THE WEIRDNESS I’d been waiting for arrived.
Alex climbed out of the bed and, without meeting my eyes, went to the bathroom and quietly closed the door. I lay on the bed, our combined come drying on my chest and abs, wondering what had happened to put that look on his face.
Sure, I’d had a few drinks at the club, but I wasn’t drunk and I didn’t think Alex had had enough to send him past comfortably happy. Was he drunker than I thought and now wanted to step back into hetero-land? Was his curiosity now satisfied?
Before I could think about it for too long, Alex came out wearing a towel around his waist and holding a wet washcloth.
He looked at my flaccid dick and the mess on my body. “Um, here.” He handed me the wet cloth and turned away.
“Thanks.”
After cleaning myself up, I tossed the towel into the bathroom and pulled on my boxers. Alex had already done the same and climbed into bed, his back to me. I think if there had been another bed, he would have used it.
I crawled under the covers and stared at his back, the smooth expanse of skin rising and falling with each uneasy breath.
After what seemed like ages, I found my voice. “Alex? Are you okay?”
Alex’s shoulders shuddered as he sighed heavily. “I’m sorry.”
“What are you sorry for?”
“I shouldn’t have done… that.” Alex’s voice was so soft I strained to hear him.
“Are you saying you didn’t like it? The look on your face said otherwise, and I thought it was the hottest thing I’d ever seen.”
That got his attention. Alex rolled over and faced me in the darkness of our hotel room, but there was enough light streaming through the thin curtain for me to see the doubt in his eyes.
“Are you serious?”
Cupping his cheek, I brought my lips to his in a soft kiss. “Yes. I don’t know why my feelings have changed now, but they have. I want you. More than want you.”
“But… the look on your face when I…”
“What look? I loved it. I mean I never thought… you know, I would find it so hot.”
I kissed him again, if only to get the surprised look of his face, but Alex deepened it almost immediately.
“Are you sure it’s not weird?” Alex asked when we came up for air.
“Yes.”
“Thank God,” he said, right before devouring my mouth again.
LYING WITH my head on Alex’s chest, I ran my fingers through his sparse chest hair as his heartbeat thumped in my ear, a steady, comforting sound. His arm around me, he ran his fingers slowly up and down my back as we talked. I was in the position a girl normally took and I could see why most girls liked to cuddle.
I was drifting off when Alex asked, “Back in Seattle, why did you stop holding my hand?”
“Huh? You stopped holding my hand. I missed it, but I didn’t know how to tell you,” I said, kissing his chest.
“You were so sick. After Montana, I thought… well, I thought we’d be here, doing this. But you got sick and I was so worried I almost called your parents. Then after you got better, things sort of returned to normal, but it was like we were best friends again, instead of leading to something more. I tried telling myself I was okay with that, but… I missed you, even though you were right here.”
Leaning up on my elbow, I looked at Alex. “I missed you too. I’ve wanted to take this further for ages, but I was too scared. I didn’t want to do anything you didn’t want, and I was scared if I pushed, I would push you away. Sometimes I thought you’d be receptive to stepping things up a notch, but other times…” I let the sentence hang there, fearing I’d said too much already.
I lay back down, kissing his chest before nuzzling against him and wrapping my arm around his waist. Who would’ve thought I was a cuddler?
We were silent for a while, the feel of Alex’s hand running up and down my arm lulling me to sleep.
“I want it all. With you,” Alex whispered.
“Me too.”
ALEX AND I explored each other the next morning, but I couldn’t work up the nerve to reciprocate the blowjob just yet. Alex said he understood and was happy for me to take my time. I couldn’t tell if he was disappointed or not. I touched him, though, all over, learning the contours of his body and how he reacted to my touch, the way he always sucked in a breath when I sucked on a nipple, his smooth skin giving way to goose bumps when I gently ran my fingers over his hip. I banked his different reactions for further use later.
We explored the city during the day, walking most places until we realized our error. San Francisco was built on a series of hills, so walking became a feat of endurance. By the time we got back to the B&B, my legs were shaking. We chose to stay in on our second night and order Chinese. We ate while watching a movie and made sure all our electronics were charged and ready for our departure in the morning.
I wasn’t really watching the movie, though. My mind was elsewhere. Namely on what Alex and I would do next. Would he want to fuck me? Did I want that? He said last night he wanted it all, but what was all? Would it hurt? I couldn’t imagine all the gay men doing it if it hurt so much, but something told me it wasn’t for the faint-hearted either. I’d tried a finger in my ass in the shower that morning and it didn’t feel bad. It was a weird sensation, but it didn’t hurt, just felt strange. I wasn’t brave enough to try two, and something told me I should use lube if I were going to go any further.
