1) The “Show-off”
To get our emotional needs met, we draw as much attention to ourselves as possible. We become very talkative, trying to make ourselves look important by name-dropping, exaggerating our accomplishments in work, sports, ministry, or family. We can't help but steer nearly all conversations back to ourselves.
2) The “People Pleaser”
We find our identity in conforming to group ideals. We have very little, if any, identity of our own, so we conform to the perceived norm in order to belong. We fit into groups well because we are good at saying the right things to be accepted. At church we are the perfect Christian, but with our non-Christian friends, we fit right in too. We can be fairly critical of others, but cannot receive criticism from others.
3) The “Timid”
We are not to be confused with the meek (which is a character strength). We have a big fear of man, failure, and rejection. We lack the inner strength to make our own decisions. We usually deal with self-pity and a sense of no self-worth. Most people don't know, but deep inside of us there is often quite a bit of anger. We are usually very passive.
4) The “Isolationist”
Our inner pain has caused us to form walls of self-protection. We cut ourselves off from anyone we think is a threat to us and we usually bond to only one or two people. This can cause us to become very possessive of those we get close to and to feel threatened by anyone else entering into our relationships.
5) The “Fighter”
We become rebellious and defiant towards everyone and everything, especially the system we presently have to operate in. We are usually very independent because we don't want to have to depend on anyone who may hurt us again. Often, we become workaholics in order to prove our self-worth and to establish our identity.
6) The “Moralist”
We are God's policemen. We see the fault in everything and everyone and know how to fix it. We have an answer for everything under the sun. We are very opinionated, which reveals our lack of humility. We live by the letter of the law but are empty of love. We are usually right in our observations, but have the wrong attitude; that makes us wrong. However, to us, our rightness justifies our wrong attitude.
(Adapted by permission from Shiloh Place Ministries training materials.)