SHE SHOULD HAVE cancelled the kayaking, but then what would that have taught little Mason—that adults made promises and didn’t keep them? That wasn’t a lesson he needed to learn at four years old.
Hell, she’d had enough life lessons growing up to make her protective of any child, but for some reason her heart had made space for this little boy.
She found a smile for Mason, who was standing in front of her in a cute short wetsuit with a shark on the front, and a huge, excited grin. ‘Right then, buddy. First off, we need to lift the kayak down to the water.’
‘I’ll take one end...you take the other.’ Owen stepped in and picked up one end of the bright orange kayak, his manner clipped and assertive.
He’d been right, of course, when he’d said he needed to focus on having a wonderful life filled with adventures with his son, but watching him jog away from her the other day had made her chest contract with hurt and confusion. He hadn’t even pretended he was running for any other reason.
I have a habit of wanting things I can’t have.
He wanted her, despite everything. And he had been willing to say it. And she wanted him too, which threw everything about her plans into upheaval. Should she stay, just in case something came of this attraction?
No. She couldn’t put all her hopes and dreams into this man. She needed to grow and explore the world.
And was it her imagination, or was he being standoffish today? His gaze wasn’t quite so intense as usual, his smile not as full.
He was closing himself off.
She couldn’t blame him. She was struggling with her emotions too. Spending time with him just made her want more of him...more time, more kisses. She’d do well to take a leaf from his book and keep her distance...as far as she could, when giving them a personal kayak lesson.
‘Thanks. Mason, you bring the oars.’ She showed him how to carry them, hoping that focusing on the child would keep her from focusing too much on the man.
Of course, it didn’t work. Even with them in a separate kayak she was too aware of Owen’s strong hands, his powerful stroke, the tightening and relaxing of his muscles. Which were far too prevalent, given that the man was bare-chested save for the life jacket she’d insisted they all wear.
She took them across the bay to explore the mangroves, pointing to the little shoals of jumping fish and the stingrays swimming languidly in the shallows.
Mason’s face broke into a huge smile as he watched the large flat shapes moving beneath the water. ‘What are they doing?’
‘They’re feeding on the little sea worms, insects and shrimps.’
‘They eat insects?’ His eyes widened.
‘Sea insects, yes.’
Mason pulled a face. ‘Yukky!’
‘You don’t want to eat insects?’
‘No way. I like ice-cream and marshmallows.’
‘Good choice.’ As she watched the little boy’s amusement grow as large as his eyes, she realised she was falling for him too.
What on earth was she doing, spending more time with them? It was like an addiction. Instead of putting distance between herself and this little family, she gave herself excuses and reasons to see them. She just craved more and more.
She smiled over at them both and realised Mason was starting to shiver. ‘Right, we should probably get back. The wind’s picking up and it’s getting cold. Last one back to camp makes the hot chocolate.’
‘Hey, not fair, you’re a fantastic kayaker.’ Owen put his oar in and splashed cold water over her. It was the first time today that his face had broken a smile.
‘Hey!’ She splashed back. ‘There’s two of you against one of me. That’s an unfair advantage right there.’ Not just for kayaking but for an arrow of longing straight to her chest.
‘It helps if the two of us both row at the same time and in the same direction,’ Owen yelled and then started some seriously frenzied rowing.
By the time she reached the shore, men and boat were back up in the boathouse. Owen sauntered back and took the end of her kayak to carry it up. ‘Mason’s hooked. It looks like I’m going to have to add a kayak to my list of things to buy.’
‘Look no further. We have to sell off everything here.’
‘Good call. I expect mates’ rates.’ He turned to look at her and she couldn’t read his expression.
But she felt a tight twist in her gut. It was like being on a roller coaster...fun, laughter and the looming end. The push and pull of attraction and the struggle. And the excitement. Oh, the excitement of it all. ‘I’ll talk to Mia and see if we can come to a deal.’
Mason was still shivering as he helped them stack the kayaks and hose them down. She stroked his head. ‘Hey, buddy. You look cold. Go up to the house and have a nice warm shower.’
But Owen frowned, back to standoffishness after that glimpse of warmth. ‘We can just use the one in the bunk house.’
‘Ah, I’d prefer it if you didn’t. I’ve just cleaned it in preparation for the next group.’
‘We’ll just have one at home.’
