“WOW!” KARLEY SAID when Emma came out of her bedroom the following Friday evening, dressed in the figure-hugging, scarlet, off-the-shoulder, below-the-knee cocktail dress one of the fancy designer boutiques on Fifth Avenue had sent over earlier, per Thad’s promised orders. And it wasn’t just the dress, either. There’d been shoes and jewelry and even a small beaded handbag to go with it.
Part of her wondered exactly what kind of game he was playing—and if she was bold enough to go along with it. They hadn’t really spoken much since the kiss at his place, other than quick texts and calls about the carnival, so she had no clue where any of this was going. She’d thought about canceling, but no. Tonight was important for the carnival, so she needed to be there.
And another part of her told her to just enjoy the ride. She worked hard. She deserved some fun. And really, it was all just fun, right? This thing between them couldn’t actually go anywhere long-term. Their lives were too different. They wanted different things. She loved her independence too much.
Emma did a little spin on her red high heels and grinned at her reflection in the mirror. Okay. Fine. She did feel like she’d been visited by a fairy godmother this afternoon, instead of just the normal delivery guy. And damn if she didn’t like it. Probably more than she should.
After a final adjustment to her dress, she stepped out into the living room and cleared her throat to get her sister’s attention. “So, you like it? You don’t think I look silly all fancied up this way?”
“Silly is the last word I’d use to describe you, sis.” Karley looked up from where she sat on the sofa, watching TV and typing on her phone, her expression suitably impressed. “Wow! You look like you’re ready for the red carpet or something.”
“Thanks.” Emma blushed and smoothed a hand over the silky fabric of her gown. She’d never worn a garment so expensive in her life and she rarely had a chance to dress up these days, so tonight was special. And important. In more ways than one. She knew it was important to convince the donors to give money at the fundraiser and she needed to look the part of a wealthy, successful project coordinator in order to do that. But part of her also secretly hoped Thad liked how she looked, too.
They’d only texted each other since the night in his office when they’d put up the decorations and then... Lord help her, Emma’s whole body still tingled at the thought of their steamy second kiss.
It had been good. Really good.
Then things had cooled off fast between them.
At first, she’d been hurt. But then she’d remembered what he’d told her about himself and his past, and she understood why he was hesitant. She wasn’t ready to jump into anything either, to be truthful. She’d dated before, off and on, and been with other men. Nothing serious, though. Emma was too focused on her career and building a life for herself and her sister to go all gaga over some man. Then along came Thad Markson, and for some odd reason, he’d ticked her boxes. Gotten around her barriers and laid her vulnerabilities bare. At first glance he wasn’t the type she usually went for—funny, kind, outgoing. But his brokenness called to the healer in her. The very brusqueness and broodiness that drove others away drew her like a moth to a flame. Maybe because she’d suffered great loss early in life, too. Maybe because she knew what it was like to forge ahead alone, making up for what you lacked. And maybe it was just the fact that deep down she knew he hurt and she wanted to let him know he wasn’t alone...
“Ready to wheel and deal for your charity event?” Karley asked, breaking into her thoughts.
“I think so.” Emma shook off the pensiveness that had settled over her as she’d thought about her complicated relationship with Thad and walked over to sit on the opposite end of the sofa to wait for the driver to arrive. “I’m not really a big schmoozer, but if it means being able to grant Ricky’s wish, I’ll try.” She checked her watch. “Are you set for dinner? Okay here by yourself for a couple hours?”
“I’m fine, sis.” Karley managed not to roll her eyes at Emma, though it was implied in her tone. “Stop worrying about me, Em. I’ll be eighteen in a few months, the same age you were when Mom and Dad died. Practically an adult. By this time next year, I’ll be away at college and doing my own thing.”
“Don’t remind me.”
“So.” Her sister shifted slightly on the cushion to face Emma, tucking one leg beneath her. “You like this guy, huh?”
“What? No.” Emma did her best to hide her smile and failed miserably. “We’re just partners on this project, that’s all.”
“Uh-huh. Sure.” Karley sounded completely unconvinced. “Well, whatever it is, I’m happy for you. Haven’t seen you glow this much in a long time.”
