The waitress set the teapot on the table and then, much to Jasper’s annoyance, she plonked herself down in a chair beside him. ‘Haverford-Snuffley Hall!’ she said, noticing where Jasper had the paper folded open at the advertisement. ‘Now that’s a place I haven’t been to for years. Oooh, that brings back such memories! When I was a nipper I used to go there every single Sunday afternoon to visit my granny.’
‘Your granny?’ said Jasper? ‘Your granny used to live in Haverford-Snuffley Hall?’ The woman nodded. Jasper was impressed, because on top of everything else, he was a ferocious snob.
‘She was a laundry maid. Live-in, you see. Oh, there was never anybody like Granny with the old soap and starch. Famous for it, she was,’ the woman said dreamily. ‘There was no stain she couldn’t get out; her whites would have dazzled your eyes. There was no other laundry maid who could get a tablecloth or an apron as crisp and white as Granny could.’
What would your granny say if she could see you now? Jasper thought, gazing sourly at the waitress’s greasy pinny, with its egg and ketchup stains. Do you think she’d be proud of you? You’re not exactly following in the family tradition.
‘What were the gardens at Haverford-Snuffley Hall like then?’ he asked aloud, and his heart sank when the woman said, ‘Immense. They seemed to me to go on forever. Orchards and a walled garden, a kitchen garden full of vegetables and soft fruit, glass houses, shrubberies and more flower beds than you ever could count. And everything was kept to the pitch of perfection: not so much as a daisy on the lawn, not a single petal or leaf out of place.’ Jasper listened to her in dismay. ‘The house had got a bit crumbly in recent years, but it was done up a while back.’ Yes, Jasper knew that it had been done up.
‘The thing Granny didn’t like about being there was that the house was haunted.’ Jasper gave a little snort of contempt at this – he didn’t believe in ghosts, not for a minute. ‘Oh, you can scoff,’ the waitress said, ‘but it’s the truth. Granny never actually saw a ghost there, but she heard it. It used to wake her up, moaning and wailing, in the middle of the night. What was really strange was that it wasn’t just the house that was haunted, there was a ghost in the garden too.’
‘And it wailed too, I suppose?’ Jasper asked sarcastically.
‘No,’ the waitress admitted. ‘It was very odd, it was musical. You’d be walking in the garden, Granny used to say, with not a bother on you, and the next thing you’d hear music coming from nowhere – the saddest music you can imagine. Oooh, it used to break her heart to hear it. She said that the wailing in the night frightened her out of her wits, but that the music was worse.’
‘You’ll be telling me next you can smell ghosts,’ Jasper said. He was fed up now listening to this woman ramble on, and was just about to suggest that she go back to her grill-plate and frying pans when she said, ‘There’s hidden treasure in that house too. Well, there’s supposed to be.’
‘Treasure?’ Jasper said. ‘What kind of treasure?’
‘An emerald necklace,’ the woman said. ‘It was known as the Green Marvel because all the jewels in it were so big, especially the central stone. It was just enormous.’ Now Jasper was really interested.
‘Hidden, you say?’
‘Well, it’s supposed to be lost somewhere in the house. But maybe there was no such thing. You know the way people make up stories. I believe in the ghost, but I’m not sure that I believe in the Green Marvel.’
Jasper thought the exact opposite. He was convinced now that there were jewels hidden in Haverford-Snuffley Hall, but he didn’t believe for a moment that there were ghosts. The gardening job was beginning to look most attractive to him.
Just with that, the strangest thing happened. The woman’s face went a funny purple colour and she jumped up on to her chair. She opened her mouth wide and she screamed. ‘AAAARRRGH!’
What’s got into her all of a sudden? Jasper wondered. She pulled her pinny up over her head and stood on one leg, then she screamed again. ‘AAAAARGH! RATS! AAAAARGH!’
There on the table, as bold as you like, were Rags and Bags! Jasper had been so busy listening to the woman’s stories about Haverford-Snuffley Hall and the Green Marvel that he had forgotten all about them. The rats had sneaked out of his pocket and had eaten all the leftovers on the table, all the rinds and crusts. By the time the waitress noticed them, Rags was tucking into the sugar lumps in the china sugar bowl, and Bags had his head deep in the milk jug. The woman screamed one last time and then she fainted out cold, falling off the chair and on to the floor.
‘What did I say to you two about behaving yourselves?’ Jasper bellowed. ‘What did I say about being good? Get in here now!’ He held his jacket open and the two rats quickly slunk back into the inside pocket. Jasper fastened his buttons so that they wouldn’t be able to get out again without his noticing. The woman gave a little moan. She was coming round. Quick as a flash Jasper picked up his suitcase and ran out of the café.
He raced off down the street, ran and ran through the little town until he was completely out of puff, by which stage he was at the edge of Woodford, where the fields and the farms began. Stopping to catch his breath, he reflected that things had turned out rather well after all. He had had a jolly good breakfast and he hadn’t had to pay a penny for it. He still had all the money the prison officer had given him safe in the envelope. Opposite where he was standing he could see a signpost, hidden in the hedge. He moved the branches aside and read:
‘HAVERFORD-SNUFFLEY HALL 4 MILES’
There was a painted hand pointing in the right direction.
That’ll be a long walk, he thought, and then a hay cart appeared. Jasper waited until it had passed and then he ran behind it. He tossed his suitcase up on the hay, then he took a flying leap and jumped on himself.
‘Well done me!’ he crowed. ‘First a free breakfast and now a free ride to where I’m going.’ He unbuttoned his jacket and the two rats popped out of his pocket. Jasper was too cheerful now to be cross with them any longer. ‘Everything’s going our way, lads,’ he cried. ‘Everything’s going to be fine!’ The two rats bounced up and down on the hay with delight. The sunlight sparkled down through the trees as the cart trundled along the country road, taking Jasper to his destination: Haverford-Snuffley Hall.