GETTING GROOMEDGETTING GROOMED
YOUR MAN MAY NOT THINK HE NEEDS TO PREP for the big day, but we both know better! From when to get his hair cut to how to calm razor burn stat, this chapter will give you the tools you need to ensure he looks as handsome as you do beautiful on the big day. Either pass this chapter on to him or just gently suggest he follow the below—you’ll both appreciate the results!
Whether your man is a face-wash novice or manscaping connoisseur, getting him to jump on an entirely new beauty regimen may be a challenge. And, thankfully, it’s not required.
Fact is: you fell in love with him regardless of his grooming habits (as he did with you), so now’s not the time to be nitpicking the particulars of his routine. So, you ask, what’s the point of this section? It’s for the man who has either been raiding your beauty supplies in an attempt to subtly tap into his inner beauty king, the entirely clueless gent who’s looking for some direction, or the man for whom whatever he’s currently doing just isn’t working. Also, it’s for the man who couldn’t care less about any of this, until, that is, he wakes up the morning of the big day with a photographer en route and a pimple smack dab in the middle of his forehead. No matter where he falls on the spectrum, however, just make sure he doesn’t try anything new within two weeks of your wedding to avoid any potential adverse reactions.
Think of this as the CliffsNotes version of Chapter 6 designed for you—although, by all means, if your man is up for it, put him on the more elaborate beauty prescription outlined in Chapter 6!
Grooming the Groom’s Hair (Everywhere!)Grooming the Groom’s Hair (Everywhere!)
HEAD HAIR
Most men, like women, know that they’re happiest with their hair a few days (sometimes longer) after a cut. Start paying attention now to when he likes his post-cut ’do best and make sure he schedules his pre-wedding cut at the right time so it’s perfect for the big day. This would also be a good time to ensure he has a regular go-to person for his haircut (and not just a go-to place) who is familiar with just how he likes it. You definitely don’t want to start experimenting with a new style or a new pair of scissor-bearing hands before this momentous (and widely photographed!) day.
FACIAL HAIR
Unless you’re a stellar shaver (and I mean, award-winning), you should avoid taking blade to skin on the big day lest any unforeseen cut or irritation occur. Want a clean-shaven look? Shave the night before and use an electric razor to touch-up the morning of. A little stubble is better than an unexpected cut or razor burn.
BODY HAIR
So, this is the stuff most men (and women) don’t want to talk about, but here we go anyway. While “manscaping” has become exponentially more popular over the last few decades, in much the same way a Brazilian bikini wax isn’t for everyone, body hair removal isn’t for every man. Thankfully, unlike your body, his is pretty covered up at all but the most unconventional of weddings. That being said, if you’re having a destination wedding where you’ll be lounging beachside pre- and post-nuptials, consider your hair removal options.
EYEBROWS
Many men think brow grooming is just for the ladies, but those men are wrong. Few celebrity men I know don’t at least clean up the area between their brows to fix a potential unibrow! While I’d advise a visit to a brow expert (especially one used to working with men since the last thing you want are too-tamed, ladylike brows), if that’s too much to ask of your man, carefully help your fiancé to tweeze the hairs between his brows and subtly trim long brow hairs, if needed.
Lucky enough to have a man willing to trust the pros? Schedule his first visit at least three months before to ensure he doesn’t have an adverse reaction to the process—or the result! Schedule his pre-wedding appointment when you do your own (two weeks before the big day). And never—I repeat: never!—shave between the brows.
NOSE + EAR HAIR
Few things are as unsexy as nose and ear hair. Not all men have it, but those that do far too often are blissfully unaware. While pointing out a partner’s flaws is never a good thing, if your man has some unnoticed strays in his nose or ears, considering buying him a trimmer made just for that purpose and gently encouraging him to use it. Don’t ever use tweezers or regular scissors, though, as they can seriously injure both sensitive areas.
