OWEN LEFT WORK early, picked up a six-pack of beer, and headed over to Brody’s place to see if he could get a read on what Brody really planned for the rest of his life. He hoped to work children into the conversation, and see if he could gage Brody’s desire to have a family. Wanting a relationship with Rain again was a good sign his wild-at-heart brother was ready for a quieter life, but kids might not be in his plans. If that was the case, Owen wanted to give Rain a heads-up before she introduced Brody to the girls and they received a bad reaction from Brody.
He rounded the bend and spotted Brody’s truck half in a ditch. The tires screeched to a halt behind the truck. He jumped out on the run, hoping Brody wasn’t hurt. The blood on the window frightened him. He pulled open the door and found Brody passed out, leaning heavily to the right. The seatbelt held him upright just enough to make him look really uncomfortable. Blood trickled from a small gash next to his eye and ran over his face, dripping onto his shirt.
“Man, are you all right?” Owen gave him a shake and pulled him upright. “Brody.” To his relief, Brody started coming around. He pressed both hands to his eyes and forehead before looking around confused.
“Brody, you had an accident. Are you okay?”
“Owen?”
“What happened?”
“I got caught under fire. Hit my head.”
Owen grabbed Brody’s face and made him look at him. “Brody, man, you’re in Colorado. You’ve been in an accident. It’s me, Owen.”
“I know who the fuck you are, asshole,” Brody yelled. “My head is pounding.” He closed his eyes against the pain. “I need my meds,” he whispered.
Owen got the picture. Brody hadn’t taken his medicine, and he was suffering some kind of anxiety attack. “Okay, man. Let’s get into my truck, and I’ll take you up to the cabin.”
Brody slithered out of the driver’s seat. The truck sat at an odd angle, pitched in the ditch, and Brody had to jump down further than usual. Unsteady, Owen grabbed his arm to keep him upright. “You got it.”
“I’m fine,” Brody snapped and pressed the heel of his hand to his head. He squinted his eyes and opened them again.
“Yeah, you look it.” Owen nudged him toward his truck, sticking close to make sure Brody didn’t take a nosedive into the ditch himself. “Come on, let’s get your meds.”
“Grab the groceries. They’ll spoil if you leave them in the truck.”
Owen wanted to make a smartass remark, but Brody wasn’t in the mood to joke. Pale, sweat beading across his forehead and trickling down the side of his face, the shaking hands got to Owen the most. His strong, kick-ass-and-take-names brother needed help. Owen had no problem putting whatever animosity they’d held on to over the years in the past.
Stowing the groceries and whatever other bags he could fit into his truck, he jumped in and took off for the cabin. Brody sat quietly with his hand braced on his forehead, elbow propped on the door.
Neither spoke until they reached the cabin. A large delivery truck sat parked out front. Two men wheeled the old washer and dryer out of the cabin and up into the back.
“Damn, Brody. You smashed your truck and now they’re repo-ing your shit.” He made sure to look properly appalled.
Brody turned slowly, looking pissed off and mean. “Seriously?”
Owen busted up laughing. After a moment, the corner of Brody’s mouth tilted up in half a smile. Satisfied Brody was starting to relax, Owen got out of the truck and hauled in the groceries, leaving Brody to follow at his own slow pace. He limped heavily on his left leg.
Owen dumped several bags of groceries in the kitchen next to the brand new stainless steel refrigerator. The cupboard held two intact glasses. Rinsing one out, Owen filled and left it on the table by the bottles of pills, and headed out to bring the rest of the bags in. Brody eased up the steps, his skin a sickly shade of green.
Owen stood among the weeds, pulled out his cell, and called Eli.
“Hey, it’s Owen. Can you come out to the cabin? Brody had an accident. His truck is in the ditch on the road just before the driveway.”
“Anyone hurt?” Eli asked, concern laced in his deep voice.
“Brody’s a little worse for wear, but that has more to do with being a soldier than the accident.”
“How bad is the truck?”
“The front right tire is blown, not sure about the rim. I think the radiator is busted. Other than that, I didn’t really have time to check it out.”
“Okay. I’m on my way. We’ll get it fixed up tomorrow.”
“Thanks, Eli. I know he’s not your favorite person . . .”
“If he’ll be driving my granddaughters around, he’ll need a safe, reliable truck,” Eli answered without giving his opinion on Brody.
“I’ll see you soon.”
