I’M GOING TO SUFFOCATE.
Brooke shoved aside the thick down comforter, smacked her bare feet on the wooden floor of the bedroom and lunged for the light switch.
Light flooded across the unfamiliar four-poster bed, highlighting the rustic roses embroidered on the comforter. It wasn’t enough. Not nearly enough to banish the nightmares of her past.
She stumbled into the kitchen, slapped at the light switches. The night pressed against the windows. Her fear pressed against her chest, sucking away the air and her sanity.
She should never have returned.
The clock on the microwave glowed as if mocking her lack of bravery. Rick had given her a tour of the one-bedroom cottage behind the main house less than three hours ago. Welcomed her and her pets into the unit. And she’d believed—in that moment—everything would be all right.
Lies. So many lies. You’re destined for great things, Brooke. Dream big. Reach for the stars, dear.
She’d reached like her mom had encouraged her. Now she was alone, like she’d been as a child. The shy misfit scared of her own shadow.
But the shadows haunted her now with a different intensity.
You’ll always be safe with me, Brooke. Even Phillip had lied. Promises couldn’t be kept in a world where twists of fate took away the promisor.
She turned on the lamps in the family room. Flipped the switch for the gas fireplace. Lit up the apartment as if that would steady her world. Prove she was safe.
Brooke reached for her cell phone, her fingers slipping on the granite kitchen counter. She opened the city-map app. Typed in the address that tormented her and stole her good night’s sleep.
Two-point-six miles. That was all that separated Brooke from the very corner where a drunk driver had taken everything she’d loved from her. All the promises shattered.
Inhale into your stomach. And hold it for a count of five. So many therapy sessions and still she forgot how to breathe. The urge to run seized her.
Instead her knees buckled. She had nowhere to go.
She collapsed on a kitchen stool and stared at the blue pin flashing over the corner of Bayview and State Streets. The spot she hadn’t returned to in the past five years. She’d never again wanted to step foot two hundred miles from there much less twenty blocks.
Deep breaths from your stomach. Increase the oxygen. Slow yourself down. She exhaled on a five count. Now repeat.
Her gaze skipped around the open space, seeking something—anything—to focus on. The compact, modern kitchen encouraged even an amateur cook like herself to prepare a decadent three-course meal. The empty bar stools waited for friends to gather. The vintage couch and matching chair were worn and relaxed from years of conversations and comfortable use.
Only one word echoed through Brooke: trapped.
She was boxed in like the three crystal angel ornaments—Joy, Hope, Love—wrapped inside the wooden jewelry case handmade by her father. Her late husband had given her the angels on their third anniversary. Phillip had claimed the angels would remind her to laugh, to always find the good in everything and to never give up.
There was one other option: her former in-laws, Ann and Don Ellis. Her mother-in-law had called and offered her their spare room, but she’d had shelter then. And surely, they didn’t want a constant reminder of their grief. They’d lost their only son.
She rested her forehead on the cool granite counter.
A wildfire had destroyed her house and land. She had her pets and her life—she had what mattered most. She should be grateful.
Still, she wanted to yell at the universe: Why?
And demand an answer for a seemingly impossible choice: face the city she feared or the in-laws she knew she could never apologize to enough.
Luna sat beside her and leaned against Brooke’s leg. Brooke reached down and sank her fingers into the dog’s thick fur. The counter supported her cheek, stopping her from crumpling to the floor. Her gaze locked on the paperwork from Darla.
That was a checklist for what to do after a fire. Not a checklist for what to do to rally courage.
Brooke stared at the papers until her eyes burned. Until the chaos inside her settled into something less smothering. She never moved, only inhaled. Exhaled. Then repeated. The world became less forbidding, more approachable.
A heavy knock on the front door startled Brooke. She straightened, rubbed her cheek and blinked. The first rays of the sun streamed across the kitchen counter like nature’s own alarm clock, announcing the arrival of a new day.
Another knock rattled through her. Brooke signaled Luna into a stay position with the shift of her hand. Then cracked open the front door.
A younger version of Rick in a paramedic’s uniform grinned at her. Except for the blond that softened his red hair, making it lighter than Rick’s deep auburn. His eyes would’ve been green if not for the intense copper swirls. His height and build would’ve been well suited for a football field but filled out his uniform perfectly.
“I saw the lights on.” He lifted several cloth shopping bags and his smile, then added, “Grocery delivery.”
Brooke wanted to close the door. His appealing half grin could disarm her if she was someone else. Someone who believed in fairy tales, storybook romance and that once-in-a-lifetime love could happen again. But she couldn’t shut the door. This was Dan, Rick’s son. And her stomach growled. “How much do I owe you?”
