~Chase~
“My father is addicted to gambling,” I begin, and feel the weird ball of anxiety form in my gut the way it always does when I talk about my parents. “It’s pretty bad, although he’s getting a handle on it now. Mom is severely codependent on him, makes excuses for him, you know what I mean.”
“She loves him.”
“She loves being needed, and let me tell you, my dad needs her. But he also put her in danger, and for that reason Mac and I, with the help of Kat, talked her into leaving him so he would get help. She hated every minute of it, but she came here to stay with me for a while and Dad went to rehab. Mac and I gladly paid for it.”
“How are they now?”
“Mom moved home, and Dad is working again. It seems to be better, but I don’t trust that she’d tell us if it got out of hand again. He owed the wrong people a lot of money. It was bad, and now it’s better, and that’s all we can really focus on.”
“Makes sense to me,” she says. I love her soft voice. It’s soothing and sexy all rolled into one.
“But, this is where my parents’ history takes a toll on my own social life. You see, they both have addictive personalities. Mom’s addicted to him, in a very codependent way, and clearly Dad has issues with gambling. It makes them weak.
“I’m not embarrassed of them. I need to clarify that right away. At the core of it, they’re good people with huge flaws, just like most people. But I’ll never be that vulnerable when it comes to another human being. Watching them has taken a toll on how I feel about marriage. I’ve just never found someone who I thought was worth losing myself that way to. And I can totally understand where you’re coming from with the kids thing. I don’t want children either, and I had a vasectomy three years ago. Not because I had to or because I already have children and don’t want any more. I did it because I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that I don’t want kids. I don’t want to pass addiction on to them, and it’s another vulnerability that I just don’t want to go through.”
“Wow.”
I look up to find her staring at me, eyes wide and mouth dropped open. “Have I scared you off?”
“Not at all. It’s refreshing to have an honest conversation and not feel judged. I’m my mom’s only child, and the fact that I refuse to give her grandchildren is a huge issue for her. And I get it, I really do. It’s a natural thing to want to have grandkids, and I’m sorry that I can’t give them to her, because I think she’d be fantastic at it.”
“It sucks to feel guilty,” I reply and rub up her calf, feeling her muscles tense as she talks about what is clearly a difficult subject for her. “And it was total bullshit that any dude you were with tried to change who you are.”
“I know.” She scratches her scalp and then rubs her hands over her eyes, giving zero shits about her makeup. “I’m not anti kids. My friends can each have a dozen of them if they want to, just like I have the right to not have any. And I love my mom, but I dread our weekly calls because she’ll inevitably ask me if I’m seeing anyone, and I know she’s anxious for me to get married because then she can talk me into a baby.
“It’s not happening.”
“You’ve pretty much climbed into my head and said what I think.” My hand glides up to her knee and her skin breaks out in goose bumps.
“At least now we both know we’re not alone.”
I can’t stand it anymore. I need to touch her. All of her. Slowly and thoroughly, no more fast and hard.
I crawl along the couch and plant one knee between her legs, cupping her face and meeting her lips with mine. The kiss starts slow and soft and builds, until I’m scorched from the intensity of her.
Maybe it’s the darkness, or the wine, or the fire. Hell, I don’t know what it is, but I’ve never felt this connected to another human being in my life.
I stand and help her to her feet, then lift her in my arms and carry her to the bedroom. She wraps her arms around my neck and kisses my chin. Just that little kiss has my dick on full alert.
“You’re killing me, baby.”
“Me?” She bats her eyelashes, as if she’s innocent. “What did I do?”
“I’m gonna show you.” I lower her to her feet. She slips easily out of her dress, leaving a baby blue lacy bra and panties, and I’m quite sure I just swallowed my tongue.
Fucking hell, she’s gorgeous.
“You’re overdressed.” She grins and reaches for my T-shirt, lifting it over my head and letting it fall to the floor. She unfastens my pants and lets them fall around my ankles and drags the palm of her hand over the shaft of my cock. “This is impressive.”
