Sarah brought her mother tea out on the front porch, where she sat in a rocker. “How do you feel this morning?” She set the tea down on the small side table. A few days had passed since Jimmy’s fatal accident, and Sarah was still trying to get her head around it.
Her mother’s chest expanded. “I don’t know what it is about the country air, but I feel good.” She covered her mouth and coughed. She leaned over and took a sip of the tea and waved her hand, apparently registering the concern on her daughter’s face. “I’m fine. Just a little tickle in my throat.”
They both knew it was more than a tickle, but her mother seemed to be enjoying her respite in the country.
“This place sure is quiet without Nick here,” her mother said, changing the subject.
“Well, with Jimmy...” Sarah struggled to acknowledge his death. He had been a dark cloud hanging over her for so long.
Jimmy was really gone. Dead.
“Now that Jimmy can’t hurt me, Nick doesn’t have to protect us.”
She traced the rim of her teacup. “Nick’ll be missed. He’s a good guy.”
Sarah recalled the few phone calls Nick had made to her since Jimmy had driven his truck into a tree. Their conversations had been cordial, but always skirted around what was now at the forefront of her mind—could she and Nick have a future?
Why? What’s the point? She’d be leaving Apple Creek soon.
“I’ve been thinking,” her mother said.
“Sounds like trouble.” Sarah laughed as she sat down next to her. There was a certain sadness in her heart knowing that Jimmy had lost his life. He had been a miserable man, but he was still someone’s son and brother. Needless to say, she didn’t go to the funeral or make contact with his family. They would feel nothing toward her but blame.
Even though her rational side told her he had brought this downfall upon himself. Her soft heart couldn’t help but feel she had been partially responsible.
She knew it was ridiculous. She hoped time could heal all wounds, as they said.
“Are you going to tell me what you’re thinking about?” Sarah asked.
“Staying here.” Her mother tapped the arms of the rocking chair. “Right here.”
Sarah made a funny face. “On the front porch?”
“You are a funny girl. No, right here in Apple Creek. It’s peaceful. I feel good out here. The old house back home reminds me too much of all the sadness in our lives. This place feels fresh. Like new possibilities.” A smile tugged at the corner of her mother’s mouth. “Or maybe it’s the fresh-cut grass I smell.” She tilted her head and glanced at the farm next door. “I love watching the Amish family work. It’s fascinating. It beats watching the soap operas and Mr. Davidson next door to the old house walk that yappy dog of his.” Lola lifted her head as if she knew what they were talking about, then settled back down.
“Oh, Trinket—” Mr. Davidson’s Jack Russell terrier “—wouldn’t hurt a fly.”
“I know. But that old man didn’t do the dog any favors by not training him.” Mostly her mother didn’t appreciate Mr. Davidson not cleaning up after the small dog. Sarah couldn’t blame her. “So, what do you think? Should we stay in Apple Creek for a little bit longer? Maybe until winter?”
Sarah thought of the poor clients in the rural countryside, the young struggling Amish and Nick. A spark of hope blossomed in her heart. “It’s something we could consider,” she said noncommittally when her heart was thumping, yes, yes, yes.
Sarah closed her eyes and tipped her head, resting it against the rocker. The sun warmed her face. She started to doze, then startled awake. She blinked a few times as the cornfield swayed in her line of vision. She no longer had anything to fear.
Jimmy was gone.
Yet a whisper of dread tickled her brain. What if Jimmy hadn’t been the only one harassing me? She shook away the thought, figuring a person couldn’t live under the constant threat of harm for so long without suffering negative aftereffects.
Jimmy’s gone. Relax.
* * *
A few days later, Sarah said goodbye to the last young Amish man from her Sunday-night meeting in the church basement, then turned to Mary Ruth. “Let’s leave the sweeping for another day.”
Mary Ruth set the broom aside and smiled. “Sounds good.”
“Come here, sit down.”
Mary Ruth’s eyes widened and her cheeks grew flushed as if she had done something wrong.
Sarah smiled. “I want to talk. So much has gone on, and I wanted to make sure you’re okay.”
Mary Ruth’s hand flew to her chest. “You want to make sure I’m doing okay?” She angled her head in disbelief. “How are you?”
Sarah paused and gave her answer thoughtful consideration. “I’m doing well. I’ve done a lot of praying about Jimmy and realize he made his own choices.”
“And how is Deputy Nick Jennings?”
Sarah reached over and playfully tugged on Mary Ruth’s dress, the long fabric draping over her legs. “You’ve been talking to my mother.”
“I love visiting with your mother. You’re lucky to have her. My mem has been giving me what you’d call the cold shoulder since I called things off with Ruben. I suppose she assumes there are...what is the expression?...no more fish in the sea.”
Mary Ruth’s joke didn’t mask the sadness radiating off her.
Sarah looked her young Amish friend in the eye. “Don’t feel pressure to do anything you don’t want to do.”
Mary Ruth laughed, a shy awkward noise. “You sound like you’re talking to the group about drugs or alcohol.”
