Carmen raced to Vincent’s apartment. Immediately calling him after she left her mother’s, she told him that she needed to see him. Though she drove as quickly as the evening traffic would allow her, she still wasn’t sure what she was going to say. The only thing she was sure of was that wherever her life took her, it would revolve around this night and this conversation with Vincent.
Isabel’s words had affected Carmen deeply. Ever since she had caught her mother with Matty, Carmen had pondered just how far she would be able to go before she “lost it” like her mother had. She really thought she could use her mother’s plans to a much lesser degree. But she had tried that and unfortunately, things had not worked out the way she had intended. Only now did she realize how far she had actually gone. How far was she willing to go?
Blackmailing Anthony should have been an indicator, but even now, she still justified that as a reasonable response to his actions. She was having a horrible time recognizing where the line between wrong and right fell. Or, maybe I choose not to recognize the line at all? That thought would have made her quake in her skin a few short months ago, but now it was as if she had trained herself to hide all of her emotions, even from herself. Or, maybe you no longer feel emotion?
That wasn’t true. She still loved Vincent. At least part of her did... With everything that had happened recently, she was not sure she was the same person she used to be. But, despite her newfound inner strength and power, she was still unable to cut ties to the one man she had ever loved, even if things were different. Vincent had always been her rock, but somehow that had changed recently. Certainly there had been outside influences that had taken their toll on the two of them: Anthony, their “families”, Isabel’s revelation. But, there had also been more organic fractions between them: Vincent was unwilling to talk about his work, Carmen was unwilling to talk about her mother, neither of them felt they could trust the other anymore.
Sure, ever since that night in the hot tub, they were able to use sex as a glue to bond them together. If either of them was having doubts, had a bad day, or just needed a pick-me-up, the other was there for them. The both enjoyed each other and sex could blur a lot of deficiencies in a relationship. When that glue had dissolved a little after Anthony’s outburst in the bar, Carmen found herself examining their relationship even more closely. Thus, her natural reaction to regain control was to re-establish their bond. Fortunately, she enjoyed that part.
Still, the thoughts she was forced to face during that lull never left her mind even after that night. Carmen had long suspected that Vincent was much more involved in the business than he told her. His outright lying about it made it hard for her to trust him. Although in his defense, she had outright lied to him about a few things as well.
Her mind raced as she pulled into a parking space on the street outside Vincent’s building. Using her key, she decided to enter through a side entrance and use the stairs. As eager as she was to see Vincent, she was still lacking an agenda for their conversation. The stairs seemed like a viable stalling tactic.
I’ll bet he’s been waiting by the door. She knocked instead of using her key. After a couple seconds, Vincent opened the door. Smiling at her thought, she leaned in and kissed him warmly on the cheek. Vincent thought her smile was directed at him and reciprocated generously. “Hello, Carmen.”
After a firm hug from Vincent, Carmen walked into his apartment and took a seat in the living room. She accepted when he offered her a cocktail. When he returned with her drink, she took it and absently sipped from it. She didn’t necessarily mean to be vacuous, but something had drawn her attention. Vincent sat next to her on the couch. Breaking the silence, he began.
“I’m glad you’re here, Carmen. I know things haven’t been great between us for a while, but I think tonight, after a talk, we can get things back to where they were. Maybe even better...”
As Vincent went on talking, Carmen listened with half her attention. The other half had been taken by a photograph sitting on a bureau across the room. She had no idea why she hadn’t seen it before. As many times as she had been here, she would have noticed it before. He must have just put it up. It was a photograph of her and a bunch of other kids from the neighborhood, including: Vincent, Matty, and Anthony. In the photo, everyone was pointing and looking at something above the photographer’s head. Everyone except Vincent, that was. He was pointing like everyone else, but his eyes were furtively looking at Carmen. Carmen didn’t recall where or when it was taken, nor did she care. She just saw something more in that picture than four childhood friends having fun in easier times, something more than a young boy looking longingly at an oblivious young girl.
Carmen turned and looked at Vincent sitting next to her like a puppy begging to be forgiven for peeing on the floor and more than eager to do whatever it took to make things right when she suddenly knew exactly what she wanted to say.
