Funny how things happen. The next day a reporter from the Providence Journal calls. She says she heard how, in the hours before the show, we were all arrested for protesting the removal of a lemonade machine. Her name is Carolyn Brussat and she wants to interview each of us. The following morning the East Bay section of the paper has a giant color shot of the five of us standing at the edge of the Civic Center stage. The headline reads:
STUDENTS HOPE DETERMINATION
CAN TURN LEMONS INTO LEMONADE
Beneath that is a full-page story all about my friends and me, the soda controversy and what happened at Catch A RI-Zing Star. In the article it hardly seems to matter that we weren’t able to stop the school from taking the lemonade machine away or that we lost Catch A RI-Zing Star—we didn’t even make it past the first round.
For a few days, WRIZ-TV keeps showing a ten-second clip of us up onstage at the contest. They repeat it over and over again for comic value. At the event it felt horrible and embarrassing, but now that I see it on TV I realize it is kind of funny, with Stella, Charlie, Wen and me frantically struggling with our instruments, and poor Olivia sweating it out, screeching into the microphone like an antelope in heat.
But I’m just relieved that the contest is behind us.
It’s four whole days after Catch A RI-Zing Star before I’m well enough to get out of bed, and even after I go back to school it still takes me a while to fully recover from my cold. But by the middle of March I’m feeling much better.
On a Friday afternoon I stay late talking with Mrs. Reznik about a Mozart piece she wants me to play at the May recital. After that I have a few minutes to kill on the floor of the school lobby as I wait for the late bus home. At first I figure I’ll make use of the time by reading ahead in Biology, but as I put my hand into my backpack I change my mind. Instead, I pull out a paperback that Olivia loaned me. “P. G. Wodehouse isn’t deep reading or anything,” was what she said, “but it’s fun.”
I’ve made up my mind. There’s no point in trying to be Supergirl.
I’m a few pages into it when somebody sits down next to me. By that time I’m so involved in the story that I don’t pay much attention. But I guess a part of me feels somebody watching, hovering over me, so eventually I look up.
I wonder only vaguely why he’s here. He and I have hardly spoken since forever. But my mind is still in a London cab with a donkey.
“Hello.”
He looks like he has something to say so I wait. “I’m an idiot,” he says finally. “I screwed everything up and I know it.”
“Then why did you break up with me?”
“I don’t know. Insanity, I guess. And that whole thing with Lynn Westerberg, well … that was yet another stupid mistake. I guess I’m not the sharpest guy around when it comes to figuring out what I really want.”
I’m not sure how to react. “Why are you telling me this, Scott?”
He flashes me his trademark half-smile. “Listen, I’ve been thinking. It’s been a long, crazy year, and you and me, well, we went through a rough patch, but that’s all behind us now. But I still like you, and I think you still like me. So I was wondering … why don’t we get back together?”
All I can do is blink at him.
Thing is, a part of me used to secretly hope for this. In my weaker moments I dreamed that Scott would come back and everything would be happy. And now here he is. But instead of feeling elated—or even amused or angry—I’m surprised at what I feel. Nothing. Nothing at all. And that’s when all at once my new reality hits me.
I don’t care about Scott anymore.
How did it happen? Exactly when over the past few months did he turn into just some guy I know? Some boy I used to like? It feels strange to realize such a gigantic tidal shift can happen without my even noticing.
Thankfully, that’s when the bus pulls up and kids begin shuffling through the glass double doors into the cold. But I don’t stand up right away. I don’t want to seem cruel.
“I’m sorry,” I say as kindly as I can. “I’m not interested.”
He looks surprised, even a little hurt. I can’t help feeling sorry for him. But there isn’t anything else to say so I gather my things and head out to the bus.
That night Naomi comes over and we all watch Kaise Kahoon Ke Pyaar Hai, an Amit Hingorani musical about a college student living a split life as a part-time thief. And for some reason that makes me look around and realize that I’m living a split life too. On the one hand I’m an ordinary American girl going to school with regular American friends. On the other I’m part of a Bengali family, one that goes to a Hindu temple, eats a lot of curried fish, with parents that grew up in a world completely separate from the one we live in now. I’m a two-sided coin, a walking contradiction.
Suddenly I have the urge to tell Charlie. I want to share my revelation. I know he’ll get it. With his quarter flipping and his theories about twins and balance in the universe, if anybody understands about duality and paradox it’s Charlie.
But I also know I can’t really have that conversation. Not the way I want to, anyway. Even though Charlie and I still talk, there’s been a wall between us ever since that awful morning at the clinic. My cheeks still burn whenever I think about it. Not only because of the terrible way I treated him, but also because of the emptiness I still feel whenever he and I catch each other’s glance.
The next morning before I go to school I find my dad praying in our pooja room. I stop what I’m doing. For a while I stand in the doorway, just watching and listening. I’m reminded of what Mrs. Reznik is always saying about beauty and honesty. After a minute or so I feel the urge to pray too, so I walk over and kneel down beside him.
“Baba?” I ask him later when we’re eating breakfast together. “When you told me all you want is for me to be happy, did you really mean it?”
