Dani looked shocked at his outburst. She obviously didn’t have a clue how important she was to him. He should have throttled back, lightened up, but he couldn’t; his heart was racing too fast to calm down even if he’d wanted to.
She tried to pull away. “Why are you grilling me? I’m not the one who announced I was going to hook up with some stranger!”
Hook up? Did she really think…? “Now, wait a minute—”
Dani continued to struggle. By the looks of things she seemed more pissed than he was!
“What’s the matter?” she said. “Are you ticked off because your new friend has a ‘no sleepover’ rule?”
“Oh, for God’s sake, you little idiota—” With that he brought her up against his body and kissed her. No, devoured her. All the fear, all the worry, all the desire he felt for this difficult woman poured out of him and into her—there was nothing he could do to stop it.
She resisted at first, but within seconds melted against him and opened fully to his assault. He reveled at the feeling of her softness against him. He had wondered about it, fantasized about it, so many times, and it registered in the back of his mind that reality was far, far better than anything his paltry brain could have imagined. He softened the kiss but took it deeper. He felt as if he had truly come home.
After a few moments of pure bliss, Dani seemed to regain her senses and began pushing gently against his arms. Reluctantly he broke the kiss and relaxed his grip.
“I’m not sorry I did that,” he said defiantly, his chest heaving. He was gratified to see that Dani was breathing heavily too. “Are you going to bite my head off?”
Dani shook her head, apparently still in shock. He could tell by her eyes that she was confused about what had just happened between them. That, or she’d decided to humor him. The adrenaline that had coursed so violently through Gabe’s body began to recede, replaced by the overwhelming sense of relief that she had returned to him unharmed. He took her in his arms again, not to devour or possess, but to cherish. Just for a moment. As he wrapped his arms around her, he lowered his head and inhaled the familiar scent of the woman he couldn’t help loving.
“I was starting to lose it,” he admitted. “I have been waiting for hours. I had no way to contact you. And I thought…I thought something might have happened to you.”
Dani gradually pulled away. “As you can see, I’m all right,” she said. “I’m sorry I scared you. I…I didn’t think it mattered.”
“Never think that,” he said huskily. “You matter…believe it.”
After a moment Dani stepped back, shaking her head slightly. Gabe felt she was slipping away, so he took her hand. “I don’t know about you, but I need to sit down.”
Despite her half-hearted protestations, he drew her down onto the couch and put his arm around her in a non-threatening, comforting way. She sighed and put her head on his shoulder. They stayed that way for a few minutes.
“So what happened to your date?” Dani finally asked in a neutral voice.
It bothered Gabe that Dani would think so little of him. He was the one to pull away this time. “It’s not what you think,” he said. “Carla isn’t—”
“Carla,” Dani repeated, as if testing the name. She nodded then and smiled slightly. “I am really sorry,” she said.
“About what?”
She waved her arm around the room. “About all of it. About you feeling the need to follow me here, to protect me somehow…” She laughed bitterly. “I can just imagine how Nina and Paolo back at Havenwood made it sound: “Our poor little Daniela has to deal with her family all alone…”
“I told you, they didn’t say anything of the sort,” he said, trying to keep the irritation out of his own voice. “I came because…” He rubbed the back of his neck. “Because I care for you, for Chrissake.”
“Hence the rendezvous with Carla,” she said, nodding. “I get it—”
“No, you don’t get it!” he shot back. “Carla has nothing to do with this—with us!”
“Oh, I see. I’m supposed to trust you, is that it?” Her voice was calm, but her flashing eyes telegraphed her skepticism. “I may not be a rocket scientist, but even I can see there’s a little problem in that department. Of course Uncle Santo was kind enough to let me know just how he’d been keeping tabs on me.”
Gabe winced at her words. “I’ve been meaning to explain,” he said.
Dani moved away from Gabe and sat on one of the chairs facing the sofa, her hands resting primly in her lap. “Please do.”
Gabe held back a smile; it seemed she preferred being indignant to being vulnerable. “It’s a long story.”
“I’m all ears.”
“On the contrary, your ears are the perfect size for your beautiful head.”
“I’m waiting.”
It was Gabe’s turn to sigh. “You know I grew up near La Tana. My mom was actually a cook for a few years here, and my father was a gardener, until they fired him for being drunk on the job. My mom came down with Lou Gehrig’s Disease and eventually, well, she got worse. They’d always planned to move to America, and my mom didn’t want to stand in my dad’s way, so she insisted we go. That part you already know. But what you may not know is that your grandfather paid the bills for my mother’s care for years before she died. Toward the end she needed someone twenty-four seven.” He paused, the memories intruding. He remembered the last time he saw his mother, how she tried to reach out to him, her eyes so big and luminous. And how his father held him back, pushing him out of the room despite—or perhaps because of—his tears.
“Go on,” Dani said gently.
He shook off the emotion; it was old news, and Dani deserved the straight story. “I was just a kid, but even then I got it that we were piling up a big debt that had to be repaid. My old man died a few years after we moved, so I knew it was up to me. I owed your grandfather. I owed your Uncle Santo. Do you understand?”
“Yes, I think I do.”
“Do you? Because the thing is, when you owe somebody like that, it’s pretty difficult to say no to them when they ask you to do something, especially something that isn’t going to cause anybody any harm.”
“And you figured spying on me fell into that category.”
Gabe shrugged. “Santo found out through Fausta that I was tired of L.A. and wanted to make a move. I was deciding between a couple of police departments and he strongly encouraged me to move to West Marin. That had been my first choice anyway, so I said, what the hell. It was only after I moved that he told me you were living in Little Eden.”
