LEARN THE TIPS that will help you master interviews in noisy, distracting hotel lobbies, restaurants, at poolside, and in other unusual settings.
Why are some interviews conducted in strange places? Are meetings in noisy, distracting hotel lobbies designed as a form of torture? What are the real reasons that an interviewer invites you to eat at a fancy restaurant?
For the most part, these tough-on-the-nerves situations happen because the interviewer is a busy person, fitting you into a busy schedule. A woman I know had heard stories about tough interview situations but never expected to face one herself. It happened at a retail convention in Arizona, to which she had been asked for a final interview. The interview was conducted by the pool. The interviewer was there, taking a short break between meetings, in his bathing suit. The first thing the interviewer did was suggest that my friend slip into something comfortable.
That scenario may not lurk in your future, but the chances are you will face many tough interview situations in your career. They call for a clear head and a little gamesmanship if you want to stay ahead of the competition. The interviewee at the pool used both. She removed her jacket, folded it over the arm of the chair, and seated herself, saying pleasantly, “That’s much better. Where shall we begin?”
It isn’t easy to remain calm at such times. On top of interview nerves, you’re worried about being overheard in a public place, or (worse) surprised by the appearance of your current boss. That last item isn’t too far-fetched. It actually happened to a reader from San Francisco. He was being interviewed in the departure lounge at the airport when his boss walked through the arrivals door. Oops—he had asked for the day off “to go to the doctor.”
Could he have avoided the situation? Certainly, if he had asked about privacy when the meeting was arranged. That would have reminded the interviewer of the need for discretion. The point is to do all you can in advance to make such a meeting as private as possible. Once that’s done, you can ignore the rest of the world and concentrate on the interviewer’s questions.
Strange interview situations provide other wonderful opportunities to embarrass yourself. You come to a hotel lobby in full corporate battle dress: coat, briefcase, perhaps an umbrella. You sit down to wait for the interviewer. “Aha,” you think to yourself, opening your briefcase, “I’ll show him my excellent work habits by delving into this computer printout.”
That’s not such a great idea. Have you ever tried rising with your lap covered with business papers, then juggling the briefcase from right hand to left to accommodate the ritual handshake? It’s quite difficult. Besides, while you are sitting in nervous anticipation, pre-interview tension has no way of dissipating. Your mouth will become dry, and your “Good morning, I’m pleased to meet you” will come out sounding like a cat being strangled.
To avoid such catastrophes in places like hotel lobbies, first remove your coat on arrival. Instead of sitting, walk around a little while you wait. Even in a small lobby, a few steps back and forth will help you reduce tension to a manageable level. Keep your briefcase in your left hand (unless you are a lefty) at all times—it makes you look purposeful, and you won’t trip over it when you meet the interviewer.
If, for any reason, you must sit, breathe deeply and slowly. This will help control the adrenaline that makes you feel jumpy.
A strange setting can actually put you on equal footing with the interviewer. Neither of you is on home turf, so in many cases the interviewer will feel just as awkward as you do. A little gamesmanship can turn the occasion to your advantage.
To gain the upper hand, get to the meeting site early to scout the territory. By knowing your surroundings, you will feel more relaxed. Early arrival also allows you to control the outcome of the meeting in other subtle ways. You will have time to stake out the most private spot in an otherwise public place. Corners are best. They tend to be quieter, and you can choose the seat that puts your back to the wall (in a physical sense, that is). In this position, you have a clear view of your surroundings and will feel more secure. The fear of being overheard will evaporate.
The situation is now somewhat in your favor. You know the locale, and the meeting place is as much yours as the interviewer’s. You will have a clear view of your surroundings, and odds are that you will be more relaxed than the interviewer. When she arrives, say, “I arrived a little early to make sure we had some privacy. I think over here is the best spot.” With that positive demonstration of your organizational abilities, you give yourself a head start over the competition.
Breakfast, lunch, and dinner are the prime choices for interviewers who want to catch the seasoned professional off-guard. In fact, the meal is arguably the toughest of all tough interview situations. The setting offers the interviewer the chance to see you in a non-office (and therefore more natural) setting, to observe your social graces, and to consider you as a whole person. Here, topics that would be impossible to address in the traditional office setting will surface, often with virtually no effort on the part of the interviewer. The slightest slip in front of that wily old pirate—thinly disguised in a Brooks Brothers suit—could get your candidacy deep-sixed in a hurry.
Usually you will not be invited to a “meal meeting” until you have already demonstrated that you are capable of doing the job. An invitation to a meal means that you are under strong consideration, and therefore intense scrutiny.