Hair Removal 101Hair Removal 101
RAZOR
ELECTRIC RAZOR
TWEEZING
DEPILATORY CREAM
WAX
ELECTROLYSIS
LASER HAIR REMOVAL
Razor Burn + Ingrown Hairs SOSRazor Burn + Ingrown Hairs SOS
RAZOR BURN
Even the most practiced of hair removing gents sometimes hit a snag. Whether it’s a new razor that’s tripped you up or skin that’s more sensitive from climate changes, calm the irritation with this remedy:
Redness Reducing Compresses
1/4 cup whole milk
1 chamomile tea bag
1 tablespoon raw honey
Heat the milk over low heat before removing from the burner and steeping the chamomile tea bag for 5 minutes. Remove the tea bag and discard. Add the honey and stir until well combined. Refrigerate the mixture until cold.
Saturate cotton rounds in the mixture and apply to skin. Repeat as needed.
Quick Tip 
Save chill time by adding ice cubes once the mixture is cooled to room temperature.
INGROWN HAIRS
If you’re a chronic sufferer, start experimenting with new hair removal techniques well before the wedding date in order to find the one best suited for your skin and hair. It’s also time you start a prophylactic routine. The key: exfoliation to prevent hairs trying to grow in from getting trapped underneath dead skin cells. Whether you prefer a chemical exfoliant (like an astringent or saturated cleansing pad packed with skin-rejuvenating acids that you can find at your local drugstore, spa, or barbershop) or a manual exfoliator (like a grainy body scrub or just a handful of white sugar), removing the dead skin cells every couple of days will keep your skin clear and ingrown hairs at bay.
While prevention is the best medicine, if you find yourself in a bind with a last-minute ingrown hair, it isn’t anything to fret over. Instead, try making this:
Skin-Soothing Spot Treatment
1 teaspoon full-fat Greek yogurt
1/2 teaspoon raw honey
Mix both ingredients together until smooth. Apply a thin layer to affected areas and let sit for 15 minutes before rinsing with warm water.
Quick Tips
While I don’t recommend ever trying something new right before saying “I do,” if you find yourself with your first ingrown hair on the big day, this spot treatment is pretty safe even for sensitive skin (assuming you’re not allergic to any of the ingredients). Just to be safe, though, apply a small dab on the inside of your wrist and let it sit for fifteen minutes to test for a reaction before applying this on your face.
No yogurt or honey in sight? Apply a thick layer of an over-the-counter cortisone cream to reduce redness. Rinse it off when you need to start getting ready.
Last, but not least, find your bride-to-be’s makeup artist and ask for some concealer—there’s no shame in a bit of cover-up!
Skincare Saviors: Daily Solutions + Day-of SaversSkincare Saviors: Daily Solutions + Day-of Savers
DRY SKIN
Try using extra-virgin cold-pressed coconut oil instead of your usual nightly moisturizer. It’s packed with fats to hydrate, but what really makes this a dry skin saver is its lauric acid, which helps to gently exfoliate dry, dead skin cells, so the moisturizing properties can really work their magic. Prefer a more traditional lotion? Look for ones that are both alcohol-free and contain hyaluronic acid and/or natural oils (like olive, argan, and coconut). Also, make sure you’re exfoliating at least two times per week—and especially the day of—to polish away dull, dry skin.
ACNE
If your skin is constantly breaking out and consistently oily, try adding more anti-inflammatory and rejuvenating foods to your diet (like berries and carrots, respectively) and drinking more water. Cutting out dairy and gluten can also help, so it’s at least worth a try. As for skincare, make sure you’re not over-drying. As counterintuitive as it may sound, drying out your skin could be the problem. Even if your skin is still appearing oily. When your skin is too dry, it panics and starts to over-compensate by producing sebum (the pore-clogging kind of oil). Keep your skin moisturized (ideally with an anti-inflammatory and antibacterial moisturizer like extra-virgin cold-pressed coconut oil) and your body will know that no sebum is necessary. Skin still shiny (and wish it weren’t)? Use an oil-controlling moisturizer (lots of men’s skincare brands, like Clinique for Men and Anthony Logistics, make them) and apply a mattifying powder. (Urban Decay’s De-Slick Mattifying Powder is great because it’s clear, so you won’t feel like you’re wearing any makeup.)