Why was he stalling about going into her house? ‘The boy’s cold, Owen. Use mine.’
He caught her gaze, his eyes boring into her soul. ‘Okay. And then we’ll be on our way.’
Owen hoisted Mason into his arms and sped through the house, trying not to linger. It felt intensely personal here, surrounded by Carly’s things. There was no evidence of any other person, apart from the photo of her wedding day in the hallway. She looked so happy, a certain sort of sparkle in eyes he’d yet to see—true joy.
God, he wished that for her more than anything. But not at the cost of losing his heart. Again. Hadn’t he already learnt that, when it came to women, he had absolutely no clue?
He grabbed some towels and took Mason into the shower.
Then it was her turn to shower while he poured the hot chocolate into mugs in the kitchen. He heard the water rushing through the pipes, heard her singing and tried hard not to imagine her in there. He honestly did. But, having seen her in her tight-fitting rash vest and shorts, he knew far too much about her shapely body for his thoughts to keep straying there.
She appeared a few minutes later, her hair wet and curling in waves around her shoulders. Her face was shiny from what he imagined was from one of those face creams in the bathroom. She was wearing a white crop top and white tiered skirt that reached her toes.
He didn’t think he’d ever seen anyone so beautiful. It actually hurt his chest. He’d been trying to keep his distance, but he couldn’t stop himself from liking her. From wanting her. And he didn’t think that he’d feel any different even if she was halfway across the world.
Which didn’t bode well for her impending departure.
‘Feeling a bit warmer?’ she asked as she ambled across the cottage garden to the picnic table and benches where Owen and Mason sat.
‘Yes, thanks.’ He pushed back from the table and stood, reminding himself of his promise to keep his distance. ‘It’s probably time we headed off.’
But she frowned, looking at Mason’s chocolate moustache, and then at Owen’s still half-full cup. ‘What’s the hurry? Drink up your hot chocolate.’
He gave her a faltering smile, trying to keep the barriers up but failing. ‘We need to make a move soon. I’ve got to get sleepyhead to bed.’
She peered at him, as if looking deep into his soul. He hoped she couldn’t see how confused he was. ‘Owen, are you okay?’
No. ‘Fine, thanks. Why?’
‘You seem...off today.’
He pressed his lips together, wondering just how much to say. It wasn’t exactly good form for him to admit that he’d been trying to keep his barriers up when she was being so hospitable. He sighed and sat back down. ‘Yeah. I’m fine. Honestly. I’ve just got things on my mind.’
‘Such as?’
Luckily his mini-me diverted their attention to two large tents that had been erected on the grass. Mason pointed to them and asked, ‘Why have you got tents?’
Carly grinned at his son. ‘For the school children to sleep in.’
‘Don’t they sleep in the house?’
‘Not always. The children come to stay for three nights, and for one of them they sleep inside, one of them they have to build their own shelter called a bivouac and for one night they have to set up camp. These two are here for them to learn how to put up a tent. I was going to take them down, but they got very wet in the storm the other night so I’m drying them out.’
Mason looked thoughtful. ‘Can I have a look inside?’
‘Sure thing.’
Both Owen and Carly said it at the same time.
Great minds.
Mason ran across the grass, disappeared inside the tent and then came back out again, his mouth split in a wide grin. ‘It’s like a little house. Daddy, can we have a tent?’
Owen glanced over to Carly and gave her a ‘kids, hey?’ shrug. But she just grinned and mouthed, ‘Pushover.’
And here was the thing—he was trying so hard to keep his distance but one smile from her, one word, one look had his heart and, if he was honest, his soul too, barrelling straight towards her again.
He turned his attention to his son. ‘Sure thing, buddy. We could go camping—cook sausages on the fire too.’
‘And marshmallows?’ His son looked at him hopefully.
‘Of course. Our own adventure.’
‘I like this adventure, Daddy.’
‘Me too.’ Owen turned and caught Carly looking at him. He smiled and the words tumbled out of his mouth, ‘I like this adventure very much.’
Her cheeks bloomed bright red at his words, clearly understanding that they weren’t referring to the kayaking. ‘Like I said, I’ll most likely be selling the kayaks, and I’ll offer you a competitive price. In the meantime, feel free to borrow them any time. Same goes for tents. We have a few here and we’ll have to sell them off too. Unless the new owner decides to keep the camp as it is. But I can’t see that happening.’
