The Gift

 

 

I felt silly. Incredibly silly. I was lying in the slightly damp

grass, staring up at the stars. With my luck, I would catch a chill and get pneumonia. My seventy-year-old grandmother lay in a similar position next to me. It was Spring. Even though it was warm, the air still carried a bite. Yes, I was definitely going to catch pneumonia.

“Abby, I feel stupid.”

“Be quiet, Ophelia, and quit fighting it.”

Abby was right, I was fighting it. Had been fighting for it so long, I didn’t know if I could stop. All my life, I’d been running from this. The events of the past year had made me realize I couldn’t run any longer. Now at age thirty-three, I had to accept who and what I was. Be it blessing or curse.

“Ophelia, close your eyes and empty your mind,” Abby said gently. “Feel the air around you. Feel how soft and welcoming it is? Do you hear the sounds of the night? The rhythm?”

As Abby spoke, the air whispered over my skin. The hair on my arm stood up. I didn’t know if it was from the chill or from something else. Alarmed, I opened my eyes to see the stars shimmering above me.

“Abby, I don’t think I’m ready for this,” I said, turning my head to look at her. In the darkness, I could barely make out her features, but I felt the sense of peace emanating from her.

“Of course you are, dear, past ready. We should have done this long ago.”

She was right. In the arrogance of my youth, I had resisted her efforts to help me. As a result, it led to disaster. I had spent the last four years of my life shut inside myself. Rather than walk through my life unprotected, I’d built an impenetrable wall around myself. Abby was the only one I had let inside. I’d avoided all other human companionship. I kept everyone at arm’s length. I still functioned and went through my normal daily routine, but I was empty. Abby was the only one who knew of this emptiness.

“Just relax. There’s nothing to harm you. Let your heart guide you to what you seek,” Abby said with certainty.

I closed my eyes again, willing my mind to do as she said. My body was so tense, I felt stiff. I concentrated on relaxing each muscle. First in my toes, then my legs, my hands, my arms as the tension leached out of my body. When I reached my shoulders and neck, I felt the lethargy steal over me. I heard the insects humming. My mind drifted and the humming became quicker, more intense. The sound changed in depth, it was deeper, more of a thrumming now. It seeped into my brain.

“Now open your eyes, Ophelia, and really look at what you see,” Abby instructed.

At first, I saw nothing in the dark, then slowly the world around me began to change. The world seemed to take on a surrealistic glow. I could see each star as an individual light instead of a part of a whole. The tree limbs above me had a light, an aura, defining each separate branch. Every leaf glimmered with a pulsing energy. The fireflies made a dizzy pattern above my head. At first the pattern was random, then tighter, spiraling upward. My own private light show. Dazzled, I felt no fear, only a deep sense of contentment. Abby reached out and took my hand and the energy arced between us. We were at one with the world around us.

“Now, Ophelia, take the energy and extend it around you, a bubble, not a wall. Still see the world, feel the power, but don’t let it touch you,” Abby whispered.

I imagined a thin iridescent bubble. It totally encompassed me. It was comforting and warm. Inside it I was completely safe. Nothing broke the surface unless I wished it. I was a part of all around me but not overwhelmed by it. I could marvel at its’ beauty without my senses going on overload. I was secure in my cocoon. For the first time in a long while, I felt free. The darkness that had haunted me was gone.

I don’t know how long it lasted. I had lost all sense of time. But slowly, softly, the energy decreased until finally it was only a sigh in the night. I sat up, astounded by what I had just witnessed.

“That was amazing,” I whispered, my face filled with joy.

Abby nodded wisely. “It won’t always be as spectacular as this was tonight, Ophelia. With practice, you can use what you have just learned to guard your mind. You can shut out the vibrations and the feelings of others, letting them in only when you wish it...” She hesitated. “I’ll warn you, the visions won’t always come to you in the way you want and some will be very unsettling. But with this, you will have some control. You won’t always be battered by the thoughts of others.”

It was unbelievable, to be able to be with people, touch them, and not have their emotions invade my mind. Abby had given me the greatest gift I’d ever received.

“I don’t know how I can ever thank you, Abby,” I said helping her to her feet and giving her a quick hug.

“There’s no need to thank me, dear. Just use your gift wisely to help, not harm.” She smiled in the darkness. “Long ago, my mother guided me as I have guided you tonight. Someday, you also will be called on to do the same,” she said, pouring the flask of wine on the ground in thanksgiving.

I knew she was right. You see, Abby and I come from a long line of women sometimes blessed, sometimes cursed, with the sight. Some call us wise women, some call us witch.