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       China

QINGMING FESTIVAL

Qingming Festival, or Tomb Sweeping Day, which typically begins April 4 or 5th, is a time for families to reunite and tidy the graves of ancestors—just as they have done for more than one thousand years. After paying their respects, many take advantage of the spring weather, indulging in picnics, going for walks, and flying kites.

Being a national holiday, Qingming is not a small, inconsequential occasion. Schools and offices are closed, and roads and cemeteries are packed. If you want to experience it as well, the best destination might be Beijing, where there are nearly 200 cemeteries.

Numerous travel websites have information about Qingming. I particularly recommend Dan Levin’s 2013 New York Times piece “Festival’s Resurgence Has Chinese Sending Manna to the Heavens,” as it provides terrific background and overview (www.nytimes.com/2013/04/05/world/asia/in-china-a-newfound-interest-in-keeping-dead-relatives-happy.html).

BRING IT HOME

I like to think of Qingming as the Thanksgiving of memory-keeping.

Use the anniversary of your loved one’s death as an excuse to get together with family. For this to happen, a fair amount of planning is required. You’ll have to let relatives know what you have in mind and ask everyone to set aside sufficient time for an extended and purposeful visit.

Start with an unrushed graveside memorial service. Each participant can read prepared remarks, speak extemporaneously, or recite a poem. Take along a bottle of sparkling wine or cider to toast his or her life.

If children are joining you, bring sheets of white paper and a box of crayons. Encourage kids to do tombstone rubbings. Not only will this keep them busy, it will also dispel some of the notion that cemeteries are frightening places. If your family is comfortable with the idea and cemetery rules permit, you could continue with a relaxed Qingming-style picnic.

Similar opportunities are possible if your loved one was cremated. Plan a day trip or vacation for the sole purpose of distributing their ashes. Choose a special spot. Once there, take time to linger.

The standard practices of visiting cemeteries and scattering ashes often allow for only bursts of reflection. By infusing these rituals with practices inspired by China’s Qingming Festival, you’re able to break from these more commonplace routines, making the celebration of your loved one the primary reason for getting together.