"His name is Pacal Acosta. I wrote his name on the back of the picture. He's twenty-two. I put that on there, too."
Amber waved a finger his way. Tucker grabbed for it. Not wanting to be distracted, she set him aside. Finn turned the photograph over. Her handwriting was neat, that of a girl who had paid close attention in school. She had also added his height and weight.
"I know those things are important for an investigation, but I think the picture is the most important. He's been gone…"
"Amber. Amber," Finn stopped her. "I can't just investigate something on your say so – especially a missing person. It doesn't work that way."
"But you have to. He hasn't been at work for three days," she insisted. "I know something is really wrong."
"This friend works with you, then?"
"Yes," she said, calmer but hardly relaxed. "He started about six months ago and bussed tables. He hasn't missed a day in six months. He works other jobs too. You know, day labor. I've never seen anyone work so hard. And now he's just gone. Disappeared."
"Have you asked your boss if the boy has called in?"
"He hasn't. Mr. Romero is so mad he doesn't want to talk about it. He's been bussing himself when we're busy. I've been doing my own tables, trying to pick up the slack so Mr. Romero won't notice so much, but he does. I don't think he'll give Pacal his job back if we don't find him soon."
"If, as you say, he's an ambitious sort then maybe he took another job. Or maybe he was just tired of picking up dishes—"
"Stop it. Stop it," Amber wailed. "He would have quit the right way if he found another job. That's the kind of guy he is."
"Then maybe you should check with his family. A girlfriend. Have you seen—"
"Oh, give me a friggin' break, Finn."
Amber scrambled up, standing so abruptly it took Finn aback. She took a breath and then two. They came so quickly upon one another they sounded like a sob. But if the girl was going to cry she wasn't going to do it now and she certainly wasn't going to do it in front of him.
"Are you dense? I'm his girlfriend, Finn. If he got a better job he would have told me. Me." She put both her hands to her heart. She held them away and then let them fall against her chest again as if she were patting that heart back in place before it fell out onto the floor and broke.
"Ah," he said and then once again. "Ah, I see. And your mother doesn't know."
"I didn't want to tell her until Pacal had enough money to move us out. He wanted to show her that he was a good man who could take care of us."
In that moment Amber looked small and vulnerable and much younger than her eighteen years. Her son was tugging at her leg, but Amber just stood there as if she too wished she had a leg to tug on, a stronger human being to lift her up in her time of woe. She was trying to make that wish come true and Finn had drawn the short straw. It was his leg she was tugging at. They both knew Cori would have blown her stack if Amber confessed to loving a busboy, a boy who stood on corners as a day laborer, a boy who…
"Pacal is a good guy." Amber's chin went up. "He is honorable. He wouldn't just walk out. He would have let us – me – know."
For a second they looked at one another, the only sound in the room was Tucker's cooing and babbling. Finally, Finn waved her over to the couch. She didn't move so he pointed until Amber sat down. She crossed her arms but she lowered her eyes. Finn decided the miss was not quite as confident as she believed herself to be.
"All right, then," Finn said. "Alright?"
Amber gave him a slight nod to thank him for his time, his patience and for not dismissing her out of hand. It was slight enough, though, that he understood she would not be there unless she was desperate.
"Please. Look for him. Find him for me, Finn." She raised her pretty blue eyes and there were tears on the tips of her long lashes.
"The place to start is with his family. Does he have family?" Amber nodded. Finn went on. "Then it is for them to file a report. If they haven't done that, then it could be because they know he's not missing." Finn paused and then asked. "Do they know about you, Amber?"
She shook her head. "Not really. I mean, yes, but we haven't met. I'm pretty sure they know I exist."
Finn breathed deep. Romeo and Juliet on their way to a no good end was what this was. Cori didn't know about Pacal and Pacal's family didn't know about Amber, Finn was sure of it. Or maybe it was simpler than that. Maybe Amber wasn't important enough to mention to his family. Perhaps Pacal had his way with her and then had enough of her. Hadn't he heard Cori talk about her daughter often enough for him to know that she put her faith in men too quickly.
"It doesn't matter if they know about me or not. They wouldn't report him missing," she insisted. "I'm the only one who can get help. Why can't I file a report?"
"You can, but it would get no further than filing for a good long while. You have no standing, Amber. You're not family. He's an adult. You're not living together and—"
"And mom might find out." Amber finished for him.
"There is that," Finn answered.
"So that's why I need you to just look for him off the record," Amber said. "I know you can do that. It's not like you haven't broken a few rules before."
Finn rubbed his jaw, ignoring her comment, weighing his options. He looked at the picture. The boy was young and handsome and had obviously turned Amber's head, but he clearly had nothing to offer her – not even a family who would lift a finger for him.
"I'm needing to be at work, Amber."
Finn got up, walked behind the sofa and put his hand on her shoulder. She turned her face up to him. If this was what it felt like to be a father, Finn was glad not to be one. To have a young girl look to you with such hope made a man understand his limitations. He wished he could do something for her, but he couldn't do what she was asking.
"Leave it be. That would be my best advice. Leave it to his family."
