When Nathaniel saw his brother talking with Rachel inside O’Shea’s, he’d had such a rush of feeling he didn’t dare go inside to say hello. Rachel was his responsibility. He’d saved her. The thought wasn’t right, and he knew it. You don’t own her; you barely know her. But still, Nathaniel felt protective, then outraged. Finn was a married man, and there he was flirting with a young girl. Rachel was naive, and he could imagine her easily taken in by a man who showed her kindness. Then again, it was none of Nathaniel’s business: his brother’s attempts at attracting the girl or the girl’s willingness.
Nathaniel continued past the docks and storefronts until he reached his skiff. He sat in the boat where it bobbed in the tide, firmly anchored to the beach. The sun burned his back, and he squinted into the bay, then looked into the bilge where water splashed along the seams. He didn’t know what to do about Finn. He ran the bailer along the bilge and dumped water over the side until there was no water left in the boat.
He sat back on the stern seat to rest his arm, then he wondered how many days it had been since he’d been to see Meredith. He’d been working with his father, and he couldn’t keep track. Today was hot. The heat permeated his body until every cell of his skin down through his muscles felt on fire. When had heat been so unrelenting? He crossed the marsh to the Butler house, knocked on the door, and listened for her footsteps. The doorknob turned, and he stepped back so as not to appear too eager.
“You’re here,” she said. “I’ve been watching you for days.” Her face was aflame with the heat or surprise; he didn’t know which. He only felt relieved to see her, to step inside out of the heat into the shadowed coolness of the hallway where they stood close together for a moment, just to feel each other there.
“I was hoping you’d come back,” she said, and her words released some spring held down in him. “Come in. We can sit in the parlor.”
She led him through the hallway. “I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you,” she said as she walked, as if it were the most natural thing in the world to speak this freely. “No matter what I do, there you are, occupying my mind as if no time has passed.”
He sat on the settee. She sat beside him and poured water from the pitcher into two crystal glasses.
“Rose will bring iced tea and cake,” she said as if she hadn’t just revealed her innermost thoughts.
“I’ve wanted to come since the other day,” he said. “But, you know, Theo.”
“Yes,” she said.
“There’s something I’ve come to tell you.” He took her hand, and when he let it go, she took his hand and held it firmly. “I’ve started working with my father. I’m going to live with him in the house until I figure out what to do. I want you, Meredith, as much as you want me.”
“Don’t do this for me,” she said.
“It’s time. I’m ready.”
“I’m married.”
“I know, but things can change. They have to change.”
Meredith smiled into Nathaniel’s face and leaned across the settee to kiss him. He kissed her back, receiving her body as she leaned into him. “There’s something else,” he said.
“Well, what is it?”
He wanted to say something about Finn, but he didn’t know how to put it, so he said the first thing that came to mind. “My brother has been talking to Rachel, taking too much of an interest.”
“How do you know?”
“I’ve seen them.”
“Are you sure? How can you be sure?” She stood from the settee and paced the room.
“You could talk to her, Meredith. She needs a woman’s point of view. She has no family here to guide her.”
Meredith dropped her weight onto the settee next to him and appeared to be turning the facts over in her mind. “She’s young, and the attention of a handsome older man can be flattering. Girls that age can have very poor judgment. Have you talked to your brother? What is he thinking?”
When Rose came in with tea, Meredith shooed her away and told her they needed the room to themselves.
“Not yet. I’m waiting until I can speak to him rationally.”
“Don’t wait too long,” Meredith said. “I feel like she’s my daughter. She was only here a couple of weeks, but I feel protective of her.”
He leaned against her, felt her arm against his. Meredith turned to him then and leaned her face toward him, brushed her cheek against his. Nathaniel wrapped his arms around her, and she let herself fall against him. They sat like that for some time, breathing in rhythm like they had so many years ago. He ran his hands along her back, which was small but strong and tapered at the waist. When she picked her head up again, they locked eyes, and he felt years of knowing in her steady gaze. The truth existed between them from that early connection, and he knew then that she’d never stopped loving him. When he kissed her, something in him came home. He was brought back to the schooner in the boatyard where they’d first made love, and that early innocence felt palpable to him.
Meredith ran her hands along his face, feeling the tears along his cheeks, the worry in his forehead, the creases at the corners of his eyes from squinting into distances he couldn’t fathom.
When Meredith led him upstairs, he didn’t resist. Theo was in Boston for the week.
She sent the maids home.