HONK!!!!!!!
Startled, Carmen whipped her head around to see the headlights of a car heading directly toward the passenger side of her car. Stunned, her body steeled itself against the imminent collision. Her second hand shot up to the steering wheel and joined the other in a vice-like grip bracing for impact.
The headlights dipped, veered to her right and behind her as the driver slammed on the brakes, turning to avoid her. Carmen’s car continued through the intersection.
Able to take a breath again, Carmen could barely get out, “Oh my god!” Frantically, she checked her rear-view mirror to see if the other driver made it through the intersection unscathed as she did. Was that light red?? A look over her shoulder told her that yes, it was.
Her heart raced. Her entire body radiated with heat. She felt like she was about to start hyper-ventilating, so she quickly pulled over to the side of the road to collect herself.
Tears had streaked her face already. Her eyes were bloodshot from her reaction to what she had just seen at her mother’s house. But, when she got into her car, she essentially zoned out, overwhelmed with the flood of emotions from all that had happened in the past few days. She had intended to go to her apartment and just try to figure things out. But, nearly being blind-sided was the final straw. She reached for her cell phone and hit Vincent’s number.
The phone rang several times before the near-double ring indicated that her call was being transferred to voicemail.
“Damn it!” she said.
“Hi. This is Vincent. Leave me a message.”
“Vincent, please call me as soon as you can.” Her voice was shaky and weak. Surely, her plea would be answered soon. She tapped the “end call” on her phone’s screen and dropped the phone in her lap.
Her mind raced with all the stuff happening around her. Trying to focus on one thing was nearly impossible. ...Maybe Vincent was only a little busy and he was just screening me for the moment. So, she grabbed the cell phone again and tapped Vincent’s number.
Once more, she heard the quick, double-ring. “Damn it!!” She slapped the steering wheel in frustration.
Running her hand through her hair, she relaxed back against her seat. She let out a long, slow exhale. With her eyes staring blankly into the roof of her car, she simply couldn’t focus on any one thought in her head. Unable to come up with any other solution, she hit Vincent’s number on her phone once more.
Ring... Ring... Ring-Ring. At the sound of the double ring, she threw the phone down on the passenger seat. “AAAaaaaahhhhhh!” she grunted in anger. The phone bounced off the seat and onto the floor. Unable to reach for it, Carmen just threw her hands up on the steering wheel and dropped her head over them.
It was a few moments before she was able to gather herself enough to drive the car again. She took a few deep breaths and resolved to make it to her apartment building. She put the car in drive, checked her mirrors, looked to her blind spot and carefully pulled out into the road. She only had a few blocks to get back to her apartment, but that wasn’t going to be her destination. There was a bar next to her building, and that was where she really wanted to end up.
Carmen entered the bar and noticed the sparse crowd. The bar was not much more than a local pub. The long room was lined with stools, most of which were empty. A few televisions were hung in the corners and above the bar. The walls were decorated with pictures of what must be local “heroes”. It was a simple watering hole for everyday Joes. It wasn’t a dive per se, but it certainly wasn’t one of those chain restaurants, either.
Carmen walked right in and headed directly for a seat at the bar. The bartender, chatting to what looked to be a regular, saw his new patron and waited until she got settled into her stool before he excused himself from the conversation. Tapping the bar in front of the regular, the man nodded in response as the bartender left him.
Tossing a beverage napkin in front of her, he asked, “What can I get you little lady?”
“Four fingers of any scotch aged longer than 8 years,” she answered. Her voice indicated that she was far from kidding.
The bartender paused for a second at the odd request. It wasn’t everyday a pretty, young woman walked into Willie’s and ordered ‘four fingers’ of anything. But, judging from her tone, he wasn’t going to ask any questions. As he turned away, he noticed his new patron pull her cell phone from her purse.
Carmen quickly tapped out a text to Vincent: Please call me. I’m at Willies.
The bartender returned quickly with a cocktail glass filled over half-full of scotch. Carmen barely let it touch the napkin before she grabbed the glass. She threw her head back and downed the entire glass in a few large gulps.
