part0036

Natalie lay in bed staring up at the ceiling. She’d had hardly any sleep, and she was sure she looked a state. She’d been in this very bed with Ellie only last week. But now, having inspired Dad to come out and get a boyfriend, her girlfriend had disappeared into a puff of thin air before she’d even had a chance to call her by that name to anyone else. Having only just come around to the fact she was someone who was loveable and could be in a normal relationship, she’d woken up to find she’d fallen for the same London trap again. Once more, she was being left behind for a London dream.

Or had Ellie been telling the truth when she said she wanted to be here? Natalie desperately wanted to believe her words and everything she’d told her earlier in the week. But her actions spoke louder than her words, didn’t they? She’d come back from London with another woman and she still hadn’t put her flat on the market, despite promising she would for weeks. Also, where had Grace slept last night?

Their relationship wasn’t going to happen now, was it? Because even if Ellie was telling the truth about the house, she certainly hadn’t told the truth about Grace. Despite what she’d said, they seemed to have spent time together. Hell, they’d come back to Upper Chewford together. That was the real kicker. After everything they’d said and done. It was the doing part that was weighing heavily on Natalie’s mind. Did it all mean nothing? All the sex they’d shared, the words they’d spoken?

Today was Friday. Day one of the summer festival. The day Natalie had to get up in front of the whole village and speak.

Ellie, Yolanda and Fi had said they were going to help. But now, the first two were out of the picture, and Fi was unreliable. It looked like she was on her own.

She swallowed down the tears that threatened to overwhelm her. She wasn’t going to be overtaken by them. She didn’t have time today. She had to go down and coordinate with the festival steering committee and check everyone knew what they were doing. So she pushed down her feelings and threw herself into the shower, determinedly washing the stain of last night from her body. However, no matter how hard she tried, she knew it was still on her skin.

She dressed in the outfit Ellie had approved. Somehow, it didn’t feel right now, but she was going to wear it anyway. It was one less decision to make, and she had felt confident in it before. She needed to access that confidence today. Right now, even to get outside.

Natalie stepped outside with caution. Guy was working in the shop today, along with Steph and Amy from the distillery. She’d half expected Ellie and Grace to still be standing on the doorstep. Still working things out. But they weren’t. Now the step looked innocent and normal. She longed for normality again. She wanted to be able to kiss Ellie again on the step, just as they had that night after the pub quiz. But normal had long since left the building.

As she walked across the village square, she shielded her eyes from the sunlight. The summer festival had been her idea. Now, she just wanted to go back to bed and hide.

Her phone buzzed in her pocket. She stopped and pulled it out. It was the journalist, telling her she was en route. Were her and Ellie still fine to be interviewed at midday?

Fucking hell, she’d forgotten that. Could they postpone? She stuffed her phone back in her pocket. She couldn’t deal right now.

The stalls were being set up, the town’s handymen Mark and Alan putting them together. She walked over to the river, where Clive and Josie were setting up the bar in the pub garden. The music stage was arriving later this morning, with a full assembly crew in tow. It was all systems go. However, she didn’t know what she should do. She’d lost her bearings.

He gave her a big smile, squeezing her tight. “There’s my best girl! How are you? You must be so proud. First summer festival and it’s all coming together thanks to you!”

When he pulled back and looked at her, something in his smile made her break. They were being honest with each other now, right? She could tell him the truth?

Her body clearly thought so, as it burst into tears, falling into him. It was like the other night, only in reverse. Now, it was her breaking down on Dad. He owed her. But in the village square, where anyone could see? Fuck her life.

So did she, but she couldn’t get the words out. If she opened her mouth to speak, she feared she’d cry a river, and she was trying to prevent that. She pulled out of his arms and walked towards home.

When Natalie looked up, Ellie was behind the counter. She couldn’t see her like this. Suddenly, she didn’t want to be anywhere near her. Even her flat was too close. It was all such a mess.