Eli hung up without a goodbye. Owen wasn’t sure how Eli felt about the accident, his only expressed concern for Dawn and Autumn. Owen had to admit, he was worried about Brody’s condition and whether or not he’d be able to take care of the girls on his own. He’d get that answer before he left tonight. Brody might not want to talk about his messed up head, but he would, even if Owen had to tell him about the girls.
Owen entered the cabin loaded down with bags. He put away the groceries. The refrigerator wasn’t quite cold enough, so he left the perishables in the ice filled cooler Brody had packed them in. Brody sat at the table, his head down, a wet cloth pressed to the cut on the side of his head.
“Listen, Owen, I . . .”
“Go up and take a shower. I’ll take care of things down here,” he interrupted. The delivery guys hooked up the new washer and dryer in the mudroom off the kitchen. He noted the other delivery truck pulling up outside and cocked his head in their direction. “I’ll take care of that, you get cleaned up.”
Brody hesitated, so Owen pushed. “Give the meds some time to work.”
“They’re supposed to haul away the old couch, the kitchen table and chairs, and mattresses upstairs.”
“No problem. Go,” Owen ordered, knowing full well the stairs alone would be tough for Brody to manage. Brody didn’t need an audience as he hobbled up one step at a time, the pain etching lines around his eyes.
BRODY SUCKED IT up and went upstairs without a word. Owen directed the guys downstairs on what to do. He took a minute to strip the bed, sending the old sheets over the banister to join the pile of debris below. He’d meant to spend today getting the cabin livable. He’d have to settle for getting the shopping done. Over the last few months, he’d learned some days you had to accept the little victories. He wasn’t dead. He didn’t crash his truck into another vehicle, or hit someone walking on the road.
Owen was a lawyer, but he didn’t ask a hundred questions. In fact, he’d remained calm about the whole damn thing. Brody was grateful for that. Pulling his dirty, sweat-soaked shirt off over his head, he stepped into the bathroom wondering if Owen would call Rain and tell her to stay clear of him. Might be best for her, but it’d be the end of him.
He kicked off his boots, pulled off his socks and jeans, and stepped into the shower’s stream. The heat worked its way into his body, numbing his mind to just the sound of the water beating on his head, drumming out the war and the tension.
By the time he stepped out, Owen had left him a cold soda and a new towel sitting on the counter beside the sink. The towel was one of those extra big ones, thick and soft, unlike the thin, threadbare ones that survived the years and party squatters.
It pleased Brody to see the new plastic-covered mattress on the old bed. It wasn’t hard to imagine Rain stretched out, her fingers wrapped around the wrought-iron headboard, sunlight pouring through the window, highlighting her beautiful golden skin as he drove himself into her again and again. Now, that was a daydream he could sink into and get lost in.
The place still smelled like stale beer, dust, and some musty smell that just seemed to hang in the air. His brother must have had a hard time dealing with the smell, too. The front door and all the windows on the first floor stood wide open, a soft breeze working its way into the rooms, billowing the cobwebs strewn across the corners and ceiling. He wished it was that easy to clear out his muddled mind.
“You look almost human again.”
Brody stepped off the last stair, his leg supporting his weight a lot better after the hot shower and pain-numbing meds. “Getting there. Listen, Owen . . .”
“The washer and dryer are hooked up. I tossed in the rest of the new towels and sheets to get the stiffness out. That washer is so big, you could wash a cow in there.” Owen continued to stir the pot of canned chili on the stove with his back to Brody. “Put the groceries up for you. The fridge is cold enough now, so I left the cooler out back to dry out. I have to say, man, the place looks better with the new leather couch and table and chairs. Nice flat screen. The other furniture should clean up well enough. All you need is a cleaning crew to come in here and disinfect the joint, and you’ll be good to go.”
“Someone will be here first thing tomorrow.” Brody took a seat at his new table, watching Owen ignore the elephant in the room. He looked around the kitchen, noted his new coffee pot was set up, coffee can sitting beside it, along with his bottles of pills. Owen had taken the time to wipe down the counters.
Brody scrubbed his hands over his face, noting the scratch of his beard, vowing to shave tomorrow morning before he went in search of Rain. He let out a gust of air in frustration.
“Don’t you want to talk about my truck and what happened?”
“Sure. Eli came and took the truck to his garage. You’ve got a blown tire, cracked radiator hose, busted oil pan, and maybe some other minor damage. He’ll fix it up, probably charge you double for the labor, since he thinks you’re a prick for dumping his daughter the way you did, and all should be right with the truck day after next.”