“I’m not glowing!” Emma looked up sharply, her cheeks prickling with shock. “Am I?”
“Oh, yeah. Definitely glow happening there.” Karley gestured toward Emma and grinned. “You deserve it, sis. Go for it.”
Before Emma could say anything else, a knock sounded on their apartment door. Damn. Her driver. She took a deep breath and stood, still not sure how she felt about her attraction to Thad being so obvious to everyone. “I need to go,” she said, pulling her coat from the closet and slipping it on. “I’ll be back by eleven.”
“Don’t hurry on my account,” Karley said as Emma grabbed her tiny evening bag and opened the door. “Have fun!”
“I’ll try.” She started out into the hallway with the driver, then said over her shoulder. “Be good!”
“Be better!” Karley shouted back. It was kind of their ritual.
She followed the driver downstairs and thanked him for holding the back door of the black limo open for her. Emma climbed inside and looked over to see Thad across from her, looking like he’d stepped right out of a high-fashion modeling shoot in his tailored tux and crisp white shirt. Then the driver closed the door, and the overhead light went out, leaving them in sudden darkness.
“Good evening, Emma,” he said from the shadows. “You look lovely. I knew that color would suit you well.”
“You picked this out yourself?” she asked as the limo pulled away from the curb and merged into traffic. “I thought you had surgeries booked all week.”
“I did.” He turned to look out the window beside him at the passing Christmas lights. “But I gave the personal shopper strict instructions on what I wanted and your sizes. It looks like she did an excellent job.”
“Thank you for all this,” Emma said, clutching her tiny bag like a shield in her lap. “It’s very generous of you.”
“It’s necessary to make a good impression on the people we’ll meet tonight.” They stopped at a light, and he looked over at her again, those icy eyes of his skimming over her like a physical touch. A shudder of awareness went through her before she could stop it. Emma hugged her coat tighter around herself. “Not that you aren’t beautiful the way you usually are. It’s just I find presenting a certain image acts as additional armor.”
I know. Emma bit back those words and swallowed them down. Thad exuded a low-key disdain to keep others at bay. It worked a lot of the time, too. Except with her, because she saw through it. Armor was a good word to describe Thad’s attitude. Push others away before they did the same to you. The fact that Emma was here tonight felt even more special, taken in that light.
“Well, I appreciate you thinking of me.”
“I always think of you these days, Emma.”
Oh boy. Her chest tightened at his quiet words; she was thankful he couldn’t see her face because it had to be as red as her dress now. He couldn’t mean... Unless he did. Had he been thinking about their kisses as much as Emma had? Imagining what might have happened if they hadn’t stopped there? If he’d led her up to his bedroom and locked the door and...
Inside she flailed with want, struggling to keep her breath calm.
As they rode through blue-collar Queens, Thad glanced at the passing scenery. “So, this is your neighborhood?”
“Yes.” Emma smiled, grateful for the mundane topic. “Long way from your Fifth Avenue town house, but we like it.”
“We?”
“My sister and I.”
“Right,” he said, frowning at her. “Karley. How old is she again?”
“Seventeen, going on thirty.” Emma’s grinned with pride. “She’s great. Straight-A student. Working toward a full scholarship to Howard University after she graduates.”
“That’s impressive.” Thad shifted a bit in his seat, light filtering in through the window illuminated the front of his tux jacket, reminding her again of his broad shoulders and tight torso. “What does she want to study in college?”
“Premed,” Emma said. “God help her.”
Thad chuckled. “It’s challenging, no lie. But worth it if it’s the right fit for you.”
“I think it is, for her.” She met his gaze. “But no matter what she wanted to do, I’d support her.”
“I’m sure you would.”
The ride to the small event center was quiet after that, Emma’s stomach filling with nervous butterflies. Not so much because of the fundraiser, but because of the man across from her. She kept reminding herself that this was not a date. Though, wow. It really did feel like one.
