It was over. Done with. And no amount of pleading on Apollo’s part would change Honey’s fate.
She sat in her room, alone, and for one last time, relived the horror of her ordeal. She was pregnant.
Honey couldn’t have been more shocked. She’d truly believed that she had not been fertile and she couldn’t conceive. And that, in truth, was why she hadn’t used her protection since that first night on the pier.
Yet you felt Nick’s seed spray your womb, the pesky voice whispered.
Nick’s seed; Nick’s baby. She couldn’t even bring herself to imagine what she was going to do.
The door opened and Effie quietly came into the room. “I will pack for you.”
Honey nodded, and then drew in a deep breath. “I have failed my father, Effie.”
The maid came and stood beside her. “But you have not dishonored yourself.”
Honey laughed, the sound brittle. “Yes. I have kept my honor, but that won’t pay our debts, will it?”
Neither of them mentioned the baby that now grew in her womb, although surely there was dishonor in that.
“Perhaps you can find a position.”
“A position. As what, a tutor?”
“You would be a good teacher; you are most intelligent for a woman,” Effie praised.
Yes, perhaps all wasn’t lost.
But in her heart, Honey knew that whatever she did, nothing would ever be the same again. Who was going to hire an unmarried woman with a baby, and how was she going to explain this to her dear father?
Anxious to be out of the harpy’s house and away from her rancorous tongue, Honey had taken a carriage to the pier, where she now sat, her back to the village, and waited for the boat that would return her and Effie to Athens.
Needing to be alone, Honey had sent her on an errand to buy them a lunch to take with them when they sailed.
Honey had come to terms with most of the aspects of her situation. What had happened on Crete was her invention. She had brought it on herself; no one else was to blame.
That didn’t assuage the guilt she felt about letting her father down. He wouldn’t let his feelings show; he wouldn’t want to hurt her.
But the pregnancy was another matter. Nick’s baby. The realization shouldn’t have brought her joy, for it was an impossible situation besides being dishonorable. But she felt an incredulous bliss just the same. Her precious Nick would be a part of her life forever and no one could take that from her.
Hearing a shout from the harbor, she raised her gaze and saw someone waving at her from one of the boats. Her hand went to her heart. Nick?
Her disappointment was intense. No, it wasn’t Nick. But she recognized Cosmos, and she felt a surge of excitement. She stood and hurried down the wooden platform. “Cosmos? What are you doing here?” She glanced around, hoping to see Nick.
Cosmos, too, was searching about as if looking for someone. “I’m to take you home.”
“You are? Oh, but that’s wonderful. How in the world did you know?”
He glanced away. “I make delivery on Crete and hear you are leaving.”
“Well, how fortunate for us,” she said, beaming at the man. “Effie should be here shortly.”
Suddenly he smiled that big bear smile, and she realized he was looking over her shoulder. She turned as Effie hurried down the platform.
“Effie? Cosmos is taking us home. Isn’t that wonderful?” Perhaps she sounded a bit too enthused, but at least she was happy for Effie.
Effie’s smile split her usually dour face from ear to ear and her eyes sparkled. She looked like a school girl. A very, very happy, but perhaps a little naughty, school girl, anticipating a day of playing hooky. Honey was just a tiny bit envious.
Cosmos got their luggage on board and she and Effie settled into the room they’d had before.
The question she didn’t dare ask was always on her mind, on the tip of her tongue. Where was Nick?
They set sail and Effie had gone topside to be with her man. Honey smiled as she recalled Effie’s remarks after Cosmos had left them.
“My man came for me,” she’d said, tears rimming her enormous dark eyes. “He came for me.” She didn’t say it defiantly, but with awe. Wonderment.
With nothing to do and no one to speak to, Honey went topside as well, determined to keep out of the lovebirds’ way.
From the railing near the aft, she watched them, feeling like a voyeur, but unable to help herself.
Effie pulled off Cosmos’ cap and ruffled his curls, eliciting a warm and tender chuckle from him. Cosmos then drew Effie closer and began removing the pins from her magnificent hair. When it tumbled over her shoulders and down her back, he brought a hank of it to his face and appeared to breathe in the scent of her.
Honey looked away, unable to endure the pain. Memories of Nick, feelings and desires for him welled up so strongly inside her she closed her eyes and pressed her body against the railing.
She thought of the house in Athens, and how empty it would be without either Effie or her father.
A dismal smile touched her lips. It would be just her and the grim Idola rattling around in there, with Idola reading Honey’s coffee grounds and shaking an angry finger at her.
And then what?
And then, when Nick’s baby began to grow in earnest, Idola would probably quit, leaving Honey with no one.
You do bad. You be bad. You end bad.
The trouble was that Honey didn’t feel the remorse she should have. Perhaps to have asked a stranger to make love to her was to “do bad.” Perhaps she was a bad woman. And, it appeared that she would end up badly. Yes, Ida was right, but Honey couldn’t conjure up any feelings of remorse.
The surprising sound of Effie’s giggle brought her back to the present. Effie? Giggling? Wonders will never cease, she thought, an effortless smile touching her mouth.
She returned to the tiny stateroom and prepared for bed, brushing her hair endlessly, allowing her thoughts to return to Nick and the many pleasures he had given her.
She turned up the lamp and slid into bed, languidly searching for any book within her reach. She pulled out a small book from the pile; it was a book of poetry.
She opened it and read a short poem written by a man who was obviously in love with a beautiful woman. At the end, someone had handwritten: My feelings for Honey are expressed here so strongly, one would think I had written the words myself.
Nick. He had written those words about her! She found herself breathing hard, her heart pounding, her blood rushing through her veins.
With her fingers pressed against her quivering mouth, she fought the urge to scream in frustration. What had she done? Had he really loved her? Had he?
She threw the book across the room, turned down the lamp and stared at the door. What she needed now was a miracle.
Effie opened the door and came inside, grinning, twirling, acting very un-Effie-like. Her feet barely touched the floor. She stopped at the look on Honey’s face.
“What is wrong? Does the baby make you ill?”
Unwilling to share her pain, Honey merely said, “No. I’m tired, that’s all.”
Effie strolled toward her, her hands behind her back. “Are you not going to ask where Nick is?”
Honey picked at the bedspread. “It doesn’t really matter to me.”
Effie spewed out a guttural Greek curse.
“That’s hardly ladylike, Effie.”
Effie eyed her for a long, quiet moment, and then said, “We are making a stop at Santorini.”
A cold wash of something akin to fear spread over Honey’s flesh. “Why?”
With a casual shrug, Effie said, “Cosmos says there is something wrong with the boat, something he can’t fix here.”
Honey was skeptical. “That’s odd. Since it’s so large, one would think Crete would have anything a sailor needed.”
Effie shook her head. “That’s why he stopped in here in the first place, but he couldn’t find what he was looking for.”
Honey gave her maid a sly smile. “He found you, didn’t he?”
Effie returned the smile, a faint blush blooming on her cheeks.
Honey had to glance away; looking into the face of someone in love made her own heart sick. “Will it take long to repair the boat once we get to Santorini?”
Effie shrugged. “Not long.”
“Then I think I’ll remain on board, if that’s all right with Cosmos.” She didn’t want to risk seeing Nick, should he be at his home; she couldn’t bear for him to know her humiliation.
The next morning, as the stark, apocalyptic cliffs of Santorini came into view, Honey saw them as a mirror to her own soul.