I keep Hannah a secret, unwilling to risk her life and my happiness. Arriving at the palace, Alexander steps out first and offers me his hand. I willingly take it, appreciating the gesture as much as the help for solid footing. I do my best to avoid glancing at the carriage with Hannah as she steps out. Even in the darkness outside, her blue dress catches the corner of my eye. My cheeks burn and I must look away. I focus my attention on Alexander. If I blush, he must think my emotions are exclusively for him.
"You have a lovely home," I say, doing my best to sound pleased. Honestly, I am. The castle is beautiful, with stone walls surrounding the entrance and gray stone making up its exterior.
"No compliments yet. At least not until you've seen the inside and your chambers."
"My chambers?" I ask. "I thought we'd be sharing a room once we're married."
"All in due time," he says and walks over to his guards, speaking with them briefly before taking my arm. "Your ladies shall get you ready, Princess Isabella. Our marriage ceremony will begin shortly."
Butterflies assault my stomach and my hands begin to sweat. Why am I so nervous? Alexander is a great guy, right? He seems generous in allowing me to bring my maids and lady-in-waiting to his home. What did my father offer him in return for my hand in marriage—land, money, something else?
One of Alexander's guards approaches my ladies. "Sebastian will be leading you up to your chambers. I shall meet you within the hour."
At least my hair is done. I don't feel ready, but will I ever be prepared for marriage? I'm doing this for the good of my kingdom and his.
Sebastian leads us inside the castle through the back entrance. Oil lamps light the hall corridors as we walk up to the third story inside the palace. As my eyes adjust, I get a better look at Sebastian with his reddish-brown hair. He's taller than Alexander and more muscular but that's not surprising. He would have to be prepared for battle and capable of protecting a prince. There's a dusting of freckles over his cheeks and his eyes are small and narrow as he focuses on the instructions given to him. I would guess he's an honorable man; it's why Alexander trusted Sebastian to accompany him to our kingdom. Not that the ride is unsafe, both of our nations have established peace between one another, but that doesn't mean a rebel or outlaw isn't causing trouble.
"The princess' chambers are on the right," Sebastian says. "The room across the hall is fit for a lady-in-waiting. We have maids' quarters downstairs; I can show you those after you bring the princess' items to her room."
"Isabella," I say, correcting Sebastian. I have always hated being called 'the princess'.
"Of course, my apologies, Princess Isabella," Sebastian says and bows his head. "Can I get you anything else?"
"No, thank you." I enter my bedroom and am pleasantly surprised by the decor. The room is warm, with colorful paintings hanging on the walls and a beautiful gold and red bedspread covering the mattress. Am I expected to sleep in here or with my husband after we're wed?
Hannah is right behind me and her presence is comforting. She makes me feel right at home.
Anne and Magdalene carry my trunk up to my room before finding the chambers in which to bring their belongings. I know they'll unpack my gown and trinkets when they have time. Leaving everything on the carriage unattended is a bad idea. Certainly, we'd like to believe everyone is honorable, but thieves may very well be waiting for the opportunity to strike.
While my maids are occupied, Hannah opens the trunk and lifts the wedding gown.
"I need your help." I point to the laces at the back of my gown. I can't undo them on my own. They are much too tight and out of my reach.
Hannah walks over and loosens the gown, making it possible for me to remove. "Get undressed. We don't have much time."
I hide behind the changing curtain, not that Hannah hasn't seen me naked, but I try to have a little modesty. Besides, at any moment, Prince Alexander could enter without warning.
Hannah tosses the gown to me over the partition and I step into the outfit. It's absolutely stunning. The bottom is a pale blue. It reminds me of Hannah's eye color. Anne designed the gown, had that been her intention? Of course, blue was also the color of purity. The top of the gown is a beautiful cream, covering my breasts and clinging to my shoulders. It's embroidered with white flowers and a gold lace trim.
"Hannah." I step out from behind the curtain revealing the gown to her. "Can you lace the gown?"
"You look amazing, Ella."
I approach the window, staring out the frosted glass as she works the ribbons on the back of the gown. The castle is quiet. I can hardly believe a wedding is about to ensue.