Once they arrived, the driver held the door for Thad, then he came around himself to help Emma out. He took her hand and kept hold of it, his grip firm and warm. Comforting. After making their way inside and checking their coats at the booth near the entrance, they walked into a banquet room decorated like a winter wonderland. White linen tablecloths, huge bouquets of white roses and lilies and paperwhites adorning the center of each table. From the sparkling champagne flutes and real silverware to the dangling lights and iridescent streamers, the entire place screamed wealth. There was even a small string quartet in one corner playing live Christmas music. Emma hesitated on the threshold, taking it all in. Despite her wishes, it really did feel like a fairy tale.
“Everything okay?” Thad asked near her ear, his expression concerned. “You look a bit flushed.”
Any warmth now was because of the tickle of his breath on her cheek, the brush of his body against hers as they walked, the reassuring squeeze of his fingers. She had it bad for him, and that wasn’t good.
Stop. Enjoy tonight for what it is.
She took a deep breath, then smiled. “I’m good. There are so many people here.”
“Yes.” Thad winked. “But you’re the only one here with me.”
Those words surrounded her like a fuzzy blanket as they entered the room and Thad introduced her to person after person, enough to make her head swim after a while. So many of the city’s powerful and elite. Given what he’d told her about his family and his father’s scandals, Emma knew what a big deal it was for Thad to be here tonight, and she wanted to support him in any way she could, so she stayed by his side. He put on a good show of being above it all, but still. It seemed everyone wanted to greet him, talk to him, be around him. Everyone carefully avoiding the subject of Thad’s father, she noticed, which Emma was grateful for. Thad even managed to get several of the guests to commit to sizable donations to their charity project.
They got a short break during dinner, where they were partially hidden from the others at their table by the large centerpiece and out of the immediate spotlight. She glanced over at Thad then and noticed the tightness at the corners of his mouth and eyes he couldn’t hide, showing the toll being here had taken on him. Emma placed her hand over his chilled one on the table and squeezed. He was picking at their delicious chicken and roasted veggies. From the artful arrangement of the food on the plate, she was sure it was gourmet expensive, but she’d have been just as happy with a burger and fries.
“Here,” she said, picking up a nearby basket of fancy whole-grain artisan rolls. “Eat one of these. You should, to keep your sugar balanced. And have some water. You look stressed.”
“I’m fine.” He shook his head and exhaled slowly. “I’m just looking forward to leaving.”
“I understand.” She squeezed his hand again. “And thank you.”
“For what?”
“For being here tonight. Hopefully, we’ll raise all the funds to make Ricky’s wish come true.”
“We will. I’ll make sure of it.”
After the delicious dinner the quartet played several holiday-themed ballads, and couples moved around the dance floor set up in one corner. Emma watched them sway to the music while Thad chatted up yet another donor. She lost herself in the beauty of the music until Thad held out his hand.
“Care to dance?”
“Oh.” She blinked at him a moment, her heart tripping over itself. “I don’t think...”
Not a date. Not a date. Not a date.
“I do,” he said, taking her hand and leading her toward the dance floor. And damn if she didn’t feel like a princess being led by her Prince Charming. Or Grinch Charming in this case. Though it was getting harder and harder to associate Thad with that green cartoon figure.
Thad took her in his arms just as the band started playing a rendition of the waltz from Anastasia. Even with her high heels, she had to look up at him.
“Have I mentioned how beautiful you look tonight?” he asked, his gaze skimming over her. “Because you do, Emma. You really do. Scrubs don’t do you justice.”
“Yes, you have. And thank you, Thad.” They continued around the floor, him deftly steering them around the other couples around them. Emma was impressed. “You’re a good dancer.”
“My mother gave me lessons when I was young. It’s like riding a bike.” Thad glanced down at her and almost smiled before admitting, “One of those things you don’t really forget.”
Eventually the music changed to her bittersweet favorite, “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas.” With a contented sigh, she laid her cheek against Thad’s chest, soaking in the magic of the evening.
They swayed together, bodies brushing, his heat melting her like a marshmallow in hot cocoa.
“You always smell so good,” he said, nuzzling the top of her head. “Like cinnamon and roses.”
She grinned, murmuring against his tux lapel, “You smell good, too.”