He looks up from his paper at me, his forehead suddenly wrinkled with concern. This is the first time either of us have mentioned the argument he and I had the morning of the contest. In the days after that blow up, I happened to overhear my mom and dad on the phone a couple of times having long conversations with Selena’s parents. I couldn’t hear what they were saying, exactly, but I suspected they were looking for advice about how to deal with wild Americanized daughters. But since then I’ve been trying to be on my best behavior—and I’ve been noticing that my dad has too.
“Yes,” he says. “You know I did.”
I’m nervous to be talking about this, but I keep going. “And you trust my judgment?”
He glances over at my mother, but she suddenly seems deeply interested in her breakfast. I think they both understand what I’m getting at. When he looks back at me, that tightrope panic flickers across his eyes again. But then he looks down at his paper. He sighs. When he finally answers, his voice doesn’t sound so much eager as resigned to the inevitable.
“Yes, Monu. I trust your judgment.” From his stiff expression, I’m positive that we understand each other.
I wrap my arms around his neck and give him a giant hug.
I have the beginnings of a new idea. Not exactly a grand plan, more of a feeling really, a foggy notion. And anyway, I realize now that grand plans can change. I’m not sure of any details of my idea yet, but that’s okay. For now, a foggy notion is enough.
After killing an hour or 2 downstairs with the A.V. Club I finally stepped out of the school Lobby into a surprisingly warm afternoon. The sky was cloudy but most of the recent snow had melted into puddles on the pavement there was even a bird chirping somewhere.
Don’t let the sunshine and tweety-birds fool you bro whispered my cynical twin it’s only 1 of those March teaser-days—an aberration that’ll end up raising your spirits and making you feel like Spring is right around the corner only to send you crashing back down to Earth with more freezing New England Winter in a day or so. 1 of nature’s cruel jokes.
I tried to ignore him. I considered whether I should take advantage of the mild weather and walk home instead of taking the bus. After so much cold it would feel good to walk outside with my coat unzipped on the other hand some of the clouds did look kind of gray and the late bus was right there waiting by the curb.
Unable to make up my mind I reached into my pocket and fingered my lucky quarter. I tossed it into the air. Heads I’d hoof it, tails I’d take the ride.
It spun as it rose and just after it started back down I snatched it into my hand. Which had pretty much healed by then. I uncurled my fingers. The familiar silver eagle holding its wings wide like a flasher.
Tails.
OK buddy. The bus it is.
The verdict was clear but somehow unsatisfying. I decided to toss the quarter again only this time I let it fall to the walkway. I bent over to inspect it. Tails again.
Come on brother get hopping or our ride’s going to leave without us!
I glanced back at the bus. Its engine revved into life. I still had time to catch it but suddenly I felt tired of listening to Aaron. Whether it was him or my own lack of confidence or even just the shifting whims of the Universe, why should I let anything make my choices for me like I’m just some powerless leaf twisting and spinning in the wind? Sure I was sorry he was dead and everything. But still.
Fair or not, my brother was gone and I was here.
And I had my own ideas.
All at once I made up my mind. I turned my back on the bus and left the quarter on the pavement. I walked away.
Goodbye Aaron Jacob. From here on in I’m going it solo.
My boots squelched through the muddy field behind the gym I couldn’t help smiling. On a day like today it wasn’t hard to picture what would of been nearly impossible to imagine only days before. The pounding of fists into leather gloves. The crack of baseball bats.
Unfortunately my premature Spring glow didn’t last. Before I even reached the main road I felt the 1st raindrop on my ear and within seconds I found myself in the middle of a sudden cold downpour.
Just my luck.
But soon I noticed her. A girl with a wide red umbrella watching me from the sidewalk. I stopped.
“What are you doing here Mo?”
“Walking.” She held her umbrella out. “Offering to keep the rain off you.”
“But you don’t live in this direction.”
She shrugged.
Whatever was left of my good mood disappeared. After all, I was still stinging from the way she’d treated me at the clinic. Since then I’d been comfortable enough around her when we were with other people but I’d avoided being alone with her. And right now it was just her and me.
Plus something about this unexpected meeting felt a little too coincidental.
“How did you know I was going to walk home today?”
“I didn’t I saw you coming across the field and decided to meet you.”
Hmmm. I wondered what she was up to. But then again, Naomi lived in this direction only a few blocks away so maybe it wasn’t so strange.
There was nothing I could do but join her we started down the street together with Mo holding the umbrella over both our heads and for a long time I didn’t say a word and we walked in an awkward silence. But then eventually she came out with “How’s English Comp?” as if everything else was perfectly fine.
“Great” I said keeping my eyes on the sidewalk. Why did she even bother to ask? She knew it was my worst subject. “Except of course that I’m practically failing.”
After that we both went back to not saying anything but I could tell there was something weird going on. Some unfamiliar weight. She was definitely up to something.
Finally we reached the turnoff for Naomi’s street. “Here we are” I said quickly. “This is where we part ways see you tomorrow.”
I walked on. For a moment she stayed where she was but soon I heard footsteps running up behind me. “Wait Charlie don’t go! You don’t have an umbrella I’ll walk you a little farther!”
I could see on her face that there was something on her mind. I thought of just coming out and asking her what it was but I decided against it. You never knew with Mo. Whatever it was I figured I’d find out soon enough. A block later we passed the Post Office. That was when I 1st felt her fingers brush against my hand. It happened quickly but I noticed it. I didn’t say anything in case it was unintentional. But my senses were on red alert.
