SADIE HELD JAMES close as if she could physically take some of the burden from him that he was carrying.
He wasn’t wrong. She hated to admit it, but she had had that same image of James and his wife whenever she saw them or heard about them. Even though she knew every relationship wasn’t perfect, it was hard to see couples like James and Tiffany or Charlie and Davis and not think things were all good. In the time she’d spent with James, she could see he carried the weight of grief, the pain of his wife’s death unimaginable. And then add to it the heartache of losing her to another man even before she was gone.
She could try to grasp what he was feeling, but all Sadie wanted in that moment was to be a comfort to him. It was clear in how he told his story that he not only feared judgment, but judged himself to a point he didn’t deserve.
His arms came around her, his cheek resting on top of her head.
Sadie’s body melted into his, her heartbeat combining with his as they stood there embracing in the bathroom of her house, the sound of Maddie and JoJo chatting coming from down the hall.
She pulled back and looked up at him, still not wanting to speak. The last thing he needed right now was any kind of attempt from her to solve what hurt. There wasn’t an easy solution. Sadie understood that better than anyone. No words could change that her aunt was sick, that she might lose her shop, that she’d spent her life feeling as if it was dangerous to trust her heart to anyone because people leave. Whether they died or walked away, they’d go.
Looking into James’ eyes, her heart still straddled the fence of wanting to believe she could be all in with him, yet afraid to take the chance that he too would one day leave her. Was he willing to be all in with her? Love was messy. Look at all he’d been through already. And yes, they’d shared some amazing moments together, as well as the current one with her wrapped in his arms, but was that enough? Was it enough for him or did he fear risking his heart as well?
He cupped her face in his hands. “I feel like there are about a million thoughts running through that head of yours right now.”
She smiled and leaned her forehead against his chest. His hand held her head against him as he placed a soft kiss to the top of her head. She took a deep breath in, soaking in what it felt like to be held by a man she knew would protect her, hold her close when she needed it. Was she brave enough to believe it could be this way for more than just that moment?
“Thank you.” His whispered, his breath warm against her ear.
She pulled back and looked at him again. “For what?”
“For this. For listening. For being here.”
“You’re welcome.”
“Hey, Dad! Come and see what JoJo taught me how to make!” Maddie’s voice from down the hall drew them from the moment.
Sadie stepped back from James’ embrace and smiled at him. “She really is amazing, James. And so are you.” She stood on her tiptoes to place a soft kiss on his lips, then headed to the kitchen to finish dinner.
* * *
It had been almost a week since that moment in the bathroom, but Sadie struggled to think of much else. It felt as if the past month had been sprinkled with moments together amid daily life that was becoming a blur of work in the shop, caring for JoJo, and all the other various things Sadie was involved in around town. Each time they were together a more meaningful connection than the last, although what James had told her about his marriage to Tiffany weighed heavily on her mind.
James admitted that only Sadie and his brother knew the truth, and she was getting a clearer and clearer picture of the man behind the hometown legend. He hid his feelings well; she’d give him that. But as she got closer to James, it wasn’t hard to see the soft-hearted, genuine guy behind the tough exterior he showed. Solid. Dependable. A man you could trust. Those were all true about James. But what came with those truths was a weight of living up to expectations that no one should have to try and live up to.
The rest of the evening had been filled with good food, good conversation, and it was easy to see that Maddie was just as good for JoJo as JoJo was for Maddie. It warmed Sadie to see her aunt with a huge smile on her face most of the night, Maddie’s youthful energy the best medicine possible.
And Sadie could see James had relaxed as if a burden had been lifted for him by trusting her, and that he and his daughter could be themselves around Sadie and JoJo.
A smile formed on Sadie’s face at the thought of James and Maddie feeling safe with her. She felt safe with them as well, her heart opening more and more to the thought of both of them being a part of her life.
She parked her truck and grabbed the bag of books she wanted to donate then headed from the main parking lot of the high school across campus to the library. Charlie had called and asked her to come share a sack lunch with her and since it was Monday and the store was closed, Sadie was happy to say yes.