“Oh—I’m amazed he didn’t get you the job.”
“Ouch,” Gabe said, pulling an imaginary arrow from his chest.
“Sorry, but I wouldn’t put anything past Uncle Santo when he wants something. So tell me, what did he want?”
“Only to hear the basics about you from time to time,” Gabe recounted. “Cross my heart. I talked to the guy maybe three or four times, tops. All he wanted to know was if you were married, and if not, were you tied to anyone. He also wanted to know the status of your business and whether you were making a go of it.” He chuckled. “I told him that you had missed your calling, that you should have been an executive chef, you were that good. I told him that I alone gave you enough business to stay afloat.” He noticed Dani was chewing her lip. “What?” he asked.
“Oh…nothing. It’s just…I don’t understand why you didn’t tell me from the beginning who you were.”
“Santo asked that I keep my connection to your family to myself. I think he felt you’d be more open with someone who had no connection to your past. At first I didn’t care, so I was willing to oblige him. Later, when I did care, I figured I was in too deep. I didn’t want you to hate me and never talk to me again.” He paused. “I didn’t want to lose what little I had of you. I was a coward, plain and simple.”
Dani remained silent. He couldn’t blame her; he’d screwed things up big time. The only question was, would she ever forgive him? “Never would I intentionally hurt you, Daniela. Never.”
“I know that,” she finally said. “But I think maybe you want more than I can…than I’m willing to give.”
“What do you think I want from you?”
Dani gave a nervous laugh. “I don’t know. Friends with benefits?”
Gabe shook his head slowly, looking her directly in the eye. “At the very beginning, maybe. But…” He watched as her eyes began to fill. “Hey,” he said, reaching for her. “Don’t—”
She waved him away, wiping her tears briskly with one of her knuckles. “Gabe, I just can’t be what you want,” she breathed. “Which is why I have no right to even ask you about Carla. What you do is your own business.”
“Dani, I’m going to tell you about Carla, but first I want us to get something clear between us. I care for you…a lot. Are you saying you have no feelings along those lines for me?”
Dani looked at her hands and didn’t respond. He finally reached over and tipped her chin up. “Dani?”
The look she gave him squeezed his heart. The light had left her face. “I don’t want to lead you on,” she whispered. “I’m just no good at this.”
“You’re very good at sitting here and being near me,” he whispered back. “And you’re extremely good at kissing.” He smiled gently. “What is it you think you’re lousy at?”
“So many things.” She smiled sadly. “My baggage has baggage.”
Gabe smiled back. He would do anything to avoid hearing they were toast. “Tell you what. I’m good at shouldering a load or two, but not until you’re ready to let go of it. Okay?”
She looked at him and shook her head. “I don’t understand you. But to be honest, I could use a friend right now.” She pointed a finger at him. “Just a friend, mind you. No benefits. No expectations, no—” she glanced at the bedroom “—you know. Just a friend. Someone I can trust…really trust. And I will be the same for you. And that’s all I can be for now. Maybe that doesn’t make sense, but—”
“I’ll take it,” Gabe interrupted. “I’ll be that friend to you. But bella?”
“Yes?”
“I have one request.”
“Which is?”
“I’m a very affectionate man by nature, and my every instinct is to be…affectionate…with you. So if I cross the line occasionally, cut me some slack, okay?”
Dani grinned for the first time that night. “I suppose I could cut you some slack, Constable…sometimes.”
That was the Dani he knew and loved. Gabe could tell she was feeling better because she’d used the old nickname she’d called him back in Little Eden. He knew their relationship had a long way to go, but somehow, tonight, he felt they’d turned a corner—and he wasn’t completely discouraged by the path that lay ahead. Now wasn’t the time to bring up his talk with Carla Rinaldi or the corroboration he’d gotten from Marco. Tomorrow was soon enough to dampen her spirits once again.
“I’d be much obliged,” he said with mock formality. “Now, much as I’d love to spend the night with you…talking, of course…I’m beat. Here, I’ll give you a lift home.” He stood up and abruptly swept her off her feet.
“Oh!” Dani cried, grabbing his neck for balance. “What are you doing?”
“Showing you how well I carry baggage,” he said with a grin. He carried her to her bedroom, gently laid her down and put his arms on either side of her face. He kissed her gently on the forehead. “Buonanotte…amica.”
Dani thought after clearing the air with Gabe and setting the parameters of their relationship that she would sleep like a proverbial baby. But, perhaps more like the few real babies she’d known, she found it hard to fall asleep, and when she did, she had fitful dreams. Only these dreams weren’t about what she imagined had happened to her at a disastrous party when she was fifteen. They were what she found herself longing for now…with Gabe.
In the dream she was back at the Havenwood Inn, working in the office behind the front desk. It was late at night and the bell had rung, alerting her that someone wanted to check in.
There, standing before her, was Gabe, looking impossibly handsome in a crisp white shirt and sports coat.
“May I help you?” she asked.
“Yes. I’d like a bed for the night. With you in it.”
It being a dream, she said, “Of course, come right this way,” and took him to her bedroom on the third floor, where he proceeded to undress her and explore every inch of her body with his hands and mouth. She welcomed him and there was no fear or pain or disgust—only an incredible sense of passion and belonging, rightness…and love. Dani woke with a start, feeling agitated and somewhat embarrassed. Was she annoyed because her dream hadn’t followed the platonic protocol she’d set with Gabe earlier in the evening? Or was she frustrated because she woke up before she could complete the most erotic scene she’d ever imagined? She suspected the latter. And she realized the sexuality of the dream was only part of it. The other part—the love—scared her more than anything else.