Anne and Magdalene rush into the room without knocking. Another reason I needed to be behind the partition when I was changing. Usually, they're proper with announcing themselves, but those two in a rush tend to forget the most essential requirements of being a maid.
"I'll finish with her gown," Anne says, shooing Hannah away.
"Fine, but I'm almost done." Hannah stands beside me and opens the glass window. We stare out into the garden. It's beautiful, even at night. There isn't a seat by the window, and I do miss my home, but I feel like I might be able to fit in here.
"Do I look presentable?" I ask, turning around to face Hannah.
There's a sadness and a look of longing in her gaze. "You are beautiful as always." Hannah returns to my trunk and retrieves the veil sitting on top. She secures it to my hair, pulling it down to cover my face. "I wish I was the one you were walking down the aisle to meet."
She's said it. I've known it to be true, but Hannah has always kept her feelings to herself. Stepping forward, I lift my veil, letting her see my gaze. "Just because I'm marrying Alexander doesn't mean I love you any less." We can't marry; it's not an option, and I'm not sure she would be happy marrying me if she could. I'd likely be denounced from a princess to a peasant. Would that make her happy? She, too, would find life less enjoyable living outside the palace. It's better this way, sharing a secret.
Hannah nods and her lips quirk to the side. "I came here to be with you, Ella. Promise me after you marry Alexander, our lives together won't change."
"If they change, it'll be for the better," I say, trying my best to assure Hannah that it will work out. I won't let her get caught in the middle and have it destroy her life. She will not be labeled a whore.
"Princess Isabella," Sebastian says, knocking on my door.
Hannah walks over and opens it, glancing him over. "Yes?"
"The ceremony will begin shortly. Please follow me."
My hands are trembling, but I shove them back at my sides.
"Hold on!" Hannah rushes toward me, bringing the veil back down over my face.
"Thank you," I whisper, catching the sight of her eyes glistening with tears. I swallow the lump forming in the back of my throat and step out into the hall, letting Sebastian lead me toward the ceremony.
I follow Sebastian through the narrow corridors and down to the church palace. Alexander is waiting to my right and I approach, joining him on the left side.
The priest asks, "Is there any reason this couple should not be married today?" The room is crowded with spectators and guests. The priest proceeds to ask Alexander and me the same question. Neither of us knows of a reason we shouldn't be wed. We're not related or already bound to another legally.
"Alexander, wilt thee have this woman to thy wedded wife, wilt thee love her, and honor her, keep her and guard her, in health and in sickness, as a husband should a wife, and forsaking all others on account of her, keep thee only unto her, so long as ye both shall live?"
"I will," Alexander says. He locks eyes on me, a dark sea of blue that I can easily get lost in.
"Isabella, wilt thee have this man to thy wedded husband, wilt thee love him, and honor him, keep him and guard him, in health and in sickness, as a wife should a husband, and forsaking all others on account of him, keep thee only unto him, as long as ye both shall live?"
"I will," I say. My father gives me to Alexander and we both exchange our vows. The moment feels surreal and my hands are visibly shaking. Does this happen to everyone who gets married or just me?
Alexander's eyes meet mine again. There's kindness and warmth that relaxes me a little. He continues the ceremony with his vows. "I, Alexander, take thee, Isabella, to my wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness, and in health, till death do us part, if the holy church will ordain it. And thereto I plight thee my troth."
I open my mouth to speak my vows, but the words don't come. My heart is beating frantically in my chest, and I glance back at my parents. I don't wish to disappoint them. Alexander is a nice enough young man, and in time, I'm certain I will grow fond of him. Will I ever love him the way that I feel for Hannah? I do not know. My eyes scour the crowd and I see Hannah standing watching amongst the people. She's beautiful and I want everything that's best for her as much as for myself. Denying myself this marriage would eventually destroy her and us. Finding the courage within me, I speak my vows aloud. "I, Isabella, take thee, Alexander, to my wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness, and in health, till death do us part, if the holy church will ordain it. And thereto, I plight thee my troth."
The rings are exchanged, and then the priest offers a blessing and prayer. I'm surprised by the exquisiteness of the band Alexander has presented to me. Of course, he's a prince and has money and jewels, but it's more than that. It fits perfectly, and it's more beautiful than I could have imagined.