“I suppose that advice holds true for a lot of things. If you’re not sure about your future, give it some prayerful consideration.”
“Amish life isn’t like Englisch life. Most of my friends are married. One is expecting a baby already.” Sarah thought she detected a whiff of longing in Mary Ruth’s voice.
“Is that what you want?”
“Someday, sure. But—” Mary Ruth shrugged “—I’m not sure. It seems my parents are harder on me ever since my brother left Apple Creek.”
“Tell me, how would your life be different if your brother had stayed?”
“For one, my parents wouldn’t be so focused on me all the time. I’m their second-oldest kid. I think they’re having nightmares about how bad it will reflect on them if another one of their kids leaves.”
Sarah reached out and caught Mary Ruth’s hands. “Stop worrying about everyone else. What do you want to do?”
Mary Ruth blinked slowly. “I don’t know.”
“And that’s okay.” Sarah squeezed her hands. “Give yourself time.”
Mary Ruth pulled her hands away and swiped at her long dress in a self-conscious gesture.
“Is that what you’re doing?” Mary Ruth asked, her voice barely a whisper.
“What do you mean?”
“Giving yourself time to figure things out? Deputy Jennings sure seems to be sweet on you.”
It was Sarah’s turn to squirm in her chair. “My focus is on my mom.”
“I’ve talked to your mom. She’d like you to channel some of that focus on something else.”
Sarah laughed. “I guess I’ve been a bit of a hoverer.”
“Like I said, you and your mom are lucky to have one another.”
“You’d think she’d be bored at the house all day, but she enjoys being out in the country.”
“Didn’t you guys used to do some crafts? Maybe you could do that.”
Excitement bubbled up in Sarah’s chest. “That’s a great idea. I should collect some of the flowers growing by the creek, and we could dry them out and make a wreath for the door.”
“Sounds like fun. I could also teach your mom how to quilt.”
Sarah nodded. “Sounds like a great idea.” She tilted her head toward the door. “Should we call it a night?”
“Yah,” Mary Ruth said, her Pennsylvania Dutch slipping through.
They climbed the stairs and pushed the door open, stepping out onto the church parking lot. Sarah turned the key in the door.
“Want a ride home?” Sarah asked. She had picked up a secondhand car recently. Reliable and affordable.
“I better walk. I don’t want to give Mem or Dat a reason to scold me tonight.”
Sarah lifted her hand and waved to the pastor’s wife standing in the window with the curtain pulled back.
Turning her attention back to Mary Ruth, Sarah said, “Honoring your father and mother is a good thing, a very good thing. But you need to pray on your own future. God wants you to be happy, too.”
Mary Ruth tipped her head shyly. “The Englischers’ ways are so very different than Amish ways.”
“I know, and I could never understand what it means to be Amish. So, please, consider that when you weigh my advice.” Sarah lifted her eyebrows to emphasize the point.
“I hope you’re praying on your future, too.”
“Prayer is my constant companion,” Sarah muttered.
“Then I think you’re not listening too hard, because there’s no way God would bring a man like Deputy Jennings into your life and expect you not to grab hold and start a new future.” Mary Ruth lifted her eyebrows, mimicking Sarah.
“I’m the trained professional.” Sarah forced a laugh, referring to her degree in social work.
“Fancy college degrees aren’t necessary when it comes to affairs of the heart.” It was Mary Ruth’s turn to tip her head and study her friend closely.
Sarah shook her head and walked over to her car. The sun was hanging low on the horizon. “You’ll want to hurry home before it gets dark.”
Mary Ruth waved and strode across the parking lot toward the dark country road leading to her family’s farm. Sarah started the car and pulled up alongside her. “Are you sure you don’t want a ride?”
Mary Ruth hesitated for a moment, then scrunched up her face. “Neh, best if I hurry along.”
Sarah sat in the car and watched her friend. Guilt rankled her for allowing the girl to walk home alone. But then again, it wasn’t Sarah’s choice. The young woman had a lot of choices to make for herself. Difficult ones that her Amish family may or may not agree with—depending on the road she took.
Another thought whispered across Sarah’s brain. Maybe I really am needed in Apple Creek. One thing she knew for sure: when she left Apple Creek, she’d really miss it.
* * *
Nick’s sister claimed the low-tire-pressure indicator kept popping on in her car’s dash despite having put more air in the tire last night. Now, she needed a ride to check on Maggie. Nick suspected her car troubles were Christina’s sly attempt at matchmaking.
Nick didn’t mind. He hadn’t seen Sarah in a few days, and time was slipping away. He couldn’t help but fear Sarah and her mother would be moving back to Buffalo soon.
When Nick stepped through the front door behind his sister, he noticed Sarah look up from her book on the couch, a smile brightening her face.
His heart stuttered in his chest. Man, he had missed her.
“Good afternoon,” Christina said cheerfully. “How is everyone doing?”