A little while after that our hands touched again only this time I knew it was no accident because her fingers wrapped around mine.
I stopped walking. “What are you doing?”
“Holding your hand.”
My heart was suddenly in my throat but I made an effort to stay cool. “Yes I realize that. I’m just surprised. Especially since you already made it perfectly clear you don’t want anything to do with me.”
She was biting her lip and looking really nervous. “I know I did I’m sorry I’m so so sorry but at the time I was messed up and confused and I didn’t know what I wanted but you’re truly the best thing that’s ever happened to me and I love being around you and I really do want to be with you I’ve wanted to tell you that for so long but I didn’t know how to do it because I’ve already made such a mess of things.”
The rain had picked up by then and it was falling hard all around us and I was having a hard time making sense of this.
“I don’t get it Mo. What about everything you said about us being too different?”
“I was wrong I’m sorry” she said again. “I screwed up.”
“What about your parents? I thought you didn’t want to sneak around anymore. Like you did with Scott?”
She shrugged. “My parents already know. We worked it out. They want me to be happy and they trust my judgment.”
They worked it out? Huh? Did I miss something? Were we talking about the same parents she always said would hit the roof if she even hinted she was dating anybody? Was she serious?
I wondered if I would ever understand this girl. Who did she think I was? A toy she could play with? Some robot with no feelings? I pulled my hand away remembering what she’d said to me.
“Well you’re too late Mo. I’m not interested. I have my own grand plan now and you’re not in it.”
She bit her lip again and it looked like she might even cry. “I never meant to hurt you Charlie … I hope you can at least forgive me.”
I felt a wave of heat and I was about to tell her what she could do with her apologies but that’s when she took my hand again and stepped even closer. The way she peered up at me all anxious it put the brakes on whatever I was about to say.
All I could manage was “What are you doing?”
“Remember that time you poked fun at me because I never do anything on impulse? Anything reckless just because I’m dying to know what it feels like? Well get ready. I’m about to do something reckless.”
She suddenly raised herself on her toes. She must of lost track of how she was holding the umbrella because I felt the rain pelt down on my neck and the back of my jeans but I hardly paid any attention to that.
Because that’s when she kissed me.
It was quick and soft and so unexpected I nearly fell over.
“Oh God I’m sorry!” she said seconds later as she readjusted the angle of the umbrella. “You’re all wet!”
“What was that?” I asked. I was too surprised to be angry. The truth was that even though I didn’t want to admit it I still liked this girl just as much as ever. I never stopped thinking about her. Part of me wanted to find a way to get over my hurt feelings so we could be together only I didn’t know how.
“It was a kiss” she said. Like that wasn’t obvious. “And you want me to tell you how it felt?”
What could I say? My brain was on overload.
“Right. It felt … right. Tell me you didn’t feel the same thing.”
But I wasn’t ready to give up being angry yet. After all, she’d totally crushed me back at the clinic.
“You’re out of your mind” I said.
I started to pull away but she wouldn’t let go. She grabbed my hand tight and came in close again. Then for what seemed like a long time we both just stood there. Me fuming and Mo still squeezing my hand. Neither of us saying a word and the rain pelting down on the umbrella.
And that’s when she stood on her toes again. And kissed me for the 2nd time only this one was even softer. And longer.
OK so now let me tell you something I learned about the Universe. It doesn’t make any sense at all. For weeks I’d been licking my wounds over this girl. Practically pulling my hair out over her. And yet now here I was standing under an umbrella kissing her. And even the kiss didn’t make sense because in my mind I’d always pictured (when I’d dared to anyway) that if Mo and I ever did kiss (and I mean a real kiss) it would be exotic and wild the kind that leaves you on your knees. But in real life it wasn’t like that at all. The genuine article was quiet and much more comfortable than I’d ever imagined. And to be honest, much better.
When it was over the calves of my jeans were soaked and I realized I’d forgotten to breathe.
George was watching TV, but he kept wandering into the kitchen to steal pieces of dark chocolate off the counter, leftover ingredients from the concoction Sydney was working on. It was in the oven now, a complicated wonder she called a Doberge cake. Right now she and my father were too busy staring anxiously into a pot on the stove to notice George’s hand shoot out, grab a few loose chunks and pop them into his mouth.
It was a Saturday in late March and my fat lip was only a memory. Sydney and my dad were taking a Creole cooking course once a week and today they were attempting some of the recipes they’d learned. Gumbo, jambalaya and God only knew what else. They’d spent the afternoon peeling shrimp and slicing vegetables. That’s why my friends were coming to dinner. Tonight would be an experiment with Lemonade Mouth as the guinea pig.
“Okay, try it now,” my father said to Sydney, his voice a little anxious.
She dipped a spoon into the pot and tasted the creamy goop. After a moment’s consideration her frown softened. “A little better, I guess. What do you think, more Worcestershire? I’m not sure.”
My dad turned to me. “Wen, how are you doing out there, kiddo? Want to tell me what you think of this meunière sauce?”
“Not especially,” I called from the sofa. “I’m reading.”
It was weird to see him so enthusiastic in the kitchen. Not that my father never cooked before, but tuna noodle casserole and green beans mixed with canned cream of mushroom soup was about as adventurous as he ever got.