The bartender took a step back after placing the drink, but didn’t walk away. He watched the young lady put down the entire glass. She winced and coughed a little when she put the glass back atop the bar.
A little shocked, the bartender was forced to ask, “Is everything all right, Miss?”
Still cringing from the burn of the scotch down her throat, Carmen simply pointed to the empty glass and nodded her head, asking for another.
“Another?” he asked, making sure. Carmen continued to nod and point while she covered her mouth with her other fist. He shrugged his shoulders in surprise and reached for the glass when she was able to eek out, “Rocks”. The bartender tipped the glass toward her as he took it away to indicate he heard the request.
As the bartender walked away, Carmen’s cell phone vibrated in her purse. She reached into it and pulled out the phone. Her mother’s number showed up on the caller ID, so she simply tossed it back into her purse. It was too soon to talk to her.
The bartender returned with her drink and as he placed it on the napkin before her, she gave him a look that said, “Thank you, but don’t you dare speak to me.” He understood, gave her a nod and walked back to his ‘regular’ at the other end of the bar.
Carmen sipped at her scotch this time. She mindlessly looked off into the middle distance while the alcohol started to numb her thoughts. She needed the sights she saw tonight to blur. She wanted the events of the past few days to quickly become horrible memories not frightening recent events.
Her phone rang again. Thinking it was her mother trying a second time, Carmen rolled her eyes and put her drink down. She pulled the phone from her purse and saw that it was Anthony calling! Confusing emotions overwhelmed her. Panicked, she didn’t know what to do. She was amazed when her hand went to tap the ‘answer’ icon. She was in no way prepared to talk to Anthony.
She brought the phone to her ear. “Hello?”
“Carmen, I really need to talk. Do you have a minute?” her brother asked her.
“Now is not a good time, Anthony.” Carmen felt her voice start to crack. “Can I call you later?” In no state of mind to handle her brother after what she did to him, she had no idea what to say.
She heard Anthony start to weep. “Carmen... I... I... I fucked up. I’m really in trouble... Frank... He was there and I...” Sobs interrupted his speech. “I need to talk to you... Please...” he begged.
Carmen was astonished at the sound of her brother crying. She had never heard it before and as much as she had hoped to hear this sound a few hours ago, she now would give anything to wipe it from her memory.
“I’m sorry, Anthony.” She realized after she spoke them, the pressure she felt from the events of the last few days made it feel as though those words were the most genuine and pathetic words she had ever said. Tears begin to crawl down her cheeks as she continued, “I really can’t talk right now, I’m sorry. I will call you later. I promise.” She knew that she wouldn’t be equipped to handle this call later, either, but for right now, she couldn’t deal with facing her brother. The feelings running through her felt compounded ten-fold.
“Please, Carmen... I can’t go to anyone else. I’m sorry about earlier... Goddammit... Carmen, please...” He pleaded with her through his own tears.
Carmen brought her fist to her face and bit it as she listened to her brother through the phone. She closed her eyes tightly when she heard his apology. It felt as though a jury had just sentenced her to an eternity of shame. She couldn’t bear the feeling of judgment on top of her problems. She needed to end this phone call immediately.
“Anthony...” She cleared her throat, “Anthony. It will be okay. I will call you later. All right?”
“Please... I’m coming ov-“
“For God’s sake, Anthony! I said NOT NOW!”
Every patron in the bar turned their head toward Carmen at the sound of her raised voice. She didn’t notice. She had been overcome with emotion as she listened to her brother’s pleas and crying. But, with all that she had been through recently, her pity and regret had begun to turn to resentment as she listened. Feeling the change, she had forcefully put an end to his groveling. Yet, feeling like it may have been too much and now, not trusting herself to speak again, she hung up the phone and put her head down on the bar.
The rest of the bar went back to their conversations and their TV watching. One or two patrons shook their heads before finally resuming their evenings...
Carmen didn’t know how long she had been sitting at the bar with her head on her forearms when a hand touched her shoulder. Vincent’s soothing voice said, “Carmen?”
Immediately buoyed by a comforting voice, she lifted her head. When she saw Vincent’s face, she lost all control of her emotions and threw herself into his arms. Vincent wrapped her up and held her close. “What’s wrong?” he asked.
