Day 32
Love meets sexual needs
The husband must fulfill his duty to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband. —1 Corinthians 7:3
In marriage, romance is meant to thrive and vibrantly flourish. Both the Old and New Testaments commend the beauty of sexual love within the context of matrimony.
The Song of Solomon, for example, though frequently misunderstood as nothing more than an allegory about God’s passion for His people, is also a beautiful love story. It describes sexual acts between a husband and wife in beautiful, poetic detail, showing us how each spouse can passionately love and cherish the other in their romantic relationship.
In some of his other writings, Solomon said, “Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice with the wife of your youth. As a loving deer and a graceful doe, let her breasts satisfy you at all times; and always be enraptured with her love” (Proverbs 5:18–19 NKJV). Words like these—“blessed,” “rejoice,” “satisfy,” “enraptured”—vividly remind us that sexual intimacy is one of God’s greatest wedding gifts, to be fully enjoyed on a consistent basis as husband and wife.
It is all part of celebrating what God has so graciously given to us in each other—the purity of being “naked and unashamed” (Genesis 2:25) within the covenant of our lifelong commitment. Through the pleasure of physical intimacy, we experience a strengthening of our relational, emotional, and spiritual intimacy as well. Faithful love transitions into overwhelming joy, resulting in a deep, abiding peace that no other sexual relationship outside of marriage can ever produce. As part of our married union, sex has no cost, no guilt, and no regrets.
This is why God approves of only one sexual relationship—one man and one woman who are married to one another—and why He has placed around it such loving, protective boundaries. By proclaiming that “marriage is to be held in honor among all, and the marriage bed is to be undefiled” (Hebrews 13:4), God provides us with the only way to protect our moral purity (1 Corinthians 7:1–2), protect our bodies physically (1 Corinthians 6:18), honor our spouse faithfully (Exodus 20:14), and keep our sexual experiences glorifying to Him (1 Corinthians 6:19). He is not limiting our enjoyment but protecting it . . . and us.
But we are weak. Affected by our past. Deceived by our culture. Tempted by unholy desires. Some Christians secretly view sex in their marriages as dirty or shameful. Some are haunted and weighed down by memories of immorality and adultery in their past. Some have given in to the destructive undertow of pornography, fueling their lusts with man-made, sinful alternatives to the pure, unpolluted, replenishing experience God designed our sexual oneness to be. As a result, many husbands and wives have grown distant from each other, allowing staleness to set in, pushing each other away, withholding something precious that rightly and exclusively belongs to their spouse.
God established marriage with a “one flesh” mentality (Genesis 2:24). “The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; and likewise also the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does” (1 Corinthians 7:4). You are “one” and belong to each other. You are the sole person on the face of the earth called and designated by God to meet your spouse’s sexual needs.
So “stop depriving one another,” the Bible warns, “except by agreement for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer, and come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control” (1 Corinthians 7:5). If your spouse comes knocking and requesting physical intimacy, your love should open the door and welcome them in. Sex (or the withholding of it) is not to be used as a weapon or bargaining chip. The heart of marriage is one of giving ourselves to each other to meet the other’s needs.
“You have been bought with a price” (1 Corinthians 6:20). God set His affections on you and has gone to every length to draw you into desiring Him. Now it’s your turn to pay the loving price to win the heart of your mate. Sex is one God-given opportunity to practice what the Love Dare entails.
But in reality, it is even more than that.
The greatest celebration of all time will occur when those who know and love Jesus Christ enter heaven to be with Him forever. It will be the consummation of our covenant of salvation, when the Bride of Christ, the Church, will finally be with her beloved Bridegroom (Ephesians 5:21–32). Though heaven is not described as being sexual, God gives us a small taste of heavenly joy through the regular physical consummation of the covenant between a husband and wife. The temporary joy we feel during sexual climax should cause us to worship God with hope and anticipation of the greater and purer joys that will forever be ours in heaven.
So each time you consummate your sacred relationship as husband and wife, remember that your union is a celebration of your marital intimacy, the grand finale of your mutual love. Even more importantly, it is for the beautiful glory of your holy God. Worship Him with your oneness for what He’s done and for the eternal joy that’s soon to come!
TODAY'S DARE
If at all possible, try to initiate sex with your husband or wife today. Do this in a way that honors what your spouse has told you (or implied to you) about what they need from you sexually. Ask God to make this enjoyable for both of you as well as a path to greater intimacy.
____ Check here when you’ve completed today’s dare.
Was this a satisfying experience for you? If it didn’t turn out the way you’d hoped, what do you think is complicating matters? Have you committed this to prayer? If it was a true blessing for both of you, what can you learn from this for the future?
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