Chapter Eighteen

 

As autumn tightened its grasp on the land, Lucy found her affection for Andrew growing. She was not quite certain what had spurned her newfound feelings for him; perhaps it had been the picnic they had shared three weeks earlier or how he was no longer as rigid, preferring to smile and laugh more than scowl as he once had. Whatever the reason might have been, she cared not, for she enjoyed how it felt to have someone care about her, the warm sensation that washed over her whenever their hands touched, or, like last evening, when he wished her goodnight and his lips had gently brushed hers. It was not love, that much she was certain, but perhaps one day it would lead to it.

She let out a small laugh as she closed the book she had been reading. Andrew was busy working in his study and she looked forward to tonight when they would dine together, as they had been wont to do for some time now. She walked to the window and felt a pang of sadness. The hedges, which had been adorned with bright green leaves, now stood bare, and the multitude of flowers were now gone, leaving behind a wash of dull brown earth in their wake. However, she knew she could count on next year, come spring, when life would return and once again exhibit its colorful beauty for the world to admire.

With a sigh, she returned the book to its shelf and Hannah sat up in her chair.

“I must say,” Hannah said indignantly, “this book on warfare is scary. It astounds me the lengths to which these barbaric men will go in the name of conquest.”

Lucy smiled. “Always remember that men are barbaric in everything they do, with no exceptions. It is because of us women that they show any signs of civility at all.”

Hannah laughed. “Would that include His Grace, do you think?” she asked, a mischievous grin on her face.

Lucy let out a laugh, as well. She was glad for the friendship that had developed between her and Hannah. They shared in many secrets during both bright and rainy days, and Lucy valued the time they spent together. She had no other friends with whom to confide, and Hannah had proven to be a great secret-keeper.

“Yes, it would include him,” she replied firmly. “Though it pains me to admit, he is not as horrible as most men.” She retook her seat just as Mason entered and gave a deep bow, a small silver tray in one hand.

“Yes, Mason?” Lucy asked of the butler.

“Forgive me for interrupting, Your Grace, but His Grace has requested the presence of Miss Hannah in his study, and you have received a letter.” He bowed before her, the tray extended to her.

“Thank you,” she said as she removed the letter and smiled. “It is from my sister,” she said in a shocked tone. “I am so happy to finally hear from her.”

Hannah stood. “I will go see His Grace,” she said, and Lucy waved her off without looking up at the woman.

She opened the letter, excited to finally hear word from her sister.

 

My dearest sister Lucy,

 

I was so pleased to hear you had woken after your accident. I am so sorry I have been unable to come to visit, and with the new baby, traveling has been out of the question. Mother said that she told you about Peter, my son, and I am quite pleased to tell you that I now have a daughter who we have named Laura. She is very beautiful, but I may be a bit biased in my assessment of her. Her hair is the same color as yours, but she has Mother’s eyes.

 

Peter has just passed first year and is has the run of the house! All he must do is shed a few tears and someone will come running to his aid. I do worry he will become spoiled before we know it, but for the time being, we’re enjoying him immensely.

 

I hope to visit someday soon, but I cannot make any promises with winter just around the corner. However, I do promise to write more often and share with you how your niece and nephew are doing. James has been a dear and a very proud father. I am so happy to be married to such a caring man. I hope and pray that you, too, are happy in your marriage and that you are recovering well from the complications of your accident.

 

With all my love,

Your loving sister Mary

 

Lucy set the letter on her writing desk and sighed. It was nice hearing from Mary after all this time; somehow, she had felt alienated from her family, but this had raised her spirits tremendously.

Footsteps resounded in the hallway outside the library door and Mr. Langley, the man with whom Andrew had his last meeting for the day, walked by. Yet, where was Hannah?

Curiosity got the better of her and Lucy headed out of the library and down the hallway to the study. As she approached the partially opened door, she heard Hannah’s laugh, and Lucy felt her heart pound in her chest. That laugh had been much too intimate in Lucy’s opinion.

