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Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same.
~Emily Bronte
The moonlight filtered through the window, creating a soft glow across Lexi’s bare body. I traced patterns on her back, dwelling on what had just happened. I never imagined having sex with someone you cared about would feel that good. She satisfied all my needs in every way possible, I couldn’t imagine being with anyone else — ever.
I loved it.
And wanted more of it.
But I needed to take her home. It was ten minutes after midnight and her mom was blowing up her cell phone.
“Raven?” She raked her nails through my hair, giving me chills. Her touch was intoxicating and I was a glutton for it.
“Yeah?” I kept my fingers pressed to her skin.
“What are you drawing on my back?”
“Plays,” I replied with a grin.
“What kind of plays?”
“Winning ones.” I lifted my head slightly. “And they have you in them.”
A huge smile emerged. “I’m glad I can be a part of them.”
“Me, too.”
Silence filled the air as I continued imprinting my mark on her. I had her in my trap, but I couldn’t help but wonder what that really meant. Would she truly be mine? Would things work out for us? Everything felt so right, even though it was so wrong. We really didn’t belong together, but I couldn’t stay away from her. I needed Lexi in my life and I prayed she needed me too.
She cleared her throat a few times, and then said, “It’s after midnight and I know my mom is probably freaking out. I really need to go.”
I didn’t want her to leave. I wanted her to stay with me so I could make love to her over and over again. One thing was certain: I’d never tire of kissing her lips, feeling her soft skin against mine, and connecting my body to hers. She was all I needed.
Our gazes connected and I saw the disappointment in her eyes. She didn’t want to go home. “Do you really have to go?”
“Well, I—”
“I can’t believe I’m about to say this.” I latched onto a lock of her hair and wrapped it around my finger. “I was hoping you might want to stay with me tonight.” I inclined my head. “That is, if you want to.”
I waited anxiously for her response. Her mouth opened and her jaw trembled. Then she finally said, “Yes. I do.”
My heart pounded against my ribs. Lexi wanted to stay with me.
Her eyes narrowed and she stared at me intently. “As long as you’re sure you really want me to.”
I continued twirling her hair around my finger. “I wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t mean it.”
She hesitated for a moment. Something was bothering her. “Do girls typically stay with you?” she blurted before burying her head in the pillow.
That explained her hesitation. My past came flooding in, reminding me of what I was known for — even though I was trying desperately to change it. My fingers released her hair and I rose onto my forearms. It hurt knowing she was thinking about all the girls I’d screwed. I hated it, but there was nothing I could do to change it. “Look, Lexi, I’m not really proud of my past, but I’m trying hard not to be that person anymore.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to shame you.” She tried to pull me close to her, but I didn’t budge. She hooked her leg around me, not giving up. I lost all self-control and shifted to face her.
“It’s okay.” I tucked the strands of her hair behind her ear. I really couldn’t blame her for asking. Her being just another girl in my bed was the last thing I wanted her to think.
“I’m just a little scared.” Her finger trailed between my pecks and down my abdomen, stopping at my navel. The warmth of her touch made me feel like butter melting in a hot pan. It took me a second to register what she was telling me. “I’m afraid that one day you’re going to tell me that you don’t want to be with me anymore.”
“Lexi, the last thing I want to do is hurt you.” I took her hand and pressed it firmly against my heart. “There’s something in here drawing me directly to you and I’m not going to ruin whatever it is.” My heart beat wildly against her hand.
Her eyes glossed over. “That’s all I’m asking for and I want us to trust each other.”
I lifted her hand and pressed my lips to her palm. “I’ll prove to you that I’m worthy of your trust.” Emotions rippled through me: anger, sadness, fear — and damned if Lexi hadn’t caused it all. I closed my eyes, fighting past the demon voices that kept reminding me I wouldn’t be able to do it. That I’d fail. I opened my eyes. “Look, I’m in unchartered territory, just like you. But there’s no one else I’d rather be with.”