OCCASIONAL BREAKOUTS
If your skin is less acne prone and more just prone to the once in a while breakout, Murphy’s Law says that on this all-eyes-on-you day, you’ll find yourself with a face full of zits. If your skin is aggravated by stress (or travel, if you will be traveling for your wedding), start to pre-treat your skin two to three weeks before the big day with the products you would usually only use if you were actively breaking out. You do not want to suddenly start a never-before-tried skincare routine before the big day and risk having an allergic reaction, but pre-treating your skin with your current worst-case scenario arsenal will help to keep any impending pimples away.
DAY-OF PIMPLES
If during the day or two leading up to your wedding you wake to find a single giant zit taking over your face, head to the dermatologist who can quickly inject the pimple with cortisone to immediately reduce inflammation and redness. Dealing with more than one—or can’t make it to the doc? Now is not the time to try drying them out (you need a couple of days for that to be an effective strategy) or picking (which is never a good strategy). Rather, focus on reducing redness and inflammation. My favorite tip: apply a thin layer of full-fat Greek yogurt as a mask. Within a few minutes, it will reduce redness, irritation, and inflammation. Then ask your bride’s makeup artist for a little help (yes, it will come in the form of makeup and no, no one will know!).
BODY BREAKOUTS
You’re about to embark on a week with (likely!) more nudity than any other before, so now would be a good time to get those body breakouts under control once and for all. Because your body’s skin is less sensitive than that of your face, as a general rule of thumb, any acne product designed for your face is also safe for your body (although the reverse isn’t true). So, feel free to use any blemish-busting mask designed for your face to spot-treat any body zits. As for regular maintenance, look for a body wash with salicylic acid and use it in the shower daily. If that’s still not cutting it, apply medicated acne pads to affected areas nightly before bed.
UNDER-EYE CIRCLES
Often wake with under-eye darkness or puffiness? Add an eye cream with caffeine to your daily routine—and store it in the fridge. The caffeine helps to constrict the blood vessels and reduce under-eye discoloration while the coolness helps to reduce puffiness. Also, try sleeping on your back with an extra pillow to reduce fluid accumulation in your face and getting at least seven hours of sleep.
Have chronic under-eye circles no matter how much sleep you get? They could be caused by a vitamin K deficiency, so start adding more kale and parsley to your diet!
CUTS + BRUISES
Rule #1: avoid cuts and bruises at all costs in the days leading up to your wedding! Dreaming of a new BMX bike? Now’s not the time! It’s also not the time to throw any punches or get wasted with your buddies (the bachelor party should have taken place weeks ago). Broken rule #1 and in a bind? Here’s what you need to know:
1) Ensure there isn’t any serious injury that requires medical attention.
2) Address any bleeding or oozing by cleaning the area thoroughly and covering, as needed.
3) Treat any pain or discomfort with over-the-counter pain medicine (just be sure to ask the pharmacist about interactions with alcohol if you’re planning on drinking).
4) Find your bride’s makeup artist, a bridesmaid, or your mom and ask for some help concealing the injury.
SUNBURN
If the sun’s done more than just kiss you and your skin is closer to red than it is to bronze, head to the kitchen. Saturate a soft washcloth in cold whole milk and let it sit on the burned skin until no longer chilled. Repeat regularly. Also, be sure to drink lots of water (and avoid alcohol) to help your body replenish hydration from the inside out. You can also take an over-the-counter anti-inflammatory to help with pain and swelling.
SWEAT
You’ve been known to sweat through a shirt even when you’re feeling calm, cool, and collected, and, well, your wedding isn’t likely to be one of those times. Even the most confident grooms (and brides!) are known to feel a bit of nervous excitement. You likely already know the answer to this, but start paying attention to where you typically sweat the most. We all have our “areas,” and some are worse than others (sweaty feet: not too problematic on your wedding day; sweaty chest: exponentially more problematic). Then, start testing new antiperspirants to see which ones work best for you and on various parts of your body (yes, you can apply it to your chest, for example). I like Clinical Strength Certain Dri for big occasions—even though it sometimes irritates my sensitive skin. Not cutting it? Talk with your dermatologist about whether you’re a good candidate for prescription antiperspirants or even Botox injections to temporarily stop the sweat. Also, make sure you talk to your tailor about the most breathable fabrics as well as the ones least likely to show sweat stains. Really concerned? Talk both with your wedding planner and venue about cranking up the air-conditioning and buy an extra shirt so you can change, if needed!