Interrupting him, she spoke, “Vincent, I’ve done a lot of things recently that I’m ashamed of.” Vincent froze when he she broke through his thought, but sat attentively as she continued. “And I could blame Anthony, or Mother, or work... But I won’t, because it wouldn’t be true. The truth is: I have a dark side. I think I’ve always known it and tried to conceal it, to bury it deep within where no one would know.” Vincent attempted to interrupt, but Carmen held up her hand. “Let me finish.
“I know some people would say that we all have a dark side. But, this is different. I LIKE mine.” Vincent watched as she stood and walked across the room. He was confused by what she meant by “dark side”, but he was sure it wasn’t as bad as what he had neglected to tell her about himself.
“A couple weeks ago, I saw my mother having sex with Matty.”
Vincent’s eyes bulged from his head and he lunged forward in his seat, “You what?!?”
“You heard me. I saw my mother having sex with Matty.” She paused to make sure Vincent comprehended what she was telling him.
“I ran from the room when I caught them, and Mother later came to talk to me about it. Vincent, she told me some things you wouldn’t believe.” She started to pace in front of the couch. “But her words awoke something in me. They were meant to. After she talked to me, I was so angry at her. But, I called you and you calmed me. You took away that pain.” She turned and started wringing her hands.
“But, my relief was short-lived. That was the same night Anthony shot at us.”
Vincent rose from the couch and tried to approach Carmen, but she put up both of her hands and backed away. “After that, you were distant.
“I don’t blame you, though. I became angry at Anthony for taking you from me, and I wanted retribution. I ended up blackmailing him into sleeping with my boss so that I could get ahead at work. Vincent, I used my brother’s shame of his sexuality for my personal gain. And now, Anthony’s paralyzed in a hospital, estranging himself from the family because of me. I’ve lied to you and everyone else I care about. And I need you to know how sorry I am.”
Vincent looked incredulously at the floor before returning to the couch. He placed his head in his hands and rubbed his temples. Carmen stopped pacing and turned to face him.
After a few moments of silence, Vincent looked up at her. “I don’t know what to make of all this, Carmen. But, can I say one thing?” Her eyes urged him to speak. “I still love you.”
His words were not exactly what she was expecting to hear, yet they hit her with incredible gravity. She had to strain to keep a smile from beaming across her face and her eyes started to well up with tears. The sincerity in his eyes told her that he believed in his statement. She crossed the room and joined him on the couch. She reached for his hands and told him, “I love you, too, Vincent.”
Her words made Vincent visibly happy.
She begged him, “Please, let’s be honest with each other about everything from now on. I can’t guarantee that I won’t manipulate or deceive others from time to time, but I promise I will never deceive you. And if you can make the same promise to me, this will work. We can have it all.” Her excitement grew as she spoke. Still unsure what she was going to say when she walked into the apartment, her own words were making her believe.
“But, please, forgive me, Vincent.” She squeezed his hands. “If you can do that, I promise I can forgive you for anything as long I live.”
Vincent reached up and grabbed her shoulders. “Of course I forgive you, Carmen.” Their eyes locked and they sat motionless for a few moments before Vincent spoke again, “And I need to tell you...”
Carmen sat wide-eyed, looking at him, waiting for what he would say next.
“I... I love you so much,” he stammered.
Carmen smiled and kissed him. The moment her lips touched his, all of her worries, all of her concerns, all of those nagging questions and doubts slipped into oblivion. That was the way it was with Vincent and her; their physical intimacy overruled everything else. It was almost addictive. Given the open and honest conversation they just had, Carmen felt even closer to Vincent, and he felt it more so.
Vincent wrapped his arms around Carmen and squeezed her to him. He kissed her fervently. His openness freed him to simply give in to Carmen. He held her close to him as they passionately kissed, their hands roaming freely as if discovering their bodies for the first time. Their tongues delved deeply, lustfully seeking and massaging the other.