The ceremony ends and Alexander takes my hand, directing me to the heart of the party with music and dancing. The celebration is for us. It feels wonderful. I lean in and stand on my tiptoes, my lips brushing against his ear. "Dance with me," I say.
"It would be an honor, Isabella." He leads me to the center of the room.
The crystal chandelier hangs graciously from the painted sky ceiling. Candles twinkle, providing the perfect amount of ambient light for a nighttime affair. The room is absolutely beautiful. We dance, his hand in mine as he twirls me around the floor, and we keep tempo to the music. Other couples dance beside us, but I pay them no attention. With Alexander, I feel rescued from a life I didn't know needed saving, unless you count boredom as peril. He is the perfect gentleman and incredibly handsome. The longer I stare into his blue gaze, the more I realize I'm falling for him. Is that a crime? Tonight, we'll be expected to consummate our marriage, so at least I'll enjoy it.
"Can you call me Ella?" I ask him as we dance. It's the name that has only grazed Hannah's lips. Perhaps it's a sin asking him to call me it as well.
The festivities continue into the night. I slip away into my room to get undressed and prepared. Hannah's been kind enough to help me into my chemise, but we've barely spoken two words to one another. I can't read her mind, but I can see the pain on her face. She's trying to accept my marriage, and I have no choice but to go ahead with the consummation. Whether it's tonight or two weeks from now, it will happen. Why delay the inevitable?
Hannah escorts me to Alexander's chambers where the consummation will take place. My hands are shaking once again, nervous. It's not as though I've never been intimate with another person; it's the thought of doing so in front of others. With Hannah, it's always in secret and something I've grown accustomed to, keeping my emotions and feelings buried to protect us both.
Several spectators join us in Alexander's room, as does Hannah. Seeing him causes my heart to flutter. He's dressed down as well, making it easier for both of us to remove our clothes in bed.
Alexander steps closer to me and his breath tickles my ear. "I meant what I said. If you're not ready, we don't have to do this tonight."
All eyes are on us, waiting for it to happen. I won't be a prude. We're to be king and queen someday soon.
"I want to," I whisper, staring into his pools of blue. I climb back onto the bed, pushing the curtain slightly aside to get comfortable on the mattress. Before removing my chemise, I wait for Alexander to join me on the bed. He climbs up on all fours and shuts the curtain around us. It's a hint of privacy, but I know we're being watched and heard. The act itself should feel intimate, but instead it's as though we're put on display for other's entertainment.
However, I understand the rationale behind it. Consummation assures the marriage contract is binding, and when it comes to land, kingdoms and dowries, one must be certain it's official. I do my best to shut off my mind as I crawl beneath the covers and slip out of my attire. I toss the clothes through the curtain and onto the floor, hearing them land with a solid thud.
There are gasps and whispered voices, but I can't tell what's being said. Why should I care? This happens with every wedding. Just because we're royals doesn't make us any different.
Alexander's grin is breathtaking. His eyes have darkened a deeper hue of blue, something I never thought possible, as he looks at me, probably wanting to ravish me. Deftly, he removes his clothes and tosses them out to the spectators. He slips under the covers with me, and I feel his warm skin against mine. My cheeks burn red.
"Don't think about them, Ella," he says into my ear, crawling above, but his weight isn't on me. His lips find mine, descending down and kissing me. Soft fingers trail along my hip, quickly warming me up to him.
My hands move across his back. His muscles are thick, rigid. The pads of my fingers trail down to his lower back, listening to the soft moan of his lips as his tongue seeks entrance into my mouth.
I oblige. My hips buck off the bed, grazing him above me.
He lowers himself down, not into me, just closer. His fingers move across my stomach and down between my thighs. I gasp, feeling his touch. It's foreign to me, his thick fingers, as he separates my folds. Already, I shudder against the mattress and he slides two fingers inside me, forcing a moan I didn't know I had coming. His fingers are wide, barely fitting into me. I'm nervous to feel what it'll be like with him instead of his digits.
