Dear Rita,
Today was a wonderful day. I feel like my old self again, sort of. Nothing strange or magical occurred. It was just a perfect Christmas Day. Robbie and Corrine are getting so big. Their absolute excitement was a joy to watch.
I knelt with them on the floor as they tore open their gifts. The house was full of glistening Christmas lights and the smell of the Douglas fir.
A sense of peace and normalcy permeated the whole, quiet day. And the snow! How it sparkled and fell down on the world, coating it in a pure white blanket. It was as if there was no war going on at all.
I made a plum pudding and a roast. Everything was delicious. And I invited absolutely everyone, but in the end it was only us because of the snow. My quiet little family. Robert and the children.
I can’t say there isn’t a sad sort of tension between us, Robert and I...but I can say that we love each other.
We’ve had word from Levi. Robert got a letter and he left it unopened for two days on the kitchen counter. I didn’t touch it, even though it killed me not to. Finally, I noticed it was gone and I waited. Robert told me about it the next morning over breakfast. Seems Levi is doing well. He’s found a girl and he is going to give working on that vineyard a try. He’s happy. And I’d be lying if I said I didn’t feel a little bit of my heart is there with him. But I am filled up here. Finally.
He sent his love to all of us. I knew that part was hard for Robert to share, and I loved him for it. One woman does not deserve so much love.
I’m thinking of all the letters I’ve sent complaining about my life. They embarrass me. I hope you have never thought of me as ungrateful. Well... I suppose I’ve thought of myself like that, so I guess you are allowed to, as well.
One thing I want to mention is that I thought of you all day. I know this is your first Christmas without Sal someplace in the world. I pray you were not alone, that Charlie and Irene came. Or Mrs. K. I wish you would just pack everything up and come live in your sunflower room. Goodness. My life would be perfect then. But I know Sal is with you. I know he is showering you with love and kisses and he’s also filling up Toby with strength and courage so that he’ll return home to you safe and sound. And soon.
Also, I’ve thought a lot about the possibility that Sal sent you Roylene. The heavens must work like that.
Merry Christmas, Rita. And Happy New Year. I am busy daydreaming about our meeting. I can almost smell Little Sal’s fuzzy head! (Does he have hair yet? My children took ages to grow hair.)
Glory