From the corner of her eye, she spotted several of the people they’d talked with earlier watching them with curiosity. Emma straightened.
Thad frowned down at her. “What?”
“We should be careful,” she said, glancing around. “Everyone will think we’re a couple.”
He stilled, scowling. “I don’t do couples, Emma.”
Despite knowing this wasn’t a date or anything serious, her stomach still sank with disappointment. “I didn’t say we were one. Just that people might think that.”
It was silly to be hurt by his words. Emma knew that. She had no right getting upset over something that was never meant to be in the first place, regardless of the fairy-tale setting. Still, her heart ached and her temples throbbed. Fine. Maybe she’d let herself believe there was the possibility of something between her and Thad after they’d kissed. Anybody would, right? But she wasn’t a fool. She didn’t belong in his world of glittering banquets and fancy houses and expensive clothes. She was just a normal woman with a normal life. If Thad wasn’t interested in that, in her, she wouldn’t try to convince him otherwise. He could take her or leave her. She didn’t need to change for a man. She had plenty going on in her life without him. She was more than fine with who she was.
Emma stepped out of his arms and crossed her own. “We should probably go. It’s getting late.”
He studied her, clearly confused. “I’m not sure what’s happening here.”
“Neither am I. And that’s the problem.” She walked back toward their table, eyes prickling. She refused to cry. Emma never cried. Not since the day of her parents’ funeral. Thad followed behind her, his heat at her back a constant reminder of what she couldn’t have, shouldn’t have, but wanted desperately anyway.
They said their goodbyes and thanked the people who had donated to Ricky’s cause, then went to get their coats. Thad helped Emma into hers, then kept his hands on her shoulders, taking a deep breath. “You’re right.”
Now she was confused, frowning up at him over her shoulder. “About what?”
“Us. This. Whatever it is.” He gave a vague wave between them before walking her out to their limo parked at the curb once more. Thad held the door for her, then climbed inside to sit across from her again. “We came here tonight to fundraise, but...” He huffed out a breath, then stared out the window next to him as they drove through the New York night. “I don’t know. Something’s changed.”
“How?” Emma asked, feeling like if they didn’t get it out now, they never would.
Thad shook his head, still staring out the window beside him at the crowds gathered at Rockefeller Center’s ice rink. “I can’t stop thinking about you, Emma. About that kiss in my study.”
The butterflies inside her swarmed and her throat constricted, making words difficult. But she managed to whisper the truth burning a hole inside her. “Me neither.”
He moved then, sitting beside her, the length of his body pressed against hers, the sound of his breath as ragged as her pulse. “I want you, Emma. I haven’t stopped wanting you since the night in my office. Seeing you now, looking so beautiful and holding you as we danced. I know we shouldn’t, because I meant what I said about relationships. I’m not good at them and I don’t do them.”
The pain in his voice overshadowed any sting in his words. He was broken inside. Broken and beautiful and so beyond anything she’d ever experienced before, she was completely hooked. Emma didn’t need a cheesy holiday film ending, she realized. She just needed Thad. More than she’d needed anyone in a long, long time.
She cupped his cheek, forcing him to meet her gaze. “What do you want?”
“Emma,” he whispered against her forehead, his jaw flexing beneath her palm. Thad pulled back to meet her gaze, icy eyes flashing fire, possessive and primal and potent.
She slipped her other hand around his neck, toying with the soft hair at his nape, twirling the silky dark strands around her finger. “I don’t know what’s happening here or how any of this will turn out, but I do know that I want to find out. With you.”
For the hundredth time that week, Thad wondered what in the hell he was doing as Emma texted her sister to let her know she might be late and to not wait up and he let the driver know to head to his town house instead of Queens.
But it was so difficult to think rationally, to keep his cool, to push his emotions aside when Emma was this close to him. She was stunningly beautiful, soft and warm and giving. And she wanted him.
Throat tight, he focused on keeping some semblance of sanity in the back of that car despite the desperation to have her clawing inside him. This was no way to be together the first time—frantic and fumbling in the back seat where anyone could see them. No. If this was going to happen with Emma, he wanted it to be perfect.
