Day 23
Love always protects
[Love] always protects. —1 Corinthians 13:7 NIV
No couple gets married as enemies. They tie the knot filled with hopes of a lifetime of love. But the high rate of divorce reveals that after a couple walks down the aisle, they are stepping into a minefield of marital obstacles that can take either of them down. Sadly, every marriage has enemies out there.
That’s why love compels us to be on the alert and guard what is most dear and precious to us, to be willing to step up and fight some battles passionately—those that pertain to protecting our spouse and the strength of our union. Many things could destroy our relationship unless our love puts on armor and picks up a sword to protect its own.
Here, for example, are just a few of the potential attacks you need to be aware of and engaged in, constantly protecting your mate and your marriage. Responsibility, not passivity, is the key to guarding against the following issues . . .
Misplaced priorities. Any good thing has the potential to become a harmful thing if it becomes an all-consuming thing. Friends, hobbies, and work schedules must be kept in balance and in their proper place. You can’t protect your home when you’re rarely there, nor when you’re relationally disconnected. Even your children, while obviously a key priority, should be raised on the foundation of your strong marriage. When parents invert this and prioritize the kids above their marriage, they actually hurt their children in the long run as the marriage is weakened. One of the most commonly heard excuses for divorce is that it’s “best for the children.” But what’s best for the children is seeing their mom and dad demonstrate unconditional love for each other, keep their commitments, work out their differences, forgive and preserve a legacy of endurance.
Unhealthy relationships. Not everyone has the material to be a good friend. Not every man you hunt and fish with speaks wisely when it comes to matters of marriage. Not every woman in your lunch group has a perfect perspective on commitment and priorities. In fact, anyone who undermines your marriage does not deserve the right to whisper in your ear.
Harmful influences. Are you allowing certain habits to poison your home? Technology, television, and the Internet can be productive and enjoyable additions to your life, but they can also invite destructive content into your home and drain away precious, countless hours from your family. Be careful and cautious of anything that could deaden your mind or steal your time.
Sexual temptation. Be on guard at all times from allowing opposite-sex relationships—at work, at the gym, even at church—to draw you emotionally away from the one to whom you’ve already given your heart. Many divorces are now resulting from unguarded use of social networking sites. Staring at smiling pictures of old friends and old flames can hook you emotionally and deceptively lure your heart away from the love of your life and into a danger zone. Any relationship that is drawing your affection away from your spouse has already gone too far. Wisdom says to be extra guarded around those you find most appealing and attractive. They should be kept at a greater emotional distance. Why? Your love is why.
Shame. Everyone deals with some level of inferiority and weakness. And because marriage has a way of exposing it all to you and your mate, you need to protect your wife or husband’s vulnerability by never speaking negatively about them in public. Their secrets are your secrets (unless, of course, these involve destructive behaviors that are putting you, your children, or themselves in grave danger). Generally speaking, love hides the fault of others. It covers their shame.
Parasites. Watch out for parasites. A parasite is anything that latches onto you or your partner and sucks the life out of your marriage. They’re usually in the form of addictions, like gambling, drugs, or pornography. They promise pleasure but grow like a disease and consume more and more of your thoughts, time, and money. They steal away your loyalty and heart from those you love. Marriages rarely survive if parasites are present. If you love your spouse, you must destroy any addiction that has your heart. If you don’t, it will destroy you.
So as a wife, realize you have a role as protector in your marriage. You must guard your heart from being led away through any novels, magazines, and other forms of entertainment that blur your perception of reality and put unfair expectations on your husband. Do your part in helping him feel strong, while avoiding talk-show thinking that lures your attention away from your family. “The wise woman builds her house, but the foolish tears it down with her own hands” (Proverbs 14:1).
And husbands, you are the head of your home. You are the one responsible before God for guarding the gate and standing your ground against anything that would threaten your wife or marriage. This is no small assignment. It requires a heart of courage and a head for preemptive action. Jesus said, “If the head of the house had known at what time of the night the thief was coming, he would have been on the alert and would not have allowed his house to be broken into” (Matthew 24:43). This role is yours. Take it seriously.
TODAY'S DARE
Remove anything that is hindering your relationship, any addiction or influence that is stealing your affections and turning your heart away from your spouse.
____ Check here when you’ve completed today’s dare.
What did you throw out first? Are there others that need to go as well? What do you hope the removal of these things will do for you, your marriage, and your relationship with God?
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