‘Well, if it makes things easier, I’ll definitely buy some stuff from you. Right, Mason? A tent and a kayak?’
‘Yes, please.’ Then the little boy grabbed his backpack and shuffled back inside the tent.
Which left just the two of them sitting there. Her cheeks still bore glimmers of her blush.
There was so much he wanted to say to her, questions he wanted the answers to... When will you come back? Is it worth waiting? Are you interested in me, in us? If you came back would you leave again? Do you keep your promises?
But they all broke his cardinal rule of backing off.
He glanced across the table and caught her gaze.
She smiled.
His body prickled.
He ached to say something important. But instead he turned away from her and looked to the tent. Coward.
‘Mason? You okay in there?’
‘Playing hide and seek with teddy.’
He laughed. There was nothing in the tent to hide behind or under. ‘You need anything, just shout.’
‘Yes, Dad.’
Carly leaned back in her chair and smiled as she too looked over at the tent. ‘He’s going to remember this special time you spent with him. You’re a great dad, you know that?’
‘I wish. But I want to be, so I guess that’s half the battle, right?’
Now her laser focus retrained on Owen. ‘Must have been hard when his mum left.’
‘I was lost, to be honest. We’d tried hard and we’d failed. I watched her pack her things and then leave, and wondered just how long it would be before Mason saw her again. He didn’t cope well. We had endless sleepless nights and wails of wanting Mummy. Which made me feel totally inadequate, because there’s something about a mother’s love, right?’
‘I wouldn’t know. Although Wendy was lovely.’ Carly shrugged sadly.
Damn. How utterly careless of him. ‘You’ll be a mother one day, and you’ll get to lavish those babies with everything you didn’t have.’
‘Oh, don’t worry. I’m going to be the worst kind of mother.’ She laughed. ‘Helicopter parenting. Spoiling them completely. So much love.’
She really did have so much love to give to the right person. Whoever that might be. Whoever she met on her travels.
She pierced him with her gaze. ‘You loved Miranda, right? Once?’
‘Of course. She’s a remarkable woman and a very talented actress. But she needed to follow her own path.’ He paused and looked down at his feet. A sudden sadness filled his chest. ‘Just like my mother.’
And now Carly was planning to go too. He needed a way out of this conversation.
He sat up and walked over to the tent. When he crawled in, he found his beautiful boy fast asleep with his teddy bear tucked safely in his arms.
Now what to do? He turned to walk back to Carly but, when he turned round, she was there behind him, so close, in touching distance. Like a worried mother hen. A worried mother. The thought slid into his head, and he banished it immediately. ‘He’s fast asleep. Completely out for the count. Shame to wake him up, but I really should get him home.’
Her eyes fixed softly on Mason as she whispered, ‘Bless. I’ll go to the cottage and grab some blankets.’
‘Or I should probably wake him up and take him home.’
‘Or...don’t wake him. You could stay.’
He wasn’t sure he understood the subtext of her comment. ‘Here?’
‘Why not? I’ve got all the gear. Won’t take a minute to grab some sleeping bags and mats.’
He blinked, trying to make sense of her words. ‘You’ll stay too?’
But she laughed, frowned and kind of blushed all at the same time. ‘No! I have a perfectly good bed in the cottage.’
‘What if we get scared or attacked by bears?’
She shook her head, eyes full of tease. ‘You’ll be fine, you big burly man. There are no bears on this island.’
He played along. ‘But there are wallabies. Maybe that old guy brought over bears too. Bears you know nothing about.’
‘I know every nook and cranny of this island, and I can promise you, there are no bears.’
‘That’s a shame.’
‘Too bad.’ She tutted and rolled her eyes. ‘Looks like you’re staying the night. It’s time for that Boy’s Own adventure you’ve been promising. I’ll bring you both some blankets.’
‘And more hot chocolate?’
She gave another eye-roll. ‘Okay, and hot chocolate. What an intrepid adventurer you are.’
He laughed, words slipping freely from his lips before he could stop them. ‘Hey, I have plenty of ideas to make it more exciting.’
She spluttered, laughed and her eyes twinkled. They were back to being friends, being friendly, and a step closer to that line they’d promised not to cross. ‘Okay. I’ll bring it all over. Back in a minute.’
