The room Irena took Lucy to was three times the size of her father’s drawing room. Her mansion was one of the largest in London, taking up a quarter of the block in Hampstead. But Irena had been used to such luxuries. Her childhood home had been large as well.
Lucy sat on a divan, wiping her damp palms on her skirt. Irena had left her to call for tea and sandwiches. She didn’t have an appetite and could barely sit still. Lying to Viola and Polly about having an appointment with Irena had made her nauseous. The sisters weren’t upset and wanted to make future plans for dinner next week, but Irena hadn’t bothered to hide her impatience and dragged Lucy into her carriage. The ride was thankfully silent, although Irena had studied her the entire time.
Irena followed a maid pushing a trolley cart topped with a teapot and dishes with small sandwiches and pastries. The maid curtsied, and Irena waved her away, sitting far too close to Lucy. The maid shut the door, and she stared at the door, deciding whether or not to open it.
“What’s the matter?” Irena poured the tea.
“It’s not proper to have the door closed—”
Irena chortled and set her cup to her lips. “Not proper? We’re old friends. I don’t intend to seduce you.” She smiled against the rim. “Not until we talk things over.”
A sharp ache hammered behind her eyes. She wanted to run home to Dorset, or at the very least to her family.
Irena’s hand came down on hers, and she jerked. She pulled her hand away, but Irena linked their fingers together. She inhaled through her nose to keep her emotions in check. The last time Irena held her hand was in her bed, the same one she shared with her husband. Irena had kissed and touched her in a way that had her moaning her name in satisfaction.
“Please don’t be upset. It’s been hell not having you near.” Irena wiped under her eyes, her diamond wedding band sparkling.
She glanced at her plain gold wedding band. “I’m here, aren’t I? What’s so important you forced me to leave my friends and speak with you privately?”
Irena stopped her sniffling and pouted. “You prefer those nitwit Keyes spinsters to me?” She dropped her palm onto her chest, the swells of her breasts peeking through her fingers.
“Please don’t be cruel. It doesn’t become you.” She dragged her hand out from under Irena’s clasp.
Irena twisted her wedding ring. “You’re right. I should know better. You look well, under the circumstances.”
“Under what circumstances? You mean my reaction to seeing you last night and then today?” She barely held back her discomfort.
“I mean the circumstances surrounding your father. I’m sorry to hear about Geoff’s attack. How is Rue taking it? It must not be good for her and the baby. Why, the emotional toll might cause her to go into birth—”
“Can we not talk about my father or Rue in that way?” She shuddered, her agitation making her head pound even harder. She didn’t want to think about Rue going into early labor. She could barely think as it was, sitting next to Irena after so many years apart.
Irena lifted her cup again, her hand trembling. Tea sloshed over the rim, and she cursed. She set the cup down, and, to Lucy’s chagrin, claimed both her hands.
She tugged, but Irena wouldn’t release her.
“Please, just let me touch you. It will give me the strength I need to apologize.”
“Apologize for what?” she asked, utterly confused.
Irena bit her bottom lip, running the edge of her teeth over the meaty flesh. Lucy knew all too well the texture and taste of those lips. Even now, she longed to pull her down on the cushions and feast on her mouth. She’d nibble on the side of her throat, leaving a mark there to show the world Irena belonged to no one else but her.
She snapped out of her fantasy, wanting to grab something to pat her damp face. She had to be a fool to allow her attraction to Irena rule over her body. A trickle of sweat ran into her cleavage. Her nipples hardened and poked the fabric of her bodice, to her dismay.
Irena peered at Lucy’s chest, her eyes darkening. She cleared her throat and tightened her hands on Lucy’s imprisoned ones. “The reason I visited Dorset after my husband died was to see you to make amends. Every day I was married to Jonas, I thought of you and missed you. It was wrong of me, I know, but I had to put up with his constant pawing and slobbering in our bed.” She averted her eyes and stared ahead. “I wrote you letters, asking for your forgiveness, but never mailed them. I was lost, adrift in the world without you, and I grew even more depressed when I miscarried the second time, and then Jonas died.…” A tear fell from the corner of her eye and landed on her cheek.
Lucy’s eyes stung. “I forgave you, but I wanted to be friends and nothing more. You weren’t fine with it and tricked me into—”
“Into what? Loving you all over again? You’re to blame just as much as I am. When you told me Giles was away for the weekend and invited me to dinner, I accepted in friendship and never meant to spend the night with you as we used to before we both married.”
She closed her eyes, remembering the night Irena came to dinner and what happened afterward. She’d held out the olive branch, so to speak, and invited Irena to dine with her. Irena accepted, and, after one too many glasses of wine, they moved on to kissing and loving one another in front of the fireplace until they ended in her bed and slept in each other’s arms, only to awaken and make love again, and in the days following.
Her eyes shot open when Irena stroked her cheek. The yielding and warm look in Irena’s eyes was almost her undoing. She held back a sob as Irena’s mouth brushed her lips. She rose, knocking the table, trying to keep her distance from this woman who would be her downfall once again.
Irena latched on to Lucy’s wrist. She tried backing away, but the grip was too strong. She twisted around, and Irena jumped up, wrapping her arms around Lucy’s waist.
“Let me go this instant!” She flinched when Irena brushed her cheek.
Irena’s chamomile-scented breath swept over her. “Nothing is stopping us from being together. We’re both free and independent. No one would question our relationship.” Irena pressed her palm on Lucy’s stomach, drawing her back. “I can’t let you go again. I wouldn’t be able to survive it.”