Owen dumped canned chili into two new bowls. The party people had used the old ones for skeet shooting and target practice in the backyard. Thankfully, their grandmother’s silverware was still in the drawer. Owen grabbed a couple of spoons, shoved them into the thick mix, and set the bowls on the table with a thump before grabbing the cornbread out of the oven. “He hopes you’ll be a hundred percent when you come to get the truck . . . so he can kill you,” Owen finished around a bite of chili.
Brody stared at Owen enjoying his meal like he didn’t have a care in the world. Like Brody hadn’t lost his mind.
“You should eat something. Taking those pills on an empty stomach isn’t a good idea.”
“About what happened . . .”
“Brody. Man. Eat. Relax. Take a breath and let it out.”
Brody took a bite and his stomach came to life, his hunger grew, so he sat companionably with his brother and ate and breathed. It took a minute for the quiet to sink in before Brody looked around and realized the delivery men were gone, his home was improved if not yet comfortable and clean, and this was the first time he’d sat down to a meal with Owen since they were fresh out of high school. Most nights, it had been he and Owen eating something out of a can, the old man either passed out on the couch or down at Roxy’s tying one on. As much as he hated the old man for his drinking and temper, Brody had to admit there had always been something to eat in the house. Maybe not a real, healthy meal, but something. He guessed there were a lot of people out there who couldn’t claim the same. Hell, he’d seen enough poverty and hunger in the faces of some of the smaller villages he’d been through during his tours of duty.
Sliding his empty bowl away, Brody caught Owen watching him, his eyes filled with concern. “I have flashbacks. The shrinks say it’s post-traumatic stress disorder. I can’t control it. They say it will take time to get accustomed to being back. Too much time in a war zone on the front lines, or some such shit.”
“So, you’re pissed because all the killing and dying left a mark on you?”
“I can live with the scars on my body. I look at them and remember how I got them and let them go. It’s no big deal. This is different. I lived through the war once, I don’t need to relive it again and again. The pain from the wounds to my body are part of healing what happened and moving on. The flashbacks bring everything back. It’s a pain in the ass, and yes, it pisses me off. I just want it to be over. I hoped I could come back, see the old place, see you, be with Rain and it would all go away. Change my focus, change my mindset, and live a normal life again.”
“You’ve spent the last six years at war, and you expect to just turn off those instincts and feelings and what, be a rancher?”
Brody smiled. “I’m not a rancher. Though I do plan on building a new barn and getting a few horses. I own a majority of a company. I can do the work from here,” he added, because that’s exactly what he wanted to do. Unless it turned out Rain lived somewhere else and didn’t want to move back to Fallbrook and live with him on Clear Water Ranch. Actually, the more he thought about those horses he wanted, the more he thought he could make a decent living breeding and selling them.
First things first, he needed to find Rain and get her back.
“As for the flashbacks, can’t turn them off. They just happen. The meds help. I left this morning on a mission, and forgot to take the pills with me. I have triggers, things that set me off. Noise, crowds, constantly being on alert, looking for snipers and threats.”
Does Owen think I’m as crazy as I sound?
“I know they aren’t there, but it’s a habit that’s hard to break. It becomes a part of who you are, that constant intense alertness to everything around you.”
“I get it,” Owen said simply. “I’ve seen news reports about the troops coming home. They need help, and the government, in its slow, inefficient way, is trying to provide the medical and psychological care the soldiers require after what they’ve been through in Iraq and Afghanistan. So relax, Brody. I don’t think you’re crazy. I think you’re a hero, who deserves whatever time it takes to adjust and settle.”
Brody shifted uncomfortably at the term hero. Hard to think anything he’d done was heroic. Sure, he saw the big picture and understood many of the people in Iraq were better off. The details of how that was accomplished didn’t strike him as heroic, not when a lot of innocent blood had been spilled, and friends and comrades died.
“I’d appreciate it if you didn’t tell Rain what happened today.” Brody knew full well Owen would tell her.
“Small towns, man,” Owen retorted.
“Great. The bastard who left her after sleeping with the town slut comes home off his rocker with a patchwork of scars and a cabin that looks like a garbage dump. Why wouldn’t she give me the time of day?”
“I think you’ve got a shot at a relationship with her. It might not be the way you want it, or for the reasons you think, but Rain is a good woman with a big heart.”
“What the hell does any of that mean?”
“You’ll see.”
Growling with frustration, Brody asked, “Is she in town? Did you see her today?”