Sarah placed her book facedown on the side table to hold her page. “Hello. Fine, thanks. I didn’t realize it had gotten so late.” She blinked a few times as if trying to focus after being lost in a good book for a long time.
Maggie sat next to Mary Ruth at a large piece of fabric stretched across a wood frame. “We’re doing great. Mary Ruth is teaching me how to quilt. By hand!” Maggie raised the thread and needle eye level and smiled. “Not with one of those fancy machines my friend Barbara is always going on about. The workmanship in this is incredible.” She beamed with pride.
Nick leaned in to study the fabric. “Nice. Very nice.” His gaze drifted to Sarah, and she glanced away.
Christina put her medical bag down on the table and studied her patient. “You do look well. The question is, how do you feel?”
“It feels great to be away from the hospital and all the treatments.” She slipped the needle through the fabric to keep it in place. She set her hands in her lap. “You don’t have to run out here. I promise I’ll call if I’m not feeling well.”
Suddenly realizing what she had said, Maggie threw up her hands. “Of course, we’d love to have either of the Jenningses visit us at any time, but it doesn’t have to be an official visit.”
Sarah drifted into the kitchen while Christina and Maggie chatted about her health. Nick followed her.
Sarah turned on the faucet and filled half the sink with soapy water. She set a few dishes in the water and turned around.
Nick held up his hand toward the sitting room. “My sister needed a ride.”
“That was nice of you.”
“I haven’t seen you in town lately.”
Sarah pulled her hair into a ponytail and wrapped an elastic band around it. She slumped back against the counter. “I’ve been seeing a few clients, but mostly I’ve been spending time with Mom.”
“I’m glad you can enjoy this time in peace.”
Sarah bowed her head and wiped at a tear that had trailed down her face. She pressed her lips together. Nick wanted to pull her into an embrace. To tell her everything was going to be okay. But it wasn’t his place.
And it wasn’t a promise he could make.
“I’ve spent so long running away from Jimmy that I missed precious time with my mom.”
Nick swallowed hard, his heart breaking for her. “What’s important is the time you have now.”
Sarah looked up, her eyes shiny with tears. “It’s hard. I still can’t seem to totally let my guard down.”
Nick cleared his throat. “How long do you plan to stay in Apple Creek?” He finally asked the question that had been heavy on his mind.
“Until the weather gets bad. My mom likes it here.”
“It’s not a bad place.” Nick ran the back of his knuckles across her cheek.
Her face flushed.
“My parents were in town for a few days. They come home every so often to recharge, as they like to say.”
Sarah brushed past him and sat down at the kitchen table. “Where are they now?”
“Jetted off to Paris.” He waved his hand. “Or some other international city. They’re semiretired now, so most of their travel they claim is for leisure. But knowing my parents, they’ve got their hands in different business ventures.”
“I would have liked to meet them.” She dragged her hand down her ponytail. “How did two wealthy entrepreneurs raise a police officer?”
“What about my sister the small-town doctor?”
Sarah raised her eyebrows. “But she’s still a doctor.” She laughed and shook her head.
“You need to meet our little sister, Kelly,” Christina wandered into the kitchen. “Smarter than both of us combined.”
Nick laughed. “Thanks, sis.”
Christina smirked. “Hey, if Sarah hasn’t already realized what a numskull you are, then...well, then I underestimated her.”
Sarah rubbed the back of her neck, obviously feeling self-conscious.
“Ready to go?” Christina asked Nick.
He nodded, then turned to Sarah. “Hope to see you again soon.”
Sarah stood. “Thanks for taking such good care of my mom. We both appreciate it.”
“You’re welcome.” Christina squeezed Sarah’s arm. “Make sure you take care of yourself, too.”
Christina turned and grabbed her brother’s arm. “Let’s go.”
Once they got outside and into his car, Christina didn’t give him a chance to start the car before she started in on him. “If you let Sarah Gardner go, you’re a bigger idiot than—”
“Sisterly love,” he muttered.
Nick turned the key in the ignition and headed out onto the country road.
“Sarah’s not Amber. You need to move past her.”
Nick cut her a sideways glance. “You think I’m still pining away for Amber?” Forced disgust edged his tone.
“No, she wasn’t right for you. But I think you’re afraid of taking a chance. Amber said she’d wait for you when you were deployed. But she didn’t. Now you’re afraid to make a commitment to Sarah because you’re...oh, I know...you’re afraid she’s going to leave.”
“She is going to leave.” Nick ran a hand over his jaw. “Besides, she’s had her fill of cops.”
“You’re not like her former boyfriend. Any more than she’s like your former girlfriend.”
Nick tapped his fingers on the steering wheel. “It’s not going to work.”
“You know best,” his sister said in the way little sisters talked to big brothers. “Like always.” Sarcasm dripped from her voice. “But relationships—solid relationships—don’t come around that often.”
“Perhaps you should work on your own personal life,” Nick said, feeling defensive.
“When I’m not saving the world,” Christina replied in a mocking tone. “When I’m not saving the world.”