In which we find out more about the shiny stranger – which is a bit frightening. In fact, I have a very bad feeling about this man and his perfectly clean clothes and his glistening teeth.
Later that day, the stranger was walking towards the village of Pandrumdroochit, a few miles north of the llama farm. He was hitting the hedges and bushes with a branch he had found so that he could scare away any animals and birds. He didn’t like animals and birds.
The stranger had silky hair that lay very flat on his head, almost as if it were paint and not hair at all, and he had glittery dark purple eyes and a crimson waistcoat, a spotless white jacket and spotless white trousers. His shoes were so shiny it would hurt you to look at them (which is why he kept them like that). While he walked, he smiled a smile that was the size of a polished bathroom sink.
When he saw a small boy called Hughie bouncy-space-walking about with a cardboard box on his head, the stranger’s teeth seemed to get even bigger, and you could hear a sort of skreeee skreeee noise as they ground against each other.
“What are you doing, horrible boy?” said the stranger.
Hughie looked up at the man through the hole he had cut in the front of the box. “I am a spaceman. I am on the planet Floop and I am wearing my space helmet.” Hughie was surprised that the man couldn’t have worked this out for himself.
The stranger made a note in his book. “The last horrible small boy I met who thought he was a spaceman is now a patient in my Institution for Maximum Security and Unusualness Curing.”
“Oh, that wouldn’t suit me.” said Hughie. “I’m a very busy spaceman and Mum says I never have any patients.”
“She means patience,” said the stranger.
“Yes. Patients,” said Hughie. And he began to bouncy-space-walk up the road as fast as he could, waving his arms to keep away space goblins. 