Pat Robertson Transubstantiation Engine No. 5

I don’t have to be nice

to the spirit of the Antichrist

but oh the sweet caul fat of Falwell

melting on my tongue’s

like a heavenly lozenge

in a blizzard of ash.

Jerry, that’s my feeling. It tastes like loot

in a wallet he sat on

all day, rich

as a tobacco field in heaven.

Jerry, that’s my feeling. We’ll pray

for some miners and their parent

companies, which is where the real

action is, if you know

what I mean. Jerry,

that’s my feeling. Jesus was all for shareholder

value, maximum

returns, and when he comes back

I’ll chain him to a machine that turns

water into oil.