They slowly rose from the couch, still sealed together at the lips. Carmen wrapped her arms up underneath his arms and hooked her hands over his shoulders. Clinging tightly to him, Vincent was essentially able to lift her up and carry her across the room to the bedroom door. Her toes lightly touched the carpet between his steps. Leaning against him as he carried her, she concentrated on maintaining their kiss.
Vincent shifted her in his arms. With his left arm hooked around her lower back, he held her up in front of the bedroom door. He took his free hand and twisted the knob to open it. Kicking the door open, he lifted Carmen completely off the floor and walked her into his bedroom.
Their mouths still pressed firmly together, Carmen felt Vincent lower her onto the bed. One hand left her body and steadied their descent onto the bed. His other arm, now underneath her, helped her slide further up the mattress. Carmen clung tightly to his shoulders and moved when he moved.
She felt so secure in his arms. When he positioned himself over her, she felt protected and loved. Something within her told her this was right. This was the correct decision. A wave of happiness spread over her. When Vincent’s hand slid from her lower back to the curve of her ass, she smiled during their kiss. She was so happy to be with Vincent. This had to be love.
Vincent lowered himself upon her and Carmen enjoyed the closeness. Lying underneath him, she was his. Shielded from the world, her troubles, her doubts and everything else, she hugged him tightly. Vincent responded by cupping his hand behind her head. His fingers parting her hair, he firmly gripped her skull and pressed their heads together.
Their kiss lasted several minutes. Despite their obvious physical chemistry, neither of them was anxious to progress further. They were enjoying each other and the intimacy of the kiss too much.
But after so long, their bodies began to take over. Their kiss increased in intensity. Their hips began to move in concert. Their desire to be close to the other had taken the natural next step. They wanted that closeness to extend even further. They wanted to share everything.
Vincent broke their kiss and stood on his knees over Carmen. His eyes locked on her, his hands worked to remove his shirt. Carmen lay underneath him admiring the view. Her hands softly pawed at his hard stomach and hips.
His chest now bared to her, his hands went to work on her top. She raised her arms to help him and the blouse flew over her head. Vincent’s hands then took the opportunity to trail back down her front, his fingertips dragging across her soft, supple skin. His touch was a loving, caring caress. The goosebumps appeared almost immediately.
Vincent reached for the belt on her slacks. Quickly, her buckle was loosed and his fingers had unfastened the button and zipper. Stepping back off the bed, Vincent stood and pulled her pants over her hips. He smiled as he looked over her lying there on the bed. Carmen twisted upon the comforter and reached behind her back. After unhooking her bra, she lay prone once again and slid the satin garment from her chest. She tossed it over the edge of the bed and looked up at Vincent. He looked back upon her, his eyes gazing into hers.
They looked at each other longingly for a few moments. Each of them displayed a small, warm smile that needed to be restrained from being more. They both knew this wasn’t about having sex; this was about something more. Their histories read more like a tragedy and their backgrounds would have never indicated this kind of ending. This was a new beginning for both of them; and they knew it. There was a warmth between them that they both coveted.
Vincent slowly reached down to her hips once again and removed her boy shorts. As her panties cleared her ankles, Carmen lowered her legs to the bed. Vincent knelt on the floor next to the bed and snaked his hands underneath her thighs. Pulling her closer to him, he maintained eye contact with her as he brought his head down to her. Her legs spread for him and she watched his face approach her wanting opening.
A glancing touch of his tongue sent shivers through her body. His fingers firmly dug into her thighs just below her hips while his mouth pressed into her. She gripped the comforter on the bed in response to his skilled tongue.
Looking down upon him between her thighs, she still felt the comfort and love emanating from him. His hands held her in place and she loved the assurance they brought. She could see his powerful shoulders and the protection they afforded her. His loving caresses from his mouth felt wonderful. She writhed in pleasure on top of the bed, moaning while his tongue played with her clit.
Vincent enjoyed pleasuring Carmen, but this was something beyond pleasure. He wanted to make her happy. He wanted to make her comfortable. He wanted to make her feel safe. Every move he made was intended to bring them closer together. He squeezed her thighs against his head as he feasted on her. His hands pulled her hips into his mouth. Closeness... Togetherness... Love... Her moans and gentle writhing indicated her enjoyment, but her hands gently placed on his head told him that she was feeling the emotion of the moment.
