Day 28

Love makes sacrifices

He laid down His life for us. We should also lay down our lives for our brothers. —1 John 3:16 HCSB

Life can be hard. But what we usually mean is that our life can be hard. We’re the first to feel it when we’re the ones being mistreated or inconvenienced. We’re quick to sulk when we’re the ones who feel deprived or unappreciated. When life is difficult for us, we notice.

But too often the only way we notice that life is hard for our mate is when they start complaining about it. Then instead of genuinely caring or rushing in to help, we might think they just have a bad attitude. The pain and pressure they’re under don’t register with us nearly the same way as our pain and pressure. When we want to complain, we expect everyone to understand and feel sorry for us.

This doesn’t happen when love is at work. Love doesn’t have to be jarred awake by your mate’s obvious signs of distress. Before worries and troubles have begun to bury them, love has already gone into action mode. It sees the weight beginning to pile up and it steps in to help. That’s because love invites you to be sensitive to your spouse.

Love makes sacrifices. It keeps you so tuned in to what your spouse needs that you often respond without being asked. And when you don’t notice ahead of time and must be told what’s happening, love responds to the heart of the problem. Quickly and directly.

Even when your mate’s stress comes out in words of personal accusation, love shows compassion rather than becoming defensive. Love can look beyond a complaint and see a hurting person with an unmet need crying out for help. Love will then give strategically to meet that need. Instead of sitting around upset that they’re not treating you the way you think they should, let love pick you up out of your self-pity and turn your attention toward discovering and meeting their hidden needs.

That’s what Jesus did. “He laid down His life for us” to show us that “we should also lay down our lives” for others (1 John 3:16 HCSB). He taught us that the evidence of love is found in seeing a need in others, then doing all we can to satisfy it. “For I was hungry, and you gave Me something to eat; I was thirsty, and you gave Me something to drink; I was a stranger, and you invited Me in; naked, and you clothed Me; I was sick, and you visited Me; I was in prison, and you came to Me” (Matthew 25:35–36).

These are the types of needs you should be looking for in your wife or husband:

Love is willing to make sacrifices to see that the needs of your spouse are given your very best effort and focus. When your mate is overwhelmed and under the gun, love calls you to set aside what seems so essential in your own life to help rescue them, even if it’s merely the gift of a listening ear.

Often all they really need is just to talk their situation out. They need to see in your two attentive eyes that you truly care about what this is costing them, and you’re serious about helping them seek answers. They need you to pray with them about what to do, and then keep following up to see how it’s going.

The words “How are you doing?” and “How can I help you?” need to stay fresh on your lips.

The solutions may be simple and easy for you to handle, or they may be complex and expensive, requiring time, energy, and great effort. Either way, God will give you unique insights into the pressure your mate is under and unique abilities to step in and greatly reduce their level of stress. “Bear one another’s burdens, and thereby fulfill the law of Christ” (Galatians 6:2). Jesus willingly took our problems on Himself. And He extends us daily grace to empower us to do it for others.

When the New Testament believers began to walk in love, their lives together were marked by sharing and sacrifice. Their heartbeat was to worship the Lord and to serve His people. “All those who had believed were together and had all things in common; and they began selling their property and possessions and were sharing them with all, as anyone might have need” (Acts 2:44–45). As Paul said to one of these churches in a later decade, “I will most gladly spend and be expended for your souls” (2 Corinthians 12:15). Lives that have been raised from death by Jesus’ great sacrifice should be ready and willing to make small, daily sacrifices for those within our reach and in need of our love.

TODAY'S DARE

What is one of the greatest needs in your spouse’s life right now? Is there a need you could lift from their shoulders today by a daring act of sacrifice on your part? Whether the need is big or small, purpose to do what you can to meet the need.

____ Check here when you’ve completed today’s dare.

How much of your mate’s stress is caused by your lack of concern or initiative? When you expressed a desire to help, how did they receive it? Are there other needs you could meet?

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