This is what it feels like to come home.
That’s all I can think as Adrian and I sink onto his bed, naked and tangled up in each other. It’s a wonder I haven’t broken down in tears—I’ve been so emotionally on-edge for weeks now, even after I got the ball rolling to find a job over here, and today I was almost sick with nerves before I approached him. I’d convinced myself more than once that I was wasting my time, that he was done with me, and that there was no way in hell this night would end in his bed.
And yet, here we are.
I’m on my back, which means my hands are free to roam his beautiful body as we kiss like it’s been years—not weeks—since the last time we touched. My God, I can’t believe we’re here, and he’s on top of me, and he’s breathing hard the way he does when he’s this turned on.
“Tell me what you want,” I whisper between kisses. “Anything.”
“Hmm.” His lips curve into a grin against mine. “I do want to fuck you one of these days.”
I moan at the thought of his cock inside me. “One of these days, like now?”
It’s his turn to moan, and he shivers, pressing that thick erection against my hip. “You don’t mind switching?”
“Mind? Oh God no.” I grasp his hips and pull him harder against me. “I kept meaning to suggest it before, but I was having so much fun topping you.”
Adrian laughs. Holy fuck, but that’s the sweetest thing I’ve heard in too long. I love his smile, his laugh…
“Fuck me,” I whisper. “Right now.”
“Mmm, I love it when you get bossy,” he purrs.
I laugh and squeeze his perfect ass. “You’re going to love it even more when I turn over and let you fuck me.”
“Let me?” He snorts. “Weren’t you just ordering me to? Which is it?”
“Why don’t you get a condom and find out?”
“Well when you put it like that…” He climbs off me and gets a condom and lube from the bedside table. As if I wasn’t crazy aroused before—the prospect of taking him makes my mouth water. Jesus fuck.
He rolls on the condom, then looks at me. “How long as it been since you’ve done this?”
“A while.” I move closer to him and tease his balls with my fingertips. “Just go slow to start with, and I’ll be fine.”
He sucks in a breath, closing his eyes as I play with him. “I can go slow. Definitely.”
“To start with, I said.” I lean in and nibble on his nipple, which makes him yelp and shiver. “You tease me too much, you’ll pay for it.”
“Oh yeah?”
“Mmhmm.”
“Hmm. I might have to take my chances.” He lifts my chin and kisses me. “For right now, though, either you turn around, or I take off this condom and fuck your mouth.”
“Oh, that’s tempting too, so—”
“Turn around. Now.”
I don’t argue. As I turn onto my hands and knees, Adrian climbs up behind me. The click of the lube bottle sends a zing of excitement right up my spine. It has been a while since I’ve bottomed. Too long. Not so long that I’m worried it’ll hurt or something. I just can’t wait another second.
Eyes closed, I let my head fall forward and try to be patient. I want him. I want him so bad. So, so bad. “C’mon…”
Adrian gives a wicked laugh. Damn it. Begging was a bad idea. He’s going to make me work for it, isn’t he?
A slick fingertip teases my hole. Circles, but no pressure. Son of a…
“Adrian. For God’s sake.”
“Something wrong?” His devilish grin is audible. Hot and frustrating at the same time. “You’re not getting impatient, are you?”
I lean back against his finger, but of course, it doesn’t help. And he laughs again. Fucking bastard.
I’m about to growl another demand-slash-plea for him to put something in me when his fingertip presses in. First firmly, then harder, and my vision blurs as not one but two fingers slide inside. “Oh yeah…”
“Like that?” That grin. That damn grin. He knows I like it.
“Want more.” I lean back to drive his fingers deeper, and this time he lets me, and he bends them just right to hit that sweet spot. Dear God. At this rate, I won’t last long enough for him to fuck me.
My cock desperately needs attention, so even though I know it’ll speed things along, I start stroking just to take the edge off.
“You’re getting ahead of me,” he says, sliding his fingers in and out. “Don’t come before the main event.”
I bite my lip. “Gotta do something.”