With the bag of books and her purse slung over her shoulder, she tucked her hands inside her coat pocket as she walked. The breeze had a bite of cold in it, a sure sign winter was on its way. Locals had a theory that Halloween night was when the temperatures turned from cold to really cold, evident by how many kids were fussy over having to wear heavy coats over their costumes. Although Halloween was still a few days away, the drop in temperature was a sure sign that theory would hold true this year.
A bell rung and doors swung open, teenagers emerging like ants with backpacks on as they made their way from class to lunch hour. Sadie reached the library building and held the door open for two girls headed inside. The heat as she stepped inside wrapped around her like a blanket, the quiet of the library an old friend, whispering to her to come in and get lost in a story.
She smiled as the two girls stopped to look at a book together on a shelf just inside the door, their heads together as they whispered to one another. Sadie mentally reminisced over the truth that those years were filled with as much wonder and curiosity as they were angst and emotion.
She made her way to the main desk where Charlie stood staring at a computer.
“Hey, you.”
“Hey!” Charlie loud whispered back. “I’m so glad you could join me. Come on back.” She waved Sadie to follow her down a short hallway behind the main desk.
Sadie knew the library well. As a teenager, she always made sure her study hall hour was one that was held in the library, and she’d volunteered after school to help Debra, the librarian who’d worked there for more years than Sadie could fathom.
“Hi, Debra.” She poked her head into the head librarian’s office.
“Well, hello, Sadie.” Debra sat behind a gray metal desk and looked up as she spoke. Sadie was pretty sure that desk had been there since the library was built. Debra had to be in her seventies now and still had the same bob haircut and dark-rimmed glasses, although her hair was all silver now rather than blond. “Are you here to see Charlie?” Debra asked.
“I am. We’re going to have lunch.”
“You enjoy. It’s good to see you.”
“You, too.”
Sadie joined Charlie in a small kitchenette two doors down from Debra’s office. It was said around town that the high school library was bigger and better than the town library and Sadie didn’t dispute that. As generous as the people of Nearlake were, their hearts and money tended to go to their alma mater before anything else, the school receiving a large cash donation when the library had been renovated and expanded, a few years back.
Charlie had a small picnic set up for them at the table in the center of the room. Complete with picnic basket.
“You really know how to make a girl feel special,” Sadie teased as she set her purse and bag of books on a nearby chair before taking off her coat and draping it across them. She took a seat at the table with Charlie. There were real plates and napkins as well as a small charcuterie board complete with multiple cheeses, meats, and crackers. A small serving dish held three different kinds of olives. “Wow. You really went all out.”
Panic rose in Sadie for a moment, recalling all birthdays and anniversaries that would matter to Charlie. “Is there a special occasion I’m forgetting?”
Charlie smiled as she set a cold bottled water in front of each of them. “No. I think I just miss making meals for people.”
Sadie tried to read between the lines of that comment. Although Charlie put on a brave face, Sadie knew that the empty nest years had been tougher than Charlie anticipated.
“Well, it looks amazing and I’m grateful I get to be on the receiving end of it.”
Charlie’s face lit up. Mission accomplished.
“So, I know you texted me about how Tuesday night’s dinner, but I’m still going to do my mandatory ask you face-to-face for details.” Charlie said as she made up a plate for herself.
The moment in the bathroom with James came to Sadie’s thoughts, but that was the last thing she would share with anyone. James had trusted her with that information, and she intended to stick that in the vault of her mind and throw away the key. Besides, there were plenty of other parts of the evening she could share.
“It honestly was really nice. James helped me fix a few things around the house while JoJo taught Maddie how to quilt and then we had dinner.”
Charlie narrowed her eyes for a second then shrugged. “Okay. I’ll believe you. With JoJo and Maddie there I didn’t imagine there’d by any more hot kisses or make out sessions going on between you two.”
Sadie laughed out loud. “You’re killing me. I should have never told you anything about James.”
“Nonsense. You tell me everything. Well, almost everything.”
Charlie had a rule that there were things in a relationship that belonged between those two people alone and Sadie wholeheartedly agreed. But as her best friend, Charlie did know more about her than anyone else besides JoJo.
Charlie sighed, a sadness floating across her features. She blinked and sat up in her chair, whatever was on her mind a fleeting thought. Sadie made a note of it though, tucking it away to ask her about another time.
“I’m glad Maddie and JoJo hit it off. Although I’m not surprised.”
