“YOU REALLY LOVER her, don’t you?”
James stopped pacing and looked at Moira.
“Yes, I do.”
It had only been about thirty minutes since Sadie had walked back into the emergency room to visit with her aunt, yet to James it felt like a lifetime. The coffee Moira had gotten for him sat on a small table in the waiting room, cold and untouched. His stomach wasn’t up for it. While a mere short time ago he was looking across the table at the restaurant eager to share a good meal while listening to Sadie laugh about her dating history then share her family story, his insides now churned.
He felt helpless. And he hated that feeling.
He put his hands in his pockets and looked at Moira. She’d asked the question and he’d given a response without hesitation.
He loved Sadie. It felt a little off to be telling that to Moira before ever saying it to Sadie, but he realized he’d tell the whole world if he could, put up a billboard downtown even.
Moira smiled. “You two are good together.”
“What makes you say that?”
She set her coffee cup down on the table next to his. She was sitting in a chair, relaxed, as if hospital visits were the norm. Maybe for her, they were. Sadie had told him Moira and JoJo had been friends a long time. He was sure that meant Moira had walked the road of her illness with her.
Moira set her elbows on the arms of the chair and looked up at him. “I’ve known Sadie most of her life. She’s loyal to a fault. And yet she’s trained herself to only get so close to people—then if they leave, her heart is spared.”
James nodded. That made sense, especially after all Sadie had told him at dinner.
“Jo decided to just forgo letting a man in, mainly because life had tossed so much at her that she convinced herself she was too busy for it. Sadie was abandoned and has only felt safe with Jo.” She leaned forward and placed her elbows on her knees. “I think you’re good for her because there is not a doubt in my mind that you would never leave her.”
His mouth curved into a glimpse of a smile. “That’s true.”
Moira smiled. “I can see it in how you look at her. How you pay attention to the little things.” She leaned back in her chair again with a chuckle. “Sadie thinks I’m oblivious, but it’s hard to work in the shop with her almost every day and not see or hear things.” She nodded. “You two are good together.”
James nodded again, an unspoken thank you.
Moira was right. And Sadie was good for him, too. He wasn’t even aware of how much he needed to relax until he was around her and let go of all the emotions he tried to keep clenched in his fists.
After Tiffany died, James had put his head down, focusing on work and being a good dad to Maddie. Loving someone again was the furthest thing from his mind. But maybe there was some truth to what his brother had said. Maybe he’d spent so much time thinking it wasn’t okay to want something for himself that he’d started to believe it.
Then the call had come in from Sadie’s shop. He’d taken one look at her frozen in place, determined not to hinder an investigation and from that point on his life, not to mention his heart, had been turned around in the best ways possible.
He sensed Sadie was there before he turned and saw her in the doorway of the waiting room. Her eyes were red from crying, her makeup blotchy from where she’d wiped her face. She was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen.
“How is she?” he asked.
“She’s fine. It’s really is just her wrist. Gary is with her now and will bring her home later when they release her.”
Moira stood and came over to Sadie and hugged her. “She’s in good hands,” Moira said as she pulled back and looked at Sadie. “I’m gonna head home, but I’ll see you tomorrow.” She turned and looked at James then back to Sadie. “You’re in good hands, too.” With a smile and pat on James’ arm, she left the room.
“I’m so sorry about our date, James.”
He closed the gap between them and pulled her to him, wrapping her up in his arms as answer. Her body relaxed in his embrace and right then he decided he’d fight to the death to do what was necessary to hold her forever.
He kissed her on the top of the head. “Let’s get you home.”
* * *
James guided his truck through town. The radio was on, Tracy Chapman singing Stand By Me. Sadie laid her head back against the passenger seat and soaked in the peaceful sound of one of her favorite singers as well as a favorite song.
The evening’s events ran through her mind, the entire night a perfect depiction that was her life.
Don’t relax for too long, Woods. The other shoe will drop.