“Mmm.” His other hand drifts up my side. “So what you’re saying is, you’re really turned on and want to be fucked.”
The sound I make isn’t English—probably barely even human—but I’m pretty sure it communicates the yes.
“Good thing I want to fuck you too.” There’s finally a note of desperation in his voice too, and we both moan as he withdraws his fingers. I have just enough time to take a breath, and he’s pressing his cock against me. “This good? Not hurting you?”
“No. Doesn’t hurt.” I dig the heel of my free hand into the mattress and lean back again.
“Oh God,” he breathes as the head of his cock breaches me. “Fuck, I knew this would be…” He trails off into a moan.
“More.” I squeeze my own cock, resisting the urge to stroke. “Please, more.”
Adrian moans, and he’s not teasing anymore. He works himself deeper, and I rock my hips to encourage more, and before I know it, we’re moving in the most perfect unison, his cock slamming into me as I stroke myself and beg him for more, more, more.
“You feel so good,” he breathes. “Oh God…”
“So… So do you.” And through the haze of arousal, I realize just how amazing this is because not only does my body feel spectacular, but I’m with Adrian. I’m in his bed. I’m taking his cock. I’m here, and this is real.
The reality of it nearly drives me to simultaneous tears and an orgasm. There’s sex, there’s sex with Adrian, and there’s sex with Adrian after I was convinced it would never happen again.
I need to see him. To make absolutely sure this is really him and he’s really here. “W-wait.”
He slows down. “What? You okay?”
I nod. “I’m good. Just…” Christ, I can’t talk.
He leans forward and wraps his arm around my stomach. “Talk to me.”
“I want…” I turn my head, and suddenly we’re almost face to face. Close enough. I let go of my cock and reach up to grab the back of his neck. He doesn’t resist at all, and the second our lips met, he thrusts deeper. There isn’t much range of motion from this angle, but he uses every bit of it, and we’re kissing, and fucking, and I don’t know how I’m even still conscious. Much more of this and…
And…
“Oh God!” I break the kiss and let my head fall forward again, and Adrian doesn’t miss a beat. He kisses my neck and pounds me—fucking pounds me—as much as he can like this, and he’s hitting every nerve ending just right to drive me wild, and everything is turning blurry, so I just close my eyes anyway and enjoy the ride. I’m not even touching myself anymore, but it doesn’t matter. I’m so close, right on the edge, ready to come, and—
He kisses the side of my neck, and releases a low, helpless moan, and I lose it.
“Fuck!” I buck under him, and he keeps riding me hard while I come, and then he’s groaning in my ear as his cock pulses inside me.
I collapse onto my stomach. He comes down with me. He pauses to pull out but then sinks over me and kisses my shoulder.
“That was amazing,” he slurs.
“Tell me ’bout it.”
He presses his lips just beneath my hairline. “I’m really glad you came back.”
I close my eyes and exhale. “Me too.” And I swear to God, that’s even more of a relief than the orgasm I just had. Relieving the sexual tension was hot, but this? Coming back to the same place? It’s like I can breathe again.
We separate, and he takes care of the condom while I flop uselessly onto my back. A moment later, he’s beside me, cuddling up against my chest where he still fits just as perfectly as he did before. Everything’s exactly like it was the first time we found ourselves here in the middle of his bed after we’d fucked. It’s like we never left.
I’m not sure how much time goes by. Several minutes at least. Maybe more. All I know is it’s a long time between when we settle like this and Adrian breaks the silence.
“I missed you, by the way.”
I press a kiss to his temple. “I missed you too.”
He shifts around and lifts himself onto his elbow. Draping his other arm across my chest, he says, “You’re really going to take the job in Henderson?”
“I think so.” I tuck his hair behind his ear. I can’t believe how much I missed doing that. “If it’s not too weird for me to move to your city.”
“Not for me, no. It’s not like you’re moving in with me.” He pauses, smiling cautiously. “Yet.”
I smile back and lift my head to kiss him. “One thing at a time.”
Adrian nods. “What would you have done if I’d said no?”
“I still have a gig in L.A.”