It wasn’t long before Vincent felt Carmen’s hands pulling at his hair, urging him to mount her. He resisted for a few seconds before the urging became more than just a suggestion. Vincent pushed himself up off the bed and stood next to it. He pushed his underwear down to the floor and stepped out of them. Carmen raised her arms to accept him as he climbed back upon the mattress.
Lowering himself upon her once again, Carmen felt his erection press against her eager lips. Yet, she still longed to feel the protection and comfort Vincent provided her. She hugged him tightly, valuing the closeness of their bodies more than the sexual outlet for the moment. Their legs intertwined as they rolled atop the bed. Vincent’s cock was ever-present near her opening, but never hit the mark. Carmen simply enjoyed being enveloped by Vincent’s strong body and muscular arms.
But, as they gently rolled across the comforter, their bodies bonded together, the proximity of their sexes eventually took over. Carmen longed to feel Vincent filling her and she could tell from the size of Vincent’s erection that he was ready to enter her.
Pushing with one arm, Carmen rolled on top of Vincent. Bringing her knees alongside Vincent’s thighs, she pushed her hips over his. Giving him one last, deep kiss, she curled her back, rose up over him and placed her hands upon his chest. Vincent felt her drift from his arms, but let his hands fall to her thighs. He caressed whatever part of her body he could reach as he looked up at her.
Carmen rose up even higher on her knees and reached down between her thighs. Grasping his erection in her fingers, she positioned him directly beneath her. With her eyes affixed upon his, she sat. Piercing her, Vincent groaned when he felt his cock surrounded by her warmth. Her wet, soft vagina drew him in almost completely. She stopped over halfway down, drew her hips up and then with her weight supported by her hands upon Vincent’s chest, she pressed down onto him.
Feeling himself deep within Carmen, Vincent moaned and threw his head back. Slick and soft, her pussy coated his cock as she gently rode it up and down. Her hands, still spread across his chest, dug into his skin. He reached up to caress her breasts and simply stared at her face as she rhythmically rode him.
Carmen loved the feeling of Vincent’s entire erection filling her. Instinctively, riding her man like an animal, his cock plunged deep within her, his muscular body beneath hers and her hands upon his chest; it was incredible. She knew he was the stronger of the two, yet on top of him, she felt the power. He was hers.
Sitting down completely upon him, a gentle movement of her hips caused such a reaction in him that she could see the control she had over him. By squeezing her buttocks and pulling her stomach tight she could feel his cock shift within her. Arching her back and thrusting her ass toward his thighs, again his erection rattled her insides. Not only did she love the feeling, it was the response Vincent gave her that filled her head with ecstasy. Grinding her bottom upon his thighs caused his cock to touch every inch of her walls and Vincent moaned with pleasure.
She leaned back and felt his cock strain against her body. She slowly rocked her hips up and down to feel him glide in and out of her. It was an amazing sensation.
Unable to stand the torture, Vincent sat up to join her. Grasping her calves, he hooked her legs around his waist, allowing her to sit completely upon him directly in front of him. When she dropped onto him, her mouth fell open and she stared directly at him just inches from her face. Vincent’s hands spread across her back and held her tightly. Her knees squeezed his rib cage while his cock thrust up into her.
Impaled upon his erection, she couldn’t move vertically. She could only manipulate her hips forward and backward. Her hands curled up behind his head and held him closely. Their chests were pressed together as their bodies rocked gently with one another. They were truly making love. Each of them could feel how close and intimate the sensation was to the other.
Carmen’s fingers thread into his locks and pulled his face to hers. Pressing her tongue between his lips, she could feel his love, his power, his affection. He filled her and she loved it. There was nowhere she could go; their bodies were locked together and there was nowhere she would rather be. She could feel him pulling her down upon him more forcefully and sensed the orgasm approaching him.
She wanted nothing more. His full cock buried deep within her spilling his seed. There was no other way she was going to feel more full. When his hands gripped her hips and pulled at her, she hugged him even more tightly. She wanted his cock to explode. She wanted to feel his cum fill her.