“I-I can’t be with you. I refuse to be your dirty secret like last time.” She dropped her hand on Irena’s to stop her fondling. Irena chuckled and glided her hand lower, cupping her between her legs.
She yelped and shoved Irena away. She darted behind a chair and gulped air, her breathing ragged. Every part of her was as tight as a drum, and she shook with the need to be taken. If she allowed Irena to give her relief, she would hate herself, and the guilt would eat her alive.
“Dear, you’re shaking. Sit down and we can—”
“Don’t call me dear and don’t tell me what to do!” She jabbed her finger at Irena. “I finished obeying your commands the night you announced your engagement to the marquess. I almost broke down at that blasted ball, clueless you meant to betray me because, only hours before, your face was between my thighs!”
“Lucy, what did you expect? I wouldn’t marry? I had to. Jonas spent a good six months courting me. He was rich and titled. If I rejected him, my father would have disowned me.” Irena tapped her fingers on her hips. “I loved you, not Jonas. We could have continued as we were—”
“Continued? Are you mad?” She brushed aside her tears. She wouldn’t weep in front of Irena. She had done so too many times before. Never again. “I wasn’t going to be your mistress or whore while you played the happily married wife. I refused to be at your beck and call when you were bored and needed me to pleasure you in ways your husband couldn’t.”
“So you ran away to your aunt and uncle in Dorset and married some farmer to spite me,” Irena snapped.
“To spite you? You’re still a selfish, spoiled witch. There’s no reason to stay and argue with you. I’m leaving.” She grabbed her shawl off the divan and marched toward the door. Before she turned the knob, Irena dug her fingers in her shoulder and swung her around.
Her head thumped hard on the door, leaving behind a sting. “Let me go before I scream and your servants come running.”
“You wouldn’t do that. Your reputation means far too much to you,” Irena snarled and released her.
She rubbed her scalp and stared at Irena, fear and loathing for this woman severe. “Irena, it’s unhealthy for us to be together. It always ends disastrously. Giles accused me of being unfaithful and playing him false. He assumed I carried on with another man, and when he found the note you left.…” She would never forget the shock and hurt in her husband’s eyes when he called her a faithless whore.
“You made me leave. I would have stayed and taken you in after your husband rejected you.” Irena lifted her hands, and Lucy batted them away. “We could have gone anywhere, seen the continent and lived a life of luxury. Jonas left me well off. I would have given you everything.”
“Enough!” she cried. All she wanted to do was leave.
“Calm down. You’re becoming hysterical, so we won’t talk about our past or what the future holds for us. But we must discuss Colby and how close he is to going to prison for his debt.”
“Why do you care whether or not my brother goes to prison?”
Irena suddenly smiled. “He owes a great deal of money to his creditors. He also gambles heavily at the tables; Pythos is his favorite gaming hell. I’m fond of the boy, and I’m still good friends with your father and Rue and Chase. When Colby admitted his money problem, I loaned him a hefty sum. Now I’ve decided to call it in. If he doesn’t pay me in full with interest by the end of this month, I’ll have him arrested.”
Nauseated, she moved away from the door, sat in a chair, and stared at her lap. When Irena bent in front of her and cupped her cheek, Lucy didn’t push her away. She was numb.
“How much does he owe you?” She looked right at Irena.
“Five thousand pounds.”
She cracked her knuckles. The popping did nothing to soothe her. “He doesn’t have that money. The only one who can sign such a large amount over to him is our father. If my father dies—” The burning behind her eyes intensified. She was riddled with such heartache for her baby brother, whom she had failed to protect.
“There is one way I’ll forgo the loan. You live with me as my companion.”
“For how long?”
“Indefinitely.” Irena drew Lucy in for a hug. “You’ll have your own bedroom, but at night you’ll sleep with me in my bed. You’ll still be able to see your family whenever you want, and we’ll even take trips to Dorset to visit your aunt and uncle. I’ll buy you a new wardrobe, and we can go to the theater and all the best restaurants. The world will be our oyster!”
“You want us to be lovers again,” she said, her voice hollow.
“Yes. I want you naked in my arms and to make you climax and find pleasure and give it in return,” Irena whispered and drew her hand down until her palm landed on Lucy’s breast. She kissed the middle of Lucy’s forehead and traveled down, licking and nipping until she reached Lucy’s mouth, finally stopping to kiss her.
She dug her nails into her palms, refusing to respond even as Irena’s tongue slipped into her mouth and flicked the inside of her cheeks and along her teeth. She cupped Lucy’s breast, molding it.
“Come upstairs with me now, and we can renew our friendship.” Irena sucked Lucy’s upper lip. She started to pull Lucy up from the chair, but she turned her face away and thrust Irena away.
“I won’t lose you again.” Her smile was calculating and cold.
“I need time to think,” she said in return, rubbing her arms.
Irena rolled her eyes and sat on the divan. She ran her fingers across her chest, stopping to circle her nipple protruding against the fabric of her bodice. “You have until Saturday night. I want your answer at the ball I’m hosting. You and your family have been invited like always.”
She clutched her new shawl, holding it to her like a shield. “Please don’t contact me before then. I need time—”
“To think. I heard you the first time,” Irena snapped. She took a bite of a scone. “Hmm.” She brazenly licked her lips then blew her a kiss.”
Her stomach churned, and she covered her mouth to stop from vomiting. She barely nodded her goodbye before she wrenched the door open and ran out.
Before the butler reached the front door, she opened it and darted down the front steps and onto the sidewalk. She hurried around the corner. Finding an empty bench, she sat down, dropped her face into her hands, and cried.