Dubious as this culinary episode seemed, I had to admit that the spicy smells wafting into the living room weren’t awful.
As I leaned back with my book, my legs automatically stretched out to rest on the black wooden trunk we’d kept for weeks in front of the sofa for lack of anywhere else to put it. Only when my feet landed on the floor was I reminded that we’d finally moved the massive thing along with most of Sydney’s other old furniture to a storage place in Warren. Besides her graphic design plans, Sydney was now also talking about starting up a part-time antiques business. I still wasn’t used to having so much space.
On my lap was Shakespeare’s Complete Works, a thick volume I’d found on top of a box in Olivia’s room. I’d asked to borrow it. Olivia had agreed without seeming to give it much thought. When I brought it home and flipped through the pages, though, I found notes scribbled all over the margins in slanted black pen. In the same handwriting, the name printed on the inside back cover caught my attention.
Ted Whitehead.
Holding the book more gingerly now that I knew it once belonged to Olivia’s father, I opened to Twelfth Night, the play Olivia said her name came from. I spent an hour or so trying to plow through it, but the ancient, flowery language was like Swahili to me. I struggled with all the “perchances,” “know’st thous” and head-scratchers like “she hath abjured the company and sight of men.” But from what I could make out, it was this crazy love story where everybody is miserable from being in love with somebody who loves someone else. Olivia is this beautiful, rich countess with all kinds of servants and clowns milling around her house. This other guy, Duke Orsinio, lies around all day and listens to music. I forced myself to plod ahead, but to be honest there was a lot I didn’t get.
“Are you ready to be astounded and amazed?”
I looked up. My dad and Sydney stood over me grinning. Sydney held out a spoon and a small cup of lumpy brown liquid. “Come on,” she beamed. “Try this.”
“What is it, exactly?”
“Crawfish bisque.”
I peered into the cup. Green specks and suspicious looking sea creatures floated at the top. I considered trying to postpone the inevitable until dinner, but they seemed so proud of themselves that I didn’t have the heart. I took the cup and the spoon and put a tiny dab of the stuff in my mouth.
Not so terrible. Pretty okay, actually.
I gave them a thumbs-up and they scurried back to the kitchen. From all the high-fives, you would have thought they’d just found a cure for cancer.
It was then that it suddenly dawned on me that I hadn’t dreamt about Sydney in ages. I tried to remember the last time. Weeks ago, I guessed. Not since before the morning I’d seen her naked. In the days that followed that supremely awkward moment, I’d spent a lot of time thinking. What was it about that bathroom incident that had left me feeling so confused? It took me a while, but finally I figured out what it was.
Seeing Sydney like that hadn’t been as big a deal as I would have thought. Instead, walking in on Sydney without her clothes had felt more like mistakenly walking in on an older cousin. Or maybe an aunt. Somebody I didn’t have any secret feelings for. It wasn’t at all what I’d expected.
I’d felt nothing but embarrassment.
And it’d made it even worse when Sydney had fussed over my fat lip like a mother hen.
Still, I was okay with it now. After so much shame, it felt liberating to realize that I didn’t burn with guilt around her anymore.
George shut off the TV and switched on the computer. Pretty soon he was exploring some noisy underground cave full of angry trolls and vials of poisonous potions. I went back to my reading but soon felt myself losing interest. Finally I gave up. I flipped back through the pages, marveling at all the indecipherable scribbles Olivia’s father had made. My eyes fell on a passage he’d drawn a thick box around and marked with asterisks. I hadn’t understood it the first time, but I looked at it again. The clown in Olivia’s house was singing a song that went:
What’s to come is still unsure:
In delay there lies no plenty;
Then come kiss me, sweet and twenty,
Youth’s a stuff will not endure.
There was a tap at the window. I looked up. Olivia’s face peered in at me, her Scooby-Doo backpack over her shoulder. Recently, Mo had quietly taken me aside and warned me to be careful with Olivia. “Don’t hurt her, Wen,” she’d said. “I’ve seen the way she looks at you.” But now, looking at Olivia through the window, I finally recognized the warm rush I felt whenever she was around. It was a rush I could never feel for an aunt or a cousin. I suddenly understood why I’d been hoping she might show up early.
Back in the kitchen, my dad and Sydney wore expressions of deep concentration, both of them busy chopping and stirring the ingredients of their weird, fishy food. For the first time, I realized that they looked kind of sweet together.
That’s when I had a sudden idea what the passage might have meant. And it occurred to me that maybe Shakespeare was onto something.
It’d been my idea to invite Mrs. Reznik. I was happy when she’d actually agreed to come. We had to pull the table away from the wall so everybody could fit. There were nine of us, including George, my dad, Sydney, my friends and me. I was surprised how fancy everything looked. Sydney laid out a tablecloth, dimmed the lights and lit candles to set the mood. My dad brought out the cloth napkins and the good china. Zydeco music bounced quietly from the stereo. There was so much food it was like a restaurant. Some of it was pretty spicy, and to be honest I’m not a big oyster fan so I could take or leave the chowder, but the gumbo was amazing and I ended up taking two helpings. There were even special meat-free versions of just about everything especially for Stella. Everybody gobbled it up.