“I’m not interested in money.” He handed the bags to her.
But he wanted something. His head tipped to the side and he studied her. She set the bags near her feet and waited.
His arms remained loose at his sides, his smile easy and unforced. “My dad mentioned you have pets.”
“I have two cats.” Her family. The only support she needed. She signaled Luna to come to her. “And my dog, Luna.”
He held out his hand, let Luna sniff his fingers before he scratched her head. “I’m hoping you can take your dog to one of the greenways several blocks over rather than letting her use the backyard for her business.”
Brooke was confused and she was sure it showed on her face. There was a perfectly good patch of grass right on the property, why should she walk to a park? Especially when it would mean taking her farther into the city and circumstances she’d rather avoid. Dan cleared his throat. “It’s nothing against your dog.” Luna sagged against Dan’s legs as if she forgave him. He added, “I might’ve told my son I was allergic to pets.”
Clearly, he didn’t have allergies. Or he’d have stopped rubbing Luna’s back by now. There was something about Dan that soothed, even from a distance. Brooke shifted backward in the doorway. “But you’re not?”
His eyebrows pulled together into a charming V. “Not exactly.”
Everyone deflected to cover a truth they didn’t want to face, including handsome Dan. Even Brooke.
“It’s complicated with my son,” Dan admitted.
Things were often complicated. “Sure. I can walk Luna to the greenway.” She forced more confidence into her voice, concealing the waver inside. “That won’t be a problem.”
That satisfied Dan, if not Brooke. “The grocery store is less than a mile past the greenway. A pet store not much farther away. Let me know if you need directions around the city.” Luna stretched out near Dan’s feet and rolled onto her back as if she couldn’t get enough of his attention. As if the dog was undisturbed by his presence.
Brooke couldn’t claim the same. “We’ll be fine right here.” For the moment.
“The city is great for exploring, even if you only have a few days,” Dan said.
In another lifetime, she would’ve agreed. Brooke inhaled, using the cool morning air to shrink the curtness from her tone. “Thanks, but sightseeing is far down on my to-do list.” Somewhere below never.
“The botanical garden and the beach can be good places to clear your mind.” Dan’s gaze searched her face. “Take a break. Breathe.”
Or those were places that stole her breath away as she realized she couldn’t hear her husband’s laugh anymore. Or how his hand had once fitted so perfectly around hers. Brooke shifted her gaze from Dan and smoothed the tremor from her voice. “Speaking with insurance agents will probably be easier here. It’s quieter.”
“You aren’t thinking about going back up north, are you?” Dan asked, his voice quiet.
“Still working on those details.”
“Do you have family in the state?” Dan kept petting Luna as if he was more than content to linger.
But if he lingered, Brooke would only notice his gentleness with Luna. She would notice him even more. How was she supposed to ask him to leave his own backyard?
“I don’t have any family. I’m an only child.” Brooke cleared her throat and avoided meeting Dan’s watchful gaze. “My parents came into the parenting world rather late. But my mother always told me that I was her greatest journey.”
A simple no would’ve been more than enough. Why did she feel the sudden need to ramble on as if he was her kind of handsome and made her nervous? But she hadn’t considered anyone her kind of anything in a long while.
“That’s a gift, isn’t it?” Dan’s movements were easy, as if he’d always taken the time to stop by and visit with her. He added, “Having a mom that makes her children feel like the most special kids in the world. My mom was like that, too.”
Dan blinked as if he’d surprised himself. Brooke liked not feeling so alone. “How long has your mother been gone?”
“Four years this past summer,” Dan said. “We head to the lake every June to remember her.”
“That’s important.” Brooke pressed her lips together.
The memorial of her late husband’s death was in three and a half weeks. Her in-laws and their extended family would travel to the city to celebrate his memory. They’d invite Brooke to join them as they had every year since his death.
Brooke had never found the courage to face Ann and Don Ellis at her husband’s grave since they buried him. “Are you sure I can’t pay you for the food?”
“It’s on the house.” Dan stood up. “Let me know if there’s anything else I can help you with.”
That one-sided smile returned, capturing Brooke’s focus, pulling it away from her worries. But she always relied on herself. She pushed determination into her voice. “I’ll be fine. Really.”
“I have errands to run.” Dan’s gaze searched her face as if he was searching for the right words. For something else to say. Maybe a promise that everything would be all right. Or an encouraging line his grandfather had always told him. An uplifting quote.
She’d seen that particular look too many times on her neighbors’ and coworkers’ faces after the accident. Dan was proof that people didn’t want to know you were hurting inside. So, she did what she always did. She reassured him. She reassured him that she could go it alone.