Dad let her guide him back across the square to the river, where they eventually paused on a park bench near the old mill. They weren’t far from his house, but this was just as good. It was away from prying eyes.

Natalie gathered herself and took a deep breath. “Ellie came back from London with her ex, and she hasn’t put her flat on the market. It looks like she might be moving back to London.”

“She denied it, saying she wanted to stay here. But I just don’t know if I believe her. I mean, she told me she hadn’t really seen her ex, that she’d closed that chapter of her life. But then she turns up here. What does that say?”

“It doesn’t look good, I agree.” He paused. “But maybe the ex wouldn’t take no for an answer. Ellie strikes me as someone worth fighting for.” He kissed the top of Natalie’s head. “But you can’t let this derail you today.”

“I know that. But Ellie and I were meant to share the PA duties tonight. We did an outline. Fat lot of good that will do me later if she’s buggering off back to London with her ex.” She threw her hands in the air. “Why is this happening to me again? Maybe you were right. Maybe being gay does mean a life of misery.”

Dad put his arms around her and she felt safe. Just like always. “That’s not true, and I don’t want to hear that from you. You’ve always kept positive, even in the most trying times. Don’t give that up, it’s special. You taught me that.” He pulled back, looking her in the eye. “And you know what? I might not be good for much, but I am good at presenting. I can totally introduce the festival if you like. Yolanda, me — we’re practically the same person.”

“Of course. But you’ll be right beside me, and you can say a few words. You should, this is your baby. We’re a team, we always have been.”

“Thanks, Dad.” She kissed his cheek. He smelled of apples. He looked exhausted, but happy. She remembered that feeling well. “By the way, did you see Yolanda today? Tell her your news?”

That gave Natalie her first laugh of the day. “Why is it gay people are always the last to know? We should tell our families to please point it out earlier. It would save such a lot of heartache.”

“You’re not wrong there.” He took her hand and gave it a squeeze. “So what do you need me to do today, other than the PA duties? I’m at your disposal, so use me as you will.”

He shook his head. “Fixed it already. It was just a slight hiccup with the payroll, but I’ve put someone else on it. I booked this week off, so I’m taking it. Just because she’s my sister doesn’t mean she can give me the runaround.”

That was Natalie’s second big laugh of the day. “She’s been giving you the runaround since the day she was born.”

She got out her phone to check her list of jobs. If he was offering, she wasn’t going to turn him down. When she checked her screen, she saw another missed call from Ellie. That made five. She wished she could switch her phone to silent, but she couldn’t. Not today. She got rid of the notification, glossing over the accompanying texts. One of them began Natalie, I really need to speak to you . She knew she had to, but not yet. She had too much other stuff to do. Surely Ellie knew that.

“Actually, you could help out at the shop later. Sarah and Amy need to set up the Yolanda Distillery stall, and Guy will be all on his own. You think you can do that from about four o’clock?”

She glanced at her phone screen again when a call came through from the journalist. She couldn’t ignore it any longer. She pressed the green button.

“Hi! This is Jenna from Live Your Best Life! magazine. I was beginning to think I was being sent on a wild goose chase when I didn’t hear back from you. Neither you nor Ellie are answering your phones.”

“I guessed that. I think I’m about an hour away, so all good for a midday interview? If I could get both you and Ellie together in your flat as we discussed, then I can come back later on for the festival opening. I have a friend who lives nearby I’m staying with, so I’m meeting her for a late lunch after the interview.”

Natalie’s heart raced that little bit more. Both her and Ellie in one place, being civil to each other and playing nice? Just the thought made her brain want to explode. “Right. I haven’t spoken to Ellie yet today, so I’m not sure if she can make it. But I still can, so that’s no problem. You have my address?”

Natalie put her phone back in her pocket, then got it out again when she realised Dad still needed to be told a job. That was what she got it out for in the first place.

Natalie gave him a heavy nod. “An interview. For a magazine. It was set up ages ago, when we were still friends. Before we slept together. Definitely before she brought her ex back to the village. It’s going to be interesting, to say the least.”