Well, maybe not everybody. George eyed the cake, which loomed on the counter like a monument, a champion chocolate dessert on steroids, but other than that I don’t think my little brother was much of a Creole fan. He picked at the jambalaya and had a few bites of a crab cake, but mostly he just sat there listening to everyone else talking and laughing.
Mrs. Reznik told a hilarious story about how she once got locked out of the house in her bathrobe and shower cap one morning because she thought she saw a lame bird in a tree. She can be a hoot when she gets going. Sydney was laughing so hard I thought her ice tea might come shooting out her nose.
But then toward the end of the meal, the mood completely changed.
“Listen, everybody,” Stella said in the middle of a rare lull in the conversation. “I … uh … got some news today. Serious news, actually.”
Of course, I didn’t have any idea what Stella’s news would be, and it didn’t occur to me at first that there might be anything to worry about. Sure, she’d been a little quieter than usual today, but it hadn’t seemed like a big deal. Plus, at that moment my attention was on Sydney. She’d just set the Doberge cake on the table and I was watching greedily as she began to cut it into slices. But when I finally glanced over at Stella and noticed her somber, unsmiling expression and the way she was waiting for everybody’s attention, I pretty much forgot about the cake.
Something was clearly up. Something serious.
It was obvious that everybody else sensed the same thing. Everyone got quiet. Sydney stopped slicing and even George looked up from the stack of breadsticks he’d been arranging as a fortress around his napkin. We all looked over at Stella and waited for her to tell us whatever it was.
She looked down at the tablecloth.
“I’m not exactly sure how to say this. My mother … well, she only told me this afternoon so it’s still something I’m getting used to myself.”
“What is it?” Sydney asked anxiously, setting aside her cake knife and sitting back down. “Tell us.”
Stella took a deep breath and then started into her story. Apparently her mother had taken her out to lunch, just the two of them. In the middle of the meal she’d reached into her purse and pulled out a long, white envelope.
“We need to talk,” she’d said softly. Which of course made Stella kind of nervous. And it got even worse when her mother had put her hand over hers and said, “Now, I don’t want you to get upset about this, honey. It’s going to be okay.”
“It was bad enough that I’ve had so much on my mind lately anyway,” Stella said to us now. “But the way my mom was acting was completely freaking me out.”
“Go on,” Mrs. Reznik said with concern in her eyes. “What happened?”
Her mother told her that the envelope had arrived a couple days earlier, but she hadn’t said anything to Stella about it until now because she was waiting for the right moment. She said she figured Stella was going to take it hard. She set the envelope on the table.
“So as you can imagine, by then I was sweating estuaries. I looked down at the letter. It was from the high school guidance department.”
Mrs. Reznik’s eyebrows pulled together.
“Remember I told you all about how they made me take all those stupid tests? How my mother had to come in and later I had to spend a whole Thursday afternoon stuck in that little green room in the guidance area? Well, I’d almost forgotten all about that. It was just a bad memory I preferred not to relive. But here it was back to haunt me. Now, I didn’t really want to know what was inside the envelope, but my mom was waiting so I picked it up off the table and pulled out the letter. I could feel my heart thumping. Before I even started reading the thing I looked over again at my mom’s face and knew that whatever news this piece of paper had, it wouldn’t be anything good. Something was obviously out of whack.”
At this point in Stella’s story she reached into her pocket and pulled out an envelope that I guessed, rightly, was the same one as in her story. As we all leaned forward, waiting anxiously to hear what she was going to say next, she slowly and dramatically pulled out the letter.
Then she read aloud.
“The Opequonsett Public School system recently completed a full core evaluation of your daughter Stella and testing resulted in a finding of dyslexia. After reviewing input from her teachers and mother, Stella’s physician reports a diagnosis of Attention Deficit Disorder. These problems would negatively influence Stella’s ability to read and fully comprehend written material as well as maintain focus in class.”
I suddenly felt terrible for Stella. After all, we all knew what an issue this stuff was for her. She was always so sensitive about her bad grades, and if anybody ever kidded her about something she said, any innocent comment she could wrongly interpret as being a jibe at her intelligence, she went all moody. Somewhere she’d gotten the crazy idea that she was dumb. It wasn’t true, of course, but that was Stella. Once a notion found its way into her head, it wasn’t easy for anybody to argue it out of her.
Mo and Olivia started to open their mouths, probably to say something consoling, something to let her know that this really was okay and not such an awful thing. But Stella held up a finger to stop them. She continued reading.
“The school has developed a plan for accommodating Stella’s needs. Going forward, Stella will be given individual and small group help from our Resource teacher who will supplement and support her regular classroom work as well as work with her on an alternative reading method. Stella will also be given preferred seating where she is closer to the classroom teacher and away from hallway disruptions. In addition, for written tests, Stella will be allowed to complete her work in a quiet, comfortable area without any distractions or time restrictions.”
She lowered the letter. I was surprised to see the expression on her face.
She was grinning.
“You should have heard my mom,” she said, laughing. “She kept saying stuff like, ‘This is not the end of the world,’ and ‘a lot of people have these kinds of problems.’ She didn’t understand that this was the best news I’d heard in a long time!”
But I still didn’t follow. I struggled to understand how this was good news.
“Don’t you get it?” she said to our confused faces as if we were missing the obvious. “This is the reason I’ve been having such a hard time in school! This is why there’s always so much stuff I don’t get! Why my grades are so crappy! You know, I even failed an IQ test at my old school, but now I know the reason.” She jabbed her finger up and down at the letter. “This explains a lot!”
