The last thing Nicole wanted was company. With Jared away on business, Nicole was enjoying her solitude by listening to the gospel song “Stand,” over and over. When she became ready to face the world, Nicole would have a new theme song.
As she crossed the living room to answer the incessant buzzing of the intercom, Nicole was startled by her own reflection in the framed mirror near the door. She looked bad. The intercom buzzed annoyingly again and Nicole pushed the talk button.
“What is it!” she yelled at the speaker. She touched the arrangement of chrysanthemums sent by Yancey and Cedric, and breathed in the heavy fragrance of the apartment.
“It’s me, Miss Springer. Clinton. The doorman. I’m terribly sorry to disturb you, ’cause your husband told me you weren’t feeling well, but there’s a Miss Morris here to see you, and she said she come from way across the country to see you.” The doorman lowered his voice to a whisper. “And from what I can tell, I don’t think she’s going to leave without seeing that you’re all right. What would you like for me to do?”
Miss Morris, Nicole thought. Delaney! “Please tell Miss Morris that I’m fine, but I really can’t see her right now. Tell her …”
“Nicole?” Delaney’s voice came over the intercom. “Girl, I’m on my way up there and you’d better open the door or I’m calling 911. And you can forget if you think Clinton here can keep me from coming up.”
Nicole knew there was no stopping her old friend Delaney Morris. Not when she used that tone. By the time Nicole had put on a robe, turned down the gospel music she was playing, and unlocked the two dead bolts, Delaney was knocking on the front door.
Delaney was shocked at her friend’s appearance. The first thing she noticed was Nicole’s eyes, which were void of the sparkle Delaney remembered. Nicole’s hair was tangled and wild, dark shadows encircled her eyes, and her lips were chapped.
Nicole felt shamefully self-conscious under her friend’s close scrutiny. She felt the tears begin to well up in her eyes as she prepared to hear her friend tell her how messed up she was!
“Bad hair day?” Delaney said.
Nicole couldn’t help herself. She laughed out loud and couldn’t stop giggling. She laughed until her side hurt, and Delaney laughed right along with her. They grabbed each other and held each other so tightly and laughed so hard that Nicole began to choke. Delaney patted her on the back and told her to raise her arms. When Nicole put her hands up over her head, the coughing subsided, but when she took one look at Delaney, with her own tears falling from the corners of her eyes, Nicole began to cry again.
After a few moments, Nicole said, “Delaney, girl, what in the world are you doing here?”
“You got any tea in that kitchen?”
“Tea?”
“I think so,” Nicole said.
“Then c’mon in the kitchen and I’ll make us some tea. Then I’ll tell if you’ll tell. Should I tell Clinton to take my garment bag out of the storage room?”
“I’ll buzz him later.”
The two friends walked arm in arm into the dark kitchen. Nicole sat at the counter while Delaney opened the blinds to allow the soft light of early evening to flood the room. She turned on the kettle, found the tea bags and two mugs, and set them on the counter. She pulled a barstool next to Nicole’s and put an arm around her friend’s shoulder, drawing her close.
“So you gonna let the bastards grind you down, huh?”
“What are you doing here?”
“I’ll give you the short version: Cedric called and told me those bastards had you replaced in the show. He was worried about you ’cause nobody had the chance to say good-bye. I called you. You weren’t answering the phone. I didn’t leave a message. I called Jared’s mother in Atlanta and she gave me his office number. After finally getting through that tough assistant of his, we talked. He told me you were taking it real hard and that he was worried about you. Said he thought maybe you should go see Dr. Huntley, but you weren’t having it. I told him I’d pray for you ’cause I knew you weren’t feeling me these days,” Delaney said.
“You thought I was still upset with you?” Nicole asked with her head held down.
“I figured you’d get over it sooner or later, but Jared called me from Chicago and told me you guys had a big fight. And I know you don’t like to fight. He said the fight was about him wanting you to stop your career and have a baby. I know how sensitive that is for you.”
The high-pitched whistle of the teakettle put a temporary halt to Delaney’s rapid-fire narrative. She poured the water over the tea bags and handed Nicole a mug. She set her own steaming mug on the table and picked up where she left off.
“Jared said you were sleeping too much, not eating enough, and depressed as hell. He said he didn’t know what to do, that he’d never seen you act like this. But from his voice and our conversation I think Jared’s in worse shape than you. Men hate it when they can’t fix things,” Delaney said. She took a sip of her tea.