She peeked through the small opening of the door and her eyes widened in shock, for standing before the fireplace were Hannah and Andrew standing much too closely together as far as Lucy was concerned. From Andrew’s fingers hung a gold necklace, the firelight reflecting from its bright surface.

“What do you think?” Andrew asked with a smile.

“Oh, it is lovely,” Hannah replied with glee. “It is a sight for any eye.”

Lucy clenched her fist and turned away from the hideous sight. So, her husband and her friend had betrayed her, she thought as she made her way to her bedroom. Hot tears streamed down her face. She might not remember much of what had happened in the recent past, but she did remember the rumors about Andrew and another woman. What she had seen just now confirmed her worst fears and she slammed the door behind her before throwing herself onto her bed and weeping. How dare he humiliate her in such a fashion? And as for Hannah, she would be dismissed before the end of the next day, she would be sure of that.

A knock came to the door, and Lucy sat up and dried her tears. She was no damsel in distress; she had to be smart about how to handle this situation. A woman of her position had few rights, but she would do what she could to gain control before she had none.

“Enter,” she called out and Hannah opened the door, a smile that Lucy wished she could slap off the woman’s face. However, as she looked at Hannah’s beautiful blue dress, Lucy knew there would be a much better way to hurt the woman.

“I looked for you in the library…” Hannah started to say until Lucy interrupted.

“I will no longer be in need of your services,” Lucy said firmly.

Hannah gazed at her in shock. “Lucy?” she gasped. “I don’t understand!”

“I am Your Grace to you,” Lucy spat, “and do not make me have to remind you again. You will go change into one of your old dresses and leave all that has been purchased for your position behind. I want you out of my house before dinner is served this evening.”

Hannah began to cry. “But Lu…Your Grace” she cried. “Please, let me apologize for whatever it is I have done wrong! Please tell me so I can fix it.”

“You gave me your word you would tell me everything,” Lucy said through clenched teeth. “You lied. Now, out of my room, and my house!” Then she sat on the stool in front of the mirror and turned her back on her now former companion.

Lucy watched Hannah’s reflection in the mirror nod before she turned and closed the door behind her. When the woman was gone, Lucy returned to her bed and, laying down, let the tears return.

***

The sound of a hard knock on the door awoke Lucy from a fitful sleep and sent her heart racing as her eyes flew open. Before she could invite the person to enter, Andrew opened the door and walked into the room, his steps quick and steady.

Lucy sat up in bed and straightened her back, ready for the barrage that was sure to come.

“Hannah has said that she is leaving us,” Andrew said sternly. “Why have you dismissed her?”

Lucy placed her feet in the slippers next to her bed, picked up a robe, and tied the belt around her waist. “What does it matter?” she said haughtily. “Does it bother you she is leaving?”

He shook his head. “I believe she has done better than satisfactory in her position here,” he replied. “There are few people who I can trust to live in my home, and she certainly has been one of them.”

Lucy gave a derisive sniff. Of course, he trusted the woman; any man would trust a woman he would let into his bed. This thought, however, made her stomach ache as she wondered how for how long this affair had been going, how many times Hannah had crawled into his bed while Lucy slept alone in hers.

“It no longer matters if you trust her,” Lucy said. “However, do not tell me you love me, for what you have done with her could not be done by any man who says he loves his wife.”

As she attempted to stomp past him, he grabbed her arm tightly. “What do you mean, ‘what I have done with her’? He demanded, his eyes narrow and his voice low. The look he gave her was one of hurt and confusion, which made her take pause. Thunder boomed in the distance and the first pelts of rain beat against the window as Lucy pulled her arm from his grasp.

“Very well, if you must know,” she said loftily. “I was outside the door to your study and saw you give her a gift. A gold necklace.” She thought she had shed all the tears possible earlier, but new tears filled her eyes.

“Lucy, I can explain,” Andrew said, though his voice did not sound angry as it had when he entered.

“There is no need to explain,” she replied. “I will remain in this room and you in yours. I only ask that you do not flaunt your women with your fine gifts in the future. At least have a bit of decency to be discrete!”