“I talked to her,” Owen evaded, pissing Brody off even more. “I told her you were back.”
“What’d she say?”
“She wanted to know why.”
“What’d you tell her?”
“That you’re looking for her.”
“What did she say to that?” Brody asked through his teeth. Pretty soon, he’d beat the answers out of Owen, until he talked faster than Brody’s fists hit him.
“Not much.”
Brody made a move to go after Owen, but Owen conceded by holding up a hand and smirking like an idiot. “Okay. She wanted to know why you came home now. She knows you were in the military and got hurt. I kept her up to date on your condition and progress through rehab.”
“She knows about the burns and shrapnel.” Brody turned his head away. Never far from his mind, he knew one day, if he was lucky enough to win Rain’s heart again, she’d see the damage to his leg. He could walk fine, his jeans covered most of the damage to his hip, but in bed, she’d know. She’d see the gnarled, discolored skin and the scars from surgery and shrapnel tearing up his flesh.
“She knows about the gunshot wound, every time you got stitched up for one thing or another, everything.”
“How the hell did you find all of this out? I never called you. I never told you I was in the military.”
“I was wondering when you’d ask me about that,” Owen said, stalling for time. “I left town about six months ahead of you.”
“You went off to college and left me here to deal with the old man.” Brody didn’t hide his anger.
Owen felt that same anger every time he’d had to take care of something the old man fell short doing for himself, for Brody, for him. Owen didn’t have a choice but to leave. At the time, it’d been a matter of survival. Brody hadn’t hit that mark. No, it took him another six months to reach his rock bottom and see that walking the same path as their father would only lead them down a broken road of misery.
“Your choice,” Owen countered. “You could have gone to college yourself.”
“I was never interested in school. Got the grades I needed to pass without looking like an idiot.”
“Don’t pull that shit with me, Brody. You were a good student without using even half of your brain cells. You got straight As on all the college courses you took through correspondence and online while you were in the military.”
“How the hell do you know that?” Brody snapped. He couldn’t believe the kind of information Owen gathered without so much as a phone call from him. “Did you hire some private detective to ferret out all my secrets?”
“Didn’t have to. I went to law school with a guy whose father is a major general. He connected me with your captain. I spoke with him once a month for the last six years.”
“Are you shitting me?”
“Do you really think you can be hospitalized in the military and they won’t contact your next of kin, no matter how much you protest and tell them not to? That’s bullshit, Brody. And a hell of a thing to do to your only brother. I don’t care how pissed you are at me for leaving. You had no right to leave without a word, and then not call when you were wounded in action. Not the first time, or the tenth.”
Owen took a deep swallow of soda, let his anger simmer, and sat back heavily in his chair. Circling his finger over the wood table, he spoke softly, “I came to the hospital in Georgia. You were unconscious, and I sat with you for a few hours. You didn’t want me there, so I made sure I was gone when you woke up. I stayed for a couple of days and made sure you received the care you needed.”
Brody felt like shit. One afternoon, he’d woken up with Owen’s name sputtering across his lips. He could have sworn he’d heard Owen talking to him. Awake, all he found was a nurse checking his blood pressure. She’d said the oddest thing at the time about calling his brother back. He’d thought she’d meant to call him on the phone. Now, he knew. Owen had been there.
Rain hadn’t been far from his mind in those first few days of waking up in constant pain, disoriented and miserable. He’d hallucinated about her many times. It was too much to hope those ghostly images and imagined whispers were truly Rain standing beside him, ordering him to fight.
“I didn’t know.” He was afraid to ask if those hallucinations of Rain were real. He’d already shown Owen an up-close-and-personal view of how screwed up his head was. He didn’t need to give him any more ammo to use against him with Rain.
“You wanted your own life, to stand on your own two feet. I know how that feels, because I left this place determined to be my own man and not the son of John McBride. When I came back to practice law, I did it on my terms. I knew when I’d changed enough, accepted the past for what it was, and moved on to being who I wanted to be. I guess you just needed a little longer.”
“You didn’t do half bad working for that fancy Washington law firm,” Brody tossed out to let Owen know he wasn’t the only one who’d done some snooping.
“Yeah, I made some money, but I wanted something more in my life. I like small-town living. I like practicing law here, and I still make a better than decent living.”
“All you need is a woman.”
“Yeah, well, I’ve been busy with your woman,” Owen said. “If we’re revealing all, let’s not overlook the fact the little company you own majority share in is worth multimillions and you hold the patent on some very hot commodities.”