A trace of a smile touched Nicole’s eyes, and she said, “I know that’s right.”
“Anyway, Jared told me he was going to be in Chicago for a few days on business and then he was headed to Atlanta for business and to check on his mother. It sounded like he needed some space himself.
“So I said to myself, ‘Miss Self, you need to get on a plane and get to New York and see what’s up with my girlfriend.’ Jody and Fletcher were on their way to Seattle to see my mama, so the timing was perfect. And, ta-da! Here I am. Come to save the day,” Delaney said as a sweet smile softened her face. “Okay, your turn.”
Nicole gazed for a moment at her friend, beautiful with a brownish-yellow skin tone like she had just returned from the Islands. She thought about how Delaney, who used to refer to herself as a “video ho,” was now a leading director of music videos. She still had a dancer’s body, and her thick, short curly hair gave Delaney the look of a woman who had to be taken seriously.
When Nicole began to speak, she told Delaney the events of Grand Rapids, with the new director, her sudden illness, and how she was dismissed. Just telling her old friend her side of the story made Nicole feel better than she’d felt in days.
“I will tell you this, though, girl. I walked out of there with my head held high. I gave them a performance of a lifetime. The only problem was when I got back to New York, where I thought my dreams were going to come true, well, I just crashed,” Nicole said.
“And you’re entitled to that every once in a while. But don’t you for one minute let some lame-ass director define who you are. That sorry S.O.B. is just mad ’cause you wouldn’t give him some back in the day. You know how these showbiz people are. And Chris is a diva hater if there ever was one.”
“I know you’re right. I probably wouldn’t have taken it so hard, but I didn’t have anyone to turn to. I mean, Jared tries, but I don’t think he understands how important this is to me. And my mother, well forget that. And I didn’t have a friend left. I didn’t have a Candance. And I didn’t have a Delaney,” Nicole said as she touched her friend’s hands gently.
“You’ll always have Delaney, whether you want one or not. Now, you listen to me, Ms. Springer-Stovall. You are the most talented person I know. Anyone who knows you knows you’re a wonderful actress, a great singer, and an okay dancer.” Delaney laughed as she moved her hand side to side.
“I’ll never be able to dance like you,” Nicole smiled.
“And you don’t need to. So what are we going to do about this baby thing?”
“What do you mean?”
“You still want a kid?”
“Now, Delaney, don’t play me like that. I don’t want you to change your mind ’cause you’re feeling sorry for me,” Nicole said.
“I ain’t feeling sorry for you, and I didn’t say that I’ve changed my mind. But you know it’s important to Jared.”
“I know. But, Delaney, I think I got to face why I’m so afraid of getting my hopes up. I also have to face that I got some real deep concerns about motherhood.”
“Why?”
“I’m ashamed to say, but I’m afraid I’d turn out just like my own mother.”
“Honey, from what you’ve told me and what I’ve seen … there is reason to be scared. But just like I can see your talent, I know you’d be a great mother. If that’s what you want. Forget about Jared for a moment. He’s a man, and even though he’s a cut above the rest, he’s still a man. And from what I remember about them, they think of themselves 24–7, 365!”
“But what if he leaves me?”
“Then he loses. But Jared ain’t going nowhere. He is whipped! And he loves you.”
“I’m so glad you’re here. I’m sorry for being such a selfish bitch,” Nicole said.
“Nicole, at some point in each of our lives, we all become selfish. It doesn’t mean we’re bad or bitches. It just means we’re taking a moment for ourselves and we need to do that from time to time. Just don’t make a habit of it, or I’ll have to do a dyke pull-up on you,” Delaney said, playfully putting her fists in a boxer’s stance.
“So what do I do?” Nicole asked.
“About what?”
“About Jared and the baby business,” Nicole said as she took the mugs and walked around the counter and placed them in the empty sink.
“Well, you kick the blues to the curb, girlfriend. Stiff upper lip. It’s time to get on with life. Kick some butt, and take names.”
“What should I do first?”
“We need to make a plan.”
“A plan?”
“Yeah, and I know just what it needs to be,” Delaney said forcefully.
“What?”
“We need to get a comb and a brush so I can fix your head before the Hair Police come in here and give you a citation for this do!”
“You’re still crazy, Delaney,” Nicole said with a smile. When she smiled, it was as though the sun had finally broken through the clouds.