I stare at Sarah’s message again now I’m home. I’ve known for a whole night and day that Laurie’s in trouble and I haven’t been in touch. I don’t know if that makes me a good boyfriend or a shit friend.
I keep tossing it backward and forward, trying to decide the right thing to do. What’s right for me might not be right for Laurie, and not right for Amanda, either. I don’t want to fuck up.
I look at the open screen. I’ve typed and deleted a message twice already. The first one, Hey, Lu, how’s tricks? was too cheery and out of the blue, and my second attempt, I’m always here if you need me was too intense. My fingers hover over the buttons, and then I try again.
Hey, Lu, Sarah told me your news. Can I call you?
I press send before I can deliberate, and then fling my phone down and grab a beer from the kitchen.
It’s half an hour before she replies. My heart does its old familiar flip at the sight of her name on the screen.
Would you mind not? I’m not really feeling ready to talk to people yet. Thanks though. I’ll call you when I can. Sorry. X
Christ. I’ve been relegated to people, outside of her most trusted circle. I slump and close my eyes, wondering if there will ever be a time when it feels like all the pieces of my life are in the right place.