She shook her head. Was she really so far down the path of hopelessness that she couldn’t see the good in anything anymore?
The song spoke of the moonlight being all that shines in the dark, but wasn’t that enough? Any light in darkness was cause for hope, wasn’t it?
JoJo had admitted she knew of the financial trouble they were in, but they didn’t get a chance to talk about a solution. Gary had come back in the room and in all honesty, Sadie’s mind was filled with all that JoJo had told her, trying to wrap her head around it. It shouldn’t surprise her that her aunt had been in love and even considered marriage, and she wanted to believe what JoJo said about the decision not being about Sadie, but how could that be one hundred percent true? If she hadn’t been given Sadie to raise, would she have considered traveling the world with Theo?
They pulled into her drive and James came around and opened her door for her, gave her his hand to help her out of the truck and didn’t let go as they walked to her front door. He’d been quiet the whole drive, sensing she wasn’t ready to talk. Their date had been railroaded by a visit to the emergency room and he had done nothing but support her.
Just like the song, he stood by her.
They went inside, Sadie flipping on lights as she went, slipping off her shoes and letting them fall in the front hallway. James closed the door behind them and followed her into the family room.
“How about I make us some coffee?” he asked.
“I would love a cup of tea, actually,” she said.
He nodded. “Tea it is.”
She folded the blanket that lay across JoJo’s chair and placed it across the arm so Jo could grab it easily once Sadie got her settled. The clink of pottery mixed with the sounds of James opening and closing cupboards came from the kitchen. Sadie took a deep breath in and let it out. Not a single problem in her life had been solved. In fact, there were more things to worry about with JoJo’s injured wrist. And yet, the sound of James moving around her house; being there, making her tea, eased her heart. She turned and sat down hard on the sofa and placed her head in her hands.
The tears came freely, and she let them.
By the time James came and sat beside her, a mug of hot tea placed before her on the coffee table, the skirt of her dress was damp, and her eyes felt like small slits in her face. He put an arm around her and pulled her to him.
How this man was still around, she had no clue. Since walking into her life things had been nothing but chaos, drama, and her crying more than she’d cried in years.
She had no idea how long they sat there that way. Once she’d calmed down, he reached for the mug and handed it to her, along with a tissue he pulled from his shirt pocket.
“A man who’s prepared,” she teased through her tears.
“I have a teenage daughter.”
Sadie coughed out a laugh. “Fair enough.”
“Do you want to talk about anything? If not, I understand. I’m happy to sit here and hold you for as long as you need.”
The man was a saint.
She smiled and turned, tucking one leg under her so she could face him. He shifted as well. “JoJo is fine. I mean, she did break her wrist, and I feel a huge sense of guilt over not being here with her but…” she stared down into her tea that was cradled in both hands before taking a sip.
“She’s gonna be okay,” he said as he tucked a lock of hair behind her ear.
The tenderness of his touch sent a wave of peace through Sadie.
She nodded. Yes, JoJo would be okay. But would she?
“You’re gonna be okay, too,” he said, reading her thoughts.
She leaned forward to set her mug down on the table then relaxed her shoulder against the back of the couch. James had an arm across the back, his hand now resting on her shoulder. “JoJo knows. In fact, she already knew about the money troubles.”
James nodded as if that fact didn’t surprise him. It shouldn’t have surprised Sadie, either, really. She’d been so mentally wrapped up in all of it she’d forgotten how connected her aunt was. It wasn’t as if JoJo was sitting here at home totally reclusive, not communicating with anyone. Apparently, Gary was visiting her more than Sadie knew and of course, Moira, kept her abreast of all the comings and goings of the town. Why would that keep Jo from knowing what was going on under her own roof? Sadie had to chuckle at it all. She was a fool to think she’d been handling anything by herself.
Of course, there still were no answers for what was next. Fear crept in again, turning her stomach. Even though JoJo shared the story of what had happened in her past and the two of them now faced the future together, no solid plan had been established.