Charlie and I exchanged glances. He looked as puzzled as I was. And after a quick glimpse around the table I saw that we weren’t the only ones.
But Stella only laughed again, beaming at us like a convict relieved of a death sentence. “Don’t you see? It’s like I just had the idiot-stamp removed from my forehead! I’m not a moron after all, I’m just easily distracted!”
It seemed like a weird thing to be so ecstatic about, but there it was. And however odd the reason, I felt glad for her. It wasn’t long before everybody was laughing along with her, and giving her our congratulations. Sydney cut us each a celebratory slice of her Doberge cake, and Mrs. Reznik even made a toast:
“To friends, family, food and taking exams in comfortable, quiet areas without distractions or time restrictions!”
Everybody clinked glasses. Stella practically glowed.
Dear Naomi,
Of course, you already know how it all played out that spring, how that first Providence Journal article led to a flood of letters of support for us and our lemonade cause. And that led to more articles and even an interview on the local news. And with the continued radio play, and with WRIZ-TV never seeming to tire of showing that clip of our disastrous performance at Catch A RI-Zing Star, interest in Lemonade Mouth kind of snowballed. People seemed to think we were hilarious. It even got to the point where complete strangers would sometimes come up and ask me if I was one of those funny kids they’d seen on TV or read about in the paper. For a few weeks there, we were almost like celebrities.
It was a weird time. My grandmother kept a scrapbook.
One day a columnist at the Providence Phoenix wrote an opinion piece that even called us “icons of their generation.” “You don’t have to be in high school to sympathize with their plight,” the writer said. “In a way, Lemonade Mouth is like Everyman. We can all relate to the difficulty of finding ourselves in over our heads, trying to maintain our dignity and sense of humor while undertaking tasks that sometimes seem out of our grasp.” After Stella read that one aloud at the Freak Table I still remember all the puzzled faces.
It was all pretty overwhelming.
Needless to say, with so much media coverage, the pressure on Mr. Brenigan and the finance committee to bring back the lemonade machines eventually got pretty bad. So bad that they eventually had no choice but to give in. The administration tried to play it all down—they didn’t even make an announcement about their change of heart. But somebody must have tipped someone off because word not only got out that the machines were coming back, but we even found out ahead of time which day the delivery truck was coming.
I’m sure you remember that Saturday in early April, the morning we all waited in the high school parking lot. After all, you were there too, along with what seemed like half the school. Despite the cool temperature, a bunch of kids set up lawn furniture, others ran around throwing Frisbees or playing guitars while we waited. It was a blast. There were reporters there, too, including Carolyn Brussat from the Providence Journal, the lady who’d written that first article about us. There were even camera crews from a couple of local TV stations.
Terry Cabeleira stood lookout at the corner of the street so he could spot the truck before anybody else. Finally he shouted, “I can see it! Here it comes!”
As the truck backed up to the loading dock everybody cheered and waved, and some kids held up signs. Along with the usual HOLD IT HIGH! RAISE IT UP! were others like VICTORY FOR THE UNHEARD! and WHEN LEMONADE MOUTH SPEAKS, THE WORLD LISTENS!
Turned out, I recognized one of the delivery people. It was Phil, one of the two guys who’d ended up calling the cops on us that day we’d all lain in the snow in front of his truck. But today he was in a much better mood. He seemed to eat up the attention. He grinned and waved to the crowd, and after wheeling the machine out of the cargo area he tipped his cap and bowed to the cameras. Which made us all cheer even louder. The TV crews loved it.
I wish I could have somehow recorded the giddy grins I saw the following Monday on the faces of so many kids—and some of the teachers, too. Sure, the school would have to return some of the scoreboard money to the soda company, but word was already out that the sports teams were going to make up the difference by selling chocolates.
At lunch Stella barely said a word. I knew she was trying not to gloat, but she looked like she might burst.
So now, Naomi, I’m grappling with a question: Where to end my part of the story? It’s a tough decision for me because, like I said before, I don’t think of stories as having any precise moment you can point to and say “right there is exactly when it all began” or “this is where everything finished.” Especially in real life, it doesn’t work like that. But I guess there’s no getting away from it, because wherever I happen to stop writing becomes, by definition, the end of the story, or at least my part in its telling.
So where to set down my pencil?
I suppose I could end with Mrs. Reznik, how after pressure from students and parents, she was eventually moved back to her old, quieter classroom, which was on the first floor but still not too far from the lemonade machine. When I asked her if she ever missed the symphony she just laughed. “It’s still there. Anytime I want to visit, I can. But I’m a music teacher now, and despite what certain people may want, they’ll have to drag me out kicking and screaming before I’ll retire!”
Or maybe I could write about Ray Beech, how with Dean about to graduate and move to Ohio for college, and with Scott Pickett uninterested in continuing Mudslide Crush, Ray decided to form his own band called the Vicious Circles, which featured Ray on the electric ukulele and Patty Norris on the timbales. They didn’t last long, though, because Patty quit in a huff after Ray told her she wasn’t keeping a steady beat and why doesn’t she at least take a couple lessons for godsakes? Patty Keane followed her out the door since she only agreed to sing because the other Patty was in the band.