"Just relax," he whispers into my ear, sucking the lobe, forcing wetness to seep down my thighs as he strokes me. My hips move in time to his movements, building a rhythm as I feel his fingers slip out and I whimper in protest. "Soon," Alexander promises. I hope he's not lying, or I might have to grab Hannah and finish the deed without him.
He positions himself at my entrance, slowly inching into me. Warmth radiates through my body. My head tilts back and my hips move with him, groaning as he enters me. The pain is good but continues to grow as he moves deeper, filling me. His length begins to slide out and I run my hands down his back and across his ass, pulling him deeper as I spread my legs further. I want to feel all of him, no matter how hard it hurts the first time.
The sheets fall down his back, his body moving with mine as he rolls us around, letting me take the lead. I ride his length, moving my hips up and down. His hands find my breasts, playing with a taut nipple with one hand while the other moves to my clit. My hips continue thrusting and my head lulls back, eyes shut in ecstasy. The moment lasts far longer than I ever remember with Hannah. It's intense, passionate, and I fall into Alexander, shoving my lips against his ear. "Fuck me hard," I whisper, wanting to feel him come inside of me.
Alexander rolls us around again. Panting, he drives into me and I wrap my legs around him, my hands grazing his bare skin. His body is exquisite. His skin glistens in candlelight. I lean upward, finding his lips and leaving a trail of kisses across his neck, wanting to keep him as close to me as physically possible.
I can no longer tell where the whispers outside begin and our gasps end. The music is art to my ears, a sweet melody that reaches a crescendo as we peak together. Alexander leans down into me, his teeth tugging on my ear lobe. There's a slight pain that tingles and stirs something deep within me. The moan slips past my lips before I realize how loud I am. Any thought of caring is quickly dismissed. My toes curl and I clench down, pulsating around him. He's shuddering above, spilling himself into me before rolling off my body.
Gasping for breath, my head turns to meet his smile. "You know they're going to want to see the sheets to prove our union was consummated." It's not the only reason they'll want to examine them; they will also want to make sure my virtue was intact.
"I'm not moving," Alexander says and rolls into my body, draping a leg over mine. His voice is quiet, keeping the moment shared between us. "Make them drag us from the bed. Let them see how powerful we are."
My eyes flutter closed, allowing my heart to settle and my body to relax. It has been an exhausting day.
Alexander pulls the covers up around us and wraps an arm across my waist. "Sweet dreams."
The next morning, I slip out of bed from Alexander's grasp and put back on my chemise. Tiptoeing out of the bedroom, I wander down the hall to my chambers to bathe and dress. Within minutes, my maids are doting on me, smiling and carefree. I don't ask why they're happy. Is it because I'm finally wed, and they thought the day would never come? Or something else?
There's no sign of Hannah, and I can't ask Magdalene. I do feel terrible and hope she left the room before Alexander and I were intimate. Had the situation been reversed, I don't think I could have listened to it. In fact, I know I'd have acted out and probably gotten myself into trouble.
After Anne and Magdalene lace the back of my dress, I slip on my shoes and wander through the castle searching for breakfast. My stomach grumbles and the only way to silence it is to find food.
Walking into the dining area, the table stretches the length of the room. Alexander is sitting at the table eating alone. "I was wondering where you were off to this morning."
"I bathed and dressed," I say, glancing him over. Alexander is still in his clothes, the same ones from last night. Smiling, I approach the table and sit down. "I'm starving. You worked up my appetite last night."
"Makes two of us," he says. "Come sit; make yourself at home. This is your home now, Ella."
I smile, grateful he called me by nickname. It's sweet and, to me, shows he cares enough to listen to what I want. "Are you going to introduce me to your parents?" I ask. He's met both of mine already. I understand his father is sick and perhaps couldn't attend the wedding ceremony or festivities after. Where was his mother? I want to know everything about him. Does he have any younger siblings or is he an only child? What does he like to do for fun?
His expression is grave, the light in his eyes extinguish. "My mother passed away last September. My father isn't well enough to be out of bed. I can take you to meet him if you'd like?" His eyes search mine. For what, I'm not sure.
"I would like that very much if he doesn't mind the company." I'm sure he's resting and don't want to be an imposition, either.
Alexander's eyes light up. He seems surprised by my offer. Is it such a strange request? "He would love to meet my wife. After breakfast, I'll get changed and then we can visit him. Hopefully he'll be awake."