“Then we’ll take it one step at a time.” She placed a hand on my cheek and then pressed a soft kiss on my lips. “There’s no rush.”
Hearing her say that was like music to my ears. Knowing she’d willingly stay by my side as we figured this out reassured me. We would make it. We had to.
“That might be a little difficult.” I grinned. “I’m a big guy and I’m known to take big steps.” I traced her lips with the tip of my finger. “Do you think you can keep up with me?”
“As long as you allow me to, I’ll try my best.” Her tongue brushed across my finger, awakening every nerve ending. I tried to keep calm, but she knew how to get me riled up. A low moan escaped from me, and there was no holding back. I had to have her — again.
“Good.” I flipped her on her back and held her in my arms. “Because I’m not done with making you feel beautiful.”
Her eyes fluttered to a close and I took my time kissing her — from her forehead, to the tip of her nose, and to her irresistible lips. I just couldn’t get enough of her. I sucked on her lower lip and her back arched, pressing against me, our bodies rubbing against each other. I was ready to take her — make love to her until she begged me to stop.
***
“Good morning, baby.” I pressed a kiss to her cheek. “Did you sleep well?”
Stretching, she nodded. A huge smile covered her face and she had a glow that brightened the room, despite the sun filtering in through the curtains. Even with bedhead, she looked beautiful. I stared at her intently, trying to burn the image of her into my head. Knowing only a sheet covered her naked body had my head spinning. But I needed to give her a break — she had to be sore as hell.
“Are you hungry?” I sat on the bed and leaned over her, keeping her confined within my arms.
“Yes,” her voice cracked. “What time is it?” She blinked a few times before turning to see the clock on my nightstand.
“It’s almost noon. And your phone’s been going crazy.”
“Oh, wow.” Her smile quickly turned into one of concern. “I didn’t realize it was so late.” She picked up her phone and squinted her eyes as she tried to focus.
“I don’t have much in the fridge, but let me see what I can put together.” I gave her a quick peck on the lips and then crawled out of bed.
“Thanks,” she sighed.
I opened a drawer, pulled out my Star Wars fleece pants, and put them on. As I turned around, I caught Lexi staring at me. Her eyes skimmed over me and she had a sly grin on her face. Looking at her, I was equally satisfied. Lexi had a body made for worshiping. And if she let me, I’d gladly do it every night and day. I might have had her in my trap, but she captured a piece of me no one ever had.
“I’ll call you when it’s ready.” I exited the room, giving her some privacy. I rummaged around the kitchen and found a box of cereal that wasn’t stale. Opening the fridge, I found some orange juice and about a fourth a gallon of milk that hadn’t expired. We were in luck.
I set the table, just like my mom had taught me, placing a napkin and spoon for each of us. I poured the juice and placed the glass to the right of the bowls. I heard Darth Vader’s song echo from my bedroom. Unsure of how much time she needed, I filled each of our bowls with cereal and set the milk in the center, not wanting it to get soggy.
I dragged my bare feet across the kitchen to the dining table at least five times, doubling checking everything. I hoped Lexi would be okay with my measly breakfast. In the background, I heard her talking, but couldn’t make out what she was saying. Refusing to eavesdrop, I grabbed my phone and checked my messages.
Coach texted us about tomorrow’s meeting and reminded us to keep eating healthy and working out. Did having sex for a few hours count? I laughed, thinking about holding Lexi against the wall as a new way to do squats.
Several minutes later, I noticed how silent it was in the apartment. I listened for a few seconds, making sure Lexi was off the phone before I went to check on her. As I approached my room, I saw her standing, eyes shut with my white dress shirt at her nose. She inhaled deeply, seeming to be in a heavenly bliss.
“Like the way my clothes smell?” I stood in the doorway, holding onto the doorframe with both hands. I smiled, loving how cute she looked in my shirt swallowing her sexy body.
Her eyes popped wide open and her cheeks flushed a bright red. “Um...” Her arms lowered, but she kept the shirt wrapped around her body. “I, um, left my clothes in the living room.”
