Dear Rita,
It’s been a year plus, dear friend, since we began our letters. Did you notice? What a year. What a crazy mixed-up year. God knows what He’s doing. He knew I would need someone...and there you were, at the bottom of a hat.
Thank you for your honest opinion of my situation. In all fairness I do know that what I feel for Levi isn’t right. But somehow, and I don’t know why this is, my love for Robert grows as my love for Levi grows.
But, if it makes you rest easy...there’s been nothing more between Levi and me since New Year’s Eve. And we’ve had plenty of moments that tried both our constitutions, let me tell you.
Every night Corrine and Robbie pray for their dear daddy, clutching his photograph to their hearts. It’s a beautiful if not odd sight. Levi, big and strong...his arms encircling two small tots. Praying to a picture of my soldier husband. All of them honest with their love. I wish you could see it. I wish Robert could see it, or maybe I don’t. It’s all so confusing.
Sometimes it just takes my breath away and I turn the corner and lean against the wall, the sobs catching silently in my throat. How I long for the way it used to be. How I miss those days before the war when Robert and I were newlyweds. I can still remember bringing him to this house and sheepishly asking if we could make our home here. “I thought you’d never ask,” he said. Everything from those days seems bathed in golden summer sun. Even the winters.
Damn. It makes the sorrow take off on winged horses.
So enough of it. You will be my moral compass, but I can’t promise you I’ll fly a steady course.
And don’t stop reminding me of all the things I need to be reminded of.... I don’t have anyone else. Anna tells me to embrace my feelings for Levi so that I can let them go. But what does she know of men? Really.
If you see that boy again (Ted, from the USO), you kiss him smack on the lips for me. You kiss him and tell him that our bodies do things that our minds don’t need to take notice of. No notice at all.
Now... I’ve enclosed a letter to Roylene. Please give it to her. Thank you for suggesting it.
Love,
Glory
P.S. Have you purchased your seeds yet? I found this magazine article that boasts it can sell all the seeds you need in one shipment. Should I trust it?