Their bodies ground together harder and harder. Carmen did her best to bounce upon his solid cock, and Vincent tried desperately to drive into her as best he could. But, her hips sliding back and forth upon his was all he needed to push him over the edge.
Vincent’s hands crawled up Carmen’s back and over her shoulders, pulling her down upon him. Carmen had never felt anything deeper when Vincent came. His grip held her in place and pulled her down onto him. She felt his cock pulse underneath her and she knew he was emptying his load into her. Never had she felt so close to a man before. She had been on birth control for nearly a decade now, but this was the first time she had ever let a man cum within her. It was an incredible experience; and she was so happy to have it be Vincent.
As he shuddered uncontrollably beneath her, she held him close. His cock continued to fill her and the intimacy of sitting face to face with her lover was such a loving experience. She didn’t want it to end. Fortunately, Vincent didn’t let it end. He rested his head upon her chest, clutching her body to his. They sat, joined together for several minutes as they both caught their breath and enjoyed the moment.
Exhausted, Vincent fell back and Carmen lay down on top of him. Smiling, she slowly peppered him with tiny kisses. Vincent tried to reciprocate between breaths. After a few minutes, Carmen rolled off Vincent, turned away from him and wrapped herself with his arms. With him spooning her, she said, “I love you, Vincent. More than you can ever imagine.” Squeezing his hands with hers, she added, “Please never leave me.”
Vincent hugged her and kissed her neck. “I promise I won’t.”
A few seconds of silence passed.
“Can I tell you something else, Vincent?” she asked with a rather serious tone.
“Of course...”
“I don’t know how to say this, but I know something about the bombing at the docks.”
Vincent, obviously curious, rose up upon his elbow behind Carmen. “Were you involved? ... No, wait... It doesn’t matter.” He tried to rationalize the thoughts running through his head. “I don’t care. I’m done with all of that. Phil’s dead and...” Vincent’s voice trailed off. He shifted back on the bed and rolled Carmen onto her back. “Carmen, did you and your mother plan the bombing?”
Carmen’s shocked look gave him the answer to his question. “Why would you ask that?”
Vincent looked away and squinted his eyes, “I saw Matty at the hospital. He was there to kill Phil.” He spoke slowly as if he were piecing together a puzzle, “He was acting very strange. There was no way I could’ve stopped him without getting more people killed, so I let him do it.” He looked back down at Carmen. His hard eyes pierced Carmen, “But you said earlier that your mother had slept with Matty... Did you three plan this??? Was he...?”
Carmen reached across her body and put her hand to Vincent’s mouth. “I didn’t have anything to do with it, I swear. But, yes, Mother was involved,” she said, almost embarrassed to admit the truth about her mother. “I wanted to tell you because I know Phil was like a father to you in a way. I can’t imagine how that must feel.”
Vincent looked confused. After a moment of silence, he said, “Carmen, your father...”
Carmen interrupted him again, “I may be the daughter of Carmine Abbate, but I don’t really consider him my ‘father’.” She turned her head to the side. “I realized that after the funeral. I kept wondering why I wasn’t mourning the way everyone else was or in the way I should have been.” She sighed loudly. “Carmine was never around. He was always doing something with the ‘business’. But, Frank was always there. Frank was the one who really raised me. I will always see Frank Ciccone as my father. He was more of a father to me than my real father.” Tears formed in her eyes as she spoke and one leaked out, running across the bridge of her nose.
“I’ve never said that aloud. But, it’s true. I never felt close to my real father. I acted like I did, tried to convince myself that I did; but it was all another lie I was telling myself. Frank though...”
Vincent put his arms around her. “I never knew you felt that way. I’m sorry.”
Carmen finally turned her head and looked up at him. “No, Vincent. I’m the one who’s sorry. My mother’s plan killed Phil. And even though he was technically my enemy, I am sorry because it hurts you... I-, I just needed to be honest with you.”
Vincent withdrew his arm and looked toward the foot of the bed. He then turned away from Carmen and lay down upon the bed.
Worried that she had hurt him with her honesty, Carmen reached over him and gripped his arm. “Vincent! Please! I’m sorry.”
