“You don't know what it is to doubt everything, even yourself. You couldn't, not with eyebrows like yours.”
Bram Stoker, Dracula
Alexander Parkhurst was in the library studying when an envelope icon popped up on his computer screen. Clicking open his email, he was surprised to see it was from his brother Jack.
Jack hardly ever emailed him. Usually he only emailed their sister, Ellie. Despite the four-year age gap between them, Jack and Ellie had always been extremely close. Alex, as the middle brother, had often felt excluded. He didn’t say so but he envied their constant support of each other that didn’t seem to extend to him, and he was often irritated by their little codes and silly in-jokes and phrases that made both of them laugh but were meaningless to him.
They were so similar, both of them outgoing. It was tough being the only serious one in a family that were all so vivacious. Even his gentle mother had a devilish sense of humour, another quality that seemed to have passed him by. Their father, a Captain in the British Army, had always been ridiculously pleased by Jack’s sporting achievements, particularly the boxing, always clapping Jack on the back, calling him a chip off the old block, and boasting to his friends.
Alex’s entire school life at Compass Court seemed to have been blighted by the shadow of Jack. Jack the perfect prefect, then Jack the handsome head boy.
It was only this year, now that Jack had left Compass and gone off to University, that Alex really felt he was starting to come out of his shell; “be his own man” as his dad would say.
He tried not to be jealous of Jack. His parents were always saying how proud they were of Alex being “the clever one” in the family. But the fact remained that although he and Jack were brothers and only two years apart, they had never been friends as well. When Jack was around, Alex felt…small.
Alex sometimes thought he might not be so well-adjusted if it hadn’t been for Rose.
Rose Falcon was his cousin and his best friend. They were both the same age and at the same school. Her family lived just down the road from his own parents and they had been close all their lives. Rose was kind and funny and really made him come out of himself. It had been her idea that he audition for the Year Six play – something he had found terrifying. But she had been so encouraging, and it had given him a massive boost merely to have been selected, yet alone given such a major part. He just hoped he was up to the job.
Shaking off his doubts, he opened the email from Jack.
Yo Bro.
Just been speaking with the Groans. It strikes me that as you and Rose are both turning seventeen during the Easter hols this year that we should have a massive par-tay!
Top news from dad is that he is on his very last tour of duty, he’ll be back in the UK next week and they are giving him a promotion and a desk job. Deffo cause for celebration. Also just heard that the Falcons are on route back from Venezuela and planning to stick around for the foreseeable, so they will be totally up for throwing a big party for Rose this year. I suggested we have it in our garden, a marquee, the whole shebang.
Happy dayz all round. Are you in?
Alex stared at the screen for a while, his mind turning over the implications of a big party in his honour. He shied away from the limelight normally, but he would be sharing it with Rose. There was another consideration too…Diana.
Alex was totally smitten by Diana. She was beautiful but unobtainable. She was always so silent but she glowed with a radiance that was practically angelic. He knew he had put her on a pedestal, that she couldn’t be as perfect as he felt her to be, but she seemed to him to embody all that was feminine. Her long dark hair, her perfect porcelain white skin, her dark blue eyes and her sad smile. She was his Mona Lisa. The only problem was that the pedestal he had put her on was so high that she was now totally out of his reach.
He was utterly tongue-tied in her presence. Sometimes he felt as if she smiled a little brighter just for him, but he was still unable to string together a coherent sentence when she looked his way.
But Diana shared a room with Rose, and recently the two of them had formed a new friendship bond when Rose began dating Leo, who was Diana’s best friend. If Alex and Rose had a joint birthday party then Rose was bound to invite Diana. It would be a perfect opportunity to tell her how he felt. Or at least talk to her…
He began to type.
Hi Jack
Hope you are still enjoying Manchester. Have you started doing any actual studying yet or are you still out painting the town every night?
I’ll talk to Rose but yes, I think it is a great idea to have a party. I’m so pleased about dad, mum must be ecstatic. I’m also very relieved the Falcons are coming home safe and sound, I know Rose and Toby were really worried.
No news here, except that I have a part in the Year Six play.
A.
A response came back immediately.
Wild horses bro! I’ll be at the play with bells on… See you at Easter
Alex closed his eyes briefly. He didn’t want Jack to come to the play. He had deliberately played down how big his role was. What if he made a total fool of himself up on stage? But his parents would have told Jack about it anyway, so he was just going to have to strap on a pair and do his best.
He shut down his computer and went to find Rose to share all the news.
***
In his halls of residence in Manchester, Jack smiled. The first stage of his game plan had been set in action. If Alex and Rose had a party, then Rose would invite Sophie.
A party would be the perfect setting to convince Sophie to like him again. He just needed some ambient music, some soft lighting and some time alone with her. He was sure that with a little persuasion she would drop into the palm of his hand like a ripe plum.
He picked up the photo he had swiped from Alex’s room on his last visit home for a weekend. It must have been taken in the summer sometime. It showed Alex, Rose, Grace and Sophie sitting on the bank of the river outside Compass Court. They were all laughing at something on the river. Sophie had one arm slung around Rose’s shoulders and she was wearing a bright pink fifties-style dress.
He’d been an idiot to reject her, because now she was the one rejecting him.
He was still sure that a long-distance relationship wouldn’t work, but he wanted, needed, another night with her. She was eating into his thoughts, distracting him from his studies, and even worse, he had completely lost interest in other girls.
He was fairly sure it was just a case of wanting what he couldn’t have. She’d always liked him and he’d taken it for granted that she always would. He was determined to win back her affections; maybe then he could let it go and enjoy Uni without the thought of her distracting him anymore.
He put the photo back on the pinboard over his desk. Yes, with a little careful strategy he could once again have her whenever he wanted her.