Tears formed in Sadie’s eyes again.
“Talk to me,” James said, his hand rubbing her shoulder.
“I still can’t fight the fear I’m going to lose everything. JoJo. The store. Everything I’ve ever known. Everything I’ve ever cared about.”
“JoJo is fine. She’s doing well after her radiation treatments, and I have a feeling a broken wrist won’t slow her down. And you will figure out the store. You’re not alone, Sadie. Not anymore.”
Something in her heart stirred at his words, yet she still couldn’t fight the instinct to go it alone.
“I need to be here for her. What if something happens and she’s alone? She falls again and I’m not here.” She shook her head. “She has always been there for me. The last thing I want is to be selfish, to want anything beyond being there for her.”
“Wanting something for yourself isn’t selfish, Sadie.” He scoffed. “Believe me, that’s something I’m only recently learning myself. And you and JoJo aren’t alone. Gary was here the minute she called for help. Moira beat us to the hospital.”
Sadie looked down, her hands in her lap, toying with the skirt of her dress.
“I’m scared, James.”
Scared of her feelings. Scared of loving him. Scared of what that meant and the risk of heartache involved.
“I’m scared, too, Sadie. Well, I was.”
She looked at him. He tucked her hair behind her ear again, then ran his fingers gently across her cheek. “Moira asked me tonight at the hospital if I loved you.” He smiled. “Without hesitation, I said yes. I love you, Sadie. On paper it looks like we’ve only known each other a short while, but I feel you’ve known me forever. You see in me things I don’t even see myself half the time. You calm me. Whenever I hold you it’s like I’m home.”
He cupped her cheek and she leaned into his touch.
“And I still see that curious, intuitive girl I knew in high school. But it hasn’t taken long to see the strong, independent, fiercely loving woman you are now. You would do anything for the people you love.”
She shook her head. “That’s just it, James. Part of what scares me is that I don’t know how to love.” She shrugged “I've never really been in love."
"You have a greater understanding of love more than anyone I've ever seen, Sadie."
Her eyes searched his for meaning.
"You love your aunt, this community. Love is the solid foundation of the life you’ve built here."
“It’s only been me and Jo. I’ve never let anyone in. You’re the first person I’ve allowed to get close enough to…hurt if you left.”
“That won’t happen, Sadie.”
“You can’t promise me that, James.”
He shifted his body on the sofa so he was facing her completely. He held her face in his hands assuring she met his eyes. “Sadie. You’re right. I can’t promise that God won’t take me home tomorrow. I know JoJo’s illness has you thinking about her dying. You lost your grandparents. The people you love leave or die. That’s been your past. But I can promise you that your future can be me loving you every minute of every day God allows me breath on this earth.”
He leaned forward placing a soft kiss on her lips, then rested his forehead to hers. “I love you so much, Sadie Woods. Please trust me with your heart. Please let me love you.”
Sadie melted into his touch, tears now rolling down her cheeks. With every word James spoke, the walls around her heart began to fall. Her mother’s abandonment may have been the first bricks, but over time Sadie had added to it, not allowing love into her life. Yes, she and JoJo had friends and a community, but at arms’ length.
JoJo’s words came to Sadie’s mind.
“If you have found love, grab it with both hands and don’t let go.”
“I know it’s scary, Sadie. I know. But the thought of life without you in it scares me more than the risk involved in taking a leap of faith that we were meant to be together.”
She tried to imagine life before James had come through her door, before she’d spent time laughing with Maddie and getting to know her. She couldn’t. It was as if her world was blurry before they came along and brought clarity and color.
It was time. It was time to do what JoJo said, to grab hold of the love Sadie had found and not let go.
“I love you, too, James.”
His face lit up with a wide smile. His arms wrapped around her waist and he pulled her to him. Up against him, she soaked in the warmth and comfort of his embrace. She’d found love and she was ready to hold it tight and not let go.