TEETH
You’re about to take more pictures than probably ever before—ideally smiling! Sure, a professional teeth whitening is great, but it’s expensive and time-consuming. Instead, switch your toothpaste to a whitening variety, swap your coffee for iced coffee (drinking from a straw helps bypass your teeth and prevents stains!), and try using Crest 3D White Whitestrips, which can whiten your teeth just as much as a professional treatment for a fraction of the cost (and without having to spend an hour or more in a dentist’s office). And for an added DIY bonus, polish your teeth manually by dipping a damp toothbrush in pure baking soda and brushing as usual.
I’m going to make this quick since this book is, after all, about the ladies! That being said, when it comes to living happily ever after with wedding pictures you love, having your man dressed for the occasion is likely important to you. So, here’s what you both need to know.
Like with the bride’s dress, the groom’s attire should make him feel like a rock star (ripped jeans and concert tee not suggested). The only true “rule” is that he be dressed no less formally than the dress code called for on the invite. Indicating a black-tie wedding on your invitation? He should be in a tuxedo. That’s not to say, though, that you can’t dress more formally than you’re calling for guests to dress. Specifying cocktail attire on your invite? A suit is the minimal level of formality you should don, but you can always dress more formally and rock a tux.
TUXEDO + SUIT
While a tuxedo is standard for a black-tie wedding, for any other level of formality there is quite a bit of flexibility as to what the groom can and should wear. My one rule of thumb: go for timeless over trendy—and always splurge on an excellent tailor. Colors, cummerbunds, and pleats can date you, but a timeless, well-fitted suit will look fabulous forever.
Before suit shopping, help streamline the process and reduce in-store stress by taking some time beforehand to look through magazines and his closet to get a better idea of each of your preferences. And, as always, know your budget before beginning.
SHIRT
For most grooms, the part of the shirt that matters most, both in terms of comfort and style, is the collar. Before deciding on a shirt, make sure you try on a branded collar (like an ultra-mini mock turtleneck or super-high crew neck, which pairs well with any neckwear); a winged collar (like that on a typical suit’s dress shirt, which also pairs well with any neckware); a turndown collar (for use with a bowtie or simple necktie); and a Windsor collar (which spreads out widely to accommodate a tie fashioned with a Windsor knot). Whatever you decide, consider buying a second shirt just in case you spill on it during the cocktail hour.
TIE + BOWTIE
Before you commit to a bowtie, try it on and wear it around the house for a few hours. Most men feel like they’re choking, a sensation any man should avoid at all costs on his wedding day! Regardless of whether you choose a bowtie or tie, keep it simple. Considering matching the men’s ties or bowties with the bridesmaids’ dresses? Just be sure it’s classic and subtle (shades of silver or gray are best), and not hot pink.
VEST OR WAISTCOAT
Increasingly popular with a tuxedo or suit—and a decidedly more modern accessory than the cummerbund—the vest can be either single or double breasted, just ensure it matches the jacket. If you’re planning on taking off your jacket at any point during the night (and you probably will!), it’s worth spending the extra money on a full vest, which has the same fabric on the back as on the front (versus less pricey vests, which cut costs by fashioning the back with an inexpensive fabric but are designed to be worn only when your jacket will remain on all night long).
BOUTONNIERE
It’s a great way to tie the wedding party together (especially if all the groomsmen are dressed in simple black), but definitely optional. If you do decide to don a boutonniere, only do so on a jacket with a specific boutonniere buttonhole on the lapel to avoid damaging the fabric of your jacket. And keep it simple to avoid looking like you’re off to prom. This is also a great way to differentiate the groom from his groomsmen. Bonus points if it matches the bride’s bouquet!
RENTING VS. BUYING
If your man’s weight fluctuates, or your next formal affair will be, oh, I don’t know, approximately fifteen years from now, you’ll want to rent your wedding-day formal wear. Styles (and bodies) change, so if you don’t regularly attend formal affairs, renting will be your best choice. If, however, you think you’ll use the tux at least three or four times, it’s likely worth buying.
Don’t forget to have your outfit professionally pressed prior to the wedding to ensure it’s perfectly wrinkle-free. If you’re having a destination wedding, talk with the accommodations ahead of time to ensure this is something they can take care of in a timely manner.
