41
They descended from the cave in murky twilight. When they returned to the kitchen, Gabriella and Carla were seated at the table. Alessandro walked straight over and said something to his wife in Italian. Carla took her husband’s hand and smiled. Alessandro’s tension eased with a single long breath. Charlie studied the pair of them and wondered what it would be like. Binding himself so tightly to another that they breathed together.
Charlie left the others in the kitchen and walked the main passage to the floor’s largest bedroom. He knocked on the door. At a sound from within, he opened it and found Brett working at his desk. The laptop was shut. In front of him was a sheet of paper. Charlie shut the door. He saw that the page had just two lines of writing. The man’s total output for the afternoon. “It’s a tough deal, isn’t it.”
“What is?”
“Committing yourself to the unknown. Very hard.”
Brett turned the page over. “What do you want?”
Charlie dragged over another chair and seated himself. “I want you to guide me through another try at ascending.”
“Is this a joke?”
“No, Brett. No joke.”
“I heard you couldn’t. You and Gabriella both.”
“That’s right.”
“So why not take it up with her, you two are so tight.”
“Gabriella is busy with the students, trying to point them away from the here and now, looking ahead to a safe tomorrow.”
Brett glanced down at the overturned page. “Will there be one?”
“It might help us get there,” Charlie replied, “if you and I could do this thing.”
Charlie waited until he was seated on the edge of the bed and Brett was preparing the equipment to give the real reason he was there at all. “You got sideswiped, didn’t you? By Gabriella.”
The guy’s jaw muscles were so tight, it looked as though he was sucking on a pair of walnuts. “We met at a conference. The entire group was laughing about this research project she’d proposed. Seeking to define the concept of nonphysical life in scientific terms. Take finite measurements from beyond the physical realm. They thought she was totally nuts.”
“And you left a good job to help her out,” Charlie guessed.
“University of California at Santa Barbara,” Brett replied, staring at the paper on his table. “Assistant professor. Tenure.”
“Can you go back?”
“Not if they catch wind of how I’ve spent my sabbatical.”
“So you showed up in Milan, you got to work, you did what Gabriella asked. Then what happens—wham. A bolt from the blue.”
Brett’s eyes narrowed as he glanced over. “What is this, your idea of male bonding?”
“I just want you to know that I understand, and I’m sorry.”
“Sorry doesn’t cut it.”
Charlie gave that a beat. Long enough to register his disapproval. Then he said, “My impression is, you’ve already made your choice. You’re in for the long haul. And this prospect, along with getting hit by the lady’s lightning bolt, has left you with a scary sense of no control. You can’t focus. You want to, but you can’t.”
Brett sat there staring at him, his features set in stone. “Why are you telling me this?”
“The only way this is going to work is if we’re totally reliant on each other. That’s why I came up here and asked for your help. Because the barrier between you and me doesn’t really matter, not in the long run. Our quarrel is over a woman who more than likely won’t choose either of us. I’m sorry to be the one to tell you, but it’s true. She’s been burned bad and it’s going to take time for her to recover. And when the healing is done, she’ll probably choose a guy who’s . . . well, not you and not me.”
Brett turned his face to the wall.
“You want my opinion, I’d say it’s time to return to the original reason you signed up. Which was, this thing has got some serious legs. It could carry you right to the stars. All of you.”
Then he waited.
Brett’s voice had gone hoarse. “I’m not certain I can do that. Give her up like that.”
Charlie took the confession as a very good sign. “I know what you mean. All too well. But the truth is, it probably doesn’t matter a whole lot whether we can or not. What we want isn’t part of her equation.”
Brett continued to stare at the wall.
Charlie went on, “When I was a kid, I had these books about medieval knights. I was seriously into the chivalry thing. How they would pledge their lives to a woman they honored beyond anything known in cynical times like these.”
“Only a few queens actually deserved their act of fealty. These ladies, they remained ever removed from their knights. Even so, the knights were willing to sacrifice everything, even their lives.” Charlie gave that a beat, then said, “I think about that a lot.”