But if I have to pick a single moment to end on, I guess I’ll choose a day that happened before any of that, one Sunday afternoon in mid-April that Brenda and I spent selling shell ashtrays at the church fair. In a fit of energy my grandmother had painted about fifty of them and we wheeled them all into town in our little red wagon. A bunch of people I didn’t even know stopped by our table only because they recognized me from the TV clip. And every one of our ashtrays sold.
On our way back home this grizzly old guy in a black coat, some random person on the street, walked right up to me, stuck his unshaven face directly in mine and growled, “You’re that plump girl with the voice like a brake problem.”
Now, another person might have been taken aback, insulted even, but I’m a reformed Virgo working hard to go with the flow, so I chose to see it as a compliment. This was merely one stranger expressing his brotherhood with another, a kind of hello. I smiled and then he smiled and we both continued on our separate ways.
Weird but okay.
Brenda and I rolled our empty wagon up our driveway and had just rounded the corner to our house when I noticed somebody sitting on the front step. It was Wen.
“Hey,” he called out.
“Hey yourself,” I called back. “What are you doing here?”
“Waiting for you. Hello, Brenda.”
As we came closer I noticed that he was holding something on his lap. Something small, furry and orange. I got near enough to see what it was.
It was a kitten.
“I brought this for you,” he said, stroking its head. “A present.”
I blinked at it. It was a little tabby, probably eight or ten weeks old. It flopped on Wen’s lap and peered back at me, sleepy and content.
“Where did it come from?”
“One of Sydney’s friends found her under a tree in her backyard. She asked around but nobody seems to know how she got there or where she belongs. She can’t keep her, though, and neither can we because Sydney’s allergic. If you don’t want her, I can figure something else out.”
I looked behind at Brenda and saw in her expression that the kitten had already won her heart. Then I crouched down low to get a better look. When our eyes met, her tiny face perked up. She was only a baby. She rolled onto her back and wiggled playfully.
“Of course we want her,” I said, watching her bat at some invisible object in the air. “Thank you, Wen. She’s lovely.”
I held out my hand and the kitten let me scratch behind her ears. Her body vibrated under my fingers. I already knew what to name her. She reminded me of Daisy Buchanan in The Great Gatsby, careless and charming, a beautiful fool.
Wen grinned and I felt a warm glow and an odd dizzy sensation. And then I remembered something my dad once wrote me about falling in love. He said the phrase was apt because falling is exactly what it can feel like, as if you’ve finally allowed yourself to let go of some safety bar you didn’t even know you were clinging to, and suddenly you find yourself tumbling towards the exciting unknown.
I picked up Daisy and stared into her face. I recognized at once that I’d found another kindred spirit. And I thought about all the people that had contributed, one way or another, to the events that led her to Brenda and me. Not just Sydney and her nameless friend, but also Charlie, Stella, Mo and of course Wen. And so many more, too—some that I knew and some that I would never know. I believe in a great and mysterious design. There’s no telling what’s ahead for any of us, but it feels right to be reminded that our lives are all connected, and that whether we realize it or not we are each playing an important part in some larger plan. Nothing happens without a reason.
And as I already mentioned, I don’t believe in accidents.
Leonard maneuvered the Volvo between the cars that lined the street and finally brought your Sista Stella and her family to a stop near Wen’s long driveway. It was a May afternoon, clear and warm. A beautiful day for a wedding.
My mom turned around. “Need help carrying anything, Stella?”
“No,” I said, popping open the door and grabbing my stuff. “It’s only my new uke and a little amp. Plus, you’re already late. Don’t worry, I got it.”
“Are you sure?” asked Leonard. “It’s no trouble.”
“I’ll be fine.”
My mother had decided to stay with the lab after all. Some of its initial investors had indeed backed out of the project, but following a round of frantic phone calls and a few all-nighters, my mom had been able to organize an impressive presentation that managed to win over a new batch of investors. So the quest for the perfect, world-saving Frankenstein plant would continue, at least for a few more months. Today, in fact, the company was having an open house for families. I would have gone too if I hadn’t had this other commitment. But it was great to see my mother busily doing what made her happy.
“Well, okay …” the biochemical crusader said, checking her watch. “Good luck and have fun, sweetie. And give Sydney and Norman our congratulations.”
Through the open backseat window, my brothers looked bored. Clea eyed me skeptically. “Wait, don’t go yet, Leonard,” she said. “That’s a long, pebble driveway Stella has to navigate, and it’s her first time in heels. This I gotta see.”
I ignored her. As I headed toward the house, Leonard called out to me before he pulled away. “Hold it high, Stella!” he said. “Raise it up!”
I smiled and waved again. Leonard was all right.
By that time the song “Everyday Monsters” was starting to get pretty regular airplay on WRIZ radio. Crazy as it sounds, the manager of Results May Vary, a local band successful enough to go on tour every now and then, called to ask if Lemonade Mouth wanted to open for them when they played the Waterplace Park amphitheater in July. You should have seen the look on Olivia’s face at the thought of that—the poor kid practically needed oxygen. After several long discussions the five of us finally agreed that we wouldn’t give in to any pressure to do anything unless everybody wanted to. And as far as Results May Vary went, well, Olivia was still thinking about it.