“Damn, you do know a thing or two.”
“I’m a lawyer. Digging up information is my business.” Owen gave Brody a discerning look. “How come you know about me, but you didn’t look up Rain?”
“You don’t miss anything, Counselor.”
“Not much. Spill it.”
“I did enough damage when I left is the lame answer. I was tied to the military by contract is just another excuse.”
“You were afraid she’d turn you down flat,” Owen guessed.
“Absolutely. If I wanted even a slim chance of getting her back, I’d have to do it in person.”
“It’s hard to hang up on a live person all right.”
Brody took a deep breath and let out the real reason he’d waited so long. “I didn’t want to come home empty handed. She planned to leave for college, would have an education and a great job under her belt. I didn’t want to be the dumb hick she loved but had to support, like the old man was to my mother.”
“Brody, that was your mother’s choice. She knew exactly what the old man was like before she married him. Marrying him didn’t make him a different man. He was the same one she’d fallen in love with, for better or worse.”
“Seems to me she only got the worse,” Brody said sadly.
“She got the better in you. She loved you, Brody. And me,” Owen said in all honesty.
“Where’s your mom these days?” Brody asked.
“Married to a podiatrist in Florida. Says she can wear heels all day long because the guy’s got magic hands.” Owen rolled his eyes to the ceiling, his mouth set in a grim line. “I do not even want to know what she means by that,” he said miserably.
Brody laughed. “Sounds just like Sharon. So, you see why I didn’t want to come back, find Rain, and offer her nothing but my disability check from the military?”
“I get it. But there’s something you didn’t take into account. Rain.” Owen stood and took both bowls to the sink and set them inside with a distinct thud. When he turned around, he leaned back against the counter and crossed his arms over his chest. “She didn’t go to college. In fact, she never left town. She’s been here the whole time.”
“What?” Brody burst out, surprised and confused. “She had her scholarship all lined up. She had the money from her grandparents’ and her mother’s estates. Eli saved every extra penny he could get his hands on. She was supposed to leave for San Francisco.”
“She didn’t. Couldn’t, really.”
“What does that mean? Did something happen to Rain?”
“You did,” Owen said in all seriousness. “Things happen, Brody. Life happens. She did the best she could. She tried to find you after you left. Chased you down across three states before she lost you in Arizona. After that, she gave up. You made it perfectly clear by your constant wandering you didn’t want to be found.”
“Why did she try to find me?”
“You’ll have to ask her. The rest of the story is hers to tell. I can only tell you that you don’t have to worry about trying to find her, or that she won’t want to talk to you. She does. She’ll be expecting you when you’re ready to go and see her. I suggest you get this place in order, take another day or two to settle in and get some rest.”
Ignoring Owen’s suggestion to wait a couple of days, Brody asked a simple question and hoped Owen gave him a straight answer for once. “You’ve seen Rain, talked to her over the last few years you’ve been back. Do you think there’s a chance she could love me again?”
Owen laughed. “She’s more likely to lop off your head for what you did to her.”
Brody let out a defeated sigh, his shoulders slumped.
“I’m kidding. You’ve got a shot. She left a window open, even if she did slam the door in your face.”
It was too much to hope for, so Brody took in those words and buried them with the rest of his dreams. “What would you do if you were me and you wanted her back?”
“I’d go to her knowing I was the one in the wrong. I’d remember she tried to find me once. As much as you want to explain your side to her, remember she has a side, too. There’s a reason she never left town. You have everything to do with that reason.” Grabbing his keys from the counter, Owen started toward the door. “I’ll leave you to think about that. It might take some time, but I have a feeling everything will work out. If you’re not a bonehead,” Owen added and shut the door between them.
Brody stood and stared out the window. Owen climbed into his truck and headed for the main house just over the rise. When he turned back to the room, he decided Owen might be right about putting his life and house in order before he went to see Rain.
Rain didn’t go to college. She stayed in town because of him. He hated to think he’d hurt her so badly, she refused to take her scholarship and reach for her dream.
But that wasn’t right. Rain wasn’t the kind of woman, even at eighteen, who’d give up so much for something as stupid as her boyfriend leaving her. It was more likely she’d have gone off to San Francisco with a tilt to her head, her chin out, and a fuck-you attitude toward him with every A she earned.
What would make Rain stay? As he settled into bed that night, the new soft mattress at his back, clean sheets cocooning him, his hands clasped behind his head on his down pillow, he had a very bad feeling he’d done something far worse to Rain than he realized.