This meeting is often the final hurdle and could lead directly to the job offer—assuming that you properly handle the occasional surprises that arise. The interviewer’s concern is not whether you can do the job but whether you have the growth potential that will allow you to fill more senior slots as they become available.
But be careful. Many have fallen at the final hurdle in a close-run race. Being interviewed in front of others is bad enough; eating and drinking in front of them at the same time only makes it worse. If you knock over a glass or dribble spaghetti sauce down your chin, the interviewer will be so busy smirking that he won’t hear what you have to say.
To be sure that he remains as attentive to the positive points of your candidacy as possible, let’s discuss table manners.
Your social graces and general demeanor at the table can tell as much about you as your answer to a question. For instance, over-ordering food or drink can signal poor self-discipline. At the very least, it will call into question your judgment and maturity. High-handed behavior toward waiters and busboys could reflect negatively on your ability to get along with subordinates and on your leadership skills. Those concerns are amplified when you return food or complain about the service, actions which, at the very least, find fault with the interviewer’s choice of restaurant.
By the same token, you will want to observe how your potential employer behaves. After all, you are likely to become an employee, and the interviewer’s behavior to servers in a restaurant can tell you a lot about what it will be like on the job.
• Alcohol: Soon after being seated, you will be offered a drink—if not by your host, then by the waiter. There are many reasons to avoid alcohol at interview meals. The most important reason is that alcohol fuzzes your mind, and research proves that stress increases the intoxicating effect of alcohol. So, if you order something to drink, stick with something nonalcoholic, such as a club soda, Coke, or Pepsi, or simply a glass of water.
If you do have a drink, never have more than one. If there is a bottle of wine on the table, and the waiter offers you another glass, place your hand over the top of your glass. It is a polite way of signifying no.
You may be offered alcohol at the end of the meal. The rule still holds true—turn it down. You need your wits about you even if the interview seems to be drawing to a close. Some interviewers will try to use those moments, when your defenses are at their lowest, to throw in a couple of zingers.
• Smoking: Don’t smoke unless encouraged. If both of you are smokers, and you are encouraged to smoke, never smoke between courses, only at the end of a meal. Even the most confirmed nicotine addicts, like the rest of the population, hate smoke while they are eating.
• Utensils: Keep all your cups and glasses at the top of your place setting and well away from you. Glasses are knocked over at a cluttered table most often when one stretches for the condiments or gesticulates to make a point.
Here are some other helpful hints:
• Never speak with your mouth full.
• To be on the safe side, order something that is easy to eat, as you are there for talking, not eating. Of course, while this rule makes sense in theory, you probably will be asked to order first, so ordering the same thing can become problematic. Solve the problem before you order by complimenting the restaurant during your small talk and then, when the menus arrive, asking, “What do you think you will have today?”
• Do not change your order once it is made, and never send the food back.
• Be polite to your waiters, even when they spill soup in your lap.
• Don’t order expensive food. Naturally, in our heart of hearts, we all like to eat well, especially on someone else’s tab. But don’t be tempted. When you come right down to it, you are there to talk and be seen at your best, not to eat.
• Eat what you know. Stay away from awkward, messy, or exotic foods (e.g., artichokes, long pasta, and escargot, respectively). Ignore finger foods, such as lobster or spare ribs. In fact, you should avoid eating with your fingers altogether, unless you are in a sandwich joint, in which case you should make a point of avoiding the leaky, overstuffed menu items.
• Don’t order salad. The dressing can often get messy. If a salad comes with the meal, request that the dressing be on the side. Then, before pouring it on, cut up the lettuce.
• Don’t order anything with bones. Stick with fillets; there are few simple, gracious ways to deal with any type of bone.
• Checks and goodbyes: I know an interviewer whose favorite test of composure is to have the waiter, by arrangement, put the bill on the interviewee’s side of the table. She then chats on, waiting for something interesting to happen. If you ever find yourself in a similar situation, never pick up the check, however long it is left by your plate. When ready, your host will pick it up, because that’s the protocol of the occasion. By the same token, you should never offer to share payment.
When parting company, always thank the host for her hospitality and the wonderful meal. Of course, you should be sure to leave on a positive note by asking good-naturedly what you have to do to get the job.
Strange interview situations can arise at any time during the interview cycle, and in any public place. Wherever you are asked to go, keep your guard up. Your table manners, listening skills, and overall social graces are being judged. The question on the interviewer’s mind is: Can you be trusted to represent the company gracefully and with a professional demeanor?