But of course, when Sydney and Wen’s dad asked if we would perform at their reception, how could anyone say no?
Before I even reached the top of the driveway (and despite Clea’s taunting, your firm-footed phenom was able to keep the wobbling down to a minimum), a blue Subaru pulled up and Mo and Charlie stepped onto the sidewalk. It’d felt weird at first that the two of them were going out, but now I was getting used to it. Mo’s parents, waving stoically at them from the front seats, seemed to be going through their own adjustment process, but I admired them for making the effort.
“Oh my God, Stella! Look at you!” called Mo, her jaw dropping.
I couldn’t help grinning. I wasn’t usually a dress person, but the previous day I’d suddenly decided to wear one. My mom had helped me pick it out—a shiny black, knee-length spaghetti-strap thing. Plus I was growing my hair out a little longer and only the night before had dyed it black, almost my natural color, to go with my outfit.
But even though my mother had rolled her eyes, I’d insisted on wearing a matching black Sista Slash dog collar too. I didn’t want anybody to think I’d sold out.
Still, it was a whole new look for me. And from the amazed expression on Mo’s and Charlie’s faces, and the sideways glances I was getting from the two young khaki-and-tie GQ guys whose eyes had followed me up the driveway, you would have thought nobody ever noticed I was a girl before.
All I could think to say was, “Thanks. You both look great too.” And they did. They looked glamorous together, like they stepped out of a magazine.
Mo’s dad honked goodbye before driving away. Then we all headed around the house to the big tent that was set up in the side yard. Clea had been right about one thing—those shoes weren’t exactly designed for comfort.
We sat in fold-up chairs arranged in rows in the grass. The ceremony was short and sweet. Sydney wore a simple white dress and sandals, with wildflowers in her hair. I couldn’t stop staring at Wen standing next to his dad, fidgeting nervously with the rings. With his glasses and his new blue suit, I could almost imagine him someday working at a bank, or maybe a government office—some real job. Scary.
A couple of people read poems and then Sydney and Norman recited their vows. They wrote their own. Even before they started talking, I could already sense Mrs. Reznik beginning to choke up to my left, but when Norman shed a tear in the middle of his speech, that was enough to send the old music teacher over the edge. I felt her shake quietly beside me. Mo reached out for Charlie’s hand, but I pretended not to notice that either. When Sydney made her speech about how lucky she felt that she’d finally found the love of her life, though, it must be admitted that even your dyslexic diva, normally the poster girl of self-control, may have succumbed just a little to the pomegranate she felt in her throat.
Not that I was about to admit it to anybody.
After the meal, a DJ played pop tunes for a while and the five of us went out on the dance floor together. It wasn’t my kind of music and I’m not much of a dancer, but in my new dress I felt like a different kind of girl, the kind that goes out there no matter what tune is playing. Still, there was no way I was attempting any fast moves in those heels, which by that time were killing me. I threw them off and danced in my bare feet. Moving around in my new dress, I sensed that it wasn’t only the two GQ guys who had their eyes on me now.
I had to admit I was having a great time.
When the cake came out, everybody went back to their seats. I hadn’t yet caught my breath when two giant bearded muscle guys who looked like they knew their way around a Harley Davidson leaned over from the next table.
“Oy, you’re Lemonade Mouth then, right?” asked one of them in an accent I couldn’t place. He was a fearsome fellow with a grizzled beard and two missing teeth.
“Uh … yes,” Mo said.
“I knew it!” He gave a broad, hairy grin and slapped Charlie hard on the shoulder. “Chuffed to meet you. Spank and I are ape-nuts about you guys!”
His friend, an even larger specimen with a shaved head and an alarming scar across his left cheek, held a little flowered teacup in his thick fingers. He nodded bashfully. “Can we get you lot to autograph a napkin?”
So our heroes started up a conversation with them. Turned out, they were Spank and Dave, friends of Sydney’s who’d flown all the way from Australia to come to the wedding. She’d sent them a CD and, at least according to them, they were big fans.
“We play Live at the Bash! all the time at home, don’t we, Spank? What’s the name of that one that always brings tears to your eyes?”
“Nancy,” his friend said solemnly as he skewered his cake with a tiny fork. “Skinny Nancy.”
“Right, mate! That’s the one. Bonzer, that is. Lovely.”
I couldn’t help smiling. It was nice to be appreciated.
After the cake part was over, Mrs. Reznik went away to chat with Wen’s dad. Sydney strolled over and told us we could start playing any time we wanted. Almost immediately, somebody called her away and then it was just the five of us again. And that’s when I looked at the faces around the table and suddenly felt as if everything about each of us was changing right before my eyes. Maybe it was just the novelty that we were all dressed up and at a wedding together. Maybe it was Mo, the way she’d spent the afternoon sitting back and laughing with the rest of us. I’d never seen her so relaxed. Or maybe it was the way Olivia and Wen kept looking at each other like they shared a secret. Whatever it was, I felt like we were on a rollercoaster ride and there was no getting off.
We made our way to the corner of the dance floor where our instruments already waited. I grabbed my ukulele and took my position. I looked out at the audience and felt the thrill of their applause. And then we started playing. Soon I felt calm again. I knew I was exactly where I belonged, up there with my friends making the music we all loved.
And I was reminded once again how a song really can change the world.