Cassie
The second I arrived back in Chastity Falls it was like I could breathe again. Seeing my family had been nice, but I’d missed this place.
I’d missed Dennis.
But I still didn’t know what I wanted to do.
I’d spent the whole journey trying to figure it out. I knew I still wanted to graduate and become a teacher. But every time I pictured myself standing in front of a class of eight-year-olds or pictured myself grading their work in my apartment, it didn’t fill me with the sense of satisfaction and excitement it once had.
Over the next few days, students started to trickle back to campus. Lydia and Nate wouldn’t be back for another couple of days and I couldn’t face Elena and Tyson’s excessive PDAs, so I hung out in my dorm room. But being alone with my thoughts was a dangerous thing and eventually, I needed air. I hadn’t even known where I was going until I found myself standing outside Ana’s old dorm room.
“Hey,” I said as the door swung open. “I heard what happened.” I still couldn’t believe that Jackson had ended their relationship, and I knew there had to be more to it. But that wasn’t why I was here. Not really.
“Yeah. You missed out on all the fun.” With lips pressed into a thin line, Anna sighed.
“Can I come in?”
She looked down at her pajamas. “I was just going to bed.”
Before I could stop myself, I’d reached for her hand and squeezed it gently. “Please. I won’t be long.”
Relief flooded me when Ana nodded and stepped to the side to let me pass. It was awkward. We both felt it. Ever since Ana caught me and Dennis outside the party, I’d been avoiding her, and I knew she’d been doing the same. It was a conversation neither of us wanted to have.
“How did you do it?” The words spewed out before I could stop myself.
“Do what?” she asked, confusion shining in her eyes.
“The secrets, lies, all of it?”
“Oh, that,” she said quietly. “I didn’t have a choice, I guess.”
Grabbing a cushion off the bed, I dropped to the floor and crossed my legs in front of myself, hugging the pillow to my chest. “Didn’t have a choice?”
I knew what she meant. Jackson had swept her away before she could break free and protect her heart. It was the same for me. Despite all the warnings, all the hurt, Dennis had caught me in his web. But I needed her to say it. I needed her to tell me it would be okay. That we could get through this.
“Jackson was it for me. I knew that pretty early on.” Ana cleared her throat. “Even when I found out who he was, I didn’t want to walk away. How he made me feel, after everything I’d been through, was more important than who he or his family was.”
“But you got hurt.” It wasn’t supposed to sound so judgmental. But even now, after everything, I couldn’t deny that this wasn’t the life I imagined for myself. Mom and Dad had reminded me enough over the holidays about my ‘plan’. The one that didn’t include Dennis Hayes and a life of secrets and lies.
“I can’t explain it, but when you meet the right person, you’ll just know, and nothing or no one will keep you apart.”
“I’m in love with him.”
But love wasn’t supposed to hurt like this, was it?
“I know.”
Sadness flashed across her face and I spluttered, “What? How?”
“Because I know you, and I know you wouldn’t be involved with someone like Dennis unless it was serious.”
Someone like Dennis.
“What do I do?” my voice cracked with desperation and Ana sighed deeply.
“I can’t tell you that,” she said. “Relationships are personal, Cass. But if you look into your future and see Dennis in it, then don’t just give up on that. Fight for it and never let go.”
“And if we want different things? If we’re too different?”
Because I wanted Dennis, but I also wanted a career in teaching, and a little house in the suburbs with two kids and a committed husband. I wanted the whole damn fairytale.
Ana stared at me with a mix of sympathy and pity. I didn’t like it. She was supposed to reassure me, to tell me that despite our differences me and Dennis would get through it; that we would find a way to be together and make it work. But the words never came. Instead, Ana said, “The course of true love never did run smooth.”
And I realized that this wasn’t a decision or choice someone else could make for me. It was one I had to make for myself.
What did I want, and more importantly, what was I willing to sacrifice to get it?
I checked my reflection one more time, tucking a stray wisp of hair behind my ear. Nerves carved their way through my stomach, but I inhaled a deep breath. You can do this. I had to at least try.
We deserved that much.
Grabbing my purse, I opened my door and froze. “Dennis?”
“Hey.” His eyes darted around me and I wanted to grab his jaw and make him look at me. I needed him to look at me. But I couldn’t move, still shocked at the sight of him, outside my dorm room, in the middle of the day.
“Can I come in?” he said, finally settling his gaze on my face. I nodded, unable to speak.
The door clicked shut behind him and he stood awkwardly. When his eyes worked their way down my body, he said, “Did I catch you at a bad time?”
“I, hmm, I was just going out.”
“Oh. I can come back another time.” He turned to leave.
“Wait.” I reached out and touched his arm, a trail of shocks zipping up my skin. “I was coming to see you.”
“You were?”
The corners of my lips lifted in a smile and I nodded.
“Fuck, I missed you. I missed you so much, Cass.” He closed the distance between us until he was staring down at me. One of his hands glided up my neck and buried itself in my hair and my eyes fluttered shut.
“What are you doing here, Dennis?” I whispered. He leaned in close, his lips brushing featherlight across mine.
“The same thing you were doing.”
My arms wound around his neck as his lips sealed over mine. Dennis curled his free arm around my back, dipping it underneath my butt and pulled me up against him. “I fucked up, baby. I need you. I need you more than you’ll ever know.” His kisses became frantic as he carried us to the bed. But he didn’t put me down. Instead, he held on for dear life. Pouring his apology into every stroke of his tongue.
“I love you.” He gathered my hair into his fist, tugging my head away from him. “I love you so much it hurts.”
Tears rushed up my throat, burning the backs of my eyes. I blinked them away, overwhelmed by his declaration. “I love you too. I love you so much, Dennis.”
He clawed at my dress, shoving the soft material up my thighs, running his fingers over my skin until his found my panties. I gasped when he pushed them to the side, curling a finger deep inside of me. “Oh, God,” I moaned, clinging to him like he was my oxygen.
“I’ve got you, Cass. And I’m never letting go.”
Dennis added a second finger, trailing warm, wet kisses along my shoulder, sucking and nibbling the skin there. It was messy and clumsy and wild, but when my stomach coiled tightly and my body began to tremble with pleasure, everything melted away. I floated back down to earth just as Dennis laid me on the bed and began shedding his clothes. His hoodie and t-shirt went first, then his jeans and boxer briefs, and then he was hovering over me.
“I have dreamed about this moment so many times.” He inched my panties off my legs and settled back between my thighs, clasping my hands in his and pinning them above my head.
“No going back,” he whispered against my lips and I smiled.
“No going back.”
Dennis pushed inside of me and I cried out, hitching my legs around his waist, needing to be closer. It had taken losing each other to realize what we wanted. And every stroke, every thrust, every moan was a promise to us.
We knew it wouldn’t be easy.
We knew there would be more heartache in the future.
We knew we had to learn to live in each other’s worlds.
But home is where the heart is… and my heart belonged to Dennis Hayes.