THE GROOMSMEN
Just as with the bridesmaids’ dresses, you want the groomsmen to look cohesive, but that doesn’t mean they need to match (the only exception, a very formal/traditional black-tie wedding). For a formal wedding, ask all the groomsmen to wear a black tuxedo, but let them wear one they already own or choose one they find most flattering. Wedding more casual? Ask them all to wear the same colored jacket. Like with sashes on bridesmaid gowns, consider purchasing a unique pocket square, bowtie, or tie to help them all to look both cohesive and stand out.
9 Tips for the Groom (No Peeking, Brides!)9 Tips for the Groom (No Peeking, Brides!)
You bought a ring, popped the question, and she said yes! Think your job is done? Think again, sir.
1) APPROACH EVERYTHING WITH LOVE. You may think her fretting over flowers is absurd, but it’s in neither of your best interests to tell her that. This is about a marriage, not just a wedding, and if I know anything about what’s led to my parents’ fifty-plus years of wedded bliss, it’s having open ears, minds, and hearts—and approaching everything from a place filled with love.
2) HAVE AN OPINION. This is a celebration of both of you, so make sure your voice is heard. Love food? Take charge of the menu. Dream about being a DJ? Now’s your chance! Not only will you feel more included, your bride-to-be will be thrilled you’re both taking interest and that you’re taking things off her plate!
3) SELECT, MANAGE, + REWARD THE MEN. You’re responsible for picking the men who will stand up with you at your wedding. Other than being sure to include your brother(s) and hers (no matter how close—or not close—you are), whom you choose to be a part of your bridal party is entirely up to you. (And, no, you don’t need to match the number of bridesmaids she has. Closeness is considerably more important that consistency.)
Once selected, keep your groomsmen in the loop as to pre-nuptial and day-of responsibilities and ensure they are on board. (Have a friend who always loses his phone? Probably not the best man to put in charge of your rings!) Remember, you probably didn’t know much about how all this worked before you got engaged, so make sure to give your groomsmen plenty of notice as to exactly what is being asked of them. Will they need to get fitted for a tux? Make sure they know when they need to do it, where to go, and how much it will cost. Also be sure to include the details both for picking up and returning the tux (to avoid late fees). And, finally, don’t forget to get your groomsmen a thoughtful thank-you gift.
4) PREPARE A TOAST. If you’re having a rehearsal dinner, saying a few words to your bride-to-be and both of your families is a customary (and great!) way to set the celebration off on the right foot. If you’re not having a rehearsal dinner, while you’re taking photographs would be a great time to express your thanks.
Terrified of speaking in front of crowds? Pull your parents and future in-laws aside and express your gratitude in private. Additionally, handwritten notes to your parents, future in-laws, and bride-to-be will go a long way! At formal weddings, it’s also customary to speak at the wedding, but this is less of a steadfast rule, just make sure everyone (who needs to) knows your plan.
5) BE SENTIMENTAL. If you’re writing your own vows, get down and dirty with your emotions. If not, send a handwritten note to the room she’s getting ready in or leave it on her bed for her to read after the rehearsal dinner.
6) BUY HER A WEDDING GIFT. You may think that you’re gift enough (and you are) but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t commemorate this day with more than just the most expensive party you’ve ever thrown. Jewelry is always a safe bet but feel free to get creative. Just ensure it’s both personal and memorable—and something she’ll have forever.
7) PARTY SMARTLY. There are lots of reasons to celebrate—and lots of occasions to do it—but make sure to do so smartly. Heading off for your bachelor party? Have fun but be respectful of your bride-to-be. Psyched to see your best buds from college at your rehearsal dinner? Now’s not the time to go shot-for-shot.
8) EXTRA CREDIT. Surprise her with a massage to taper prewedding stress, send her flowers to let her know how excited you are, or take her out on a romantic date to the place of your first date the week before.
9) TAKE CONTROL OF THE HONEYMOON. No matter how into (or not into) wedding planning you are, everyone enjoys a vacation! Take over the planning of the honeymoon and you’ll not only take something off her plate, you’ll also be able to plan the trip of your dreams.