After another few seconds, Vincent threw his legs over the edge of the bed and sat up. He then stood up, but with his head hanging low, he looked distraught.
“Carmen, I have a confession as well. You asked me once if I had ever killed anyone. You were joking at the time, but I lied to you all the same when I told you that I hadn’t.”
Carmen froze. “Really? How many people have you killed?? Wait!... I don’t want to know. It doesn’t matter.”
Vincent sat back down on the edge of the bed, head still hung low, but he reached behind him in search of Carmen’s hands. When he joined her hands with his, he continued, “It does matter, Carmen. I need you to hear this. You have opened yourself to me and trusted me.” Even though Vincent couldn’t see her, Carmen nodded her understanding.
“I have been involved in a few killings. They were usually our own guys, guys Phil had suspected of informing or turning sides. But I did arrange a particular hit. It was my chance to make a name for myself...” Vincent’s head dipped even lower.
Suddenly, he looked up toward the ceiling and he blurted out, “I arranged the accident that killed your father, Carmine.”
Carmen’s eyes shot wide open and her mouth fell agape. She pulled her hand away from Vincent’s and put it to her mouth. She rolled over onto her back and clutched her chest.
Vincent turned to face her on the bed and tried to crawl over her, but she spun underneath him and rolled to the edge of the bed. Her hand still on her mouth, she sat as Vincent despondently looked at her bare back, his hand still reaching desperately for her. Carmen stood and quickly walked to the dresser against the wall opposite the bed. Vincent’s hand fell limp on the bed.
“Carmen, please believe me. It wasn’t meant for him. Phil ordered me to take out John Grivatti. Carmine wasn’t supposed to be in the car.” His voice belied his growing desperation. “It all went wrong. If I ever thought...”
Carmen turned to Vincent. She was not crying as Vincent had expected, but her nudity basked in the moonlight from the windows made her look even more vulnerable. Vincent started to move off the bed, but Carmen held up her hand. “I know I just told you that I never really cared for Carmine. ...But, you didn’t know that before tonight.” Vincent basically fell listlessly atop the bed.
“You didn’t know that when you killed him, or when you came to his funeral to comfort me. You didn’t know that when we made love for the first time.” As Carmen spoke, Vincent’s head dropped again and he started to sob. He covered his face with his hand.
“Carmen, please. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to kill him. I didn’t want to kill him. Please forgive me,” he begged. Vincent collapsed upon the bed, burying his head into the covers, muffling his cries.
Carmen approached him from alongside the bed and sat next to him. He raised his head, placed his hand on her thigh and looked at her. “I thought you said you would forgive me anything.” After looking at her for a few seconds, he dropped his head again.
Carmen ran her hand through his hair a few times and leaned down close to his ear. A look of genuine pity came across her face as she whispered, “I do forgive you, Vincent.”
Her hand drifted from his head and grasped the pillow next to his head. She raised her other hand from beside her hip and...
BANG!!!
The .45’s shot was slightly muffled as it went through the pillow she had quickly pulled over Vincent’s head. His body twitched then immediately went limp.
Carmen let loose of the gun and stood next to the bed. Looking down upon him, Vincent’s naked body lay prone on top of the bed. His head covered by the pillow, a casual observer would suspect nothing amiss aside from the blackened hole left by the pistol.
Carmen gathered her clothes and casually dressed herself. Her hands barely shook as she wiped down the gun and placed it in Vincent’s extended hand. She took one last look around the room before she walked out and closed the door behind her. As she passed the bureau in the living room, she stopped. She looked at the picture atop the bureau and suddenly remembered where the picture was taken. It was at a random street fair she and her friends had attended. They were all watching a man on stilts juggling torches. Carmen smiled at the memory.
She had seen the picture before, but never paid any attention to it. It had always been just a photograph, but no longer. Now, it was the picture of a young girl who had more power than she could imagine. She placed the picture in the pocket of her coat and left the apartment for the last time.
Once in her car, Carmen pulled out her phone. She keyed in a text and pressed “send”. “Choice made: My empire awaits.”
Putting the car in drive, she drove off into the city, into her city...