It was a suit alarm continually pinging that started to get really irritating in his subconscious that woke Bache.
‘Will someone turn that—oh!’ he said, as he opened his eyes.
He could see the back of a space helmet hanging upside down, right in front of him. Until he tried to move and found it was actually him who was the wrong way up. He struggled a bit, but eventually managed to unbuckle the single harness clasp he’d managed to secure before the blast wave had knocked him unconscious.
‘Skata,’ he said as he dropped a metre down onto the seats opposite and landed on his head. ‘Testing lifeboats is starting to get a bit of an annoying habit,’ he moaned as he righted himself and peered around at the others. ‘Zaphir, can you hear me?’ he said, tapping on the back of her helmet.
‘Wha’?’ came the grunted reply. ‘We can’t do it again.’
‘Do what?’ asked Bache.
‘Eh—oh shit,’ she said and sat up suddenly as if she’d been electrocuted. ‘Bloody hell, that was a weird dream.’
‘We can’t do what again?’
‘Erm—ride out a nuclear blast of course,’ she said, a little sheepishly. ‘We’re alive then? Where are we?’
‘No idea,’ he said, climbing over to one of the portholes and clunking his visor against the glass. ‘It’s a bit misty out there—oh, hang on.’
‘What is it?’
‘It’s the parachute,’ said another voice over the suit comms. Nexen sat up and shuffled up into a seat opposite them. ‘It’s draped over the boat,’ he said. ‘I ended up in front of the other porthole.’
‘What’s a parachute?’ asked Zaphir.
‘Old technology,’ said Bache. ‘Lowers the lifeboat slowly down after re-entry. Precedes anti-grav drives.’
‘So long as there’s an atmosphere,’ said Nexen.
‘And hopefully dry land,’ said Bache. ‘Which we seem to have found.’
‘Are you operational, android?’ Nexen asked.
‘Affirmative,’ answered Vee.
‘Where are we?’
‘Northern hemisphere, Commander,’ Vee replied. ‘There are several small towns within walking distance from here.’
‘What region?’
‘Dreenah.’
‘Oh,’ Nexen said, not sounding overly thrilled.
‘Problem?’ said Bache.
‘I don’t know,’ Nexen replied. ‘In my day the Dreenah region was a bit politically backward and unstable. Not somewhere you’d choose for a vacation.’
‘They’re going to be surprised to see you,’ said Zaphir.
‘After all this time, nobody will have heard of me,’ said Nexen, dismissively.
Bache shuffled his way towards the airlock, uncovered the release handle and turned it. There was a slight hiss as the pressures equalised and he was able to tug the door up and peer out. The thin parachute material billowed slightly in the breeze and after checking the atmosphere quality on his suit’s display, he removed his helmet.
The first thing he noticed was the warmth and a slight hissing sound. Sticking his head and shoulders out, he found this was the sound of light rain hitting the parachute fabric.
‘It’s raining,’ he said, clambering through the hatch and dropping the short distance to the ground.
‘It’s a sub-tropical area,’ said Nexen, as Bache helped Zaphir out and down to the ground.
‘Well, at least that’s better than a frozen wasteland,’ she said, after removing her helmet and sniffing the air. ‘I hate being cold.’
As Nexen clambered out and Zaphir helped him extract Vee, who was struggling with his wonky leg, Bache dragged back the grey parachute and looked around. He discovered they’d landed on an almost barren hilltop, overlooking a lush green valley. He could see for a kilometre or so over the tops of tall flat-topped trees. Behind him, a mountain range towered up and disappeared into the rain cloud.
‘I’m glad we landed here,’ he said, eyeing some of the sheer cliffs visible through the misty rain.
‘We were lucky the chute material survived all that time,’ said Nexen, running it through his fingers. ‘But I suppose in space it’s not going to rot or anything is it?’
A low thrumming hum caught their attention and they froze, trying to pinpoint where it was coming from.
‘An airborne vehicle is approaching from the south,’ said Vee, pointing across the treetops.
‘That’ll save a walk,’ said Zaphir.
‘We don’t know they’re friendly yet,’ said Nexen, checking his pistol was where it should be. ‘If they’re coming here, let me do the talking.’
They could see the aircraft now. It was a circular enclosed six-rotor aircraft around twenty metres in diameter, matte black and sprouting an array of weapon-like pods. It screamed up and banked around them in a complete circle, then stopped and hovered for a while.
Bache waved and smiled, encouraging Zaphir and Nexen to do the same. Nothing happened for a few moments, until four struts powered down from its underbelly and it began to lower itself to the ground.
Two opposing sliding doors were ripped open as soon as the aircraft touched the ground and eight armed soldiers piled out and surrounded them. The whine of the engines dropped in pitch and a ninth soldier dropped to the ground and approached them.
Nexen stepped forward, but quickly froze again as the ring of soldiers all snapped their weapons towards him aggressively.
‘By order of the Queen, you are all under arrest for an unprovoked nuclear attack on the Sovereign Planet of Eritain,’ said the ninth soldier, who seemed to be senior to the others, judging by the extra rank insignia displayed on both arms.
‘Well, that’s a nice way to welcome me home,’ said Nexen, putting his hands on his hips and giving the soldier a glare.
‘You have a southern accent?’ questioned the soldier, the surprise evident in his tone.
‘I should think so,’ said Nexen. ‘I was born in Fendry and you can address me as Commander or sir—Major?’
The soldier baulked slightly at the rebuke, but kept his face impassive. ‘Really—and who might you be—sir?’ he replied, slightly irreverently.
‘Commander Nexen of the research vessel Xhamin,’ said Nexen, keeping his gaze directly on the major.
Bache noticed the slight upturn at the corner of the major’s mouth and a few sniggers from the surrounding soldiers.
‘Of course you are—sir,’ he answered, sarcastically. ‘And I’m the Queen.’
This time there was a round of chuckles from the lower ranks, silenced immediately by the major giving the circle of soldiers a sudden wide-eyed glare. Returning his gaze to Nexen, he smiled and continued. ‘If you’d be so kind as to allow my men to disarm and search you, then we can soon be on our way to the special accommodation we have for such distinguished guests.’
‘Good lad,’ said Nexen, completely ignoring the major’s sarcasm. ‘You need to fly us straight back to Port Halik.’
The major smiled and shook his head. ‘Well, Mr GDA, you really need to sack your intelligence gatherers,’ he said. ‘Not only have they given you an identity that’s three thousand years out of date, the destination for your espionage hasn’t existed for fifteen hundred years.’
‘Port Halik?’ said Nexen, taken aback. ‘What happened to it?’
‘Sea level rise,’ said the major as he watched his soldiers disarm the strangers. ‘They moved the spaceport a hundred kilometres inland and renamed it.’
The major inspected their suits and weapons a little more closely. ‘Modern GDA suits, the latest GDA laser weapons, and an android that’s been outlawed here for generations,’ he said, keeping eye contact with Nexen. ‘I know we’re the brunt of dumb northerner jokes, but just how dumb d’you think we are—sir?’
After being disarmed and searched, they were cuffed and pushed up onto the aircraft. Even Vee was handcuffed and sat between two soldiers.
Bache watched the lifeboat disappear beneath them as the six-engined aircraft screamed upwards and turned towards the north.