Appendix III

How to Pray Together

Devote yourselves to prayer; stay alert in it with thanksgiving. —Colossians 4:2

Praying together as a couple is a priceless privilege with endless benefits. But to many this is a new idea and could be a little intimidating at first. Many people relegate prayer to standard situations. Church. Meals. Bedtime. Waiting rooms. But we miss daily opportunities to embrace the privilege God has given us to bring every need and concern to Him in immediate prayer . . . together.

As husband and wife, prayer together should not only preclude your days and your decisions, but it should also be your instant refuge at the first hint of fear, doubt, or concern.

• Any crisis should call you to immediate prayer together rather than panic. When you hear of a national disaster, a family emergency, or a friend diagnosed with cancer, take each other by the hand and rush headlong together to the throne of grace.
• Even at the discovery of good news, a united prayer of thanks will honor God for His blessings and deflect any temptation to take credit for it.

Start now, even in situations that are not particularly dire and dangerous, and let prayer become your automatic response for both the big and small of life ahead. At first, you might not know what to say. Don’t let that worry you. The key is to be humble and honest before God by simply admitting what you are going through and then officially asking for His help. Do not try to impress your spouse with sacred sounding words.

Also, take advantage of the Lord’s model prayer, found in Matthew 6:9–13. It is not a mantra to be repeated but a guide to be followed. Jesus didn’t say this is what to pray, but how to pray. It contains as many as six different types of petitions in the space of its few words. You and your spouse can use it for direction as you pour out your hearts to Him.

Your praying can take on many forms:

• Thank Him for the good things He’s done for you that come to mind, and praise Him for how awesome He is.
• Repentantly confess any sins you have committed and seek His merciful forgiveness.
• Pray by asking God specifically for what you need.
• Tell Him that you receive His love for you while also verbally expressing your love back to Him.
• Cry out in desperation for wisdom, strength, and guidance in the great and small decisions that lie before you.
• Surrender to Him and ask Him to change your heart.
• Ask Him to make your marriage something amazing that pleases Him.

Most important, bring yourself to a place where you are willing to say, “May Your will be done.” Then go into the day, alive with expectancy of seeing Him work mightily around you and lovingly through you for His glory!

The next few pages contain some important “locks” and “keys” of prayer—attitudes, lifestyles, and responses that, according to Scripture, will either obstruct your experience of prayer or open it wider than ever before.