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The ride to Ottawa was rather uneventful. Lachlan decided to take the scenic route, whether to give Jaira a tour or because he thought the drive would be more enjoyable it was hard to say. Arlana struggled with mounting stress as she glanced at the time. It would be humiliating to arrive late and there was still the matter of the hotel.
"I think we should book into the hotel after the wake," Arlana bit down on the inside of her cheek, a habit since childhood when under stress, "I really don't want to be late."
"We are making good time," Lachlan assured her before pointing out yet another landmark to her younger sister.
No, it wasn't jealousy. It was stress - it had to be.
"I'll hang out at the park with Aziel. It might be too much for him to see his grandfather like this," Lachlan turned off the ignition.
Half an hour late. Just what she had feared.
Arlana was the first to unbuckle, calling over her shoulder, "We'll meet you back at the car then as soon as this is done. Thanks again," She closed the door behind her before hearing his "No problem," focused completely on the embarrassment of entering the funeral home late. She didn't want all eyes to turn, worried about the drama her insisting Jaira come would cause. Her stomach heaved with every step as the sisters walked side by side, as stoic as possible under the circumstances.
Arlana waved at an elderly man sitting in a truck in the middle of the parking lot. He looked just like her father. "I thought Dad wasn't coming today," she lowered her voice for her sister's ears alone, "I guessed he changed his mind."
"That's not dad..."
"Oh gosh," Arlana's face turned a deep crimson, but she quickly recovered, "Uncle Shane!" she smiled at the man approaching, a cigarette between his fingers. She'd recognize him anywhere even after over twenty years. He was the handsome uncle she had a childhood crush on once upon a time.
The man chuckled, "No, I'm your cousin's husband. Shane is inside."
If only a paper bag was available.
"It's been so long," she attempted feebly, "Well, we will wait for you and go in together."
Paul took his time, making that one cigarette last forever.
"We should just go in," Jaira spoke up at her side, "Get this done and over with."
All bravado had left and Arlana was left with what felt like jello for knees.
Their timing was way off.
Not a moment after they had entered the double doors of the funeral home, then everyone, and I mean everyone, filed out of the viewing room. Soft elevator music did little to drown out the palpable tension in the air as Adelaide, flanked by their younger brothers, stepped toward them and froze. Strained hugs followed before they quickly retreated into a waiting dining area.
Aunt Samantha hugged Arlana.
"We are just taking a short break because I asked them to fix Grandpa. He was sliding down in the casket..." her voice choked, "They did a terrible job. He is yellow. Remember how his moustache was always such a bright white? It is yellow!"
Arlana thought it might be to their advantage. The yellowed man laying in the casket looked much more like a mannequin than the grandfather she had seen just the week before. This was not her grandfather lying in state and because of that, she was able to deal with her grief without so much as a tear.
Ivan, Samantha's husband, hugged her, "I was there when your grandfather passed."
"Oh really?" she glanced over her uncle's shoulder as others began to enter the room once again, their grandfather's remains having been put to rights, "Adelaide said she was there too but never said anything else about it."
The older man nodded, "She was by his head, Samantha beside her and your Aunt Anna on his other side. I was standing at the foot of the bed. You see, he had fallen out of bed earlier saying he wanted to go home..."
Home? As in back to the nursing home or to heaven? Arlana brought her thoughts back to what her uncle was saying.
"When he fell, he broke his hip, so they gave him morphine for the pain. You see, the cancer was so far gone there really wasn't much anyone could do for him at that point but the man never took any medication. You can just imagine the effect the morphine had on him! Well, he began thrashing his head on the pillow...it was so hard to watch! Then he opened his eyes and said, 'Oh, hello Ivan!' and that was it. He was gone." He brushed at a tear that spilled unbidden down his cheek," Samantha was really upset I was the last one he spoke to."
Arlana nodded. She could understand that. Those were his last words? She had expected something...she didn't know really...more majestic?
"I see angels! I see Jesus! Lord, I'm coming home...." Something!
****
SHE DIDN'T HAVE TIME to process her feelings, surrounded by people offering their condolences and relatives she hadn't seen in a very long time.
Adelaide sat alone on a small couch near the casket beside another aunt who professed to be a Christian as well, Adelaide's daughters at her side. Their brothers had left with Joshua, not saying a word.
"What is going on between you and your sister?" An aunt whispered, her voice low so others wouldn't hear.
"I don't know, she's barely spoken to me since Grandpa passed."
Arlana listened as the other relatives recounted stories of their grandfather, noting that their Aunt Anna was the only one who was beside herself with joy, giving the elderly people he had lived with a joyful tour of the displays the family had set up as a memorial.
"Her joy is really out of place at a time like this," an uncle shared his thoughts with Arlana, "It's almost as though she is delighted he is gone..."
Arlana knew it was because she believed he was in a better place, but she kept quiet.
Meanwhile, Jaira made it a point to tell everyone that would listen that she wasn't meant to be there. She hadn't been told of Grandpa's passing let alone invited to the funeral. They frowned, not knowing the back story. Regardless of the "why," what Mark and his family had done in their treatment of Jaira was inexcusably rude. The extended family supported Jaira as they milled about the funeral home.
"I want to get some air," Jaira made her way through the grieving relatives, momentarily blinded by the dazzling sunshine of a beautiful fall day.
Arlana agreed, the scent in the funeral home was making her sick.
"Something is up with you girls," Aunt Roseanne wasn't one to beat around the bush as she joined the sisters outside.
Jaira poured out her story once again in excruciating detail, confiding in their aunt who professed to be a fellow Christian. Her daughter had just married after having a child out of wedlock, yet she was also at the funeral, her bastard child cherished. It stood out in stark contrast to how Arlana's parents treated their children and grandchildren who had been "born in sin."
Tears poured down Jaira's face as she exposed her heart to her empathetic aunt.
Roseanne frowned, "Your dad ain't in no position to judge..."
She was cut short as Adelaide stepped out of the building, "Oh there you are, I was wondering where you'd disappeared to."
"We just needed some air. It is very difficult to stay in there," Arlana answered for the sisters.
Adelaide's daughters, hair in ringlets as though attending a party, kicked at the rocks lining immaculate flower beds. They wouldn't look at their "black sheep" Aunt Jaira. Adelaide knew all too well the feeling of being under her niece's condescending judgment.
"We are going to be staying at a nearby hotel," Arlana attempted to change the topic, "Maybe we can get together afterwards. The kids could play in the park or something - we can make sandwiches and have a picnic." They'd packed buns and sandwich meat before leaving and there was more than enough to go around.
"We already had sandwiches," Adelaide snapped.