His laughter only made her anger rage even more. How dare he think this was a humorous moment! However, when he reached into his pocket and pulled out a small box, she could only stare at him in amazement…and shame.

“The necklace you saw was this one,” he said as he opened the box to display the same gold jewelry she had seen him dangling from his fingers in the study. “I had asked Hannah’s opinion for a gift for you, and she mentioned a necklace you had admired at the goldsmith’s. Yesterday, I had purchased it and I wanted to be certain it was the one you wanted.”

Lucy found her head spinning, the anger now gone and replaced by shame and humiliation while her eyes filled once more with tears.

“So, my lovely wife, this is for you.” He extended his hand and she hesitated before taking the box and removing the necklace. It had been the necklace she had admired on one of the excursions she had taken with Hannah, and she could not stem the flow of tears for what she had said and done. She did not deserve such a gift; she was not worthy of such love and admiration.

“I-I am sorry,” she stammered. “My tone toward you…the accusations…” How could she have allowed her imagination to run away from her in such a despicable manner? She looked up into his deep blue eyes and felt her falling into their gaze. “Please forgive me.”

He smiled down at her. “There is nothing to forgive,” he said in a soft voice. “It was simply a misunderstanding, nothing more.”

She nodded and he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into him. She felt protected in that embrace as she wondered how he could possibly forgive her. “My mind returned to when we first courted, the rumors about you. I know you are no longer that man, but I am ashamed to admit I was jealous.”

He let out a loud laugh and she took a step back, though the sound was not one of mocking, but rather of happiness. “That is wonderful!” he exclaimed.

“How can you say that jealousy can be wonderful?” she asked in amazement and confusion.

As he pulled a stray strand of hair from her face, he smiled down at her once again. “For if you are jealous, that means you have some feelings for me, and that makes me happy.”

Lucy wiped at her cheeks. “I wish I could remember more,” she said quietly.

“You will soon,” he replied. “I know it. For now, however, would you care to have dinner with me?”

“Of course, I would love to have dinner with you,” she said, but then stopped short. “But Hannah…I must speak with her, let her know…”

“Come with me,” Andrew said, and he walked with her down to Hannah’s room.

Hannah, who was lovingly hanging a dress in the wardrobe, sighed before spinning around to face them, fear on her face. “I will be gone before dinner, Your Grace,” Hannah said with a shaky voice.

Lucy rushed through the door and pulled Hannah into a quick hug. “I told you before, you are to address me as Lucy.”

“I-I’m afraid I don’t understand,” Hannah stammered into Lucy’s ear.

“Let me explain, my friend,” Lucy replied and she sat her down on the bed and took a seat next to her. Andrew made a discrete exit and left the two women alone.

After explaining the misunderstanding, Lucy searched Hannah’s face for any sign of forgiveness. Although she was a servant, a paid companion, Lucy saw her as so much more. Granted, Hannah could say she forgave her and then returned only to keep her high position in such a noble house, but Lucy knew she would be so much more than a servant.

“There is no easy way to explain what happened earlier,” Lucy said finally, “not one that is dignified anyway. However, I wish you would forgive me and stay on as my companion. You have become an important part of my life, and I would be very sad if you were to leave.”

“Yes, I forgive you,” Hannah replied with a happy smile that belied the tears that ran down her cheeks. “I suppose if it had been me seeing some woman getting such a nice gift from my husband, I’d’ve been pretty angry myself.”

This made Lucy smile and she hugged Hannah again. “Come, dinner is waiting for us downstairs.” She glanced down at Hannah’s dress. “But let me help you change into something more appropriate.” Despite Hannah’s protests, Lucy chose a lavender gown with a dark purple sash under the bodice. She helped Hannah dress and felt humbled at being able to perform such an act for someone else, especially for the woman who typically did so for her.

After Hannah was dressed, Lucy ran a brush through her own hair and they headed down to the dining room. As they took their seats at the laden table, Lucy realized two important things. The first was that Hannah was a great friend and one who could be trusted. As she glanced over at Andrew, she smiled. The second was that, for a handsome man, he could be trusted, as well. And the feeling of relief that washed over her was wonderful.