21. CIRCLE OF LIES

“I don’t know how it happened. Does anyone ever know?”

“I . . .” Henry began. “You don’t need to explain.”

“You don’t set out to have an affair. One day you’re friends with someone, enjoying their company, you know, having a nice time together, and then slowly . . . you don’t even know it at first. It just happens, becomes something else. I’m not saying you’re powerless to stop it, just that it takes you by surprise. I mean, unless you’re one of those people who sets out to do something like that. Which I didn’t. I absolutely didn’t. And then, after it’s happened, you, I . . . just didn’t think about it. When I wasn’t with him, with Jonathan. I couldn’t.”

They were in the living room, with cups of tea. Holly tugged at her hair, pushing it behind her ears.

“Do you know what I’m saying? Do you think I’m a bad person?”

“You’re not a bad person. You’re a good person. A lovely person. You know that’s what I think.”

“I’m not sure if everyone is going to think that.”

Henry didn’t know how to reassure her. His loyalties were not divided; he was loyal to both of them.

“Can I ask what you plan to do, if you’re planning on leaving Glenn?”

“No, I’m not. God, no.”

Henry had the urge to hold her and tell her everything would be all right, but instead he just smiled at her. “Good. That’s good.”

She took a sip of tea, then held the mug just in front of her lips. She bowed her head like a penitent, and he watched her put the mug down, a tremor in her hand. When she looked up again she was crying silently, tears falling from red, swollen eyes. Henry perched painfully beside her on the couch, and put a hand on her shoulder. He fished his handkerchief out of his pocket and dabbed at her cheeks and the rivulets of mascara.

“It’s okay,” he said, and when he had dried the last of her tears he put his handkerchief in her hand. “It’s all right.”

She sat quite still, blotted her face with the handkerchief, and after a while took his hand and pressed it against her cheek.

“You won’t tell Glenn about that accident today, will you?” Henry asked after a while.

“No. I probably should. But under the circumstances. Saul told me you lied to get him out of trouble at school, by the way. I do know that.”

Henry shook his head, smiled. “Little bastard. Swore me to secrecy.”

They sat side by side with the branches swaying in windows. So there it was, Henry thought, their circle of lies and half-truths. Holly would lie to Glenn, Henry would lie to Glenn, Henry had lied to Holly and Glenn. Saul had lied and then told the truth. Glenn didn’t lie but he didn’t tell the truth either. Though, who among them did?