Alexander guides me up the staircase and down to the back hall. From there, another private stairwell leads to the fourth floor. Alexander gently knocks on the door first. He lets go of my hand and turns the knob, poking his head into the room. "Father?"
King Charles coughs several times before he clears his throat with a moan. He sounds terrible. I'm not sure I want to get any closer than the door.
"Come in, Alexander."
"I've brought my lovely bride, Princess Isabella, to meet you." Alexander and I step into the room. The curtains are shut, the room is dark. The air smells old, musky. How long has King Charles been sick?
Alexander's father gestures me to come closer. I don't know what's wrong with him, but I pray it's not contagious. Though, if it were, certainly Alexander would have been infected by now, right? King Charles's skin glistens with sweat and his cheeks are flushed. I'm not a doctor, but I'd guess he's running a fever. "It's an honor, Your Highness."
"You're a lovely girl." He coughs and a loud wheezing sound emits from his chest as he struggles to breathe. It lasts for several minutes. I don't know how to help or what to do. When he finally regains his composure, his eyes are bloodshot.
I take a step back. Alexander walks over to stand beside me. I lean in, standing on my tiptoes to reach his ear. "Perhaps I should ask my castle's physician if they can help?"
Alexander glances at me. "Our castle's physician is helping him; it's not doing any good."
"Maybe a second opinion wouldn't be so bad?" I want to help; I'm just not sure how else to offer support.
"Why don't you head back to your chambers? I'll be with you in a few minutes."
I sense Alexander wants to be alone with his father. I shall grant him the request; the man is dying after all. There are no doubts in my mind that King Charles is on his deathbed. How much longer, though, I couldn't fathom a guess.
I approach the door and step out into the hallway realizing I don't know which room Alexander means. The one last night that we shared or the one I changed in this morning? As it is, if we're wed, shouldn't we be sharing a room? Perhaps I should have my maids bring my trunk into my sleeping quarters. It would make a lot more sense than have to travel between rooms in the morning to get dressed.
Turning on my heels, I reach for the handle and quietly open the door. I don't want to startle Alexander. I know he must be going through quite the ordeal with his father, especially after losing his mother just under a year ago.
From the door, I witness Alexander shoving a pillow over King Charles's face, suffocating him! My heart pounds with insanity, skipping a beat every so often as I shut the door and rush down the hall. I feel sick. My throat is parched and a sheen of sweat coats my breasts. The dress I'm wearing is far too restrictive, making it impossible to breathe.
I rush for my room and pause at the door. I can't go in there. Alexander will find me. Turning around, I pound on Hannah's door praying she's inside her room. "Please, Hannah. I need you." My voice quivers and my skin is flushed from anxiety.
Slowly, Hannah opens the door. She doesn't look pleased with me, but her discontent vanishes the moment she reads my face.
"What happened, Ella?"
I push into Hannah's room and shut the door behind us. I need to expel my thoughts from my lips and mind without anyone overhearing. "Prince Alexander murdered his father. He killed the king!"
"Why would he murder his own father?" Hannah asks, her brow furrowed. "Are you sure you're not mistaken, Ella? The king is sick."
"Maybe he wasn't sick. Alexander might have poisoned him too!" I pace the small room. It barely fits a bed, let alone a closet or any furniture.
Hannah walks over to me and rests a hand on my arm. "Calm down. Tell me what happened."
I explain to Hannah about visiting King Charles and then Alexander asking me politely to leave. Upon returning, I share the details of what I witnessed. Hannah guides me to her small mattress, and I sit down at the edge beside her. "I'm not going mad. I know what I saw."
Hannah exhales a long sigh. "Suppose it's true. What do you suggest we do? You're married to him and he's now the king. Do you think your parents would approve of you returning home?"
"They'd be disappointed if I returned." The thought hadn't crossed my mind what I'd do next. "What do you suggest? I stay here, with a killer?" Had Hannah lost her mind too?
"No," Hannah says and sighs. She closes her eyes with her head bent downward. "I'm thinking, but every idea I have includes a bad solution."
"How bad?"