“Me, too.” Sadie made a plate for herself as well, the spread so beautiful she almost didn’t want to mess it up.
Almost.
“You said when you invited me to lunch you had something to tell me,” Sadie said.
“Oh yes!” Charlie said around a bit of cracker and cheese, her hand in front of her mouth. She finished chewing then wiped her hands on her napkin. “I did some digging to see if I could find anything here about the…” she leaned forward to whisper behind her hand, “…secret passageway.”
Sadie chuckled. “It’s okay, Char. I don’t think anyone else, but Debra is back here and she’s down the hall.”
“Davis has some old books that belonged to his family. I read through those.”
Davis was a member of one of the founding families of Nearlake. Sadie had heard him more than once call it both a blessing and a curse.
“In those books I read about a supposed treasure – mostly gold bars—that was buried years ago by a group of robbers whose leader was a crooked politician. Shocker, I know. But who knows? Maybe that could be why there’s a tunnel under the store. Maybe there’s gold down there. A true buried treasure.”
“As much as I would love to think that there is gold under my store, I find that highly unlikely. And aren’t there more than a few historical stories about gold in this area? We do live in Idaho.”
Charlie shrugged and popped an olive in her mouth.
The mere thought of a small fortune being somewhere in the secret passageway they’d found did give Sadie pause. A fantasy of having enough to pay off all the bills that were pounding at her door faded as fast as it came. Even if she did find something of value under there, would it even belong to her? The land belonged to her current landlord, a large corporation based in Boise called Evergreen Properties.
She shook her head. Even entertaining that thought was silly. She lived in the real world with real problems. Not an adventure novel.
“All I’m saying is that it might not hurt to just see what’s down there,” Charlie said, pulling Sadie from her thoughts.
“I don’t know. James said it’s dangerous and he’s right.”
Charlie scrunched up her face. “That’s fair.”
Sadie understood the desire for the passageway to be something exciting and she hated being the one to pop her friend’s balloon of intrigue.
“Thank you so much for looking into it though,” Sadie said. “It means a lot to me to have your help.”
“Always.”
Sadie sat back in her chair and looked out the window. Why was she so hesitant to lean into her friend? Yes, Sadie was independent and used to it being her and JoJo against the world. But in all truth, she and JoJo hadn’t faced anything quite like this before. After seeing what came from an evening of having James help her at the house, as well as him trust her with what weighed him down, maybe what Sadie needed most right now was to tell Charlie the truth.
“Hey. What’s up?” Charlie asked. “You just went a million miles away.”
Sadie looked at her friend.
Charlie leaned forward in her chair.
“I may lose the store.” She hadn’t meant for it to come out so blunt, but it did. It summed it all up, really.
“What?” Charlie’s eyes got wide.
Sadie took a deep breath in and let it out. She looked down at her hands folded in her lap as she talked. “I received notice from my landlord that they’re raising the rent and with JoJo’s medical bills, I can’t swing it. I’m afraid we’ll have to sell the house or try to move the store but…” her voice trailed off. Just the thought of those things happening made her want to throw up.
“Sadie. I had no idea.”
“How could you? I haven’t told anyone. JoJo doesn’t even know.”
Charlie’s eyebrows raised at that. “I knew you were a private person, but that surprises me.”
Sadie shook her head. “She doesn’t need added stress right now.”
“But you do?”
Sadie looked at her friend. Leave it to Charlie to shoot straight. “It’s not like I intentionally set out to do things alone.”
“Of course you do.”
Sadie’s shoulders sagged as she leaned her elbows on the table, her head in her hands. “I do, don’t I?”
“I’ll assume that’s a rhetorical question.”
Sadie had to chuckle at that.
“Hey.” Charlie placed a hand on Sadie’s arm. “You’re not alone. You know that. Deep down, you know that.”
Sadie nodded. She folded her hands in front of her on the table and looked at her friend. “I just don’t know what to do. If I pray any harder, I fear God’s gonna get tired of hearing from me.” She forced a small smile as she let a tear fall, her hand swiping it away as it made its way down her cheek.
Blessedly, Charlie said nothing, just rubbed Sadie’s arm. Much like the other night with James, there was nothing Charlie could say or do to fix things. It was time for Sadie to accept fate and face what was to come, no matter how difficult.