Pat Robertson Transubstantiation Engine No. 6

Mac and cheese for Christmas dinner,

Is that a black thing? Gosh,

the planet’s weirder

every day I’m on it.

One day Jesus will hit us

like a ton of marijuana biscuits

but some of us won’t be around

to see it. I mean, why did you

build houses where

tornadoes were apt to happen?

Sometimes I feel like

a stopped clock, except

one of us

is right twice a day.

I’ll say it again with my mouth

full: I think we’ve just seen

the antechamber to terror.

Open wide.