Alex must’ve sensed my wandering mind since he grabbed the remote, turning the TV off and climbing on top of me. In a short period of time he had me naked and panting beneath him, empty Chinese cartons falling to the floor. After assaulting my throat and chest with bites and licks, he straddled my thighs and grabbed both our hardening cocks in one hand. He spit on his palm for lubrication and started moving his hips, forcing his dick through his hand and sliding along mine at the same time. Alex threw his head back, releasing a throaty growl when I tweaked his nipples, causing them to harden. Sitting up with Alex still thrusting away, I took one of his nipples into my mouth and sucked, tasting his glistening skin on my tongue. Then I ran my hands down his back and pulled his ass cheeks apart as I kneaded them, feeling the meaty flesh as I dug my fingers in. I didn’t touch his hole, I wasn’t ready for that yet, even though he let out a needy sigh every time my fingers came close.
I bit his nipple lightly as I raised my eyes to find him looking down at me.
“Oh God, that’s so hot. You should see how good you look from this angle.”
“Hmm-mmm,” I murmured around a mouthful of hard pec, flicking my tongue over the hardened nub.
“You’re such a tease,” Alex grunted.
Alex continued to thrust his hips. His cockhead sliding past mine was driving me crazy with want. I didn’t think jerking off could feel so good, but when his thumb ran over my slit, I just about bucked him off.
Alex encouraged me to lie down once more as his hips slowed and his hand took over. With one large hand wrapped around us both, he brought his lips to mine in a devastating kiss. He used his tongue to mimic the action of his hand as he fucked my mouth and took what he wanted. Alex was sucking and fucking the breath right out of me.
It wasn’t long before I shot hard, clutching his biceps and moaning into his mouth as he continued to work our cocks, milking everything he could out of me. His dick pulsed against mine as he came too, covering my abs in milky white ropes.
Alex sat up on my thighs but not before giving me one last scorching kiss. He ran his fingers through the mess, then rubbed his forefinger and thumb together, studying the texture of our combined release.
I was beginning to think Alex liked covering me with his come. I was also starting to think he was a dirty bastard.
“You look good in white,” he said simply.
DRIVING OUT of San Francisco, we took Highway 1 heading south along the coast. It was a warm day, but the clouds threatened rain even though none fell. I was dozing against the passenger window when Alex’s voice broke through.
“It was what I thought, you know,” he said, his eyes never leaving the road.
I sat up, rubbing my hands over my face. “What?”
“My experiment in the club.” I’d forgotten about that.
“And?” I said shortly. I was always a little grumpy after napping. Alex turned to me with a raised eyebrow. “Sorry. Go on.”
“My experiment. I wanted to see if it was just you or if I felt the same way about other guys.”
I could feel the lump form in my throat and my jealousy rising. This wasn’t a curiosity thing for me. I wanted to be with Alex, always. Once I’d figured out what it was I was feeling, that my affection for him went beyond friendship, I committed myself to him and only him. I hadn’t told him that but only because it felt too soon.
Now he was telling me what? He wanted to be with other guys? Find out if he was really gay? Would Alex, my Alex, tell me he only wanted to be friends and then go off with someone else?
My silence must’ve set off his alarm bells as I continued to stew in my seat, my sleepiness nowhere to be found.
“Josh? Don’t you want to know?” he asked cautiously.
I turned to look out the window, my eyes burning. I was being ridiculous. In the last two minutes, fears I didn’t know I had came to the forefront of my mind, making it difficult to breathe around the lump in my throat.
“Fine, since I’m driving and you’re stuck in the passenger seat, you have to listen to me.” I could see Alex’s reflection in the window as he glanced at me a few times, waiting for a response. When none came, he continued. “When I was dancing, there were guys all around. Some touched, some didn’t. Some rubbed up against me and a few tried to kiss me. It felt good for the most part.” He paused, probably waiting for my reaction to his last sentence. I stewed some more. “Want to know what I was doing up there, surrounded by all those hot men?”
“Not really,” I muttered.
“I was waiting for you.”
I turned to look at him then, not bothering to hide my watery eyes. A half chuckle came from Alex’s throat. “That’s right, you sad sap. I was waiting for you to come and tell them all to fuck off, which is what you did. Eventually. You took your damn time.” Taking his eyes off the road, Alex gave me the widest smile. “I’ve been attracted to other guys for a while, but never acted on it. I was too scared of what it meant. But I don’t want to be with anyone else, Josh. I just want you.”
I didn’t realize I was holding my breath until it all rushed out, leaving me speechless.
My heart leapt at his words, filling me with a warmth I felt all the way to my bones. “You need to find somewhere to park. I so need to kiss you right now.”
Alex poked his tongue out and licked his bottom lip. “Among other things.”