“You seem to keep me in a semi-hard state most of the time,” I inform her and watch with humor as her eyes darken with lust. “And then you look at me like that, and all thoughts I had of taking my time with you fly out the window because I want to devour you.”
“You say such pretty words,” she murmurs and slips her bra down her shoulders, letting it fall and exposing her breasts. “And that body of yours? Jesus, Chase, you look photoshopped.”
“I work out,” I reply with a smirk.
“Clearly.”
She pushes a fingertip under the waistband of my briefs and drags it back and forth, just touching my lower stomach. Finally, she tugs my briefs down my thighs, and to my surprise, kneels.
“You always use your mouth on me.” She grips my shaft in her fist and I have to close my eyes to keep myself under control.
Fuck me, the sight of Maura kneeling with my dick in her hands is enough to make a younger me come without any other help.
She licks the underside, along the vein, and up around the tip. I have to grip her soft hair in my hands to stay steady. If she wants this, I won’t say no.
“You’re so hard,” she says before taking more of me into her mouth and tightening her lips, then pulling up and making me see stars.
“I noticed,” I bite out. She glances up at me with a grin and repeats the motion, then cups my balls in her little hand, and I can’t take it anymore.
I pull back and help her onto the bed, then cover her with my body and kiss her senseless.
“I wasn’t done,” she says with a pout when I finally let up on the kiss.
“Trust me. If I’d let you keep going, I would have been done in about three seconds, and I want this to last a little while.”
“I can’t do marathon sex tonight,” she says, shaking her head. “Marathon birthday sex was fun, but I can’t do that two nights in a row. You almost killed me.”
“Now who’s stroking whose ego?” I ask before biting her neck gently. She licks her lip and drags her fingernails up my back. “I just don’t want to rush it this time.”
“Okay. That works.”
I tug her nipple into my mouth and suck firmly, then move on to the other one before kissing her shoulder and back up her neck to her mouth.
“I have to go into the bathroom for a condom,” I say with regret. “I don’t keep them by the bed.”
Because I don’t usually have sex in my bed.
“You’ve had a vasectomy.” She brushes her fingertips down my cheek. “I think we’re okay.”
“Are you sure?”
In response, she reaches between us, takes my cock in her small hand and guides it to her pussy, making my eyes cross.
“Fucking hell, Maura.”
“In me,” she whispers against my lips as the tip of my dick slides easily inside of her. “All the way.”
“Slow,” I whisper and push gently until I’m completely buried in her. With her eyes pinned to mine, I pull back, then push in again, repeatedly, in an almost frustratingly slow pace, just enjoying every inch of her as she contracts and relaxes around me.
I’ve never felt anything like this in my fucking life.
“Chase?”
“Yes, babe.”
“The pace is good, but I need you to push just a little harder when you… Oh yeah. Just like that. Fuck.”
“I don’t think we’re fucking this time,” I murmur and thrust just a little harder. “God, you feel incredible. You’re so damn wet.”
“I’ve been wet since I walked in here.” She pulls my head down to kiss her. And just like this, we rock together in the silence, gently making love until her back arches and she clamps down over me and we both succumb to a crazy orgasm.
She almost immediately falls asleep, which makes me grin. Apparently, hot sex makes her tired.
I leave her long enough to fetch a hot, wet cloth from the bathroom so I can gently clean her up. She opens her eyes for a moment, smiles at me, and then turns on her side and falls back to sleep.
She looks so small in the middle of my bed. I frown and wrap myself around her, holding her close to me. In her sleep, she wiggles even closer and sighs sweetly.
I brought her here that first night, and we had sex in this bed. That was a first. And tonight, I knew I needed her here again. Not only is Maura the first woman that I’ve had sex with in this bed, but she’s the first to sleep in it.
All of the vulnerable feelings I was talking about earlier are here. I am vulnerable when it comes to Maura. I suspect that she could hurt me, and I don’t know how I feel about that.
Bullshit.
I don’t like it and I don’t want it to end, all at the same time.
It’s fucking ridiculous.