CHAPTER 25

Unbearable. I don’t want to think about that. My mind drifts away, like a piece of dandelion fluff, blown by the wind until it catches on something, like the building across the courtyard.

Must be another dorm. It has four floors, like this one. The windows are in rows. I count down from the top of the end row.

One, two, three, four.

That’s how many windows. I count the next row over.

One, two, three, four.

And the next row. One, two, three, four.

This is where my dandelion fluff brain catches. It’s my way of not worrying. If I’m counting, I’m not feeling anything, right?

One, two, three, four.

I don’t think, Is my sister is a bug? I don’t think, There’s something wrong with me. I count the next row, and the next.

One, two, three, four.

One, two, three, four.

I’ve felt bad before. But have I felt this bad? Have I felt forever bad?

“How can I make him pay attention?” yells Mom, her multi-eyed head bobbing up and down, her antennae twitching like crazy. “You do it, Ruby! Make him!”

Ruby laughs. Bless her for that. “You can’t make him do anything. Gussie, are you lost in there? Have you any idea where you are?”

An interesting choice of words. Have you any? That takes me back.

“Have you any fours?” I say.

That’s how many floors up we are. One, two, three, four.