115: For the next three days, I thought about kinesics.
I thought about Father.
I thought about Mother.
I thought about what the doctor had told me about the police and the bad place he said I would go.
I listened to the girl cry. In the deepest of night, I listened to her cry.
I pulled within myself and sealed out all the rest.
Her sobs were warm to me, they were her touch, her fingers reaching across the distance of our two rooms as if we were mere inches apart. I imagined her lying in her own bed, able to hear the pitter-patter of my heartbeat, and wanting to listen for it, the only thing to bring her comfort between the hellish thoughts that brought on those cries.
I imagine they came each day to take me to the doctor, but I did not remember these things. The world outside my mind became darkness, a black place, a distant void. As Father taught me, I suppressed time, I swam in it, got lost in the waves.