‘Lily, are you still awake?’
‘Yes, Mam, but don’t wake Denis and Jimmy, they have the legs nearly kicked off me with their fighting.’
She sat down on the edge of the bed, and I could see her thin face in the flickering light of the candle.
‘Lily, I have something to tell you.’
‘What is it?’ I asked as I sat up, suddenly feeling important. I treasured these quiet times when everyone else was asleep, and it was just Mam and me.
‘You won’t be going to school on Monday,’ she said.
‘But I can’t miss school! I want to get a ribbon for attendance this year – and I’ve written a story specially, and I’m going to read it out to the whole class, and …’
‘I’m sorry, pet.’
I felt tears coming to my eyes, but how could I make a fuss about missing one single day? Mam had so much to do and she was always tired. Maybe she needed me to help with the washing, and the vegetable patch and taking care of my two little sisters. Anne could be very bold, and Winnie was sickly, and cried a lot.
‘If you need me to help you on Monday, I don’t mind staying home, Mam,’ I said. ‘Maybe the Master will let me read my story on Tuesday instead, if I tell him what happened. Maybe …’
‘Oh, Lily,’ said Mam. ‘You won’t be going to school on Tuesday either.’
‘But––’
‘You won’t be going to school any more.’
‘But––’
‘You’ll be starting work. It’s all arranged.’
I probably shouldn’t have been surprised. I was the oldest girl in the whole school, and while I dreamed of staying on for another year or two, and one day becoming a teacher myself, at heart I knew that was foolish thinking. Ever since Daddy died, I’d known that my school days would be cut short so I could help Mam to support the family.
Over the past year, I had watched as my friends left school to start work. In the springtime Rose would be moving to Sligo to work in her uncle’s shop. As soon as her aunt sent money for the ticket, Hanora would be leaving for America, where all her big sisters and brothers were. Everything was changing much too fast for me.
‘I know you’d like to stay on at school, pet,’ said Mam. ‘But that’s impossible. This way I won’t have to feed you, and your wages will be such a big help to us.’
I thought about my schoolbag, safely on the highest shelf, away from Anne’s meddling fingers. I thought about my special story, and how much I wanted to read it out for the class. I could feel tears coming again, but how could I cry? How could I complain, when Mam had been raising five of us on her own since Daddy died? How could I complain when she barely slept, and barely ate, and worked all day long, caring for us?
‘Where am I going to work?’ I asked quietly.
‘It’s a good position,’ said Mam. ‘In Lissadell.’
I’d never been to Lissadell, but I knew about it – everyone did. It was the biggest and fanciest house in our part of Sligo.
‘But how did …?’
‘Your Uncle John knows one of the estate workers, and he arranged everything.’
Then I remembered something else. ‘Lissadell is miles away. How will I walk all the way there, and do a day’s work, and then walk home again before dark? Even if I walk my very fastest, that would be impossible.’
‘Ah, pet,’ said Mam. ‘You won’t be coming home at night. You’ll be sleeping there – it’s the only way.’
Now I did start to cry, remembering to be quiet about it so the little ones wouldn’t wake.
‘But I don’t want to go,’ I sobbed. ‘I want to stay here with you, Mam. I can help you in the garden, so we’ll be able to grow more food. I can––’
Mam leaned down and hugged me.
‘It’s how things have to be, Lily,’ she said. ‘You’ll be leaving tomorrow afternoon, so you’ll be ready to start work on Sunday.’
‘But why didn’t you tell me before now?’
‘Maybe I should have, but I wanted you to enjoy your childhood for as long as you could.’
Was Mam saying that now I was an adult? If being an adult meant moving away and living far from everyone I knew, then I’d prefer to be a child forever.
‘It’s not too far away,’ said Mam. ‘And you’ll have every Saturday off, so you’ll be able to come and see us.’
‘I will only see you on Saturdays?’
I’d never been away for even a day before, and the thought of six whole days without my family terrified me.
‘A whole day off is very generous – many houses allow their servants only a half day free. You’re a lucky girl.’
I didn’t feel lucky. I felt as if my life was over. Mam kissed me good-night, and then she took the candle and tiptoed from the room.