So he needed to keep his mind off the sweet scent of her washing over him in the tight confines of the limo. Speaking of tight, his pants were becoming increasingly uncomfortable as they constrained a certain part of his anatomy responding directly to the press of Emma’s thigh against the side of his. Not helpful. What also wasn’t helpful was how each time he closed his eyes, he pictured Emma gazing up at him as they’d danced, looking at him like she saw only the good, the right, the admirable in him. Worse, it made him yearn to be that man for her. Like it was that easy.
And maybe he would be with her by his side.
But no. There’d be no sides, no support, because this would only be a one-night affair. That was all it could ever be.
Right?
Right. Because Emma deserved better than him. If she stayed by his side, Thad feared his father had been right. That he was truly worthless and weak and he’d drain all the good right out of whatever this was between them. Not on purpose; things happened. They always did with him. She’d told him people called him a Grinch at the hospital, and they were probably right. He lived alone—except for Everett and Baxter—he rarely let anyone close to him for a reason. He’d become used to the self-imposed isolation.
At least until Emma had arrived.
Now Thad wasn’t so sure. About anything.
“Done,” Emma said, slipping her phone back into her impossibly tiny purse, then kissing his cheek. “Karley’s alerted and has secured herself in the apartment for the night.”
Thad then took a deep breath, wondering if the adrenaline racing through his veins like Santa’s reindeer was a sign of excitement or caution. Ten minutes later they pulled up to the curb on Fifth Avenue and the driver opened Thad’s door for him, jarring him from his thoughts. “We’ve arrived, sir.”
“Thank you.” Thad climbed out and adjusted his topcoat, his heart slamming against his rib cage so hard he feared it might burst out onto the sidewalk. He was no virgin. He’d been with plenty of women in his time, but this thing with Emma felt different. Perhaps because he’d told her things about himself, his deepest, darkest secrets, and instead of running away or breaking his confidence, she’d accepted him. His chest squeezed tight with what that might mean, for him and for the future.
Thad walked around to open Emma’s door and help her out of the vehicle. The same crackling chemistry between them flared hotter, and suddenly there was no more time to debate his actions. He needed Emma upstairs, in his bed. Now. They hurried inside, Thad bypassing Everett with a muttered word about his butler taking the rest of the night off, and Thad took her to his private suite on the top floor.
“Oh my!” Emma gaped at his luxurious surroundings as he shut and locked the door behind them. This room was his sanctuary, the place in the town house he spent the most time, other than his office on the third floor. He’d had it redecorated a few years earlier, with lots of darker colors and soothing fabrics. Everett had lit a fire, as usual, and turned down the white satin sheets on Thad’s huge king-size poster bed. “This place is like a dream world.” Her grin turned wicked, and his taut body tightened even more. “A fantasy.”
Thad removed his coat and draped it over the back of a chair, then took Emma’s as well and did the same with it. “I don’t bring many people up here.”
“I feel honored,” she said, her tone teasing.
Thad wasn’t a man who was teased often, but from Emma he loved it. Loved her wonderful, giving nature. In fact, the more time Thad spent with her, the more he craved. She was like a drug, and he was addicted, for better or worse.
Emma believed in the goodness of humanity. She gave of herself without asking for anything in return. The cruelty of Thad’s father had taught him differently. But for a few shining moments, Emma made him feel better, less alone. Made him believe again. Even as she made him forget everything else but her.
And that’s how he knew he should stay away. Because if he wasn’t careful, he’d start believing those things as well and his armor would be gone. He couldn’t allow that to happen. He feared it was already too late.
“Come here.” He pulled her into his arms and kissed her, hoping to stem the tide of helplessness flooding his system. Control. He needed control here, even as the sweetness of her lips threatened to rob him of it. She gasped and he swept his tongue inside, tasting her as he slid his hands down her body, touching, caressing, claiming.
Instead of pulling away, though, Emma met him kiss for kiss, tangle for tangle, pressing against him, holding him tighter, as if she wanted to remember everything about him, too. She shoved his tux jacket off his shoulders, leaving it in a pile on the floor. Undid his bow tie and tossed it aside.