In the meantime, he probably needed another dip in the ocean to cool off.
By the time Carly got back to the camping area, the sun had well and truly set. They covered Mason with the blankets and zipped up his tent.
As Owen straightened, something glinting in the water caught his eye. No, not glinting—sparkling. The waves rolling onto the shore were bright with light. ‘Look, the water’s sparkling. Wow. That’s awesome.’
‘Bioluminescence. Yes, it happens sometimes. Come and look.’ She started to walk towards the shoreline.
But Owen glanced back at the tent and concern rattled his chest. ‘What about Mason? What if he wakes up?’
‘Seriously, he’ll be fine. Hundreds—no, thousands—of children have camped here and been completely safe. We’ll only be there...’ She pointed to a spot about a hundred metres away.
Reassured, he followed her down to the beach and put a blanket on the sand. They sat down on it, close but not touching.
He stared at the silvery white lights in the ocean wash. ‘It’s like stars dancing on the waves.’
She looked up at him and smiled. ‘Yes. It’s exactly that. That’s a perfect description.’
And there she was, smiling and perfect herself. ‘I’ve never seen anything so amazing.’
He meant her, of course, but he directed his gaze back to the sea. ‘It’s beautiful.’
Then he remembered not to remind her about all the fabulous things Rāwhiti Island had going for it. She was clearly finding it hard to leave without remembering all the reasons to stay. Which, he had to admit, was crazy when his whole body was screaming for her touch, for her to stay just long enough for him to kiss her again. But he had to support her plan. That was what friends did. ‘How’s the sale going?’
‘Okay. It’s conditional on a builder’s report, and a few other things, but all being well we’ll be heading off to Auckland in a couple of weeks to sign the paperwork.’
‘A couple of weeks? That’s quick.’ He’d hoped for months. ‘When I sold up in Mount Eden it took about twelve weeks for everything to be processed.’
‘We’re not in a chain, neither is the buyer. Should be smooth running.’
‘Do you have to go into the city? You can’t sign from here?’
She shook her head. ‘Not when lawyers are involved. We have to sign it all in person. Mia and I have decided to have a couple of days’ R and R in the city. Then, once the contract is signed, I’m heading off.’
‘I’ll offer to have Harper, so you can have some child-free fun before you go.’ He couldn’t believe he was making it so easy for her to leave.
She turned and blinked, surprise filling her expression. ‘That’s so kind.’
‘I know.’ He shrugged, feeling so many emotions other than kind. ‘I’m selfless to a fault.’
He laughed and lay back on the blanket, looking up at the cloudless night sky, the myriad stars and purple slick of Milky Way.
She lay down next to him. Silence stretched between them. Comfortable, in that he didn’t feel a need to fill the gap in conversation. Uncomfortable, because he was painfully aware of her breathing, the rise and fall of her chest and breasts. Her scent.
The fact she was so close, in touching distance but not touching. Painfully not touching.
A couple of weeks? That was all they had left. No chance for anything to develop even if they both wanted it to.
He closed his eyes and breathed deeply. He was fooling himself by pretending he didn’t want to. And the way she looked at him, the way she looked at his son—with such affection and care—made him believe she wanted something too. But maybe they were destined to be just good friends.
Suddenly, he felt the soft brush of her hand against his. For a beat he thought he’d imagined it, or she’d done it by accident, but when her fingers stroked the back of his hand again he knew he’d misjudged.
Just that light touch set his body aflame.
He swallowed, unsure how to outwardly react when internally he was jittery and hot. Jeez, it was the first time he’d been unsure about his next move with a woman. Carly’s precarious past, her present vulnerability and the fact she was leaving all gave him pause.
But, man, he ached for her.
He turned on to his side to look at her. To see if what she was doing was intentional. She drew her hand away and turned on her side to face him, her eyes hidden by a floppy lock of hair.
He was so turned on by the simple touch of her skin against his, he could barely form words. I want you. I want to kiss you. I want to be inside you. Here. Right now. On this magical beach.
‘Hey, Carly,’
‘Hey.’ She smiled.
He slid a finger under her chin and tilted her head so he could see her face.
And—oh God, yes—her moves were intentional. Her eyes were as sparkling as the water. Her mouth was slightly open, her body inching closer.
And, just like the last time, it took just one look...one desperate, sexy, hungry look...and they were in each other’s arms.