Sobbing, she tried to tell him what had happened, but it mostly came out as incoherent blather. She tried a few separate times to compose herself before she finally just let loose and cried into his chest. Vincent held her for a few minutes, ignoring everyone’s wondering glances.
Carmen stirred between sobs and Vincent took the opportunity to move her to a corner booth just inside the door. Gently he guided her down into the seat and he joined her, still holding her.
As Carmen began to calm down, Vincent asked again, “What is it, Carmen?”
“I’m sorry...” she told him. “I’m sorry I called you and that you came all the way down here.”
“No, no...” he reassured her. “It’s not a problem at all. I had to make sure you were all right.”
“I’m so happy you’re here.” Still sobbing, she desperately tried to regain control over herself. “And I’m sorry I’m such a mess.”
“It’s all right, Carmen. Just tell me what’s the matter.” Still confused as to what had his girlfriend so upset, Vincent was just trying to figure out what got her here in the first place.
A few moments passed and Carmen was able to pull herself away from Vincent’s chest and sit up straight. She continued to apologize and thank him for being so understanding. Vincent patiently waited for her to compose herself, stroking her hair and holding her hand as she wiped the tears from her face.
She finally started to explain, “Vincent, you won’t believe what I saw tonight. I went to my mother’s and-“
Suddenly, her eyes went wide and her mouth just fell open as she looked over Vincent’s shoulder. Vincent saw her expression and looked behind him.
“So!! THIS is why you couldn’t talk?!?!”
Anthony stood about 10 feet from their table. His hair was a mess and his clothes looked completely disheveled. Carmen could see the despondence in his eyes from the swollenness and tracks of tears, but she could also see that rage was quickly taking its place as he looked upon the couple at the table.
After Vincent turned to look, Carmen tried to speak. But Anthony didn’t give her time.
“Don’t fucking try to make an excuse!” He glared at her through bloodshot eyes. “I call needing help, and you ignore me because your pussy-ass boyfriend is around?” He stumbled a bit when he emphasized his question. “Fuck you! You have no idea what I’ve gone through tonight!”
His eyes broke from hers when Vincent started to turn to face him. “Goddamn fucking asshole...” His head shook slightly from side to side as he reached into the beltline under his jacket. Brandishing a snub-nosed revolver, he pointed it at Vincent. “Don’t even try to get up or I’ll...”
Vincent completed his turn and put his hands up in the air calmly. “Anthony...”
“Don’t fucking say a word you cocksucker! Don’t...fucking...say... a word!” Anthony’s words are slurred as he waved the gun through the air. The rest of the bar was now aware of the situation, but still unsure of exactly what was going on; most of them remained frozen in their seats.
“You two want to pull this Romeo and Juliet bullshit? I can help you out with that!” His words were nearly spit at the couple. “Or are you just getting off by fucking the enemy’s daughter, you fuck?” The gun more or less pointed at Vincent as Anthony sneered at him. “You think you can fuck my sister and just get away with it?!?!” His anger bubbled over now. “Fucking cocksu-“
BANG!!!!
Carmen dove behind Vincent’s shoulder at the flash of the gun. She felt Vincent’s body fall against hers and she screamed his name. But, Vincent quickly turned to her and wrapped her up. After a brief second, Vincent realized there wasn’t another shot coming. He glanced over his shoulder. The few remaining patrons in the bar were hiding under their tables; the door to the kitchen still swung from the people who had rushed through it.
Vincent turned back to Carmen and checked her over. He realized neither of them was hurt, so he got up and looked around for Anthony. Carmen looked past Vincent to the rest of the bar. Anthony was nowhere to be seen.
Vincent located the bullet hole in the wall a good 5 feet to the left of their booth. Still looking around, he reached his hand behind him to offer it to Carmen. He asked, “Are you okay?” But, she didn’t answer.
Carmen turned away from the nearly empty bar and her eyes narrowed. The betrayal, the guilt, the embarrassment, the empathy and all the other emotions she was dealing with just a few minutes ago were all gone. The dam within her that confined them had broken. She was now completely enveloped in a cold, vengeful rage.