“Correction.” I approached her. “I took your clothes off in the living room.”
“Oh, well, yeah, I guess you’re right.” She took a few short breaths. “I mean, you did strip them off of me.” Her weight shifted from one hip to the other. I loved it when I got her all hot and bothered.
“I sure did.” I cocked a brow. “And I can’t wait to do it again.”
A low whimper escaped the back of her throat. Her hands relaxed and my shirt opened, revealing just enough cleavage and a perfect triangle below, distracting me for a moment. I forced my eyes to stay above her neck, pushing back the temptation to grab her and toss her back in my bed.
“But you need to eat first.” I grasped the top button of my shirt and pushed it through the hole.
“Food would be good.” Her eyes glossed over.
I tried to subdue the throbbing from under my waistband, but being this close to her was nearly impossible. Unable to resist, I allowed my eyes to scan her body once more. “Damn, you look sexy as hell in my shirt.”
“It’s amazing how your clothes do that to me.” She ran a hand through her matted hair and my fingers itched, dying to entwine them within her locks.
“I think it’s the other way around.” One by one, I pushed each button through the holes. Dressing her was pure torture. “You make my clothes look damn good,” I said, managing to finish, and pressed a kiss to her forehead. “Let’s eat.”
I led her to the dining room table. “I know it’s not much, but it’s all that I have.” I shot her a half smile. “I wasn’t expecting to stay here.”
“It’s perfect, Raven.” She pulled out a chair before I could and I cursed myself for not being fast enough. “Thank you.”
We ate our breakfast, talking about whatever came to mind. Being with Lexi felt so right, so natural. She knew how to make me feel comfortable and I did my best to put her at ease. It was hard to believe we were finally together. That she had given herself to me. It was a special gift and I vowed to cherish it forever. We were connected now, on a deeper, more intimate level than before.
Lexi’s phone chimed and I cringed. I didn’t want this day to end. But at the same time, I didn’t want this to cause problems with her family. She finished her juice and set the glass on the table. “I guess I should take a shower and get dressed so you can take me home.”
My shoulders dropped and I leaned over the table. I stared at my cereal bowl, pressing the spoon in the puddle of milk. I wanted to ask her to stay with me, but I didn’t want to pressure her. I had already convinced her to spend the night and asking her to stay longer was probably not the best idea. She wanted to take things slow and I was on the fast lane headed for a wreck if I wasn’t careful.
“My mom said there was a bad winter storm due to arrive in a few hours. She didn’t want me to get caught in it.” She pushed the chair back and stood up. Taking her bowl and glass, she headed to the kitchen.
“I’ll get it.” I got up and followed her, carrying my dirty dishes.
“I can help you wash them.” She turned on the water and began to rinse her glass.
Just thinking about Lexi not being here with me drove me crazy. The voices circled around in my head, reminding me it would never work. Her parents would never accept me. I should stop while I was ahead. But I ignored them. Reaching over her hand, I turned off the water. “Stay with me.”
Her head spun in my direction. “What?”
“You heard me.” I turned her to face me. “Don’t go.”
“Seriously?” Enthusiasm laced her voice and she placed her hands on my chest. The tips of her fingernails dragged across my skin causing flesh bumps to erupt. I about went insane, all sense of rationale wanting to leave. “You really want me to stay with you?”
“Only if you want to.” I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her close. She leaned back and our eyed connected. Without saying the words, I saw the answer in the sparkle of her eyes. My hand slid down her back and rested on her butt. The tips of my fingers brushed her cheeks and I had to take a deep breath before I took her right there on the kitchen counter.
“So, you want to wake up with me every morning?”
I tilted my head to the side as I imagined waking up every morning to see her beautiful face. How it would feel to hold her in my arms and never let her go, make love to her every day. I was totally consumed by her and nothing in the world mattered except for her. “Is that too much to ask for?”
A smile covered her face. “No, not at all.”
“Good.” I puckered my lips against her mouth. “Because I want to see you tomorrow and every day after that, just to start.”
∑