When they finally pulled back for breath, Thad whispered, “I want you so much.”
She slid her leg up the outside of his thigh in answer, taking that red dress with it.
“God, Emma,” Thad groaned. All that smooth flesh exposed for him made him crazy to touch it. He nuzzled her throat, nibbling down to the base of her neck. The heat of her scorched his lips, bringing the simmering need within him to a full boil. His steady surgeon’s fingers fumbled for the zipper at the back of her dress, drawing it open as she growled low and buried her face in his throat, loving how responsive Emma was to his touch.
“Hurry.” She wriggled against him as his hand slipped inside her dress to stroke her exposed back. “Please...”
“You like that?” He smiled against the side of her neck, then licked the raging pulse at the base of her throat. Emma shivered, her head thrown back, eyes closed in wild abandon. “Tell me what you want.”
“You. I want you.”
That’s all Thad needed to hear. The red dress slid off Emma, pooling around her feet, and for a second, he just took in the sight of her in only her lingerie and heels. The image would be seared into his mind forever. He pulled her back into his arms to rain kisses on her shoulders. “You’re perfect, Emma. The closest thing I’ll ever find to heaven.”
God, he couldn’t remember ever wanting anyone else this much.
She took his hand and led him to the bed. “Lie down.”
Thad did, swallowing hard when she climbed atop him to straddle him. Emma made quick work of his shirt, running her hands over his torso as if to memorize every inch of him. Then she kissed the middle of his chest, right over his thundering heart, and Thad melted like a snowman in a furnace.
He thought of facts, figures, medical journals. Anything to blunt his need, anything to make this last longer, because he wanted this to go all night. Wanted to kiss every inch of her.
But where Emma was concerned, he only had the time setting—now!
Ending her sweet torture, he rolled her beneath him and took charge, pinning her hands beside her head, enveloped in her legs around his waist, the heat between her thighs rocking against his hardness.
“I need you, Thad,” she urged. “Please.”
“I need you, too, Emma.” More than he’d ever imagined possible. Rolling slightly to his side, Thad quickly removed Emma’s bra and panties and his own pants and boxer briefs, leaving them both naked, hot and panting. His lips went to her breast, teasing her nipple with his tongue, while her hand slid down to close around his length, making him shudder and groan. So good. He kissed lower, making love to her with his lips and tongue until she arched and cried out her first release.
It was all too much. It would never be enough.
When Thad could take no more, he rolled away to grab a condom from his nightstand drawer and put it on before stretching out atop her once more. He rested his weight on his forearms on either side of her head, his gaze locked on her sated one, his tip poised at her wet entrance. “Ready.”
“So ready,” she said, then pulled his mouth to hers for another kiss.
Thad sank into her in one long thrust, savoring the tight heat of her body around his. Then he held still, allowing her to adjust to him until she grew restless and demanded more.
“You feel...” she said, gasping as he began a slow, steady rhythm that had them both careering toward ecstasy all too soon. Her hands were on his back, stroking his skin in slow, rough caresses before she dug her nails into his butt, meeting him thrust for thrust. Thad felt like every nerve ending in his body was on fire, demanding release of a powerful, stormy, wild hunger that stole his breath.
Emma cried out again, riding the waves of her second climax and pushing Thad past the point of no return. Soon, he let go as well, throbbing with his own pleasure.
Eventually, they floated back down to earth, limp and tangled together in his big bed, his head on her chest, her fingers in his hair. Reluctantly, Thad got up to use the restroom, then returned to pull a limp, sated Emma into his side. She sighed and cuddled closer.
“That was...” She kissed the pulse point at the base of his throat. “Wow.”
“Hmm.” He closed his eyes, his head blissfully clear and blank for a while. “Agreed. When do you need to get home?”
“Soon,” she whispered, kissing him again. “But not yet.”
“Good.” Thad smiled as he drifted to sleep. Eventually Everett would call her a cab and she’d go back to her life and he to his, but for now, Emma was here with him, and he wanted to enjoy it for as long as it lasted.