For a moment Amber stared at him. Her bottom lip quivered and then just as quickly steel came into her eyes but he missed it. He was already headed to the door to see her out when she shot off the couch, took the picture from the table and flew at him. Amber grabbed his arm.
"Look. Look at this picture." She held it in front of his eyes but all Finn saw was that her fingers were trembling.
"What, Amber? What is it you're wanting from me?" Finn pulled his arm away. "I have looked and I don't know what it is you want me to do? The boy has gone off."
"No. He hasn't gone off and don't tell me he isn't worth looking for or worrying about. He is not some lazy little shit. He's not a criminal. He's sweet and kind and treats me nicer than any guy I've ever known," she cried. "His family won't report him missing because they can't. He's illegal. They are all from Guatemala and they are illegal. Get it?"
"Oh, lord, Amber," Finn groaned.
"Don't you oh lord me, Finn. I could get that from my mother," she snapped. "I don't know any boys like him. I don't know anyone as brave. He rode a train for three weeks. Half the time he was hanging on to the top. And he had nothing to eat…and his mother…"
Amber stopped talking. With each word her head lowered, her words were lost in the breath that was getting harder to take. Her shoulders shook. Her long hair fell over her shoulders and hid her face, but she did not let loose of the picture nor did she crumble under the weight of her emotions. When she raised her head again, she was defiant for both of them.
"His father left four years after they got here. He came first with Pacal's older brother and then Pacal and his mother and his little sister came. Pacal was only ten then. His mother had two more kids so there are five kids altogether. I know the oldest doesn't live at home. I know Pacal took care of his mother and brothers and sisters. He loves them. I'm lucky he loves me. He does, Finn. We haven't even slept together because he wants to marry me first. He would not leave his family after all they've been through. He would not leave me."
"Alright. Come on now, Amber." Finn covered her hand with his, careful not to crease the photograph that meant so much to her. Amber pulled away but she didn't move far. She wanted him to know everything and the story tumbled out of her mouth because it had been held in too long.
"His mom cleans houses. The little kids go to school. Pacal lost his job at a restaurant in East L.A. when it closed and he came to work at Romero's. Then he started doing day work on the weekends and in the mornings before he had to be at the restaurant. I don't even know when he slept. He took every last cent back to his family.
"I don't know where to find his family, but you could figure it out. You could find Pacal, too. That's all I want. Maybe he's sick and in a hospital or maybe he got arrested by mistake. Or maybe ICE picked him up. Whatever it is, it has to be awful if he hasn't called me. Can you imagine how scary it must be for his mother? My mom would be crazed if she didn't know where I was." Amber stopped talking. The mention of Cori brought her back to her plan, a precise plan that included a promise from Finn. "You can't tell my mom any of this. Okay? Not until we know Pacal's all right. You have to promise. Okay?"
"Oh no, Amber. I'll not be lying to your mother."
Finn shook his head. What she was asking was against everything he knew to be right and good. He did not want to be a conspirator. His loyalty was to his partner, to Cori, to all the things that would keep her from harm including harming her relationship with her daughter. He tried again to reason with her.
"Look, there's no reason to tell your mother anything. Pacal is probably a fine young man but he lives in a shadow world, my girl. Is that what you want for yourself? For Tucker? No, you must move on. You must…"
Finn's words trailed off. Amber's head swung slowly back and forth as she laughed softly to herself. When she realized he wasn't talking anymore, she looked up with those beautiful, exhausted and now disappointed eyes of hers.
"I'm sorry for you, Finn. You just don't understand about real love."
"No, Amber," he said. "I don't understand why you would put yourself in this position."
"I'm not in a 'position'. We care about each other," she said. "It's that simple. He wouldn't have left me without saying goodbye; he wouldn't have left me without a good reason, and I can't live not knowing what happened to him. I seriously can't live that way."
With that she walked into Finn and laid her head on his shoulder. Finn's arms rose to hold her away, but when she started to weep he patted the air around her shoulders instead. He was afraid to touch her and afraid not to. Certainly he had no idea what would be the best in such a situation, and certainly he was now in a situation.
He hadn't promised to stay silent about Amber's problem and yet he knew he would be keeping this conversation to himself. Cori and Amber would both damn him if he breathed a word. He hadn't promised to search for Pacal but he was already thinking of where he could start looking for the boy so that he could give Amber some peace of mind. Yet if he did that, if he actually found Pacal, Finn would have to do something worse than looking for him in the first place. He would have to tell Amber that Pacal had come to a bad end or he had left her. Neither would be welcome news.
He closed his eyes and, as Amber stood against him weeping, Finn's jumbled thoughts went to his long dead brother, Alexander. The little boy had waited for Finn to pick him up from school on a sunny day and met his end in the dark of night at the hands of a person who had never been found. Now here was another mother's son missing. Perhaps, this was Finn's chance to make things right for the sin of forgetting his brother.
Before he could consider that this was Fate stepping into his life, Tucker began to cry because his mother was. Amber, hearing her child's wails, turned to him. Finn watched, helpless in the face of such sadness. Then he thought to comfort Amber by telling her that she was wrong. You can live without knowing what happened to someone you love. He had done it for years.
Luckily, he was a sensible man and kept his mouth shut.