"Accusing the new king of treason by murdering his father is pretty lethal. He'll have you beheaded before you can even tell your story to another soul. There must be another way." Hannah's eyes flutter open and she reaches for my hand. "I swear to you, Ella, I'll be by your side. No matter the consequences."
Silently, I nod. There are no consequences if I keep my mouth shut, but can I? Had he killed his mother too? Did he desire becoming a king so much that he destroyed his family and stole their lives? It didn't seem like the Alexander from last night or even this morning, but how well did I really know him?
"Ella?" He knocks on the door across the hall, my chambers.
Both of us grow silent, not wanting Alexander to find us. I squeeze Hannah's hand tightly, afraid to let go. I know I'm a princess and possibly now a queen, but that doesn't change the love I feel for Hannah and the trust I implore her with.
His knock grows louder, more insistent. "Ella, are you in there?" He tries again. Getting no response, I hear the door across the hall squeak open. Obviously, I hadn't locked it because I wasn't in the room. His boots stomp through the corridor and away from our chambers.
I keep my voice low, not wanting to alert anyone stepping into the hall that Hannah's room is occupied. "Now what?" I ask her. I'm terrified of the man I married. He's a man with too much power. I was warned of such princes existing, in their quest for the crown. Had I been wrong judging Alexander when we first met? He'd intentionally swept me off my feet and charmed my parents into letting him take me away in a whirlwind. I should have delayed the wedding, gotten to know him better. Did he have any siblings? Were they, too, murdered so he could ascend the throne? My stomach aches and I feel as though I may never be able to eat again. How will I face Alexander with what I know? I've never been very good at pretending. How will I lie beside him at night and act like I'm falling in love with him? Last night, it came easy, but now that I know what he's capable of, I fear for my life.
"You can't hide in here forever," Hannah says.
"Oh, the hell I can!" I'm doing everything in my power to avoid Alexander. Though the issue now has become widespread throughout the castle. Alexander hasn't been able to find me and has called upon every servant and guard to search the premises.
Boots trudge along the stairs and down the corridor. They're getting closer. I've been cooped up in her room all day. The last thing I want is to get Hannah in trouble.
"Hide me," I whisper, knowing it won't be long until they search her chambers, especially when they find the door locked.
"Get in the washroom." Hannah points to the large tub. "Get down in there. I'll keep them from walking in."
I'm not sure it'll work, and if it doesn't, I'll have a heap of explaining to do. I'll drown myself in the empty tub, hold my breath and pray I'm not seen.
The maids enter Hannah's quarters. "Have you seen Queen Isabella?" Anne asks.
Hannah gets up from her bed. I can tell because the mattress squeaks and the weight of her body gently pads the rug. "What do you mean, Queen?" Hannah asks. She's not supposed to know King Charles is dead and out of the two of us, one can act.
Anne gasps. "You don't know? King Charles died during the night. A nurse went in to check on him this morning and found him dead. Such a terrible sight."
Hannah keeps her mouth shut. I'm not sure if it's because she doesn't trust Anne or is afraid someone might overhear the truth. It's probably best to keep this secret between the two of us. No sense in putting anyone else's life in danger.
"Help us look for her, Hannah?" Anne asks. It's not really a request. If Isabella were missing, Hannah would jump at the opportunity to search high and low to find her friend. She has to go. I hope she shares my thoughts.
"Of course," Hannah says and loudly exits the room, closing the door behind her.
Although I hear the door click, I don't gather the courage to show myself. What will I do when I am forced to face Alexander? I can't hide from him forever. He'll want to know where I've been all day. What lie will I tell him to protect Hannah and myself?
I climb out of the washbasin and slip off my heels, making sure I'm silent as I approach Hannah's bed. All I can do is pray no one else will come in. I'm not privy to all the hiding spots of the castle, as this has been my home for all of one day. I lie back in bed and shut my eyes, willing this nightmare to be over. Do I run? Shall I stay? If Alexander killed his father to be king, shouldn't it be over with? He's obtained the crown; the court and kingdom is entirely his. Except we share it. I swallow nervously. Alexander rushed to make me his bride, why? Will he go after my family next and then me, for my country? My forehead throbs and I rub my temples, willing the pain away. What have I gotten myself into?