“So you didn’t have a whole lot to lose?” He smirks, and the comment is playful, but there’s a hint of uneasiness too.
“Careerwise? No.” I run the backs of my fingers along his jaw. “Personally? Yeah. I’d say there was a hell of a lot to lose.”
He holds my gaze, then comes in for a long, sweet kiss. Funny how I’d known all the way here from L.A. just how much was on the line, but now that I actually have him in my arms, it’s like I didn’t know the half of it. We weren’t even supposed to cross paths and wouldn’t have if I hadn’t had my meltdown a few months ago. The fact that we made it back here…
I hold him tighter.
He breaks the kiss and looks in my eyes. “I’m sorry about leaving, too. It… At the time, I…”
“Adrian.” I run my thumb along his lower lip. “I get it. I do. And I think it was for the better in the end. I needed the wakeup call, you know? To really think about what was going on. What it was, and…what it wasn’t.”
He studies me, searching my eyes for a moment. “So, what do you think it is?”
“Only one way to find out.” I pause. “Seriously, I don’t know. I just know I want to see where it could go. I’d rather give it a shot and have it not work out than spend the rest of my life wondering what might have been.”
Something in Adrian seems to relax. Something that I think has been tense since the very beginning.
“Same here.” He slides closer to me. “And it’s been killing me ever since I left. I don’t even know how many times I damn near turned around and came back that day.”
“I think we both needed some time to figure it out, though. It was rough, but everything worked out.”
He smiles again, a hint of shyness in his expression. “It did.” Then that smile starts to fade, but the shyness doesn’t. There’s something else in his expression now. Something I can’t quite put my finger on.
“What’s wrong?”
He chews his lip for a moment. “You’re changing jobs so we can be together. But…what does all this mean for my job?”
“For your—” The piece drops into place. “You think I want you to quit stripping.”
“Most people don’t want to date someone who—”
“Adrian. I’m not putting any conditions on this. You were stripping when I met you, and it’s never occurred to me to ask you to stop.”
“But can you really look me in the eye and tell me it doesn’t bother you that I’m taking off my clothes and dancing in other men’s laps?”
I give it some thought, and shrug. “No. I mean, I…” I hesitate. “All right, I’m not sure how I feel about the prostitute side of things. It’s kind of new territory, dating someone who occasionally gets paid for sex.”
His eyebrows pull together. “So, what do you want me to do?”
It’s my turn to chew my lip and fall silent. Finally, I shake my head. “I don’t know. I don’t really think I want you to do anything—I just need to get used to the idea.”
Adrian blinks. “You… You’re still going to let me do it, even if you’re not comfortable with it?”
“I’m not letting you do anything. I want to be with you. If that’s something you want to continue doing, then I’ll adjust to it.”
“And what if you decide it’s not something you can adjust to?”
Again, I’m quiet. “Look, there’s going to be a lot of stuff we run into as we go that we don’t like. And we’ll both have to make adjustments along the way. So, why don’t we cross this particular bridge when we get there?”
He mulls it over, and after a moment, nods. “I can live with that.” He starts to relax again, and trails his fingers up and down my chest. “Just so there aren’t any other surprises—I sometimes forget to put the trash out, and I always forget to buy dishwasher detergent.”
I laugh. “Okay, well, in the interest of full disclosure, I never leave my shoes in the same place twice and I use dining room chairs as coat racks.”
Adrian puts a hand over his heart and sighs dramatically. “Not… Not coat racks.”
“Yes. I know. It’s my deepest shame.”
He snorts and rolls his eyes. “Well, thanks for the heads-up. I’m sure I’ll be okay.”
“I should hope so.”
He meets my gaze, and that soft, sweet smile comes back. As he combs his fingers through my hair, he says, “I know I said it before, but… I’m really glad you came back.”
“Me too.” I gather him into my arms and kiss him, and as he presses his lean body against me, I’m pretty sure the conversation is over. He opens to my kiss. We pull each other closer, and I shiver as his hand slides down and squeezes my ass.
Yeah. The conversation is definitely over.