Pat Robertson Transubstantiation Engine No. 3

We will serve you if you will get us free

from the French. Then we’ll rest

a moment and bask

in all I’ve taken.

I asked: you gave: I snatched

candy from the collection plate and replaced

it with a baby.

My shtick’s like a turkey

stuffed full of kleenex, my feelings

fuzzy as the mold

on the host my licks turn green.

Oh, how the Lord’s light is good

as a fondle

when I catch it for you

in my gums.

Sometimes the little lady and I prefer

to call my pecker The Wishbone.

I don’t know who’s luckier

but all my wishes

work for me.