Chapter 37

It was still dark outside, which meant we hadn’t been in custody for as long as it felt. Or it meant we had been in custody for days, which it definitely felt like.

William guided me to a sand coloured van, the kind of vehicle widely used by tradespeople and kidnappers around the world. The side door slid open, a dark shape lunged out and a cloth bag was pulled over my head as they bundled me inside.

“This really isn’t necessary,” I said through the muffling fabric.

“Welcome aboard, Pudding,” Drakeforth said from some­where nearby. “Our mystery tour is about to begin.”

“Quiet,” William said, and it sounded like he thumped Drake­forth.

“The key,” Goat said and I could almost hear him nodding.

The engine roared into life and we careened through the narrow streets. Inside the van, I struggled to stay in my seat as we took corners at tyre-squealing speed.

“Where did you study law?” I asked.

“Quiet,” William replied.

“I only ask, because this is my first time actually needing a lawyer to get me out of jail, and it does seem a little odd to be shoved into an unmarked van with a bag over my head.”

“I won’t tell you again, keep quiet.”

“Hit her and you will regret it,” Drakeforth said.

Everyone fell silent and the van stampeded on through the city.

We would arrive at our destination eventually, though resigning myself to the inevitable set my teeth on edge. I felt powerless and angry. So I waited, feeling determined to inflict as much incon­venience on our captors’ lives as possible, when the time was right.

The van slowed and stopped, engine growling like my stomach. How long had it been since I ate? After a pause, we rolled forward and stopped. The engine went silent and a door rolled down behind us.

We were guided out of the van and my bag was removed. I blinked at the space. Some kind of cavernous room, perhaps a warehouse. A large rug marked an attempt at making some kind of lounge, complete with furniture and table decorations. The van had parked in the middle of the floor, and a small group of people regarded us suspiciously. I glared back at them, pleased to have a target for my annoyance.

I looked to my left, where Drakeforth and Eade stood, dishevelled and bagless. I could smell Goat to my right.

Dollar William came into view. “You have questions, and I may have answers. I also have food if you are hungry. Come and make yourselves comfortable.”

We took seats in soft couches and I accepted a plate with a fresh sandwich without saying thank you. That will show them.

“Welcome to the Credit Union,” William said.

“You bologna-biting-belligerents,” Drakeforth said.

“Drakeforth, don’t insult people with your mouth full,” Eade chided.

I finished chewing and asked, “Where’s Professor Bombilate?”

William frowned. “We were going to ask you the same thing.”

“You kidnapped him and us,” I replied.

“We did not kidnap anyone. We lost Bombilate and we rescued you from our oppressors.”

“Doesn’t that make you our oppressors?” I asked.

William raised an eyebrow and turned slightly to check our surroundings. “Do you feel oppressed?”

“I feel a lot of things; oppressed is pretty far down the list,” I admitted, and took another sandwich.

“Why are we here?” Eade asked.

“You took affirmative action against the forces that seek to enslave all of Pathia,” William replied.

“You think we blew up the pyramid on purpose?” I asked. “That’s exactly what the lawn thought, too.”

“Lawn?”

“Yeah, the police. Where I come from, they wear green uniforms. We call them The Lawn.” I sounded way more gangster than I felt.

“You were explaining why we have been freed from legal imprison­ment, recklessly driven through the streets, and finally fed sandwiches,” Eade said.

“Really good sandwiches.” My plan to make them all suffer was fading with my hunger.

“Thank you, and yes I was, wasn’t I?” William replied. “Why did you blow up the pyramid?”

“We didn’t! At least not on purpose.” I felt that I was covering well-trod ground. “Is this some kind of trick? You’re actually police and trying to get us to admit to something we didn’t do?”

“I can assure you that we are as far from officers of the lore as you are from home,” William said.

“Drakeforth, what do you think?” I asked.

“I think I will have another sandwich while you tell them everything” Drakeforth replied.